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Stuff White People Like

If you are ever a white person?s house, and you see an orange box in their DVD collection, you should say ?oh, you have Arrested Development, I love that show!? To which you will be offered a glass of wine, and perhaps an invitation to 80s night.
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:laugh:
 
Originally posted by: MrChad
If you are ever a white person?s house, and you see an orange box in their DVD collection, you should say ?oh, you have Arrested Development, I love that show!? To which you will be offered a glass of wine, and perhaps an invitation to 80s night.
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:laugh:
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I don't see myself ever being a house for any person, regardless of their skin color.
 
One thing he'll have to cover in the future is White Weddings. I've only ever been to 3 weddings and the two white ones definitely had their own bland, subdued character - too-fancy banquet hall, not enough food, not enough drink, not enough music, not enough dancing, not enough crazyness...

I'll let my friends Gogol Bordello explain it in more detail 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GXqKW9R038
 
Having Two Last Names:

In recent years, white people love giving their children two last names. This is a direct result of white women thinking it?s sexist and outdated to take on their husband?s name. It is also sexist that the child would only carry the name of one parent, especially since the unnamed parent is the one who carried the child for nine months. The only logical solution is to give the kid a split last name. White people can?t get enough of it!

As a result we have children growing up named Elijah Sadler-Moore.

While it?s true that many Spanish speaking cultures do this, often times their names are crazy long but are often shortened into sweet one word nicknames like Pele. Also, there is a historical precedent.

Being a recent phenomenon, we have yet to see what happens when one split named person marries another split named person. Does their kid end up with four last names?

I have a feeling that College Lacrosse and Soccer Jerseys are going to look pretty strange in the next few years.
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Originally posted by: Martin
One thing he'll have to cover in the future is White Weddings. I've only ever been to 3 weddings and the two white ones definitely had their own bland, subdued character - too-fancy banquet hall, not enough food, not enough drink, not enough music, not enough dancing, not enough crazyness...

I'll let my friends Gogol Bordello explain it in more detail 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GXqKW9R038
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my sister's wedding was my favorite wedding I've been too. Rented beach house, barefoot wedding on the beach, more casual dress... and then it moved into the house from there. Our two families are both crazy and we had a damned good time. 🙂
my cousin that lives on a farm, his wedding was stuffy in a church, but as being farmers, the reception was hella fun. Drunkenness explains it all. Imagine a large reception, that had somewhere around 10 kegs and lots of wine. 😀
 
Gifted Children - I seriously LOL'd at this one:

White people love ?gifted? children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn?t that amazing?

I?m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it?s been a pretty sweet run.

The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as ?gifted? and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.

But wait, aren?t there white people who aren?t doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart?

Well, here is another one of those awesome white person win-win situations.

Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can?t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.

Eventually they will show their creativity in their elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge different kinds of mushrooms and hash.

This is important if you ever find yourself needing to gain white person acceptance. If you see their kid playing peacefully, you say ?oh, he/she seems very focused, are they in a gifted program?? at which point the parent will say ?yes.? Or if the kid is lighting a dog on fire while screaming at their mother, you say ?my he/she is a creative one. Is he/she gifted?? To which the parent will reply ?oh, yes, he?s too creative and smart for school. We just don?t know what to do.? Either situation will put a white person in a better mood and make them like you more.

But NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear.
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some of those are just fucking retarded but some are damned funny (white or black)
its a shame though... if I made the same thing for black people, I'd be tagged as racist.

 
#8: Barack Obama - Because white people are afraid that if they don?t like him that they will be called racist.
 
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