Sup, ATOT. Am I going to win an argument I am just bringing up? YOU DECIDE

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Capt Caveman

Lifer
Jan 30, 2005
34,543
651
126
What does that have to do with your premise? Nothing. You're avoiding what I said.

You said A) You're ugly. That's your real problem.

Now you say, B) You lack confidence.

Which is it.

Not only are you ugly physically with a matching personality, you lack any confidence and you're also stupid. You have a lot going for you.

And you're pathetic for seeking and enjoying negative attention.

I never said that your real problem is being ugly, it's lack of confidence but you're too stupid to comprehend that.
 

alevasseur14

Golden Member
Feb 12, 2005
1,760
1
0
I doubt it.

If I managed to get an attractive girl into bed with me, she's there for the night. At that point she'll be like, "LOL, LIKE IT MATTERS... I MEAN, I ALREADY LIKE GOT TO THIS POINT WITH YOU. IT CAN'T GET ANY MORE PATHETIC"

Hah, you would think that. Spoken like a true virgin! I've had two girls tell me they couldn't go any further because they have boyfriends and feel bad. Feel bad?!? They didn't feel bad up until the point of no return.

There's also always that pesky Aunt Flo...

Oh! One more thing! You DO NOT want your cherry popped by a 10. Get the first one out of the way with a fatty.
 

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,504
12
56
You're a man.

If Mosh, and just about every other female ATOTer, (Cough, we're not even including all the girls I've met in real life) says I am ugly. I am ugly. Looks matter a lot to the girls I want.
It's your attitude more than anything that is ugly. I've seen your picture. There are some things that could be changed to enhance your looks, but your personality is really the biggest thing that needs to be worked on.
 

IronWing

No Lifer
Jul 20, 2001
70,165
28,814
136
TridenT it is your time.

As a wise man once explained to me:
What you really need to do is to go out and get drunk, get in a fight, get laid, get the clap, and spend a night in jail. It would do you a world of good.
 

TridenT

Lifer
Sep 4, 2006
16,800
45
91
It's your attitude more than anything that is ugly. I've seen your picture. There are some things that could be changed to enhance your looks, but your personality is really the biggest thing that needs to be worked on.

You've said it's my physical looks that top it all in other threads.
 

Locut0s

Lifer
Nov 28, 2001
22,205
43
91
TridenT it is your time.

As a wise man once explained to me:

Is that from something or is that really what someone said to you? Who was it if so. That's awesome if real. I really feel I need this in my own life at some point (minus the clap part of course). I have the personality, most of the looks, the will, I'm just a scarred pussy when it comes to... um... pussy :p Getting kind of late at 28!
 

Locut0s

Lifer
Nov 28, 2001
22,205
43
91
Is that from something or is that really what someone said to you? Who was it if so. That's awesome if real. I really feel I need this in my own life at some point (minus the clap part of course). I have the personality, most of the looks, the will, I'm just a scarred pussy when it comes to... um... pussy :p Getting kind of late at 28!

And honestly the problem is that my brain at this point wants a girl friend, with capital FRIEND. Meaning someone I can share my life with. But my body just wants the pussy. Not saying these have to be conflicting things, they are both absolutely normal things to want. But they start to get more conflicting as I get older.
 

IronWing

No Lifer
Jul 20, 2001
70,165
28,814
136
Is that from something or is that really what someone said to you? Who was it if so. That's awesome if real. I really feel I need this in my own life at some point (minus the clap part of course). I have the personality, most of the looks, the will, I'm just a scarred pussy when it comes to... um... pussy :p Getting kind of late at 28!
He said it to me but was referring to a third guy. He was a prof, former navy. The third guy was a geeky, straight lace grad student who desperately needed the advice.
 

