Suppose you killed somebody...

[Promethply]

Really sounds like as if Scarabic's done this sort of thing several times :shocked:

 

[Zim Hosein]

Originally posted by: cjgallen
I'll keep this in mind :Q

<-- Reminds self to stay on cjgallen's good side! :Q

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: rudder
feed it to the police when they come to question you.

Heh. "Why, no, officer, I can't say I knew the victim...care for some more meatloaf?"

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

Nice people you are hanging out with Zim

 

[TitanDiddly]

Originally posted by: Hammer
nah, that person just watches a lot of CourtTv and A&E

Like me. :Q

 

[her209]

:shocked:

 

[cheesehead]

Hmm...
My weapon of choice would be a potato cannon. A potato to the head will leave an injury similar to that of blunt trauma, and the splatter factor of a potato means that it's extremely difficult to figure out where it came from. In addition, it's impossible to identify the weapon, and forensic testing will simply reveal that the person is a messy eater.
For disposing of the body, I'd probbably line the bottom of an oil drum with concrete, then put in the heavily-serrated body, and cover it with gasoline. After it's soaked (and partially dissolved) for a few days, burn off the gasoline. Aside from charring the flesh, this will also destroy most of the bodily structures and get rid of whatever's left after performing the procedure mentioned earlier.. Add a few shovelfuls of lime to it, and then add some more concrete. Then, dump it in the lake.

 

[dighn]

hahaha that's messed up. i've actually thought about the problem even though i can't imagine myself murdering anyone....

 

[chuckywang]

HAHAHAHA, that's the funniest reply I have ever read. I love the quote of the next guy who responded.

Okay. Awkward.

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: Cheesehead
Hmm...
My weapon of choice would be a potato cannon. A potato to the head will leave an injury similar to that of blunt trauma, and the splatter factor of a potato means that it's extremely difficult to figure out where it came from. In addition, it's impossible to identify the weapon, and forensic testing will simply reveal that the person is a messy eater.
For disposing of the body, I'd probbably line the bottom of an oil drum with concrete, then put in the heavily-serrated body, and cover it with gasoline. After it's soaked (and partially dissolved) for a few days, burn off the gasoline. Aside from charring the flesh, this will also destroy most of the bodily structures and get rid of whatever's left after performing the procedure mentioned earlier.. Add a few shovelfuls of lime to it, and then add some more concrete. Then, dump it in the lake.

I'd claim that if you use the potato cannon, your best bet is NOT to touch the body...that way you don't leave any marks.

My question to you with the barrel...why not just fill the whole thing with concrete, why the ringamarole with gas, lime, etc? That will just make the concrete fail to harden properly. If you just cover the whole thing with quick-drying concrete, leave it overnight, then roll it into the ocean in the morning, you'll NEVER get caught.

/edit: and on the subject of ocean disposal...the primary problem with throwing a body in the ocean is that bits of it tend to float up eventually and attract attention. The solid concrete barrel is one solution, but another solution would be chickenwire. That would keep the floaties in while still allowing crabs access to carry out their vital recycling activities.

 

[JoeKing]

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mom to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig sh!t, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

 

[MX2]

Originally posted by: Beast1284
Scarabic is mr. crazy pants.

Is he? Or is he borderline genius?

 

[jdiddy]

Wow, I have no idea what to say.

 

[BullyCanadian]

I couldnt read it fully. That persons' mind is TRULY disturbing.

 

[sonz70]

Jesus... he honestly sounds likes hes done this before..

 

[jjzelinski]

THe guy's so nonchalant about the process it's like he's describing car matinenance. Psychopathic

 

[Deadtrees]

Now I just need a body to practice with....

 

[KarenMarie]

omfg!

that guys is frightfully insane.

EDIT: I just read the rest of that page...

that guy is, indeed, way out there!!!!
:Q

 

[Zim Hosein]

Originally posted by: Deadtrees
Now I just need a body to practice with....

:Q

 

[KarenMarie]

This made me LOL

What about leaving the body in any dept. store/cell phone co./utility co. line marked "Customer Care"? It would never be heard from again.
posted by Stoatfarm at 9:57 AM PST on June 14

 

[AStar617]

Originally posted by: Hammer
nah, that person just watches a lot of CourtTv and A&E

Nah dude, I watch Forensic Files twice a night. Whoever wrote that has killed before.

Great googley moogley.:shocked:

 

[Landroval]

Ask my next door neighbor. They never found the body of the guy he murdered.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: jjsole
Ripped from Creeper's post on 4/18/05

but scarabic's post was posted a year earlier...

 

[BadNewsBears]

Creamatorium

Never thunnk of that. Wash ashes down the drain :Q

 

[BadNewsBears]

Originally posted by: jagec

Originally posted by: Cheesehead
Hmm...
My weapon of choice would be a potato cannon. A potato to the head will leave an injury similar to that of blunt trauma, and the splatter factor of a potato means that it's extremely difficult to figure out where it came from. In addition, it's impossible to identify the weapon, and forensic testing will simply reveal that the person is a messy eater.
For disposing of the body, I'd probbably line the bottom of an oil drum with concrete, then put in the heavily-serrated body, and cover it with gasoline. After it's soaked (and partially dissolved) for a few days, burn off the gasoline. Aside from charring the flesh, this will also destroy most of the bodily structures and get rid of whatever's left after performing the procedure mentioned earlier.. Add a few shovelfuls of lime to it, and then add some more concrete. Then, dump it in the lake.

I'd claim that if you use the potato cannon, your best bet is NOT to touch the body...that way you don't leave any marks.

My question to you with the barrel...why not just fill the whole thing with concrete, why the ringamarole with gas, lime, etc? That will just make the concrete fail to harden properly. If you just cover the whole thing with quick-drying concrete, leave it overnight, then roll it into the ocean in the morning, you'll NEVER get caught.

/edit: and on the subject of ocean disposal...the primary problem with throwing a body in the ocean is that bits of it tend to float up eventually and attract attention. The solid concrete barrel is one solution, but another solution would be chickenwire. That would keep the floaties in while still allowing crabs access to carry out their vital recycling activities.

That drum will rust so fast in the ocean.

Creamatorium and flush ashes away!