Sister-In-Law wants to have his Kid

[filterxg]

After work I usually go to this bar for a few drinks. Atmosphere is sort of a Cheers thing, except there are about 10 of us regulars. Anyway, of the group apparently I'm the psychologist and priest because I get a lot of stories thrown my way of people looking for advice. This one threw me for a loop.

John Doe is happily married, 2-kids (boy+girl), low-40's, wouldn't do a thing to hurt his family. Real standup guy. After he had his kids his wife asked him to have a vasectomy. He did so, on the condition that he could put some sperm away in a bank, just in case. Rainy day fund I guess.

Anyway, his sister-in-law is in her upper-30's, lawyer, and queen-b1tch apparently. She's doesn't have any kids, and apparently given up on marriage, but scared she'll never have kids. I imagine her to be Murphy Brown, but I never met her. She's been thinking of having a kid before, but never found the right guy. Well apparently she has in her brother-in-law. She wasn't looking for a partner, rather somebody she could tell her kid this is their father (when the time came). Ideally somebody who'd be around, and not total outside the child's life.

He wants to do it. As he sees it, better him than somebody else. Since he's not having sex (just donating the sperm), then he doesn't break any of his vows. Obviously he needs to tell his wife, which is what he was asking my advice for. I was a little in shock, and I told him I'd get back to him on Monday.

My guess is he'll ask this weekend, but I'll come back with an answer anyway. Going to talk to my girlfriend tonight, and I'll see if she has any insight, she likes hearing on the guy's stories anyway. Leaning between straight up truth, or getting his sister-in-law to ask. A little alcohol might also be in order.

 

[x04d DaY]

That's going to screw up the kids. Hell fscking no.

 

[TriStar]

Great, another kid being raised by a nanny with no parents.

 

[illusion88]

Originally posted by: filterxg
After work I usually go to this bar for a few drinks. Atmosphere is sort of a Cheers thing, except there are about 10 of us regulars. Anyway, of the group apparently I'm the psychologist and priest because I get a lot of stories thrown my way of people looking for advice. This one threw me for a loop.

John Doe is happily married, 2-kids (boy+girl), low-40's, wouldn't do a thing to hurt his family. Real standup guy. After he had his kids his wife asked him to have a vasectomy. He did so, on the condition that he could put some sperm away in a bank, just in case. Rainy day fund I guess.

Anyway, his sister-in-law is in her upper-30's, lawyer, and queen-b1tch apparently. She's doesn't have any kids, and apparently given up on marriage, but scared she'll never have kids. I imagine her to be Murphy Brown, but I never met her. She's been thinking of having a kid before, but never found the right guy. Well apparently she has in her brother-in-law. She wasn't looking for a partner, rather somebody she could tell her kid this is their father (when the time came). Ideally somebody who'd be around, and not total outside the child's life.

He wants to do it. As he sees it, better him than somebody else. Since he's not having sex (just donating the sperm), then he doesn't break any of his vows. Obviously he needs to tell his wife, which is what he was asking my advice for. I was a little in shock, and I told him I'd get back to him on Monday.

My guess is he'll ask this weekend, but I'll come back with an answer anyway. Going to talk to my girlfriend tonight, and I'll see if she has any insight, she likes hearing on the guy's stories anyway. Leaning between straight up truth, or getting his sister-in-law to ask. A little alcohol might also be in order.

If she can support a child... I see nothing wrong with it.

I dont know this women, but judging that she has trouble holding down relationships (gave up on marriage) I question her ability to love and support a child.

 

[Landroval]

As a woman, I would not be happy about my husband donating his sperm to a relative. It's mine! ALL mine! Frankly, the sister-in-law can get it from a bank, a friend, David Crosby, or she can adopt.

 

[Sphexi]

Originally posted by: Landroval
As a woman, I would not be happy about my husband donating his sperm to a relative. It's mine! ALL mine! Frankly, the sister-in-law can get it from a bank, a friend, David Crosby, or she can adopt.

:Q

 

[JulesMaximus]

Has he talked to the Sister-In-Law about this? I think he should start there. It's really moot point unless she agrees to it.

 

[x04d DaY]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Has he talked to the Sister-In-Law about this? I think he should start there. It's really moot point unless she agrees to it.

It was her idea?

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Landroval
As a woman, I would not be happy about my husband donating his sperm to a relative. It's mine! ALL mine! Frankly, the sister-in-law can get it from a bank, a friend, David Crosby, or she can adopt.

Technically, that's what she'd be doing.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: x04d DaY

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Has he talked to the Sister-In-Law about this? I think he should start there. It's really moot point unless she agrees to it.

It was her idea?

The OP never stated whether or not she actually asked him. She may have mentioned it in a conversation or he may have heard it through the grapevine. Who knows?

Edit-Okay, it looks like she may have asked him after reading it closely...it's not really that clear though. Bad OP!!!