Taejin

Moderator<br>Love & Relationships
Aug 29, 2004
3,270
0
0
TridenT, I live within pretty easy driving distance of you. Do you want to have coffee sometime, seriously? I just would be fascinated to meet you in person.

wow seriously? a total bitch acts like a total bitch on the forums and gets invite from teh wimmenz?

time to start making up a sob story about my life and posting relentlessly about it
 
Oct 27, 2007
17,009
1
0
wow seriously? a total bitch acts like a total bitch on the forums and gets invite from teh wimmenz?

time to start making up a sob story about my life and posting relentlessly about it
I think AreaCode707 already has a man? She's doing it for either lulz or insight. Probably the latter, she's much less of an asshole than the rest of us :D
 

Gargen

Golden Member
May 13, 2008
1,435
0
71
I've never been one to pass up a good debate, even (especially?) when I figure the answer is obvious up front. In a sense, it's kinda like why women go for the assholes. The "nice guys" are so easy to win over that they're no fun, so they go for the hopeless cases. I also often actually "do my own research" for myself... and sometimes I'm surprised by what I find.

So let's take a look at this one. The question is... is TridenT confident? First we need a definition. I'll use the one from the OP:
2. belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance: His lack of confidence defeated him.

There are four parts to this definition... "belief in oneself", "self-confidence", "self-reliance", and "assurance". I'll address each of them (although out of order).

"self-confidence" can be eliminated for being a circular reference.

TridenT also clearly isn't leaning on "self-reliance" as applying to him, because even he would (hopefully) recognize that somebody living at home, with no job, and going to school on government money isn't "self reliant".

The other two have had some debate from TridenT though. The three points that he makes are that 1. he does what he wants, 2. he doesn't settle for ugly/fat girls, and 3. he isn't afraid to approach beautiful women.

For the first, that he does want he wants and everyone else can go fuck themselves, there's not much that can be said to prove it's not true. While that attitude is just as prevalent when somebody feels isolated from everyone else (and therefore isn't influenced by social pressure), it's impossible to say for sure, from over the internet, if it's isolation or confidence in this case. Given the doubt, I'll give the point to confident.

The second argument is that he doesn't go after ugly/fat girls. This is purely a matter of pride, which even Trident himself admits in post 37:
If it's acceptable, then why even worry about it? Face it, you're not going to bang a hottie. Not unless you've got a shit ton of money.

So, pick one.

1.) Accept that you'll be life-long virgin because you're too prideful.
2.) Get rich.
I've been banking on number 2 for a while. Number 1 is realistic and I've already accepted that's the case.

but like I said guys... I'm overconfident. I'm really cocky, you know? Can't help it. I'm so sure of myself.

Now this one can be analyzed over the internet. There's basically two sources of pride. One is to set a high standard for yourself based on past experiences, where anything less that what you've accomplished in the past doesn't seem good enough. This kind of pride does indeed signify confidence.

The second type of pride is when somebody hasn't accomplished anything, and settling for lesser accomplishments only serves to highlight that they haven't accomplished anything. It reinforces the feelings of being a failure. This kind of pride signifies a complete lack of confidence. Given that TridenT doesn't have any success with women to lean on, this has got to be the case. So it's 1 point for "confident" and 1 point for "not confident".

Both of those speak somewhat to "belief in oneself" and "assurance", but not as much as the next one.

TridenT's third argument that he is confident is that he approaches beautiful women. There's just one problem here. From the OP:
I try to get a feel if they like me or not (99.99% hate me because I am ugly, and they allllllll say that).
Confidence is about looking at something you want (e.g. a woman) and having the "belief in oneself" and "assurance" to say you'll it... even if it's against the odds. You go in to these situations believing you'll fail. In fact, going in to a situation where you feel you have 99.99% certainty you know how it will end up doesn't take any balls at all. You already have a belief that you know the outcome, so there's absolutely no risk.

So that leaves us with one point for "confident" (assuming you believe the "I don't care what anyone thinks" attitude is from confidence rather than isolation) and two points for "not confident".

Hmmm... lets go to the quotes and see if there's anything else from this thread that suggests a lack of confidence:

You've seen my face. You can't change that ugly.

