Stool sample

[Qacer]

This is just a curiosity, and if you're eating your lunch, I suggest you come back later.

Recently, a doctor suggested that I submit some stool sample for some lab works. This was completely new to me. I've had urine samples before, but I never gave them $hit.

So, who has submitted stool samples before for medical purposes? And how did you get your stool in the cup?

Frankly, I'm still trying to figure out creative ways on how to get my stool in the cup. I could probably do it the same way as 2 girls 1 cup, but I would need to have another person to catch it, and I'm not quite comfortable with that. One practical way I thought of was to use a plastic bag to catch it in the same way I would collect my dog's poop, but then I realized that I would have to find a place to dump the plastic bag afterwards, and my garbage can is not the place for it.

 

[Modeps]

Seriously, what's wrong with you?

 

[jandrews]

its not very fun and very akward, usually involving putting saran wrap under the toilet seat and they give you these bottles with preservative in them and you literally have to scoop some up and put it in the jar, yeah not a good time not a good time, have fun.

 

[Anubis]

most people put dog poop in the trash, what is so diff about your poop

and yes seran on the toilet works well

 

[lozina]

Into a cup? They'd have to give a 5-gallon joint compound bucket

 

[interchange]

I have. The kit included a paper tray to catch the poop. It was kind of awkward getting a log in there, but hey you do what you gotta do. Seriously, just put the trash outside right after doing it. It won't attract bugs or stink up the outdoors.

 

[Qacer]

I've seen many medical questions here, so I'm assuming there are some medical students or MDs here. This is a serious question, and the cup they gave me is slightly smaller than the Chef Boyardee microwavable soup cans.

 

[cherrytwist]

I was given a plastic "hat" type thing to put in the toilet bowl and a wooden "sticks" to collect.

 

[Qacer]

Originally posted by: interchange
I have. The kit included a paper tray to catch the poop. It was kind of awkward getting a log in there, but hey you do what you gotta do. Seriously, just put the trash outside right after doing it. It won't attract bugs or stink up the outdoors.

I didn't get any paper kit. Just a cup. I think I'll buy some baking soda and dump it in the plastic bag afterwards.

 

[40Hands]

Originally posted by: Modeps
Seriously, what's wrong with you?

His doctor is asking for a stool sample to figure it out. Read!

 

[Platypus]

I had to do this a few years ago when I had some crazy stomach problem (and they never did find the problem).

Mine came with little vials with different liquids in it and you had to put some of the sample in the tubes.

Get one of those big gladware disposable containers and do it in there, then take popsicle sticks and take the sample.. then dump the rest into the bowl and flush.
Toss the plastic container and you're done.

 

[tfinch2]

Originally posted by: Qacer
I've seen many medical questions here, so I'm assuming there are some medical students or MDs here. This is a serious question, and the cup they gave me is slightly smaller than the Chef Boyardee microwavable soup cans.

1) Take a dump in a paper bag
2) Scoop some out and put it in the cup
3) Take the rest and set the bag on fire on someone's porch
4) Hilarity ensues
5) Profit

 

[blackdogdeek]

i just sat on the toilet, held the cup under my ass and pooped into it. i got some on my hand but then i washed it off.

 

[homercles337]

This thread is going places...

 

[skace]

Originally posted by: blackdogdeek
i just sat on the toilet, held the cup under my ass and pooped into it. i got some on my hand but then i washed it off.

What did you do with the cup full of poop?

 

[PottedMeat]

Originally posted by: skace

Originally posted by: blackdogdeek
i just sat on the toilet, held the cup under my ass and pooped into it. i got some on my hand but then i washed it off.

What did you do with the cup full of poop?

He diddn't mention a doctor, so I assume it was for fun. Stockpiling for a cleveland steamer?

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: skace

Originally posted by: blackdogdeek
i just sat on the toilet, held the cup under my ass and pooped into it. i got some on my hand but then i washed it off.

What did you do with the cup full of poop?

1 Blackdogdeek 1 cup...

 

[Canai]

WTF just shit in the cup. Is it that hard?

How big is your asshole? How big is the cup? Just go a little, squeeze it off, catch it in the cup, and you're set. It's not hard at all.

<--- was really sick last fall and had to submit many samples

 

[BigJ]

This is ridiculous. You're telling me that you couldn't find a way to catch your own crap in a cup?


You know what, head down to Home Depot. You know those 5 gallon orange paint buckets? Buy one of those. Also pick up a box of latex gloves and some putty knives. Next time you have to take a crap, squat over it and let loose. Put on the gloves and grab your putty knife. Cut a piece off that chocolate log, scoop it up, and put it in the cup.

 

[PottedMeat]

Submit a tootsie roll for epic lulz?

 

[moshquerade]

what are they testing you for?

 

[Qacer]

Originally posted by: BigJ
This is ridiculous. You're telling me that you couldn't find a way to catch your own crap in a cup?

Oh, I didn't say that. I had some ideas in my head, but I was trying to see others' experience. Really, my original idea involved catching it with a plastic bag, and then just squeeze it out like you would if you're putting icing on the cake. My goal is to find a way that is quick and less messy.

Originally posted by: moshquerade
what are they testing you for?

Some stomach virus that can potentially lead to stomach cancer.

 

[Xavier434]

Originally posted by: Qacer

So, who has submitted stool samples before for medical purposes? And how did you get your stool in the cup?

LOL this is why in America we have warning labels and instructions for EVERYTHING. :laugh:

 

[duragezic]

If you do the plastic bag thing and it's all full of a stinky ol' shit, put it in another bag and tie that one up, then do it again. That's what I do with stanky food or whatever if I'm not taking out the garbage right away.

That'd be weird to have to do. To have to catch your own massive, punishing shit, LOL.

 

[manowar821]

JUST MAKE POOPIES IN THE CUP. It's like you've never played with play-dough before, CHRIST!

Anyway, I hope you don't have stomach cancer, my friend of 16 years has had it his whole life, it's not fun...