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Some marriage and divorce statistics.

Safeway

Safeway

Lifer
  • ## The divorce rate is over 50%.
  • ## Currently, 95% of the population is married by age 55.
  • ## In 1970, only 72% of the population was married by age 55.
  • ## Life expectancy of a first marriage: 7 years, 8 months.
  • ## Life expectancy of a second marriage: 7 years, 4 months.

My S.O. and I have our wedding day set on our 10 year dating anniversary. I am hoping that such a long history puts me in the stays-together category. It is crazy to think that I have been dating her, which is 'less' commitment, for longer than most marriages last. We live together, shop together, eat together -- and are not sick of each other.

I don't know what the deal is with people marrying incompatible spouses. I see my sister doing that right now. She wants to marry a slimeball! She is extremely attractive, and her last boyfriend came from a mega-wealthy family (Read: $20+ million a year, owned oil fields and largest pottery company in the USA, McCoy Pottery.) This guy is a drunk, a smoker, and a loser. He is 10 years older than her and has a daughter from a failed first marriage. Yet she still wants to marry him. I smell divorce.

Edit: I've posted pictures of her in the past. No new ones. Sorry.
 
Just because you have been dating for 10 years doesnt put you any more into the "stay together" category than the next couple. Two cousins of mine married their respective HS sweethearts who they dated for 8+ years each, and both got divorced last year. One was married for 10 years (18 total years in the relationship), the other for 4 (14 total years in the relationship)

Shit happens dude, prior history has nothing to do with divorce.
 
Not to crap on your relationship, but marriage changes things. It's been studied over and over, but a long term "non-committed" relationship isn't a guarantee of a successful marriage. Who knows? It's all a crap shoot. You try to choose well, and hope for the best. Of course some people choose better than others :^D

Edit:
Ok, I saw the first typo, and ignored it, but now I see dropped words :^/
My writing has gone to hell lately. I think it's too much ATOT :^P
 
Dated my wife for about 10 months before we got married. It's been 13 years since. I'm the youngest in my family, and ironically I'm pretty sure only one of my (5) siblings has been married longer than we have. At least the first time around. 🙂
 
Originally posted by: akshatp
Just because you have been dating for 10 years doesnt put you any more into the "stay together" category than the next couple. Two cousins of mine married their respective HS sweethearts who they dated for 8+ years each, and both got divorced last year. One was married for 10 years (18 total years in the relationship), the other for 4 (14 total years in the relationship)

Shit happens dude, prior history has nothing to do with divorce.
Click to expand...

I disagree to an extent. While I do agree that shit happens and any couple can be divorced regardless of prior history, I do also think prior history can give certain couples a far, far better chance to succeed than others.
 
Looks like me and Mrs. rbV5 beat the odds soundly. Married 24 years in exactly 1 month :beer:

Congrats and good luck to you and the soon to be Mrs. Safeway :wine:
 
i dated my wife for 10 years before we were engaged. now we've been married for a few years and it seemed for us our relationship got better after the marriage. now we have a kid on the way and this will be our real test. good luck and congrats.
 
Originally posted by: Safeway
  • ## The divorce rate is over 50%.
  • ## Currently, 95% of the population is married by age 55.
  • ## In 1970, only 72% of the population was married by age 55.
  • ## Life expectancy of a first marriage: 7 years, 8 months.
  • ## Life expectancy of a second marriage: 7 years, 4 months.

My S.O. and I have our wedding day set on our 10 year dating anniversary. I am hoping that such a long history puts me in the stays-together category. It is crazy to think that I have been dating her, which is 'less' commitment, for longer than most marriages last. We live together, shop together, eat together -- and are not sick of each other.

I don't know what the deal is with people marrying incompatible spouses. I see my sister doing that right now. She wants to marry a slimeball! She is extremely attractive, and her last boyfriend came from a mega-wealthy family (Read: $20+ million a year, owned oil fields and largest pottery company in the USA, McCoy Pottery.) This guy is a drunk, a smoker, and a loser. He is 10 years older than her and has a daughter from a failed first marriage. Yet she still wants to marry him. I smell divorce.

Edit: I've posted pictures of her in the past. No new ones. Sorry.
Click to expand...

Post the old :camera:
 
Originally posted by: Safeway
  • ## The divorce rate is over 50%.
  • ## Currently, 95% of the population is married by age 55.
  • ## In 1970, only 72% of the population was married by age 55.
  • ## Life expectancy of a first marriage: 7 years, 8 months.
  • ## Life expectancy of a second marriage: 7 years, 4 months.
Click to expand...

Lies, damned lies, and statistics:

http://divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS2002.shtml

Median duration of first marriages that end in divorce:
Males: 7.8 years
Females: 7.9 years

Median duration of second marriages that end in divorce:
Males: 7.3 years
Females: 6.8 years
Click to expand...


Really, all this should be taken with a grain of salt.
 
also note that "50% of marriages end in divorce" is not the same thing as "50% of people getting married get divorced". a lot of the 50% are second, third, nth marriages from people who have already divorced once.

(there are also racial, economic, education breakdowns -- college-educated people are much less likely to get divorced than those less-educated, etc.)
 