Unless this is what you're suggesting....

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3142322/Acid-attack-girl-burned-herself.html

Then yes, very lazy I am.
I doubt it.

If I managed to get an attractive girl into bed with me, she's there for the night. At that point she'll be like, "LOL, LIKE IT MATTERS... I MEAN, I ALREADY LIKE GOT TO THIS POINT WITH YOU. IT CAN'T GET ANY MORE PATHETIC"

Because I refuse to have sex with really ugly women? I can understand the virgin adjective for that then... but pathetic and lazy, no... if anything I would be pathetic and lazy for having with with ugly women. I am outrageously overactive considering my stature and activity levels when it comes to approaching attractive ladies.

I guess that's acceptable to me.
:ninja:

I'm not looking for support because there is no reason for support. I do it just to see if I can prove things to people. It happens to work most of the time.

The people here are like the people in real life that won't say you're fucking hideous, but just say, "you're not my type." They use similar dialects and try to not seem like assholes, but in reality they're being the biggest asshole they can be because they still try to instill some kind of fleeting hope that will never see fruition in reality.
Idk if bitter is the right word. Just unsatisfied with the situation is probably right. It's within my human nature to want to be the best and to want it all. So to have very little leaves one unsatisfied and unhappy with those who can get much more.

This is how we work you know. It's completely normal. It's not normal to become complacent and not want anything which is what many of you suggest.
I'm not insecure about my looks. I realize what I am, where I stand, and why ladies don't find me attractive. It's because I am physically unattractive.

No shens.

But I thought all I needed was confidence?

You're digging a deep hole where you have to refute what you already have said! Face it. I'm ugly, and the fact is... unless I become not-ugly (not possible) then I won't get any from the ones I want to get some from. It's not a confidence issue because I am perfectly confident about who I am and what I can get with who I am.
I need proof that only and only confidence gets people laid with pretty women.

Now if the guy with the son who looks like me can prove his son looks like me and is just as hideous AND shows the tail he actually scores with AND it's official.... then maybe his son has a charming personality or a big wallet.

And this kid must have gone to a nice school because every school I went to I was picked on even though I never did anything to anyone. (Kept to myself usually) Mostly because I was short, thin, and a glutton for punishment.
You're a man.

If Mosh, and just about every other female ATOTer, (Cough, we're not even including all the girls I've met in real life) says I am ugly. I am ugly. Looks matter a lot to the girls I want.

...and that's just form this thread.

My conclusion: NOT CONFIDENT.



Anyway, like a few of the other people in this thread, I'd actually be fascinated to meet you IRL. I'm originally from the Portland area and visit from time to time. I can even drive and spot you a couple bucks if needed. Shoot me a PM and I can let you know the next time I'll be in the area.
 

TridenT

Lifer
Sep 4, 2006
16,800
45
91
TridenT also clearly isn't leaning on "self-reliance" as applying to him, because even he would (hopefully) recognize that somebody living at home, with no job, and going to school on government money isn't "self reliant".

The other two have had some debate from TridenT though. The three points that he makes are that 1. he does what he wants, 2. he doesn't settle for ugly/fat girls, and 3. he isn't afraid to approach beautiful women.

For the first, that he does want he wants and everyone else can go fuck themselves, there's not much that can be said to prove it's not true. While that attitude is just as prevalent when somebody feels isolated from everyone else (and therefore isn't influenced by social pressure), it's impossible to say for sure, from over the internet, if it's isolation or confidence in this case. Given the doubt, I'll give the point to confident.

The second argument is that he doesn't go after ugly/fat girls. This is purely a matter of pride, which even Trident himself admits in post 37:


Now this one can be analyzed over the internet. There's basically two sources of pride. One is to set a high standard for yourself based on past experiences, where anything less that what you've accomplished in the past doesn't seem good enough. This kind of pride does indeed signify confidence.

