Sigh... probably shouldn't have done it.

[ibintegra]

People will always gush about their relationships during (unless of course it's on the verge of ending). If what you say is true about your honesty towards each other, then you should believe him when he says this relationship is better than his previous one(s).

 

[arcenite]

Originally posted by: Czesia
I just finished fishing through posts in the archive that my bf has posted in the past, when it occurred to me that he's been a member here since before dating his ex-gf. So, of course, I was curious to see if he'd posted anything about her in the past, so the scrolling and reading began. Luckily, I only saw things that I already know about, so it's not as though any of them come as any great surprize to me. However, where the trouble comes in is here: it's quite one thing to hear the stories from him after they'd happened and after he'd realized his mistakes, but quite another to hear about them when he was still so close to her. After reading what I've seen, I see things in a different light regarding his past relationship. He was very close to his gf, and while I've always known that, it still bothers me to think about it.

Also, he continually tells me that she was not all that attractive and that she was overweight, but I've seen pictures of her, and I don't think she is unattractive at all, and people have even posted nice things about her picture on the forum. At one point he even specified her weight, and she weighed less than me. This bothers me especially because he has told me many times that I am so much better than her, more attractive, more proportional in general, etc. However, it doesn't sound like she was so bad.

I realize that it's silly to mull over this, and I'm not even sure what the objective is in posting this, but I just needed a chance to touch a bit on how I feel.

**Edit
I'm not worried if he reads this because we're very honest with eachother and it would be wrong for me to pretend that I didn't go through the archives. I will tell him about it because talking about this sort of stuff is the best remedy.

You need help. If you can't just understand that he has a past beyond you, then you will never be mentally secure. What was then was then, what is now is now. If you can't forget about it, forget about him. You will only drag him down to mental instability.

Bill

 

[Yossarian]

" he continually tells me that she was not all that attractive and that she was overweight"

HAHAH that's what you're supposed to say. Would it be better if he had said, "Czesia, she was so fvcking hot you wouldn't believe it!!!!11 You are such a cow in comparison."

 

[BigToque]

Well, first off, I'd like to state that I am Czesia's bf. Second, I told Czesia about AT and I love that she is comming to the forums. I knew that at some point she would look at my old posts, and quite frankly I don't care. I knew there would be things that she wouldn't necessarily like seeing, but anything she did see and had questions about I would definitely talk to her about them. As far as I am concerned, I have shared about 95% of every single event that has ever happened in my life. The other 5% I just can't remember (this includes a history of over 5000 posts - many quite pointless). I want to have her know 100% of everything, and I want to know how she feels about everything.

On the flip side, I know a lot about her past (I couldnt give a % though). As far as I know, I have all the important details. I got these details because I asked her everything. I wanted the answers to all the questions I had, even if it meant hearing things I didn't like. Through all this, I believe that we have become incredibly close, and we will only get closer and stronger as time goes on.


Another thing...

" he continually tells me that she was not all that attractive and that she was overweight"

HAHAH that's what you're supposed to say. Would it be better if he had said, "Czesia, she was so fvcking hot you wouldn't believe it!!!!11 You are such a cow in comparison."

I know what I find attractive and not attractive. I never thought my ex-gf was very attractive and the truth is, she wouldn't hold a candle to Czesia on any level. I don't just say things to please people.

 

[Hubris]

Originally posted by: Stefan
Well, first off, I'd like to state that I am Czesia's bf. Second, I told Czesia about AT and I love that she is comming to the forums. I knew that at some point she would look at my old posts, and quite frankly I don't care. I knew there would be things that she wouldn't necessarily like seeing, but anything she did see and had questions about I would definitely talk to her about them. As far as I am concerned, I have shared about 95% of every single event that has ever happened in my life. The other 5% I just can't remember (this includes a history of over 5000 posts - many quite pointless). I want to have her know 100% of everything, and I want to know how she feels about everything.