Originally posted by: acheron
also note that "50% of marriages end in divorce" is not the same thing as "50% of people getting married get divorced". a lot of the 50% are second, third, nth marriages from people who have already divorced once.

(there are also racial, economic, education breakdowns -- college-educated people are much less likely to get divorced than those less-educated, etc.)
Click to expand...

Yeah, the stat sounds really bad until you realize its the same lie as the "average american credit card debt is 10K". There's probably a bunch of people that just suck at marriage who are dragging the stat up. Hell, I had a teacher in HS that had been married 5 fucking times! WTF, either try harder to get pickier next time!
 
Originally posted by: acheron
also note that "50% of marriages end in divorce" is not the same thing as "50% of people getting married get divorced". a lot of the 50% are second, third, nth marriages from people who have already divorced once.

(there are also racial, economic, education breakdowns -- college-educated people are much less likely to get divorced than those less-educated, etc.)
Click to expand...

Really? Care to back that statement up?
 
I can't possibly see how dating someone for 10 years before marriage is statistical plus. Did it take that long to move out of your mom's house or something? 😉

I'm not sure what's more discouraging about marriage...that 50% end in divorce, or 50% last forever.
 
Originally posted by: Dumac
Originally posted by: acheron
also note that "50% of marriages end in divorce" is not the same thing as "50% of people getting married get divorced". a lot of the 50% are second, third, nth marriages from people who have already divorced once.

(there are also racial, economic, education breakdowns -- college-educated people are much less likely to get divorced than those less-educated, etc.)
Click to expand...

Really? Care to back that statement up?
Click to expand...

just read it in a newspaper article (one printed on dead trees) last weekend. i'll see if i can find a link or something.
 
I know something that can guarantee you that you won't divorce. Don't get married. It's as simple as that. Since you're happy now, what makes you think you'll be happier with marriage?
 
Originally posted by: zerocool84
I know something that can guarantee you that you won't divorce. Don't get married. It's as simple as that. Since you're happy now, what makes you think you'll be happier with marriage?
Click to expand...

I want kids, and I want my kids to have my last name and married parents.
 
Originally posted by: Safeway
Originally posted by: zerocool84
I know something that can guarantee you that you won't divorce. Don't get married. It's as simple as that. Since you're happy now, what makes you think you'll be happier with marriage?
Click to expand...

I want kids, and I want my kids to have my last name and married parents.
Click to expand...

You can do all without getting married, excluding the last bit obviously.

There really isn't any purpose to marriage excluding religious reasons and self-jacking.

If anything, people need to look at it as a financial contract, but most don't.
 
Here is my advice.

make sure you see eye to eye exactly on these items:
Money/spending
# of children
How to raise children

And marrying any person that can't discuss issues rationally and make decisions on logical assessments will doom the married in my book.
 
Originally posted by: Safeway
  • ## The divorce rate is over 50%.
  • ## Currently, 95% of the population is married by age 55.
  • ## In 1970, only 72% of the population was married by age 55.
  • ## Life expectancy of a first marriage: 7 years, 8 months.
  • ## Life expectancy of a second marriage: 7 years, 4 months.

My S.O. and I have our wedding day set on our 10 year dating anniversary. I am hoping that such a long history puts me in the stays-together category. It is crazy to think that I have been dating her, which is 'less' commitment, for longer than most marriages last. We live together, shop together, eat together -- and are not sick of each other.

I don't know what the deal is with people marrying incompatible spouses. I see my sister doing that right now. She wants to marry a slimeball! She is extremely attractive, and her last boyfriend came from a mega-wealthy family (Read: $20+ million a year, owned oil fields and largest pottery company in the USA, McCoy Pottery.) This guy is a drunk, a smoker, and a loser. He is 10 years older than her and has a daughter from a failed first marriage. Yet she still wants to marry him. I smell divorce.

Edit: I've posted pictures of her in the past. No new ones. Sorry.
Click to expand...

She wouldn't marry him if she thought they were incompatible.
 
Originally posted by: Codewiz
Here is my advice.

make sure you see eye to eye exactly on these items:
Money/spending
# of children
How to raise children

And marrying any person that can't discuss issues rationally and make decisions on logical assessments will doom the married in my book.
Click to expand...

Well, I guess we'll have to legalize gay marriage, because you just described all women.

(I kid)

I'm glad my SO is logical, more so than me probably.
 
Originally posted by: akshatp
Just because you have been dating for 10 years doesnt put you any more into the "stay together" category than the next couple. Two cousins of mine married their respective HS sweethearts who they dated for 8+ years each, and both got divorced last year. One was married for 10 years (18 total years in the relationship), the other for 4 (14 total years in the relationship)

Shit happens dude, prior history has nothing to do with divorce.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't say that just because you know a couple people. Prior history helps - a lot. People marry and jump into a house together without sharing finances, living space, etc. and those are major factors. If you're familiar with the other person's tendencies, then you know what you're getting into and can compensate or compromise. You expect it going into marriage. How does that not help or have nothing to do with divorce? The people who can't compromise or give up all their current freedoms are the ones who semi-jokingly wish to remain single for as long as possible.

Another factor is the whole cheating thing of course, which is another story... something nobody can really help, regardless of history.
 
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