Sister was told her shirt was too revealing at work

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NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
Originally posted by: sygyzy
The same people that are saying this guy is overreacting would be the same people upset if they had a complaint filed against *them* for looking at a woman at work. It's funny how we can play both sides.

:beer:
 

DWW

Platinum Member
Apr 4, 2003
2,030
0
0
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: DWW
My sister works at an office job. She wears business-like attire for women. Well today she got a memo and complaint filed against her that her shirt was too revealing. It wasn't a plunging v-neck or anything. It just looks like a wider neck shirt but by no means you see any skin when she is standing upright. My sister had to bend over and put something on guy's desk and he filed a complaint that he could see her bra when he looked into it. Well DUH. Unless a woman is wearing a burqa or a turtleneck (sp?) of course you can see her bra if she bends over.

WTF? Who (especially a guy) would complain about that anyways... god people have nothing else better to do. Now she is all upset about it.

I would. That kind of clothing simply isn't appropriate for work. There are plenty of tops out there that are not revealing even if you bend over.

Wait, bend over to put something on someone else's desk?? Nobody bends over to simply put something on a guy's desk. Reach down, sure. But bend over? What, does this guy use the floor for his desk?

So turtlenecks all year round, right?

EVERY shirt that has some sort of a neck on it can be revealing if you look at it from a certain angle and hard enough. That is what this "guy" had to do.
 

Fausto

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2000
26,521
2
0
Originally posted by: DWW
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: DWW
My sister works at an office job. She wears business-like attire for women. Well today she got a memo and complaint filed against her that her shirt was too revealing. It wasn't a plunging v-neck or anything. It just looks like a wider neck shirt but by no means you see any skin when she is standing upright. My sister had to bend over and put something on guy's desk and he filed a complaint that he could see her bra when he looked into it. Well DUH. Unless a woman is wearing a burqa or a turtleneck (sp?) of course you can see her bra if she bends over.

WTF? Who (especially a guy) would complain about that anyways... god people have nothing else better to do. Now she is all upset about it.

I would. That kind of clothing simply isn't appropriate for work. There are plenty of tops out there that are not revealing even if you bend over.

Wait, bend over to put something on someone else's desk?? Nobody bends over to simply put something on a guy's desk. Reach down, sure. But bend over? What, does this guy use the floor for his desk?

So turtlenecks all year round, right?

EVERY shirt that has some sort of a neck on it can be revealing if you look at it from a certain angle and hard enough. That is what this "guy" had to do.
Exactly, which is why I think he's totally overreacting.
 

IHYLN

Banned
Aug 4, 2000
1,519
0
0
women do a better job suing their employers over sexual harassment than at their own jobs sadly enough.
 

OrByte

Diamond Member
Jul 21, 2000
9,303
144
106
Originally posted by: RagingBITCH
Originally posted by: OrByte
Originally posted by: spidey07
Originally posted by: RagingBITCH
Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude
lol, your sister should start documenting this crap, because that sounds like a load of BS.



sounds like that guy is a real jerk, and the management structure must be of similar ilk to have said anything to your sister.

Management is covering their ass, how are they "ilk"?

Exactly - they did what the text books say to do. Any complaint must be taken seriously with written notice to the offender. The document trail has been started.


Document trail exactly!

if she doesn't make a statement, well that kind of implies guilt...at least to future employers.

imo.

What the hell are you talking about? She received a complaint - that doesn't obligate her to rebute the claim or otherwise say anything against it.

if it goes into a employement file then she would be careless to not explain her side of the story.

and as I understand these complaints, they dont just hand them out to you, if she was written up she had to sign off on it, which gives her the opportunity for a rebuttal.
 

Ladies Man

Platinum Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,775
0
76
the solution is very simple
she bent one way and he saw bra, so for now on she should never wear a bra
 

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
Originally posted by: DWW
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: DWW
My sister works at an office job. She wears business-like attire for women. Well today she got a memo and complaint filed against her that her shirt was too revealing. It wasn't a plunging v-neck or anything. It just looks like a wider neck shirt but by no means you see any skin when she is standing upright. My sister had to bend over and put something on guy's desk and he filed a complaint that he could see her bra when he looked into it. Well DUH. Unless a woman is wearing a burqa or a turtleneck (sp?) of course you can see her bra if she bends over.

WTF? Who (especially a guy) would complain about that anyways... god people have nothing else better to do. Now she is all upset about it.

I would. That kind of clothing simply isn't appropriate for work. There are plenty of tops out there that are not revealing even if you bend over.

