I know I want to hear it all, but for the sake of you, your home and your children, do not do anything else until you retain a lawyer. Don't talk to her, don't do a dang thing. Who knows what she'll try to do next, and she sounds like she's willing to go for your throat.
Raizinman
Platinum Member
Here is what will happen:
You will both get lawyers, spend about 10 to 15 grand each go to court only to find out women win 90% of the time. If you are lucky, you won't have to pay her attorney fees.
Sorry dude, welcome to the club. Next time don't listen to Dave Ramsey and become debt free. She would not have dumped you if you were making payments on a house.
You will both get lawyers, spend about 10 to 15 grand each go to court only to find out women win 90% of the time. If you are lucky, you won't have to pay her attorney fees.
Sorry dude, welcome to the club. Next time don't listen to Dave Ramsey and become debt free. She would not have dumped you if you were making payments on a house.
Remember you are now at war. expect and try to prepare for the worse things she will be throwing at you
Telling her you talked to a lawyer was a very bad move. This probably already set you back another 10 steps in an already uphill battle, you better hope she doesn't file divorce before you do(hello Mr. defendent), if so expect restraining orders and such (hopefully not but it seems like she planned this divorce well before and baited you, so expect the worst)
like others have mentioned, DO NOT move out of the house unless a court orders you to, and for the 100x time, SEEK COUNSEL!!!! talk to all the best ones you can find asap, a father friendly one, don't be afraid to change lawyers or get 2nd opinions
document everything, keep a detailed journal immediately and all of it secure in an off site location (nobody but you and your lawyer should know about this), start gathering any incriminating information on her and protecting any that might be on yourself, go to 007 mode. Start doing more stuff together with your kids, get involved with parental networks, witnesses that can say you are a superdad, you need witnesses, alot, preferably professionals (schools/parental related/medical). If a custody fight comes your way, you need to be prepared the show/prove that you are the greatest dad in the world. At the same time building your case to show any patterned behavior that shows her to be an unfit mother in any way.
Again repeating what SludgeFactory said, stop showing her your cards. Go through everyday like nothing is going on, don't let her even think about you planning anything(probably too late since you told her about the lawyer part). Do not get into arguments or fights of any kind, record conversation when/if possible. This is not a time to be nice, you will get screwed if you do.
Try not to be alone with her at any time, she can stab your back at any time when there's the smallest opening (domestic violence charges/restraining orders) Do not make any "deals" with her even if it seems like in your favor. do NOT give or sign anything to her
again document everything, and store any documents like bank statements, tax returns, stock portfolio info, etc etc away in a safe location. change the passwords on everything. becareful on anything "joint" (credit cards, bank accounts, car/medical insurances etc etc)
get rid of any evidence that you've posted this thread, get this deleted if that's possible. get counsel, gear up and prepare to fight dirty for yourself and for your kids, G'luck
friend of mine been through this, not pretty... ( all the steps of "lets settle this without a lawyer" etc etc)
Telling her you talked to a lawyer was a very bad move. This probably already set you back another 10 steps in an already uphill battle, you better hope she doesn't file divorce before you do(hello Mr. defendent), if so expect restraining orders and such (hopefully not but it seems like she planned this divorce well before and baited you, so expect the worst)
like others have mentioned, DO NOT move out of the house unless a court orders you to, and for the 100x time, SEEK COUNSEL!!!! talk to all the best ones you can find asap, a father friendly one, don't be afraid to change lawyers or get 2nd opinions
document everything, keep a detailed journal immediately and all of it secure in an off site location (nobody but you and your lawyer should know about this), start gathering any incriminating information on her and protecting any that might be on yourself, go to 007 mode. Start doing more stuff together with your kids, get involved with parental networks, witnesses that can say you are a superdad, you need witnesses, alot, preferably professionals (schools/parental related/medical). If a custody fight comes your way, you need to be prepared the show/prove that you are the greatest dad in the world. At the same time building your case to show any patterned behavior that shows her to be an unfit mother in any way.
Again repeating what SludgeFactory said, stop showing her your cards. Go through everyday like nothing is going on, don't let her even think about you planning anything(probably too late since you told her about the lawyer part). Do not get into arguments or fights of any kind, record conversation when/if possible. This is not a time to be nice, you will get screwed if you do.