<--Tosses martini into the sink.

 

[deftron]

fvck that

 

[filterxg]

She asked him. But he wan't sure how (or when) she knew of it. Probably through her sister (his wife).

Personally, I'd be a little concerned for the kid, but if I was certain that she was going to go through with it, I'd rather it be a close friend, with nonblood family a distant second choice. Random guy or boyfriend would not make the cut.

 

[sandmanwake]

Nothing good can come of this for him. What if she decides later she wants child support. What if she decides she wants him to help out with the kid later. Forget her asking for it, if it was me, I'd probably feel obligated to help out whether she asked for it or not.

 

[Landroval]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Landroval
As a woman, I would not be happy about my husband donating his sperm to a relative. It's mine! ALL mine! Frankly, the sister-in-law can get it from a bank, a friend, David Crosby, or she can adopt.

Technically, that's what she'd be doing.

Yes, but she would also be taking MY SPERM, so it wouldn't happen

edit: Two of my friends (lesbians) tried to convince the brother of one of them to donate sperm to the other and it ended up being too weird for his wife to accept (he was also very tentative), so he declined. They understood and decided to adopt and now have two beautiful children.

 

[Ornery]

Originally posted by: TriStar
Great, another kid being raised by a nanny with no parents.

There's a great point I didn't think of right away. Dan Quayle Was Right!

No, my first concern, is that my own flesh & blood will be raised by somebody other than myself. No fvcking way! ABSOLUTELY NOT!

 

[stringcheeseincident]

hahahah my mom has this picture of her and a few friends and David Crosby, she met him at a concert a while back...she put it up on our fridge and likes to tell people i'm the product of her and David's one night stand because i sort of look like him. all this craziness kind of fits in a thread like this.

 

[Landroval]

Originally posted by: stringcheeseincident
hahahah my mom has this picture of her and a few friends and David Crosby, she met him at a concert a while back...she put it up on our fridge and likes to tell people i'm the product of her and David's one night stand because i sort of look like him. all this craziness kind of fits in a thread like this.

I seem to recall he fathered someone's children, some lesbian singer whose name is escaping me....

 

[HardcoreRobot]

talk to the wife, if she is cool, go for it

 

[x04d DaY]

"Son, I'd like you to meet your father."
"Wtfux? That's uncle John!"

 

[ktehmok]

Tell the prude/late 30's lawyer/queen b|tch, that if she wants a baby, to get on her back & put her ankles on the headboard & take one for the team. If she is incapable of even doing that, she doesn't deserve a child. If she is physically able to get pregnant, then she need to take it the old fashioned way, and not try to play it safe & fvck up the rest of her family's lives.

Seriously, what guy would want that sh|t hanging over his head for the rest of his life? It's like...all the hassle, without any reward whatsoever. For a good analogy: "Hey, I'm going to register this Ferrari in your name, because your responsible & a good person, but you're never going to get to drive it" ???

Fvck that with a screwdriver sideways.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: ktehmok
Tell the prude/late 30's lawyer/queen b|tch, that if she wants a baby, to get on her back & put her ankles on the headboard & take one for the team. If she is incapable of even doing that, she doesn't deserve a child. If she is physically able to get pregnant, then she need to take it the old fashioned way, and not try to play it safe & fvck up the rest of her family's lives.

Seriously, what guy would want that sh|t hanging over his head for the rest of his life? It's like...all the hassle, without any reward whatsoever. For a good analogy: "Hey, I'm going to register this Ferrari in your name, because your responsible & a good person, but you're never going to get to drive it" ???

Fvck that with a screwdriver sideways.

/thread

 

[middlehead]

Originally posted by: x04d DaY
"Son, I'd like you to meet your father."
"Wtfux? That's uncle John!"

"Mom, you suck. I'm doing to Uncle Dad's house."

Originally posted by: Landroval
I seem to recall he fathered someone's children, some lesbian singer whose name is escaping me....

Melissa Etheridge. No idea who her partner is, though.

 

[Stojakapimp]

So that kid and his/her cousin will have the same dad? kinda weird if you ask me

 

[Sheepathon]

Incest taboo, anyone?

 

[Sheepathon]

Well, think of it this way: People get divorced all the time, oftentimes after having children. I'll bet there are a few cases where someone divorced someone and married their sibling. Technically it's the same as it would be in your situation, except the means to the end would be different. I'm not saying it's right, but it happens, and society lives with it. Still, as someone stated above, I'm skeptical about the ability of this woman to raise kids if she's got a personality that apparently isn't compatible with anyone. Also, how is she going to care for the kid(s) after they are born? Is she a rich lawyer, or a 50k a year lawyer? Regardless, will she able to support them if she stops working to care for them? And if she's gonna pop 'em out and then have them raised by a nanny or something...f that. I doubt she will be doing this at like, a 50s retiring age, so how to provide?