Stupid question. What's the Conservative alternative to the Daily Show?

[MrColin]

My first thought is Rush Limbaugh, but instead of telling jokes he speaks the honest to god distortions of half truth sprinkled with straight up lies I don't think even the most extreme of Liberals could discount.

FTFY

 

[AlienCraft]

Rush Limbaugh

 

[leper84]

it's funny. the only time you ever see such funny numbers are when they are published in issues of "Gun Fancy" or "Gun Runners Weekly," etc.

Well there is this quote

"Fact: Many of the countries with the strictest gun control have the highest rates of violent crime. Australia and England, which have virtually banned gun ownership, have the highest rates of robbery, sexual assault, and assault with force of the top 17 industrialized countries."

That is sourced to the Dutch Ministry of Justice

Or this one-

"Fact: Florida's homicide rate fell from 36% above the national average to 4% below after CCW enactment and remains below the national average (as of the 2005 reporting period)."

Sourced to the Florida Department of Justice

Or this one-

"Fact: States that disallow concealed carry have violent crime rates 11% higher than national averages."

Sourced to the FBI

Or this one-

"Fact: In Texas, citizens with concealed carry permits are 14 times less likely to commit a crime. They are also five times less likely to commit a violent crime."

Sourced to the Texas Department of Public Safety AND the US Census Bureau.

Or this one-

"Fact: Washington D.C. has essentially banned gun ownership since 1976 and has a murder rate of 56.9 per 100,000. Across the river in Arlington, Virginia, gun ownership is less restricted. There, the murder rate is just 1.6 per 100,000, less than three percent of the Washington, D.C. rate."

Sourced to the FBI

Or this one-

"When a woman was armed with a gun or knife, only 3% of rape attacks are completed, compared to 32% when the woman was unarmed"

Sourced to the Department of Justice.

Sooo yeah, eat crow dude.

www.gunfacts.info

 

[shortylickens]

I dont even care about other countries cuz their cultures arent like ours. Switzerland has almost 100 percent employment so you cant compare our crime to theirs. And we do have an obsession with violence and careless gun use in this country. Movies and TV and even music videos glorify mindless carnage. I wont deny that.
My beef is people think banning them in real life somehow solves real life violence.
It doesnt. We need another solution, and I believe improving education to keep better jobs in the States would help a lot.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

It's the nature of the beast. The right wing is just so full of stuff that is so outrageous its funny. On the other hand, there is no other network like Fox News because liberals don't mindlessly follow a single political idea that precludes independent thinking.

Liberalism itself precludes thinking.

 

[blankslate]

Conservative comedy shows aren't as funny because they don't understand that punching upwards is more funny than punching downwards.

That is it's funnier when you're making fun of people in positions of power than it is making fun of people who aren't.

 

[Dominato3r]

Red eye is the closest equivalent. However they show a more crude humor, as opposed to Stewart who generally has jokes that are lighter and easier to laugh at.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Or Colbert? Are there any? I kinda want to see the other sides humor for once.
Also, inb4 Fox News.

Didn't you see Clint Eastwood talking to the chair last week?

 

[dennilfloss]

The Flintstones.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Well there is this quote

"Fact: Many of the countries with the strictest gun control have the highest rates of violent crime. Australia and England, which have virtually banned gun ownership, have the highest rates of robbery, sexual assault, and assault with force of the top 17 industrialized countries."

That is sourced to the Dutch Ministry of Justice

Or this one-

"Fact: Florida's homicide rate fell from 36% above the national average to 4% below after CCW enactment and remains below the national average (as of the 2005 reporting period)."

Sourced to the Florida Department of Justice

Or this one-

"Fact: States that disallow concealed carry have violent crime rates 11% higher than national averages."

Sourced to the FBI

Or this one-

"Fact: In Texas, citizens with concealed carry permits are 14 times less likely to commit a crime. They are also five times less likely to commit a violent crime."

Sourced to the Texas Department of Public Safety AND the US Census Bureau.

Or this one-

"Fact: Washington D.C. has essentially banned gun ownership since 1976 and has a murder rate of 56.9 per 100,000. Across the river in Arlington, Virginia, gun ownership is less restricted. There, the murder rate is just 1.6 per 100,000, less than three percent of the Washington, D.C. rate."

Sourced to the FBI

Or this one-

"When a woman was armed with a gun or knife, only 3% of rape attacks are completed, compared to 32% when the woman was unarmed"

Sourced to the Department of Justice.

Sooo yeah, eat crow dude.

www.gunfacts.info

Fact: 90% of all statistics are complete fabrication.

Or this one-

"Fact: In Texas, citizens with concealed carry permits are 14 times less likely to commit a crime. They are also five times less likely to commit a violent crime."

I'd love to see how they came up with this bullshit statistic.

Here's a fact, if you put the word Fact in front of your statement it doesn't automatically make it true.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

I'd love to see how they came up with this bullshit statistic.

Here's a fact, if you put the word Fact in front of your statement it doesn't automatically make it true.