The second type of pride is when somebody hasn't accomplished anything, and settling for lesser accomplishments only serves to highlight that they haven't accomplished anything. It reinforces the feelings of being a failure. This kind of pride signifies a complete lack of confidence. Given that TridenT doesn't have any success with women to lean on, this has got to be the case. So it's 1 point for "confident" and 1 point for "not confident".

Both of those speak somewhat to "belief in oneself" and "assurance", but not as much as the next one.

TridenT's third argument that he is confident is that he approaches beautiful women. There's just one problem here. From the OP:

Confidence is about looking at something you want (e.g. a woman) and having the "belief in oneself" and "assurance" to say you'll it... even if it's against the odds. You go in to these situations believing you'll fail. In fact, going in to a situation where you feel you have 99.99&#37; certainty you know how it will end up doesn't take any balls at all. You already have a belief that you know the outcome, so there's absolutely no risk.

So that leaves us with one point for "confident" (assuming you believe the "I don't care what anyone thinks" attitude is from confidence rather than isolation) and two points for "not confident".

Hmmm... lets go to the quotes and see if there's anything else from this thread that suggests a lack of confidence:
...and that's just form this thread.
My conclusion: NOT CONFIDENT.
Anyway, like a few of the other people in this thread, I'd actually be fascinated to meet you IRL. I'm originally from the Portland area and visit from time to time. I can even drive and spot you a couple bucks if needed. Shoot me a PM and I can let you know the next time I'll be in the area.

Regarding your first paragraph there: In that case, no one around my age is self-reliant. Yet they're confident? In the fullest form of self-reliance: No one is truly self-reliant. (entropy is a bitch) Where you draw the line is very subjective and not universally held. Is someone who gets Financial Aid now not self-reliant because they didn't take out $200k for loans to pay for their schooling? They rely on the government after all to pay for their school, at least partially if not fully. Living at home is my choice. I can move out next month if I wanted... I don't care to though. Waste of my money. I have no job because I go to school full time with a course load that keeps me quite busy.

Now, let's see... you analyzed my "pride" but have a catch-22 argument going on. "One is to set a high standard for yourself based on past experiences, where anything less that what you've accomplished in the past doesn't seem good enough. This kind of pride does indeed signify confidence." So are all people the second type of confidence/pride you listed before they can become the first? I don't really think that is true. I mean, if you think about it... You're saying that those people don't have confidence, somehow score super hot chicks regardless(i.e. confidence doesn't matter), and now they're epic? :colbert:

Now your next paragraph is really out there. "Confidence is about looking at something you want (e.g. a woman) and having the "belief in oneself" and "assurance" to say you'll it... even if it's against the odds. You go in to these situations believing you'll fail. In fact, going in to a situation where you feel you have 99.99% certainty you know how it will end up doesn't take any balls at all. You already have a belief that you know the outcome, so there's absolutely no risk." The bolded is where you initially go wrong. That's not confidence. Let me rephrase it for you in your own words so you can understand how this doesn't make sense: "Confidence is about looking at something you want (e.g. megamillions jackpot) and having the "belief in oneself" and "assurance" to say you'll it... even if it's against the odds." Now, all I really did was replace the example with something that seems ridiculous but isn't at all. Thinking that one has the ability to conquer all the odds regardless of circumstance is not confidence, that is hubris.

Now that's just the first sentence, the rest of your paragraph is still out there. Now if I went into these situations believing I'd fail miserably every single time I'd probably never talk to them. And, that's what I do when the girl has a boyfriend/is obviously not interested... I immediately stop talking to them. The rest I usually just work with until I get a feel for what they think(which is not interested, as always) and then stop talking to them. Again, the 99.99% chance is really what the odds are right now. I've talked to hundreds of girls... :|

Anyway, late night posts are bad for me. I should've gone to bed! Damn it's so late.
 