Wait, bend over to put something on someone else's desk?? Nobody bends over to simply put something on a guy's desk. Reach down, sure. But bend over? What, does this guy use the floor for his desk?

So turtlenecks all year round, right?

EVERY shirt that has some sort of a neck on it can be revealing if you look at it from a certain angle and hard enough. That is what this "guy" had to do.

The guy is in the wrong for looking. The girl is in the wrong for not thinking ahead and protecting her innocence.
 

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
Originally posted by: IHYLN
women do a better job suing their employers over sexual harassment than at their own jobs sadly enough.

Maybe that's why this guy's freaking out? Maybe some bitch hit him with a complaint for something and now he's trying to get his revenge. Maybe he just doesn't have any tollerance for this kind of thing. Who knows.
 

Fausto

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2000
26,521
2
0
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: DWW
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: DWW
My sister works at an office job. She wears business-like attire for women. Well today she got a memo and complaint filed against her that her shirt was too revealing. It wasn't a plunging v-neck or anything. It just looks like a wider neck shirt but by no means you see any skin when she is standing upright. My sister had to bend over and put something on guy's desk and he filed a complaint that he could see her bra when he looked into it. Well DUH. Unless a woman is wearing a burqa or a turtleneck (sp?) of course you can see her bra if she bends over.

WTF? Who (especially a guy) would complain about that anyways... god people have nothing else better to do. Now she is all upset about it.

I would. That kind of clothing simply isn't appropriate for work. There are plenty of tops out there that are not revealing even if you bend over.

Wait, bend over to put something on someone else's desk?? Nobody bends over to simply put something on a guy's desk. Reach down, sure. But bend over? What, does this guy use the floor for his desk?

So turtlenecks all year round, right?

EVERY shirt that has some sort of a neck on it can be revealing if you look at it from a certain angle and hard enough. That is what this "guy" had to do.

The guy is in the wrong for looking. The girl is in the wrong for not thinking ahead and protecting her innocence.
Did you look at the shirt in the pic he linked? That's about as "racy" as anything you'll find in a Land's End catalog. If that's what she was wearing, then she didn't do anything wrong. Period. This isn't fscking Afghanistan.
 

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
Originally posted by: Fausto
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: DWW
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: DWW
My sister works at an office job. She wears business-like attire for women. Well today she got a memo and complaint filed against her that her shirt was too revealing. It wasn't a plunging v-neck or anything. It just looks like a wider neck shirt but by no means you see any skin when she is standing upright. My sister had to bend over and put something on guy's desk and he filed a complaint that he could see her bra when he looked into it. Well DUH. Unless a woman is wearing a burqa or a turtleneck (sp?) of course you can see her bra if she bends over.

WTF? Who (especially a guy) would complain about that anyways... god people have nothing else better to do. Now she is all upset about it.

I would. That kind of clothing simply isn't appropriate for work. There are plenty of tops out there that are not revealing even if you bend over.

Wait, bend over to put something on someone else's desk?? Nobody bends over to simply put something on a guy's desk. Reach down, sure. But bend over? What, does this guy use the floor for his desk?

So turtlenecks all year round, right?

EVERY shirt that has some sort of a neck on it can be revealing if you look at it from a certain angle and hard enough. That is what this "guy" had to do.

The guy is in the wrong for looking. The girl is in the wrong for not thinking ahead and protecting her innocence.
Did you look at the shirt in the pic he linked? That's about as "racy" as anything you'll find in a Land's End catalog. If that's what she was wearing, then she didn't do anything wrong. Period. This isn't fscking Afghanistan.

I was just about to edit my post with something along the lines of "but this isn't something that should warrant management intervension. Maybe he just should have said something to her directly instead."
 

Fausto

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2000
26,521
2
0
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: Fausto
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: DWW
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: DWW
My sister works at an office job. She wears business-like attire for women. Well today she got a memo and complaint filed against her that her shirt was too revealing. It wasn't a plunging v-neck or anything. It just looks like a wider neck shirt but by no means you see any skin when she is standing upright. My sister had to bend over and put something on guy's desk and he filed a complaint that he could see her bra when he looked into it. Well DUH. Unless a woman is wearing a burqa or a turtleneck (sp?) of course you can see her bra if she bends over.

WTF? Who (especially a guy) would complain about that anyways... god people have nothing else better to do. Now she is all upset about it.

I would. That kind of clothing simply isn't appropriate for work. There are plenty of tops out there that are not revealing even if you bend over.

Wait, bend over to put something on someone else's desk?? Nobody bends over to simply put something on a guy's desk. Reach down, sure. But bend over? What, does this guy use the floor for his desk?

So turtlenecks all year round, right?

