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Sigh... probably shouldn't have done it.

C

Czesia

Senior member
I just finished fishing through posts in the archive that my bf has posted in the past, when it occurred to me that he's been a member here since before dating his ex-gf. So, of course, I was curious to see if he'd posted anything about her in the past, so the scrolling and reading began. Luckily, I only saw things that I already know about, so it's not as though any of them come as any great surprize to me. However, where the trouble comes in is here: it's quite one thing to hear the stories from him after they'd happened and after he'd realized his mistakes, but quite another to hear about them when he was still so close to her. After reading what I've seen, I see things in a different light regarding his past relationship. He was very close to his gf, and while I've always known that, it still bothers me to think about it.

Also, he continually tells me that she was not all that attractive and that she was overweight, but I've seen pictures of her, and I don't think she is unattractive at all, and people have even posted nice things about her picture on the forum. At one point he even specified her weight, and she weighed less than me. This bothers me especially because he has told me many times that I am so much better than her, more attractive, more proportional in general, etc. However, it doesn't sound like she was so bad.

I realize that it's silly to mull over this, and I'm not even sure what the objective is in posting this, but I just needed a chance to touch a bit on how I feel.

**Edit
I'm not worried if he reads this because we're very honest with eachother and it would be wrong for me to pretend that I didn't go through the archives. I will tell him about it because talking about this sort of stuff is the best remedy. 🙂
 
What were you expecting? Very few good things could've come from reading those old posts. Hope you feel better after deciding to let it go because it was all in the past.

-geoff
 
Now THATS irony. Teach people to look for advice online! haha!

I wonder when people will start screaming about how she invaded his privacy or some horseshyte like that. Ah well. Hey baby, if you need to go have a drink or something, PM me 😉

😀

And welcome to Atot!
 
So why did you go back and read them all? What did you expect to find, some woman bashing of his then current girlfriend?
 
I purposely haven't told my current boyfriend about ATOT because i don't really want him to see some of the posts I made about an old relationship. I think, that seeing something like that is really difficult, because its a snapshot in time. I understand why it bothers you.
 
Originally posted by: lilFajita
I purposely haven't told my current boyfriend about ATOT because i don't really want him to see some of the posts I made about an old relationship. I think, that seeing something like that is really difficult, because its a snapshot in time. I understand why it bothers you.
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Thank you.
 
i know what you mean. ive done similar things with my boyfriend... thats one of the reasons im so insecure.

im sorry 🙁 i hope you feel better about it soon.

does he know that you looked? try to talk to him about it. its always better to keep things out in the open, rather than secret from each other. talking about it DOES help a lot. just tell him how youre feeling and see what happens.. good luck.
 
Uh, what did you expect him to say about his then-current-girlfriend? That he hated her? Why would he have been going out with her then? You sound really insecure.
 
lady... you need to go get a life and grow up.... and stop being insecure... cause your a freaking insecure person..
and then go build your confidence.. and stop getting upset if the ex was lesser in weight.. if that matters so much to you, go on a diet or i will see you at jenny craigs.

Frankly I dont understand why ex's & gf's come here to check up on their bf.. like we guys do it to our gf's.. more over why come here and rant about it in public.. do the talking in private.

I will admit, I had my gf come here, but she had a reason. She knew of this place for months and frankly i know she will find this post and get a bit upset (maybe) but then she knows my reasons. Anycase she enjoys my stuff now, she comes to ATOT, and she reads it. Though she does not understand why i spend "hours" in a week here, but i guess that she will never find out.

If your in a honest relationship with someone, tell them where you are hanging out at online. Maybe have them join, the ones that are "open and true" make the best.

 
just remember that how he felt about someone else a long time ago isn't important. what IS important is how he feels about you, right now. and it sounds like he thinks the world of you. cheer up!
 
Originally posted by: lilFajita
I purposely haven't told my current boyfriend about ATOT because i don't really want him to see some of the posts I made about an old relationship. I think, that seeing something like that is really difficult, because its a snapshot in time. I understand why it bothers you.
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weak! 😉 my gf knows about this place. i don't care what she sees. she knows this place is here for my amusement.
 
Originally posted by: TwinkleToes77
tsk tsk... You should know better than to look for things like that. You will ALWAYS find something you dont want to know about.
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yep, better off left untouched.
 
Originally posted by: TwinkleToes77
tsk tsk... You should know better than to look for things like that. You will ALWAYS find something you dont want to know about.
Click to expand...

Yep, better to leave the past behind. Nothing good can come of it and you cannot change what has already happened.
 
That's why private stuff has to be posted on an anonymous community.

As for you, you're taking this way too far. Keyword: past relationship. Leave what was in the past in the past. If you're really that insecure about yourself, then maybe it's not him who has the problem.
 
Originally posted by: apac
That's why private stuff has to be posted on an anonymous community.

As for you, you're taking this way too far. Keyword: past relationship. Leave what was in the past in the past. If you're really that insecure about yourself, then maybe it's not him who has the problem.
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I never said that he had a problem at all. As I already said from the start, I realize there's no good reason to feel sorry for myself over this. It's just nice to vent a bit once and awhile: everyone does it. So lighten up. 🙂 (no offense intended, apac).
 
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