Gargen

Golden Member
May 13, 2008
1,435
0
71
Regarding your first paragraph there: In that case, no one around my age is self-reliant. Yet they're confident? In the fullest form of self-reliance: No one is truly self-reliant. (entropy is a bitch) Where you draw the line is very subjective and not universally held. Is someone who gets Financial Aid now not self-reliant because they didn't take out $200k for loans to pay for their schooling? They rely on the government after all to pay for their school, at least partially if not fully. Living at home is my choice. I can move out next month if I wanted... I don't care to though. Waste of my money. I have no job because I go to school full time with a course load that keeps me quite busy.

Now, let's see... you analyzed my "pride" but have a catch-22 argument going on. "One is to set a high standard for yourself based on past experiences, where anything less that what you've accomplished in the past doesn't seem good enough. This kind of pride does indeed signify confidence." So are all people the second type of confidence/pride you listed before they can become the first? I don't really think that is true. I mean, if you think about it... You're saying that those people don't have confidence, somehow score super hot chicks regardless(i.e. confidence doesn't matter), and now they're epic? :colbert:

Now your next paragraph is really out there. "Confidence is about looking at something you want (e.g. a woman) and having the "belief in oneself" and "assurance" to say you'll it... even if it's against the odds. You go in to these situations believing you'll fail. In fact, going in to a situation where you feel you have 99.99% certainty you know how it will end up doesn't take any balls at all. You already have a belief that you know the outcome, so there's absolutely no risk." The bolded is where you initially go wrong. That's not confidence. Let me rephrase it for you in your own words so you can understand how this doesn't make sense: "Confidence is about looking at something you want (e.g. megamillions jackpot) and having the "belief in oneself" and "assurance" to say you'll it... even if it's against the odds." Now, all I really did was replace the example with something that seems ridiculous but isn't at all. Thinking that one has the ability to conquer all the odds regardless of circumstance is not confidence, that is hubris.

Now that's just the first sentence, the rest of your paragraph is still out there. Now if I went into these situations believing I'd fail miserably every single time I'd probably never talk to them. And, that's what I do when the girl has a boyfriend/is obviously not interested... I immediately stop talking to them. The rest I usually just work with until I get a feel for what they think(which is not interested, as always) and then stop talking to them. Again, the 99.99% chance is really what the odds are right now. I've talked to hundreds of girls... :|

Anyway, late night posts are bad for me. I should've gone to bed! Damn it's so late.

One of the things that's so fascinating about you is how incredibly resourceful you are at making excuses without being the slightest bit resourceful at anything else in your life. Half the fun of debating with you is to see what crazy things you'll come up with to protect your own ego.

Anyway, if you can't tell the difference between beating the odds with women (i.e. a skill based achievement that can be significantly improved on to change the odds in your favor) and beating the odds with MegaMillions (i.e. a pure dumb luck based achievement where there is nothing you can do to change the odds), there's probably not much I can do to help you anyway.
 

BeauJangles

Lifer
Aug 26, 2001
13,941
1
0
lol, that's not confidence. If you want to use a new word besides confidence for your wild dictation then go for it, but that's not confidence.

And that is where you fail. That is where you'll always fail until you realize that confidence isn't about talking shit, it's about doing shit. You can talk until you're blue in the face about how confident you are, but none of that matters if you can't back it up with action.

This:
I'm not insecure about my looks.

And this:
It's because I am physically unattractive.

Are not compatible. Being "comfortable" in the fact you have no self confidence is not possessing self confidence, it's lacking the will or ambition to change anything. Despite the fact that the minutes are ticking away on YOUR life, YOU take no responsibility for anything that happens in it and believe that life gave you a raw deal.

Yeah, life might have given you some unsavory things, but that doesn't mean it has to be that way. If you could demonstrate one iota of agency in your own life, it would be infinitely better. Instead you bitch and moan and make excuses.

Grow up.
 

Scouzer

Lifer
Jun 3, 2001
10,358
5
0
Nothing is more annoying and less desirable than an ugly, socially inept loser who is cocky and arrogant.