Try not to be alone with her at any time, she can stab your back at any time when there's the smallest opening (domestic violence charges/restraining orders) Do not make any "deals" with her even if it seems like in your favor. do NOT give or sign anything to her
again document everything, and store any documents like bank statements, tax returns, stock portfolio info, etc etc away in a safe location. change the passwords on everything. becareful on anything "joint" (credit cards, bank accounts, car/medical insurances etc etc)
get rid of any evidence that you've posted this thread, get this deleted if that's possible. get counsel, gear up and prepare to fight dirty for yourself and for your kids, G'luck
friend of mine been through this, not pretty... ( all the steps of "lets settle this without a lawyer" etc etc)
zinfamous
No Lifer
- Jul 12, 2006
- 111,686
- 31,023
- 146
Originally posted by: dartworth
this...don't give her shit
she won't hesitate to stick it in your ass...seen it happen many times
:thumbsup:
wondering what else lays beneath this story. sounds very....premeditated on her part. Considering her mom did this too. You wouldn't happen to be married to Jennifer Love Hewitt, would you? and her mother is maybe Sigourney Weaver?
hmmm...
Big mistake. Do not move.
Let her move.
The court system frowns on the one that makes the first move out no matter what.
I normally don't agree with anything by this guy but listen here.
DO NOT MOVE and never let up.
You have to find the best hard nose lawyer and never listen to the bitch again.
meltdown75
Lifer
- Nov 17, 2004
- 37,548
- 7
- 81
OP, i'm sorry to hear this. good luck to you. if you need someone to talk to via PM, i'm here for ya. separated in April, kept my house (bought my wife's share), divorce will be final in February. it's a long and crazy ride - if you need a friend, i'm here.
alkemyst
No Lifer
- Feb 13, 2001
- 83,769
- 19
- 81
lawyer can make a lot of promises, the courts will be the final decider.
Chances are your lawyer is hoping for arbitration where anything can go...if she is doing what you say chances are also her lawyer will want at least half off all assets and/or push for a court hearing.
Chances are your lawyer is hoping for arbitration where anything can go...if she is doing what you say chances are also her lawyer will want at least half off all assets and/or push for a court hearing.
Originally posted by: dartworth
this...don't give her shit
she won't hesitate to stick it in your ass...seen it happen many times
x2
surfsatwerk
Lifer
- Mar 6, 2008
- 10,110
- 5
- 81
Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus
Originally posted by: dartworth
this...don't give her shit
she won't hesitate to stick it in your ass...seen it happen many times
x2
x3
The Boston Dangler
Lifer
- Mar 10, 2005
- 14,647
- 2
- 0
OILFIELDTRASH
Lifer
- May 13, 2009
- 12,333
- 612
- 126
Damn! I wonder why she was so hateful? Was it just her or was the OP an abusive husband? If I were a woman and I had a husband that came home and beat the piss out of me I would of done the same thing. Maybe she is just a cold hearted bitch that is running off with the pool boy?
meltdown75
Lifer
- Nov 17, 2004
- 37,548
- 7
- 81
varies largely from couple to couple / person to person. such questions, you really have to ask yourself - are they even worth asking? yet i realize your question is rhetorical and not really deserving an honest answer but i'll try.
for me, marriage represented my commitment to one person for the rest of my life. i wanted to have kids and wanted the whole dream and have my children grow up in a home where their parents were happily married. it also was to make my SO happy, since she wanted it very very badly and thought it was the next step for us.
i can say now with certainty that pretty much everything about my marriage was to make my SO happy. hardly anything had to do with me and what actually makes ME happy. i used to get my happiness through making someone else happy, and it was just the next thing i had to do so shut her the fuck up and stop nagging.
sourceninja
Diamond Member
- Mar 8, 2005
- 8,805
- 65
- 91
She's going to sell your house, move and take your kids. You are going to pay tons of cash and maybe see them once a year if you are lucky. Just realize that now and start fighting.
Well if you want kids, then being married(or committed long term) makes the most sense.
I came from a single parent home. My mom divorced my father when I was less than 1yr old.
I saw the struggles she went through. She made a living on 16K a year and gave me pretty much anything I could have asked for. However it wasn't easy on her.
I am now 31 and my wife is 29. We just had our first child. I can't imagine how my mom managed. Having both parents just makes life so much easier and better for the child.
This is not to suggest that all two parent homes are better than single parent homes. The point is that the best two parent homes will always be superior than the best single parent homes.
So if you want to have children, then being married or committed makes the most sense. Now if you never want children then I see very little benefit.
K1052
Elite Member
- Aug 21, 2003
- 51,678
- 44,332
- 136
Time to go to DEFCON 1 and retain the best counsel available. Your formerly loving spouse has now revealed her true nature as a grasping, gold digging bitch and is now your implacable enemy bent on your financial and emotional destruction
Do not move out of the house under ANY circumstances.
Do not move out of the house under ANY circumstances.
meltdown75
Lifer
- Nov 17, 2004
- 37,548
- 7
- 81
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