Discussion Taking a Sabbatical

[skyking]

I've been up to visit several times under the guise of doing things like hanging quilts on the wall and setting up an air conditioner twice. It has been a few weeks since we have talked.
My brother called this morning to say they had made an offer on a condo in Seattle near their children, and reported that he had visited my brother in law to get some paperwork.
Dear brother in law was pretty crushed. His bride has taken a step back. What were once the lows, the tiredness, confusion etc are now the highs. Her vision is getting altered by the cancer.
We all knew the prognosis was pure shit but I had thought they had bought some more decent times. I thought maybe they could travel with us to the UK in August. Now that seems improbable.
I will offer up what ever I can do which is never much in these times.

 

[lxskllr]

Sorry to hear that skyking. Wishing the best for your family.

 

[skyking]

my brother is always "shaka, when the walls fell" when he speaks about my sister. I need to not listen to him so much.

 

[skyking]

This is a part of the ongoing saga of getting my sister's home ready for sale.
Yesterday was one of those epic "get it done" days. I had pre-built most of the concrete forms and prepped the 6" well casing piece for the job. I loaded a bunch of tools, welder, grinders etc.
The well contractor had cut a hole in the casing for the pitless adapter, "fresh headed" it, and then figured out there was not enough depth to install a submersible pump. I had to fix all that because he had destroyed the old pit in the process.
Our friend loaned me his glass rack and I got it screwed down in the truck.
Yes it is one of those eclectic lists of tasks
I started out by jumpering into the temporary power panel for 240 volt for the welder, and grinding the top of the well casing as best I could. The well guy had done a terrible job of fresh heading the casing, I could put a finger in the resultant gap in one quadrant.
I was able to weld that 75% pretty much bent over upside down in the hole, then I filled in the gap with some scrap I had prepared for such a contingency.
We dug out for the forms and hand mixed 9 80# bags of concrete and poured the new well pit.
Next was 3 panels of 1/2" thick decorative glass that weighed over 120 pounds each. Luckily the glazier had suction cups for me to use, not so lucky one kept leaking down so i was pumping and carrying at the same time. Then I hooked back up to the trailer and loaded some of the plywood there, but by then it was so late we just bagged it. We drove back home across White pass and dodged about 200 head of elk on the highway over a 15 mile stretch. We got home around 1030.
We are beat.

 

[Captante]

hand-mixed 9 80# bags of concrete and poured the new well pit

We are beat

Holy crap is that an understatement!

Hand-mixing concrete is no fun at all!

 

[skyking]

My 69 year old brother did all the mixing, I did all the pouring and troweling down in the hole. Yes he is beat too
Brothers forever!
I stood down in the hole all day, starting with welding the well casing upside down bent over. My lower back is having words with me. Cylclobenzeprine was my friend last night.

 

[Lost_in_the_HTTP]

9 80s isn't fun, but it isn't all that difficult. I've done that and more several times, but not on a hot day and not among other tasks.

Don't understand much of the rest of this thread though.

 

[allisolm]

Don't understand much of the rest of this thread though.

Same here. I have no idea why he wanted to weld decorative glass to lots of concrete while upside down in a hole in order to sell a house, but more power to him!

 

[skyking]

That glass was a custom partition and barn door that my late niece dreamed up for my sister, and she wanted to put it back in the new house. It had survived the fire. When my sister was diagnosed with the glioblastoma, she knew she would never move into the house so all those sorts of custom fancy things went away and the house is being completed for a quick sale.
The glass has some sentimental value, as did my sister's dining table that nobody wanted. We had dozens of family dinners around that table, huge thanksgiving gatherings, Christmas. They will both end up in our new home.
There is one other piece that I will build in, a craftsman style room divider that my dad and the builder made the year I was born. I'm a sentimental person and some things have meanings.
I found a handful of mom's canceled checks that had fallen out of a box in the carport. She played a lot of bingo in her later years and most of the checks were to the bingo places.
My wife and I had a laugh remembering when she came home from a late night session and we were sleeping in the living room. She reached in her purse and made it rain 100's on us.

 

[Mermaidman]

I bet you felt great after accomplishing all that!

 

[skyking]

It did. My brother has been dealing with this for all decisions, our sister and her husband are overwhelmed by her illness. It weighs heavy on us as it has been the family home for 70 years and packs so many memories.
He purchased a condo in Seattle last week to be near his children and the new grandson, so he is fervently getting his home ready for sale too. What a cluster.