On the flip side, I know a lot about her past (I couldnt give a % though). As far as I know, I have all the important details. I got these details because I asked her everything. I wanted the answers to all the questions I had, even if it meant hearing things I didn't like. Through all this, I believe that we have become incredibly close, and we will only get closer and stronger as time goes on.


Another thing...

" he continually tells me that she was not all that attractive and that she was overweight"

HAHAH that's what you're supposed to say. Would it be better if he had said, "Czesia, she was so fvcking hot you wouldn't believe it!!!!11 You are such a cow in comparison."

I know what I find attractive and not attractive. I never thought my ex-gf was very attractive and the truth is, she wouldn't hold a candle to Czesia on any level. I don't just say things to please people.

Jeebus, get a room. Some things don't need to be part of the public discourse.

The hell were you going out with the other girl for if you 'never thought she was very attractive'? That's kinda dishonest and mean.

 

[caitlion]

wow. it seems like you guys have a great relationship. i wish my bf and i could be as open and honest with each other. i know that i tell him almost everything.. he probably tells me ~70% of the things id like to know. oh well

 

[Yeeny]

Originally posted by: Hammer

Originally posted by: lilFajita
I purposely haven't told my current boyfriend about ATOT because i don't really want him to see some of the posts I made about an old relationship. I think, that seeing something like that is really difficult, because its a snapshot in time. I understand why it bothers you.

weak! my gf knows about this place. i don't care what she sees. she knows this place is here for my amusement.

My bf knows about it too. EEK!



And most people would feel a little insecure hearing someone they love talk about an ex in a good way, even if it is in the past. So you aren't alone, no matter what anyone says. My rule is, give me basic facts, I don't need to know details, because I know it would eat me up to hear them. But this isn't the first time curiosity has killed the cat, and it won't be the last. Don't worry about how you feel, you are only human. And it sounds like you won't let it damage what you have with him, so no worries.

 

[Regs]

We can do some crazy stuff when we are fascinated with our own befuddlement and our frustrations. I can understand.

 

[Yax]

You are a b!tch. You need to be spanked severely.

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: TwinkleToes77

Originally posted by: Jigga
So why are you telling us this, and what happens when he reads this post??

He's going to read her posts and get pissed off shes so nosy and insecure.

I would

<---Can't stand people that are so insecure they take offense at every little thing. No, your jeans don'y make you look fat, your ass does.

The past is the past and should be left there unless it is a gift that keeps on giving like a STD or a little nino running around.

How bout pics of the both of you and let us judge?

 

[arcenite]

Originally posted by: caitlion
wow. it seems like you guys have a great relationship. i wish my bf and i could be as open and honest with each other. i know that i tell him almost everything.. he probably tells me ~70% of the things id like to know. oh well

"hey hubby I riced my civic"

"...you did what??"

 

[Yossarian]

Originally posted by: Stefan
Another thing...

" he continually tells me that she was not all that attractive and that she was overweight"

HAHAH that's what you're supposed to say. Would it be better if he had said, "Czesia, she was so fvcking hot you wouldn't believe it!!!!11 You are such a cow in comparison."

I know what I find attractive and not attractive. I never thought my ex-gf was very attractive and the truth is, she wouldn't hold a candle to Czesia on any level. I don't just say things to please people.

*sob* this IS your ex-gf, you heartless jerk!!! I can't believe you think those things of me

 

[Ranger X]

That's why it's best to stay anonymous on these forums.

 

[lilFajita]

Originally posted by: Hammer

Originally posted by: lilFajita
I purposely haven't told my current boyfriend about ATOT because i don't really want him to see some of the posts I made about an old relationship. I think, that seeing something like that is really difficult, because its a snapshot in time. I understand why it bothers you.

weak! my gf knows about this place. i don't care what she sees. she knows this place is here for my amusement.

but hammer, you never acutally say anything here

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: The_good_guy
lady... you need to go get a life and grow up.... and stop being insecure... cause your a freaking insecure person..
and then go build your confidence.. and stop getting upset if the ex was lesser in weight.. if that matters so much to you, go on a diet or i will see you at jenny craigs.

