Study: Joys of Parenthood are Exaggerated

[JEDI]

http://healthland.time.com/2011/03/04/why-having-kids-is-foolish/?hpt=C2

it's cheaper to hire end-of-life care than to raise a child. Now comes new research showing that having kids is not only financially foolish but that kids literally make parents delusional.

parents fool themselves into believing that having kids is more rewarding than it actually is. It turns out parents are in the grip of a giant illusion.

Researchers have known for some time that parents with minors who live at home report feeling calm significantly less often than than people who don't live with young children. Parents are also angrier and more depressed than nonparents — and each additional child makes them even angrier. Couples who choose not to have kids also have better, more satisfying marriages than couples who have kids.

To you parents:
Ha Ha

/Nelson

 

[jlee]

Researchers have known for some time that parents with minors who live at home report feeling calm significantly less often than than people who don't live with young children.

lol, no shit

 

[Greenman]

They had to do a study to figure this out?

 

[Lifted]

"Keeping up with the Joneses"
"The grass is always greener"
"Everyone else is doing it"
"She told me she was on the pill"

It's called nature. Procreation comes right after food and shelter. Nobody said it would be enjoyable, and I think most people really hate it, yet put on the ultimate poker face as they can't admit to themselves, nevermind admitting to others, that they don't love the crying, shitting, money pit that will tie them down to for the next 20+ years.

 

[nanette1985]

Read the article. What a piece of cr*p that study is.

Besides, we all know that the real joy of parenthood is grandchildren

 

[Born2bwire]

Read the article. What a piece of cr*p that study is.

Besides, we all know that the real joy of parenthood is grandchildren

My Mom will be crying tears of joy the moment she hears that any of us have kids. Because at that moment she can watch from afar our kids put us through all the shit that we put her through. In fact, I can't help but imagine her rewarding her grandchildren for being outright terrors.

 

[nanette1985]

My Mom will be crying tears of joy the moment she hears that any of us have kids. Because at that moment she can watch from afar our kids put us through all the shit that we put her through. In fact, I can't help but imagine her rewarding her grandchildren for being outright terrors.

Exactly!

 

[tooriski]

I think I'm much more calmer than before I became a father. can't imagine life without my son.

 

[moshquerade]

To you parents:
Ha Ha

/Nelson

this is so fricking funny.

i give you the golden egg award. :thumbsup:

 

[coreyb]

theres good and bad to being a parent. just dont be one until you're ready.

 

[Eos]

I've always wondered how seeing that spawn walk or talk for the first time (it really does only happen once) outweighs months (years?) of losing sleep, and the mountains of worry that come along with a child.

No thanks.

 

[Soundmanred]

I think I'm much more calm than before I became a father. I can't imagine life without my son.

Same here (except I have a daughter).

 

[yhelothar]

None of this is surprising. But their conclusion that parents have less joy than non parents based off evidence that they have more anger, depression, and stress is a horrible conclusion.
Work hard.. play hard..
Sometimes the most rewarding experiences in life are the ones that took a lot of effort. No one said everything is easy.

 

[leeland]

I think I'm much more calmer than before I became a father. can't imagine life without my son.

Same here except I have 2 boys and a girl...

It is kind of funny how life goes after kids...

No time to yourself...
Wife is always tired...
Constantly tired...
Wife is always tired...
Always picking up and shutting off lights...
Wife is always tired...
Constantly waiting until things quite down...
Wife is always tired...
...
...
...
THEN
...
...
...
When you don't have the kids for a weekend you miss them like mad and can't wait to see them again...feeling guilty...worrying...

Rinse and repeat...

 

[bfdd]

uh... when we were hunter gatherers, we constantly offed babies and had abortions because babies held us back. we had to be very selective about when kids were to be had as they are expensive in time and resources to manage.

 

[PowerEngineer]

http://healthland.time.com/2011/03/04/why-having-kids-is-foolish/?hpt=C2



To MY parents:
Ha Ha

/Nelson

Fixed.

 

[mugs]

Really? Seems to me like everything about parenthood is exaggerated.

Disclosure: I'm not a parent, and clearly I couldn't possibly form a worthwhile opinion on parenthood from observation. Therefore it's a waste of your time to even read what I'm going to write. My wife and I do plan on having children, because frankly the world needs my genes to be passed on.

Hopefully that got rid of the delusional parents. It seems to me that the current generation of parents - my generation - greatly exaggerates how amazing parenthood is. They act like they're doing some great and wonderful nobel prize-worthy thing. And I think that has coincided with the rise of helicopter parents (heh, pun). And they make it seem as if being a stay-at-home parent is the hardest job in the world. Salary.com gets these people all worked up every year when they publish their estimate of how much a mother's services are work - by estimating how many hours a week a mother spends doing jobs that require post-graduate degrees or that they're simply unqualified for like CEO of a corporation. It's all nonsense.