EVERY shirt that has some sort of a neck on it can be revealing if you look at it from a certain angle and hard enough. That is what this "guy" had to do.

The guy is in the wrong for looking. The girl is in the wrong for not thinking ahead and protecting her innocence.
Did you look at the shirt in the pic he linked? That's about as "racy" as anything you'll find in a Land's End catalog. If that's what she was wearing, then she didn't do anything wrong. Period. This isn't fscking Afghanistan.

I was just about to edit my post with something along the lines of "but this isn't something that should warrant management intervension. Maybe he just should have said something to her directly instead."
Good. Don't let it happen again, fscker. :p
 

User1001

Golden Member
May 24, 2003
1,017
0
0
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: Fausto
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: DWW
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: DWW
My sister works at an office job. She wears business-like attire for women. Well today she got a memo and complaint filed against her that her shirt was too revealing. It wasn't a plunging v-neck or anything. It just looks like a wider neck shirt but by no means you see any skin when she is standing upright. My sister had to bend over and put something on guy's desk and he filed a complaint that he could see her bra when he looked into it. Well DUH. Unless a woman is wearing a burqa or a turtleneck (sp?) of course you can see her bra if she bends over.

WTF? Who (especially a guy) would complain about that anyways... god people have nothing else better to do. Now she is all upset about it.

I would. That kind of clothing simply isn't appropriate for work. There are plenty of tops out there that are not revealing even if you bend over.

Wait, bend over to put something on someone else's desk?? Nobody bends over to simply put something on a guy's desk. Reach down, sure. But bend over? What, does this guy use the floor for his desk?

So turtlenecks all year round, right?

EVERY shirt that has some sort of a neck on it can be revealing if you look at it from a certain angle and hard enough. That is what this "guy" had to do.

The guy is in the wrong for looking. The girl is in the wrong for not thinking ahead and protecting her innocence.
Did you look at the shirt in the pic he linked? That's about as "racy" as anything you'll find in a Land's End catalog. If that's what she was wearing, then she didn't do anything wrong. Period. This isn't fscking Afghanistan.

I was just about to edit my post with something along the lines of "but this isn't something that should warrant management intervension. Maybe he just should have said something to her directly instead."

He's probably a scaredy cat. An idiotic scardey cat who needs some self-control.
 

OrByte

Diamond Member
Jul 21, 2000
9,303
144
106
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: sygyzy
The same people that are saying this guy is overreacting would be the same people upset if they had a complaint filed against *them* for looking at a woman at work. It's funny how we can play both sides.

:beer:

For me, when a woman is about to put herself out there in any revealing position, I avert my eyes....ESPECIALLY at the workplace, I would never be caught oggling someone at work...way too risky.

the point is, you can see it coming, the choice is yours to take the risk and get a peepshow or look away, and at the workplace...you'd best not take chances.
 

Ameesh

Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
23,686
1
0
Originally posted by: Fausto
Originally posted by: spidey07
Originally posted by: OrByte
Originally posted by: spidey07
Originally posted by: sygyzy
It's called a pre-emptive strike. Plenty of women would have no problem with getting a guy fired for looking down their shirts. This guy is smart. It's her job or his.

good point.

He already has it on file that she wears offensive clothing, meaning he's got it on the record first.

Very smart. Very, Very smart.

well not really I mean, he did admit staring down her blouse, and I imagine her blouse meets work guidelines.... she has a RIGHT to bend over to place papers on a desk...

he does have a right to make it an issue by claiming harassment from her bending over BUT

She can make just as much a fuss about it than him. The problem is, he was caught looking down her blouse..to me the ball is in her court.

I wouldn't let the opportunity pass me by, especially if it caused me grief. If she is feeling upset about it, she should say something.

Well I guess my point is we don't know the whole story. I've known many women in the office who don't think they are dressing out of line and yet EVERYBODY talks about them and the way they dress behind their back.

And if this guy feels there is a hostile or distracting work environment, then by all means HR and the company must abide and honor the report (as they did.)

My point is dude made the first move (fired the first rocket) and now anything she does will be suspect due to concerns over retaliation.

Think about it....HR took it seriously enough to document the problem in writing. He may be a douche, but he is a very smart douche.
No, he's just a douche.

agreed, we are talking about a guy who filed a complaint that he saw a woman's bra. this guys man card needs to be revoked.
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
Originally posted by: Phoenix86That doesn't mean the line of reasoning isn't sound...

I'm kinda torn on this, on one hand she was wearing something revealing, it DID reveal her bra (woohoo, why compain ;) ). OK, look at it this way, want to see what I have on under my pants? I don't think so, so why does it make a different that she is a she, and you got to see a bra instead of a buys underpants (think plumber working on a drain)?