I'm surprised that you'd single that one out considering how little it means. It's basically common sense that most violent criminals wouldn't bother with a CCW and that anyone that goes through the process required to receive one shows at least some patience. But here you go anyways:

http://www.txchia.org/sturdevant.pdf

Scroll to page 9 to see how they collected the information if that is what you are suspicious about.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I'm surprised that you'd single that one out considering how little it means. It's basically common sense that most violent criminals wouldn't bother with a CCW and that anyone that goes through the process required to receive one shows at least some patience. But here you go anyways:

http://www.txchia.org/sturdevant.pdf

Scroll to page 9 to see how they collected the information if that is what you are suspicious about.

Which is what makes it a completely useless statistic.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Which is what makes it a completely useless statistic.

But that's not what your previous post had a problem with. You doubted the truthiness of the statistic itself.

 

[leper84]

Waaaahhh, your evidence doesn't line up with what I believe. I'm gonna dismiss it without offering a shred of evidence to the contrary because thats the only way I can cope with it being true. I therefore admit my argument has no basis in reality.

Thanks for that.

 

[Ichinisan]

for a similar sense of humor with a more conservative slant, check "redeye".

100% serious.

RedEye has been stuck at the 3:00AM time slot as long as I can remember. I think the other FNC programs get much higher ratings (even the reruns) in the FNC demographic, so execs are afraid to try an earlier time slot for Red Eye.

 

[BoomerD]

There is no "conservative alternative" to the Daily Show.

Conservatives have no sense of humor.

 

[leper84]

I'm surprised that you'd single that one out considering how little it means. It's basically common sense that most violent criminals wouldn't bother with a CCW and that anyone that goes through the process required to receive one shows at least some patience. But here you go anyways:

That's exactly the point, I'm glad we can agree. If you make guns illegal, only the criminals would have them. There's no way in the next 100 years even with a complete weapons ban criminals would not have access to firearms in this country. In a state where it is legal, those who choose to carry a weapon happen to be less criminally inclined and more level headed than the general population.

A large argument from anti's against concealed carry is that violence would increase. The statistic proves that wrong. How is it worthless?

 

[88keys]

There isn't one because conservative humor isn't funny.

But if you must ask..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o_3UIhK-Pw.

 

[88keys]

Well there is this quote

"Fact: Many of the countries with the strictest gun control have the highest rates of violent crime. Australia and England, which have virtually banned gun ownership, have the highest rates of robbery, sexual assault, and assault with force of the top 17 industrialized countries."

That is sourced to the Dutch Ministry of Justice

Or this one-

"Fact: Florida's homicide rate fell from 36% above the national average to 4% below after CCW enactment and remains below the national average (as of the 2005 reporting period)."

Sourced to the Florida Department of Justice

Or this one-

"Fact: States that disallow concealed carry have violent crime rates 11% higher than national averages."

Sourced to the FBI

Or this one-

"Fact: In Texas, citizens with concealed carry permits are 14 times less likely to commit a crime. They are also five times less likely to commit a violent crime."

Sourced to the Texas Department of Public Safety AND the US Census Bureau.

Or this one-

"Fact: Washington D.C. has essentially banned gun ownership since 1976 and has a murder rate of 56.9 per 100,000. Across the river in Arlington, Virginia, gun ownership is less restricted. There, the murder rate is just 1.6 per 100,000, less than three percent of the Washington, D.C. rate."

Sourced to the FBI

Or this one-

"When a woman was armed with a gun or knife, only 3% of rape attacks are completed, compared to 32% when the woman was unarmed"

Sourced to the Department of Justice.

Sooo yeah, eat crow dude.

www.gunfacts.info

LMAO gunfacts.info!!!! biased source much??

Let me go check exxon mobil and see what they have to say about air pollution.

 

[leper84]

LMAO gunfacts.info!!!! biased source much??

Let me go check exxon mobil and see what they have to say about air pollution.

So then I guess the FBI and DOJ must be heavily biased in favor of gun rights as well?

Once again, when there is no logical defense to be made yall head straight for the emotional appeal. I'm stupid, but you have absolutely no data to back up your argument. Right. Sound perfectly reasonable.

 

[shortylickens]

Actually, its been argued that depending on who's in office, many of the departments concerned with crime do in fact fudge numbers to suit a political agenda. Thats supposedly how the assault weapon ban got passed in 1994. And theres accusations thats how it was allowed to lapse so easily in 2004.

 

[BoomerD]

The Flintstones.

Not conservative...Fred Flintstone was a union member...

(remember, he worked as an "equipment operator" in a rock quarry)

 

[MrColin]

Not conservative...Fred Flintstone was a union member...

(remember, he worked as an "equipment operator" in a rock quarry)

Conservative politicians weren't always at war against the working class.

 

[BoomerD]

Conservative politicians weren't always at war against the working class.

Not sure when that was...they've been against the working-class as long as I've been alive. (and that's a LONG time)

 

[Craig234]

Conservative politicians weren't always at war against the working class.

There's that word 'conservative', versus 'right-wing', where you have to define things.

You might make a case that Teddy Roosevelt wasn't at war with the working class - but he was really pretty much the founder of the national 'progressive' movement.

That makes him a progressive - which says more about the history of Republicans.

But even he became disgusted with the pro-corporatist bent of his own hand-picked successor, Taft, and ran against him as a progressive causing him to lose re-election.