so i got accused of writing a "rude and mean" email.

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K

kumanchu

Golden Member
Feb 15, 2000
1,471
4
81
There are a couple things that I would like to get off of my chest.

1.) Transparency
Transparency is necessary when running APALSA. Though voting anonymously
might make people feel more comfortable, in all reality it isn't anonymous
since you know who is voting what. Transparency is necessary to keep things
clean. You also didn't include Dan in the voting, and he had no idea that
it was happening. This is not good. He is still a board member and all
voting includes all board members.

2.) The importance of facilitating a smooth transition from this year's
board to next year's board.
I respect and appreciate the fact that you are the incomming president.
However, I have been contacted by other board member's and an important
alumna over the weekend regarding the topic of last weeks vote. Because of
this, I am becoming concerned. We need open communication, and shared
decision making among the board members (while at the same time, we should
respect the board's hierarchy and job descriptions). As this year's
president, it is my duty to guide our organization through this transition
period. I've tried my best to keep an open mind and open channel of
communication. However, both Dan and I are beginning to feel alienated and
disrespected. Dan alone is an important part of our organization, and a
future alumnus. We should really should maintain an amicable relationship
with him.

The bottom line:
The vote: I feel that the vote should not have gone through you, and we
should encourage clear and positive communication within our board. I am
going to write an email out to ALL MEMBERS (dan included). A quorum has not
been reached and there are issues that need to be discussed..

-kumanchu
Click to expand...

*fixed the quote tags (w00t)
*added poll (double w00t?)

*update*
i think i'm just going to let this blow over. i'm not one for drama, or for people that have a tendancy to be passive agressive.

i haven't responded to her email (that she sent yesterday about "not minding rescheduling"). i think i'll leave it be until she says she wants to talk to me.
 
LordMaul

LordMaul

Lifer
Nov 16, 2000
15,168
1
0
Sounds rather straightforward and informative regarding your opinion and what needs to/should have been done. Grammar/spelling errors aside, it could have been much worse, but if you made it any more lenient, your concern might not have been put across sufficiently.

/thread?
 
T

TBone48

Platinum Member
Feb 23, 2005
2,431
0
0
I didn't see anything wrong with it. Maybe the recipient is an over-sensitive crybaby?
 
L

lytalbayre

Senior member
Apr 28, 2005
842
2
81
It's blunt... not rude or mean. It cannot be contrived as anything but business. However, from a social standpoint, you probably could've used some wording that would have aided in increasing the receptiveness and decreasing the defensiveness of the recipient. This would have benefitted you both.
 
Y

yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
2
81
Originally posted by: ActuaryTm
Exactly how long have you and Dan been sleeping together?
Click to expand...

lol. The email is fine. It could have been softer, but it certainly didn't have to be.
 
G

Garet Jax

Diamond Member
Feb 21, 2000
6,369
0
71
Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
You're in the clear. There's no soft way to say those sorts of things.

ZV
Click to expand...

Agreed, but maybe email isn't the way to send it.

I don't think it is bad, but email is not a good mechanism to communicate anything even remotely contentious.
 
cKGunslinger

cKGunslinger

Lifer
Nov 29, 1999
16,408
57
91
Originally posted by: kumanchu
There are a couple things that I would like to get off of my chest.

1.) Transparency
Transparency is necessary when running APALSA. Though voting anonymously
might make people feel more comfortable, in all reality it isn't anonymous
since you know who is voting what. Transparency is necessary to keep things
clean. You also didn't include Dan in the voting, and he had no idea that
it was happening. This is not good. He is still a board member and all
voting includes all board members.

2.) The importance of facilitating a smooth transition from this year's
board to next year's board.
I respect and appreciate the fact that you are the incomming president.
However, I have been contacted by other board member's and an important
alumna over the weekend regarding the topic of last weeks vote. Because of
this, I am becoming concerned. We need open communication, and shared
decision making among the board members (while at the same time, we should
respect the board's hierarchy and job descriptions). As this year's
president, it is my duty to guide our organization through this transition
period. I've tried my best to keep an open mind and open channel of
communication. However, both Dan and I are beginning to feel alienated and
disrespected. Dan alone is an important part of our organization, and a
future alumnus. We should really should maintain an amicable relationship
with him.

The bottom line:
The vote: I feel that the vote should not have gone through you, and we
should encourage clear and positive communication within our board. I am
going to write an email out to ALL MEMBERS (dan included). A quorum has not
been reached and there are issues that need to be discussed..