On the other hand, if she wasn't wearing anything too revealing and it only exposed her when posed just like this *stikes a pose*... Common sense should prevail.

The people thinking pre-emptive strike are probably correct vs. a switch hitter. After think about it this way. An attractive (?) woman (younger?) exposes herself slightly to you, she's an intern/summer worker/temp.

Is she gold digging? How do you protect yourself if you think she is?

yeap.

How does this guy know she was not setting him up to claim a "sexual harrasment" lawsuit? why was she bending over so far that he could see?

Sometimes its hard not to see when women wear some of the outfits they wear. I'm there to work not see some womens bra.

If a guy bent over and showed his whitie tightes do you think she would say nothing? or fill for sexual harrasment?

While i do kind of think he went overboard i do not blame him one bit.
 

SuperTool

Lifer
Jan 25, 2000
14,000
2
0
Maybe he is just insuring himself against SH accusations. If she caught him staring, maybe he wanted to do a preemptive strike. Maybe it's paranoid, but if an accusation can ruin your career, you gotta be careful.
 

cerebusPu

Diamond Member
May 27, 2000
4,008
0
0
have your sister file a complaint about the guy looking down her blouse and checking out her bra. haha...that would be justice.
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
Originally posted by: cerebusPu
have your sister file a complaint about the guy looking down her blouse and checking out her bra. haha...that would be justice.

and it would backfire.

the guy could claim that since he made a complaint against her for wearing reveling clothing she is just trying to get him fired.

everyone saying she should claim sexual harrasment are fvucking retarded. Do you guys have any idea what it not only cost the company but does to the person? and you want her to file a false claim? damn.
 

NikPreviousAcct

No Lifer
Aug 15, 2000
52,763
1
0
Originally posted by: OrByte
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: sygyzy
The same people that are saying this guy is overreacting would be the same people upset if they had a complaint filed against *them* for looking at a woman at work. It's funny how we can play both sides.

:beer:

For me, when a woman is about to put herself out there in any revealing position, I avert my eyes....ESPECIALLY at the workplace, I would never be caught oggling someone at work...way too risky.

the point is, you can see it coming, the choice is yours to take the risk and get a peepshow or look away, and at the workplace...you'd best not take chances.

:beer: again
 

Phoenix86

Lifer
May 21, 2003
14,644
10
81
Originally posted by: Fausto
Originally posted by: DWW
Okay I'm not big into clothes so I don't know what her shirt type is called. I google'd for women and shirt and this is the closest thing I found:

http://www.lambsearfarm.com/kps993.JPG

Picture that (minus the uglay) with a neck that is rounded (instead of a V it is a semi-circle) but that is as far down on the shirt it goes.
If that's the case, I stand by my assessment that the guy's a total idiot. That isn't even remotely revealing.
Neither is a pair of jeans until your plumber is wearing them.
 

spidey07

No Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
65,469
5
76
Originally posted by: Fausto
Originally posted by: DWW
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: DWW
My sister works at an office job. She wears business-like attire for women. Well today she got a memo and complaint filed against her that her shirt was too revealing. It wasn't a plunging v-neck or anything. It just looks like a wider neck shirt but by no means you see any skin when she is standing upright. My sister had to bend over and put something on guy's desk and he filed a complaint that he could see her bra when he looked into it. Well DUH. Unless a woman is wearing a burqa or a turtleneck (sp?) of course you can see her bra if she bends over.

WTF? Who (especially a guy) would complain about that anyways... god people have nothing else better to do. Now she is all upset about it.

I would. That kind of clothing simply isn't appropriate for work. There are plenty of tops out there that are not revealing even if you bend over.

Wait, bend over to put something on someone else's desk?? Nobody bends over to simply put something on a guy's desk. Reach down, sure. But bend over? What, does this guy use the floor for his desk?

So turtlenecks all year round, right?

EVERY shirt that has some sort of a neck on it can be revealing if you look at it from a certain angle and hard enough. That is what this "guy" had to do.
Exactly, which is why I think he's totally overreacting.

I'm confused.

HR took it seriously enough to document it and send a memo. Obviously they took it as a legitimate complaint. Its not like she can say "no he wasn't offended."

Guess I've been in corporate world too long. HR doesn't muck around with this stuff anymore - make a complaint and it is taken with the utmost sincerity and in no way can this be turned back on the dude...that would be a critical error and he could instantly turn that into a lawsuit. The one who files first has impunity.

Smart...very smart. Its obvious he knows how to play the game.