Social anxiety disorder or do I just hate people?

[ahenkel]

I don't think only hanging out with a few select people is a bad thing at all. They know me and I know them. We share the same tastes. Have the same inside jokes. Its comfortable and I see little reason to try and be Mr. Popualarity

 

[Platypus]

I'm fine either way though I'm an introverted person by nature so I like to have my alone time. It's hard for some people to accept that sometimes you'd just rather be alone and it's not for any depressing reason. I have a healthy balance of both most of the time.

 

[SunnyD]

OP sounds like me.
Most people annoy me. I'll help a friend if they genuinely need it but I am not big on socializing. You could plant me in the middle of 1000 acres with my toys and I would never need to see another person. My wife on the other hand needs people around and needs to socialize.
People will always let you down.

This is far too scary. I categorize myself exactly as olds does.

Except I don't have a basement with lots of leather and chains.

 

[slackerinabox]

This describes me so well, other than the whole being married part. I almost want to try the medications you describe to see how my life is actually caring about being parts of big groups and meeting new people.

I wouldn't have met my wife if it wasn't for Lexapro... And the mistakes and over indulgences (I currently overthink everything but, while medicated, I didn't think things through enough) were quite embarrassing in retrospect, but I'm glad I lived through it...

Funny thing is, my wife was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder as well and is just as big of a loner as I am, but she feels guilty about it more than I do.

 

[LinuxIdiot]

I wouldn't have met my wife if it wasn't for Lexapro... And the mistakes and over indulgences (I currently overthink everything but, while medicated, I didn't think things through enough) were quite embarrassing in retrospect, but I'm glad I lived through it...

Funny thing is, my wife was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder as well and is just as big of a loner as I am, but she feels guilty about it more than I do.

Funny, I feel like I never think anything through enough, while I have a room-mate and a friend who constantly annoy me with their over thinking on how to respond to a guy's text msg of, "what's up?", trying to be witty and indifferent at the same time.

 

[BoberFett]

Meh, most people aren't worth knowing. I think reality TV has made the average idiot think that having a bunch of drama in their life is a good thing. Fuck drama queens. My wife and I have a couple of close friends, other than that we have no interest in socializing with other people.

 

[slackerinabox]

I personally think people who are major social are way to needy and dependent. And have way more issues. Yet it's us independent self sufficient ones that are looked at like WE have the problem. Pfff please.

I know how to be social and what people like. It's just I don't care so much and it's way more hassle and drama than it's worth. I find happiness in SOME socializing. But I like doing other things in nature, gardening, hikes, exploring, painting, photography, computers, playing a game etc. I guess I like to live in my own little Kingdom and paradise. Bring to many other people in and they leave trash, make noise, cause problems.

And with me I usually don't like pointless, breath wasting, shallow chitchat. I get sick of those one liner jokes that come one after another that most people do. Come on give me something with a little depth to talk about please. You bring up anything serious or real and they look at you like "what the hell, can't compute!" But I know you do have to keep it shallow and fun at times, I'll admit I could work on that a little more at least (but I am fun when I want to be or need to be).

Agreed.. I used to be flaked on and wonder about my own self worth. I used to do so much shit for other people, yet few returned any favors. I'd rather have my space.. Sure, guitar hero with someone other than my wife would be fun once in a while, but I can get over that..

 

[drum]

I would just rather not be around people. All I need is a computer, internet access, and some beer and i'm all set.

 

[slackerinabox]

Funny, I feel like I never think anything through enough, while I have a room-mate and a friend who constantly annoy me with their over thinking on how to respond to a guy's text msg of, "what's up?", trying to be witty and indifferent at the same time.

Well, I overthink everything - from purchases to what I want to watch on TV. But that's harmless... While I was medicated I would just be way too spontaneous. Driving 300 miles for Clam Chowder - sure! Inhale this mysterious white substance? Sure! It was stupid and I don't miss being that of the moment.

 

[ahenkel]

seems appropriate

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvM-WQP7SOw

 

[CRXican]

in on this "crew"

I don't mind going out to dinner with a couple friends or hitting a bar with a good friend but I don't get the people that need to have a huge circle of friends just to have them.

A friend of a friend I know seems to know everybody and their mother. If I go to a party held by them I'm always seeing new faces and wonder what's the point of pretending to be happy to see these people you hardly ever see?

 

[slackerinabox]

seems appropriate

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvM-WQP7SOw

Hah - awesome.