-kumanchu
Click to expand...

*fixed the quote tags (w00t)
*added poll (double w00t?)
Click to expand...

Typos and misspellings bolded for you.
 
H

HN

Diamond Member
Jan 19, 2001
8,186
4
0
Originally posted by: cKGunslinger
Originally posted by: kumanchu
However, I have been contacted by other board member's and an important
alumna over the weekend regarding the topic of last weeks vote.
Click to expand...

*fixed the quote tags (w00t)
*added poll (double w00t?)
Click to expand...

Typos and misspellings bolded for you.
Click to expand...
I was more amused by the flip flopped apostrophes. :D
Regarding the e-mail itself, it's fine, some people just can't handle the truth and want everything sugar coated. Any chance we can get the "rude and mean" accusation e-mail?
 
C

cessna152

Golden Member
Feb 10, 2002
1,009
0
0
Originally posted by: Garet Jax
Originally posted by: Zenmervolt
You're in the clear. There's no soft way to say those sorts of things.

ZV
Click to expand...

Agreed, but maybe email isn't the way to send it.

I don't think it is bad, but email is not a good mechanism to communicate anything even remotely contentious.
Click to expand...

My boss has always told me that if you are giving someone bad news or even slight criticism, you should always do it in person. Its only polite to tell a someone something like that in person. Even calling them over the phone is a better idea. Granted, you aren't in the wrong; but, its just nicer to do stuff like this in person. :)

Also, there is no paper trail. Anything you say in person cannot really come back to bite you in the butt. Its your word vs his.
 
K

kumanchu

Golden Member
Feb 15, 2000
1,471
4
81
ok so i am the suck at spelling and grammar. my emails tend to be written off the top of my head and unedited.

in anycase, i had a meeting scheduled with the recipient. she said that she doesn't want to talk to me if i'm going to be rude and mean like i was in this email. she sent me an email at the time we were supposed to meet and i thought it was sort of amusing.

if it is going to be anything like the mean and rude email you sent me
Click to expand...

she sent me an email asking me if i wanted to reschedule earlier in the day. i said no, because i have a pretty full schedule and i already made this time to meet with her. she emails me at the time we are supposed to meet (exactly) saying she wouldn't mind rescheduling and that she doesn't want to meet if i'm going to be "mean and rude".

i was confused about the mean and rude part, since i didn't think i was being either. i attend DePaul University College of Law for those that were wondering.
 
H

HN

Diamond Member
Jan 19, 2001
8,186
4
0
Originally posted by: kumanchu
ok so i am the suck at spelling and grammar. my emails tend to be written off the top of my head and unedited.

in anycase, i had a meeting scheduled with the recipient. she said that she doesn't want to talk to me if i'm going to be rude and mean like i was in this email. she sent me an email at the time we were supposed to meet and i thought it was sort of amusing.

if it is going to be anything like the mean and rude email you sent me
Click to expand...

she sent me an email asking me if i wanted to reschedule earlier in the day. i said no, because i have a pretty full schedule and i already made this time to meet with her. she emails me at the time we are supposed to meet (exactly) saying she wouldn't mind rescheduling and that she doesn't want to meet if i'm going to be "mean and rude".

i was confused about the mean and rude part, since i didn't think i was being either. i attend DePaul University College of Law for those that were wondering.
Click to expand...

"mean and rude" is the new "shock and awe"
 
KLin

KLin

Lifer
Feb 29, 2000
30,299
626
126
Originally posted by: kumanchu
ok so i am the suck at spelling and grammar. my emails tend to be written off the top of my head and unedited.

in anycase, i had a meeting scheduled with the recipient. she said that she doesn't want to talk to me if i'm going to be rude and mean like i was in this email. she sent me an email at the time we were supposed to meet and i thought it was sort of amusing.

if it is going to be anything like the mean and rude email you sent me
Click to expand...

she sent me an email asking me if i wanted to reschedule earlier in the day. i said no, because i have a pretty full schedule and i already made this time to meet with her. she emails me at the time we are supposed to meet (exactly) saying she wouldn't mind rescheduling and that she doesn't want to meet if i'm going to be "mean and rude".

i was confused about the mean and rude part, since i didn't think i was being either. i attend DePaul University College of Law for those that were wondering.
Click to expand...


I think you need to show this person how mean and rude you really can be. :p
 
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