Frankly I dont understand why ex's & gf's come here to check up on their bf.. like we guys do it to our gf's.. more over why come here and rant about it in public.. do the talking in private.

I will admit, I had my gf come here, but she had a reason. She knew of this place for months and frankly i know she will find this post and get a bit upset (maybe) but then she knows my reasons. Anycase she enjoys my stuff now, she comes to ATOT, and she reads it. Though she does not understand why i spend "hours" in a week here, but i guess that she will never find out.

If your in a honest relationship with someone, tell them where you are hanging out at online. Maybe have them join, the ones that are "open and true" make the best.

Vanessa enjoyed reading all the horrible things people had to say about her physical appearance thanks to you posting her pics? :Q

 

[TuffGuy]

I would hate to date someone as nosy as you.

 

[Hammer]

Originally posted by: lilFajita

Originally posted by: Hammer

Originally posted by: lilFajita
I purposely haven't told my current boyfriend about ATOT because i don't really want him to see some of the posts I made about an old relationship. I think, that seeing something like that is really difficult, because its a snapshot in time. I understand why it bothers you.

weak! my gf knows about this place. i don't care what she sees. she knows this place is here for my amusement.

but hammer, you never acutally say anything here

insults and one liners count!

 

[Zombie]

PICS or BAN

 

[BigToque]

Originally posted by: Zombie
PICS or BAN

Pics of who? I've got these crazy pics of myself chained up hanging by my nipples if you'd like to see them

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: Stefan

Originally posted by: Zombie
PICS or BAN

Pics of who? I've got these crazy pics of myself chained up hanging by my nipples if you'd like to see them

Is there a leather clad dominatrix in them?

 

[BigToque]

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: Stefan

Originally posted by: Zombie
PICS or BAN

Pics of who? I've got these crazy pics of myself chained up hanging by my nipples if you'd like to see them

Is there a leather clad dominatrix in them?

nope, but you should see the things I do with my cat

j/k

 

[Murphyrulez]

Originally posted by: Stefan
Another thing...

" he continually tells me that she was not all that attractive and that she was overweight"

HAHAH that's what you're supposed to say. Would it be better if he had said, "Czesia, she was so fvcking hot you wouldn't believe it!!!!11 You are such a cow in comparison."

I know what I find attractive and not attractive. I never thought my ex-gf was very attractive and the truth is, she wouldn't hold a candle to Czesia on any level. I don't just say things to please people.

Obviously, you are lying again, like you lied to your current GF when you told her your ex was overweight. It's ok, you can't just come out and say that your ex was hot, we know. But trust me, we know.....

 

[Ninjja]

Originally posted by: The_good_guy
lady... you need to go get a life and grow up.... and stop being insecure... cause your a freaking insecure person..
and then go build your confidence.. and stop getting upset if the ex was lesser in weight.. if that matters so much to you, go on a diet or i will see you at jenny craigs.

Frankly I dont understand why ex's & gf's come here to check up on their bf.. like we guys do it to our gf's.. more over why come here and rant about it in public.. do the talking in private.

I will admit, I had my gf come here, but she had a reason. She knew of this place for months and frankly i know she will find this post and get a bit upset (maybe) but then she knows my reasons. Anycase she enjoys my stuff now, she comes to ATOT, and she reads it. Though she does not understand why i spend "hours" in a week here, but i guess that she will never find out.

If your in a honest relationship with someone, tell them where you are hanging out at online. Maybe have them join, the ones that are "open and true" make the best.

wow.

 

[opticalmace]

You need to talk to him, not post on ATOT about it.

Sheesh.

 

[iliopsoas]

Czesia,

If your bf was close with his ex-gf and he is also close with you, then it's a positive thing. It shows that he's capable of intimacy. It's ok to be envious or feel uncomfortable about his ex-gfs. But the only thing that truly matters now is that you and your bf have an intimate relationship.

As for telling you his ex-gf wasn't all that pretty, maybe he was only trying to make you feel better.