The relationship between a parent and child is special, I get that. Being a parent is not special. To every generation until this one, being a parent was just something you did when you became an adult. It was no big deal, nothing to write home about. And for the last few generations, parents have been raising their kids while working. I would love to know how it could be so difficult to be a stay at home parent if people are doing that job on top of a regular 40+ hour a week job. And if it's so difficult, how do stay at home parents find so much time to post on Internet message boards? (You can feel free to point out my post count, but I've never claimed my life is difficult) They post on message boards as much as tech geeks - usually sites relating to coupons or "mommy" crap, and their usernames invariably contain the word "mom" and either the names of their children or at least the quantity they have, e.g. mommyOf2Boys or mommyOfJadenAndMorgan. That right there sums up the issue here - being a mother is their life, their identity.

I compare these people to my mom, who was awesome. She worked full time and went to college full time while raising three kids. But she never bragged about it, she never acted like her life was more difficult than it was, and she never acted like she was doing something amazing or extraordinary. She was just doing what adults do. (That's not to discount my father's contributions - he also went to college full time and worked full time while raising the three of us; that's another thing that annoys me about the current generation of mothers, they don't give the fathers any credit)

 

[MotionMan]

It may not be for everyone, but I always wanted to be a father and I could not imagine having as happy of a life without my kids.

MotionMan

 

[Dr. Zaus]

The premise of the argument is faulty on many levels:
1.) it assumes that there is some objective measure of "rewarding" that is measurable
2.) it assumes that the negative affective outcome of raising children is how that "reward" is measured


This is the stupidest social science I have ever read.. and I've read a lot of stuff, including European and 'international' journals.

No one said that raising children was EASY! But the cost in sanity is well worth having brought up someone that can contribute to society meaningfully.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Thank goodness the OP will never breed and pass on his dumbass genes.

 

[leeland]

Thank goodness the OP will never breed and pass on his dumbass genes.

Nah...to each their own...

I cal recall being younger and not having kids and having life by the ass....thinking when co-workers talked about their lives and how busy they were...laughing...being single...or a girlfriend...no cares

The transition was weird (for me at least)....

have 1 and your life turns upside down
have 2 and you think your life was so easy with 1
have 3 and you think WTF am I doing...

95% of the time you are stressed or running...
5% of the time you TOTALLY enjoy life (man vacation, boys night out)...

I would honestly say I wouldn't trade that 95% for the 5%.

I have 3 kids from ages 6 to 3 and watching them grow up is amazing...truly amazing. If you don't have kids of your own (PERSONALLY) I can't see how people who don't can understand...and that is coming from a cold hearted jerk....

 

[Dr. Zaus]

There's also a series of chemical reactions in our male-human brains that make us not want to eat our young.

 

[twinrider1]

...their conclusion that parents have less joy than non parents based off evidence that they have more anger, depression, and stress is a horrible conclusion...

Agreed. I know I'm not as calm now that I have kids. My radar is always on, listening for everything....too noisy, something's going on. Too quiet? Something's going on.
Higher highs, lower lows. Nothing compares to the love a parent feels for his child. And nothing feels worse than seeing your child sick and you can't fix it.

Then...When you don't have the kids for a weekend you miss them like mad and can't wait to see them again...feeling guilty...worrying...
Rinse and repeat...

Lol, ain't it the truth.

 

[lxskllr]

Having kids is great. You can't judge by other people's kids, because they aren't yours. I've never liked kids, and I still don't, but mine is great. The work isn't work. It's just something you do, and you're happy to do it. Anyone moaning about how hard it is to raise kids is just a wanker trying to glorify themselves(Eg all the Opra women). There's nothing hard about it, and you aren't special for doing your job. Quit plying for sympathy, and go make dinner :^D

 

[Dr. Zaus]

Having kids is great. You can't judge by other people's kids, because they aren't yours. I've never liked kids, and I still don't, but mine is great. The work isn't work. It's just something you do, and you're happy to do it. Anyone moaning about how hard it is to raise kids is just a wanker trying to glorify themselves(Eg all the Opra women). There's nothing hard about it, and you aren't special for doing your job. Quit plying for sympathy, and go make dinner :^D

I just offer mine a high-protean vitamin shake every 2 hours and then change their diapers before they get a rash.

I'll make dinner when they can form long-term memories to tell a psycho about.