 

[skyking]

Great news, they have booked flights to Europe with their son!
First to visit the UK contingent, and then to Paris, Spain, and returning from Lisbon.
Only the end tickets are booked and the middle stuff is completely flexible. It is impossible to tell how much she will be good to do till they get there, so not having a schedule is priceless.
We had tentatively invited them to join us in August in the UK. I am glad they did not wait.

 

[iRONic]

Family first. You’re an awesome human. Best of everything to you and your kin!

 

[skyking]

thank you.

 

[iRONic]

No thanks required.

I’m firmly convinced that if this country had more folks like you in it we’d be better off as a society.

 

[skyking]

Update to things:
They had a great time in the UK, Paris, Spain, and Portugal. She is doing well and her recent MRI shows no new tumor growth.
Huge news is the house has been sold!
Last weekend, we went on that last trip over and had some tough times and good times, cleaning out the carport that my dad and family built in 1967. This wood was never finished, that is the natural staining that happens over 50+ years in the hot dry climate. Dad and us kids built those trusses in a stack on the slab, and glued and hand nailed those plates. We had that weldwood dry glue in the steel one gallon cans and mixed it up in soup cans. We stacked and nailed them, then flipped the stack and gusseted and nailed on the other side as needed.


You can see the print left by the basketball backboard that was the focal point of the immediate neighborhood. No blood, no foul!


Mom planted this birch tree in 1954~55.


I brought back some sentimental treasures, like a 20" diameter grinding wheel at least 125 years old from the neighbor's farm, and the hand painted sign from our berry farm business that dated back before the carport.
I never did take a full sabbatical and that is due to having a unique job and employer who has the right priorities. If I need the time we will figure it out.

 

[skyking]

I sat with her at Thanksgiving and told her all about our trip, which was good. She tried to talk to me and the words are just lost and she gets frustrated, so me doing all the blabbing was perfect. She had wanted to bring their dog down to visit our pack, but she could tell things had changed and that was not a good idea.

Her sister went with them today to a post-scan appointment with the oncologist, and it was the bad news we all feared. Her cancer has spread and grown tremendously since the September scan, and has invaded part of her cerebral spinal fluid system ( the 4th ventricle ) that is causing dizziness, balance issues, and nausea.

They have given a 2 month prognosis and she is now started on hospice.

I have about a week of work to do next week and then nothing is pressing. I can call an operator friend too.
I can take as much time as I can and help them as much as they want or will allow. All I can do is make myself available.

 

[Captante]

They have given a 2 month prognosis and she is now started on hospice.

That totally sucks.

 

[Modeps]

We recently went through home hospice with my dad. I'm terribly sorry for your situation and know exactly how this feels. My best wishes for you and your family.

 

[Mr.IncrediblyBored]

So sorry skyking. Thats just awful.

 

[skyking]

It is, and we've had a shitty run of it.
My nieces both of them had colon cancer at the same time, different types. One did not make it, at the height of Covid in May 2020.
It was a hell of a vigil for her. Everybody is freaked out about covid and masking and washing. The week before she passed, my other niece's estranged father went down with covid and they were the only family around to go pull the plug on him.
The day after niece's service, her mom goes in with an infection and they amputate her leg.
Her husband was a paraplegic and had been bedridden off and on for two years with cancer and infections. They pick up and move to Seattle, he is in and out of the hospital and about a year after his daughter died, he is done. He had fought for a long time and the infections were too much. He wants to come home to die.
His wife with the amputation falls and breaks her good hip. Goes to the hospital at the same time he is there, and then to rehab.
We brought him home, got her a hall pass from rehab so she can come say goodbye to her husband of 53 years.
The first of that May my wife's brother loses his battle with prostate cancer.
There was an aunt and uncle in there somewhere a week apart of my wife's, but I forget which month.

 

[lxskllr]

Jesus. That's a run of bad luck. Hope your family starts doing better going forward.

 

[skyking]

Before the news yesterday she was already feeling some urgency to go through the family stuff with the siblings. We had set a date for Thursday. I think that is still on and I will learn more about what I can do.
I could take FMLA time and help, they have to direct that, as the visits can be stressful. That is the hard part I want to help but maybe will never be able to. That reality bites.

 

[K1052]

Good lord man thats a lot. Wishing things take a better turn for you guys soon. Make sure you're looking after yourself too since these can be very stressful times.

 

[skyking]

yeah, I appreciate all that. Right now I am happily pinned down but running out of coffee.