Though I don't really hate people.I don't wish anyone any harm, I just don't really know what to say when people talk about music they like. Is this a pissing contest now? Should I make up band names? Are we 15? Politics? Seriously, this is NYC - how is this going to lead to a discussion, we're all liberals! That guy you met at the bar not call you back? Of course he didn't, you fucked him on your first date! Argh..I JUST DON'T CARE, and pretending to care is condescending and dishonest.

 

[slackerinabox]

in on this "crew"

I don't mind going out to dinner with a couple friends or hitting a bar with a good friend but I don't get the people that need to have a huge circle of friends just to have them.

A friend of a friend I know seems to know everybody and their mother. If I go to a party held by them I'm always seeing new faces and wonder what's the point of pretending to be happy to see these people you hardly ever see?

Yes, and those motherfuckers who always have 300 girls on their shoulders? They're broke! Or their mom still pays their cable bill.

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

I personally think people who are major social are way to needy and dependent. And have way more issues. Yet it's us independent self sufficient ones that are looked at like WE have the problem. Pfff please.

I know how to be social and what people like. It's just I don't care so much and it's way more hassle and drama than it's worth. I find happiness in SOME socializing. But I like doing other things in nature, gardening, hikes, exploring, painting, photography, computers, playing a game etc. I guess I like to live in my own little Kingdom and paradise. Bring to many other people in and they leave trash, make noise, cause problems.

And with me I usually don't like pointless, breath wasting, shallow chitchat. I get sick of those one liner jokes that come one after another that most people do. Come on give me something with a little depth to talk about please. You bring up anything serious or real and they look at you like "what the hell, can't compute!" But I know you do have to keep it shallow and fun at times, I'll admit I could work on that a little more at least (but I am fun when I want to be or need to be).

Well said, I totally agree. I have some friends who are party animals, but I find the whole thing kind of shallow - there are rarely any real connections made at such get-togethers; it's just a bunch of drunken stupidity that nobody remembers later/pretends not to. I have my own ways of relieving stress. If a similar personality would like to join me in some of the stuff I like, it's a plus - but anyone who wants to tear me away from my passions is not welcome.

And I agree - people who are into the whole shallow socializing thing tend to have a lot of problems, often stemming from insecurity and self-esteem issues.

 

[mesthead21]

Agreed.. I used to be flaked on and wonder about my own self worth. I used to do so much shit for other people, yet few returned any favors. I'd rather have my space.. Sure, guitar hero with someone other than my wife would be fun once in a while, but I can get over that..

wow, this is how i feel x100. I'd much rather hang out with 2-3 really good friends and drink than go out to a bar/party

 

[Albatross]

ever taken meyer -briggs test?you might be an INTJ.

 

[slackerinabox]

wow, this is how i feel x100. I'd much rather hang out with 2-3 really good friends and drink than go out to a bar/party

Indeed... What sucks is that I lost touch with so many people because I was too busy getting wasted and dancing until 4 am, things my good friends rightfully found boring.

Seriously, my 20s has been a roller coaster of extremes, but it makes me hopeful for my 30s (at least I now know I don't need so many people)

 

[lyssword]

When you are not around people your brain adjusts to be happy without them. If you start hanging around more people then your brain will adjust as well. So it's pretty natural that if you don't hang around people you stop really giving a crap about them.

 

[slackerinabox]

ever taken meyer -briggs test?you might be an INTJ.

Years ago, don't remember what I was labeled.

 

[slackerinabox]

When you are not around people your brain adjusts to be happy without them. If you start hanging around more people then your brain will adjust as well. So it's pretty natural that if you don't hang around people you stop really giving a crap about them.

I don't know if that's true. We get invited out to a fairly annoying degree (that sounds awful). We go because we feel obligated, and end up sticking to ourselves. We still see people, I just have no desire to most of the time.

 

[holden j caufield]

we should start an ATOT loners crew

oh the irony, isn't this an oxymoron. But ATOT loners is like saying loners loners.

 

[JohnCU]

oh the irony, isn't this an oxymoron. But ATOT loners is like saying loners loners.

that's what i was going for :sneaky:

 

[weflyhigh]

You guys are all weird

 

[masterxfob]

i tend to dislike most people. hate is too strong a word for the masses and is better reserved for those you truly have something against.

however, i'm always a bit happier and kinder during the month of december. there's something about christmas music that puts a smile on my face.

 

[slackerinabox]

i tend to dislike most people. hate is too strong a word for the masses and is better reserved for those you truly have something against.

however, i'm always a bit happier and kinder during the month of december. there's something about christmas music that puts a smile on my face.

Hah - oddly, Christmas parties cause me so much anxiety that I'd rather stay in, watch "Its a Wonderful Life" and drink egg nog. Though I do like shopping for people, and don't really like asking for gifts.