Should men only be with one woman? (ie monogamous marriage)

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Given that both monogamy and marriage are cultural institutions, the answer to the question depends on your cultural imprinting. If the nuclear family is the accepted means of raising children, then monogamy is likely the appropriate means for encouraging the stability of family relationships. If, however, our culture fostered and encouraged the communal upbringing of children, then the free exchange of sexual partners could easily become the cultural norm, and we'd be having this discussion from an entirely different point of view.

Yes, those are called "Swingers Clubs" 😀

 

[Deeko]

where the hell are you getting your numbers

 

[Fausto]

Originally posted by: Queasy

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Given that both monogamy and marriage are cultural institutions, the answer to the question depends on your cultural imprinting. If the nuclear family is the accepted means of raising children, then monogamy is likely the appropriate means for encouraging the stability of family relationships. If, however, our culture fostered and encouraged the communal upbringing of children, then the free exchange of sexual partners could easily become the cultural norm, and we'd be having this discussion from an entirely different point of view.

Yes, those are called "Swingers Clubs" 😀

Atlanta apparently has a ton of these clubs, BTW. 😕

 

[yowolabi]

As af 2000, in China there were 106 males for every 100 females.
link

More girls are born than boys, but because of practices in places like India and Asia, there are more men then women worldwide.

 

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: Fausto1

Originally posted by: Queasy

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Given that both monogamy and marriage are cultural institutions, the answer to the question depends on your cultural imprinting. If the nuclear family is the accepted means of raising children, then monogamy is likely the appropriate means for encouraging the stability of family relationships. If, however, our culture fostered and encouraged the communal upbringing of children, then the free exchange of sexual partners could easily become the cultural norm, and we'd be having this discussion from an entirely different point of view.

Yes, those are called "Swingers Clubs" 😀

Atlanta apparently has a ton of these clubs, BTW. 😕

Yep, one was busted last year because they 'advertised' and sold liquor without a license and performed acts of which I am not going to post of while at work! 😀

 

[Storm]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Given that both monogamy and marriage are cultural institutions, the answer to the question depends on your cultural imprinting. If the nuclear family is the accepted means of raising children, then monogamy is likely the appropriate means for encouraging the stability of family relationships. If, however, our culture fostered and encouraged the communal upbringing of children, then the free exchange of sexual partners could easily become the cultural norm, and we'd be having this discussion from an entirely different point of view.

There were cultures that did that waaaaaaaaay back but the names escape me at the moment.

 

[Hammer]

lol where did you get your figures on the ratio of women to men? 😛

 

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: Storm

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Given that both monogamy and marriage are cultural institutions, the answer to the question depends on your cultural imprinting. If the nuclear family is the accepted means of raising children, then monogamy is likely the appropriate means for encouraging the stability of family relationships. If, however, our culture fostered and encouraged the communal upbringing of children, then the free exchange of sexual partners could easily become the cultural norm, and we'd be having this discussion from an entirely different point of view.

There were cultures that did that waaaaaaaaay back but the names escape me at the moment.

Wasn't there some culture/tribe in Africa where it was customary to have the house-guest sleep with the host's wife? :Q Or was that just an urban legend?

 

[Maverick]

Originally posted by: Fausto1

Originally posted by: ILikeStuff
FYI, not all animals "spread their seed around"... there are many in the animal kingdom that for lifelong, monogamous bonds

True...I was just kind of making a general reference for the sake of the "that's why guys do what they do" argument. Especially since our nearest cousins, chimps, boink each other like bunnies. No monogomy happening there.

You should read the book "The Naked Ape" by Desmond Morris. He explains different evolutionary theories regarding "pair bonding" where two people mate for life in humans (the only great ape to do so). Its basically a social evolution that allows us independence from a social group or community but provides enough unity to survive in an otherwise harsh world.

 

[Electric Amish]

I think that it should be dependant on the people involved.

I don't see being able to make a sweeping, all encompassing judgement in this area.

amish

 

[yowolabi]

Originally posted by: Storm

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
Given that both monogamy and marriage are cultural institutions, the answer to the question depends on your cultural imprinting. If the nuclear family is the accepted means of raising children, then monogamy is likely the appropriate means for encouraging the stability of family relationships. If, however, our culture fostered and encouraged the communal upbringing of children, then the free exchange of sexual partners could easily become the cultural norm, and we'd be having this discussion from an entirely different point of view.

There were cultures that did that waaaaaaaaay back but the names escape me at the moment.

There are many places in Africa where polygamy is legal and normal. If a man can afford to have more than one wife, he probably will.

 

[SSP]

GO POLYGAMY! 😀

 

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: SSP
GO POLYGAMY! 😀

Dude, just think how much one wife costs then multiply that by 3 or 4! You'd be better off with escort services 😀

 

[SuperSix]

I don't think monogamy is in our genes, it is a culture-imposed limitation. THat being said, I prefer a monogamous relationship - there's too much wierd crap (and scary women) out there, and I couldn't hurt my wife like that..

 

[yowolabi]

Originally posted by: Queasy

Wasn't there some culture/tribe in Africa where it was customary to have the house-guest sleep with the host's wife? :Q Or was that just an urban legend?

Not in Africa. There is some truth to that story involving Eskimos.

Straightdope

 

[giguana]

Originally posted by: Queasy

Originally posted by: SSP
GO POLYGAMY! 😀

Dude, just think how much one wife costs then multiply that by 3 or 4! You'd be better off with escort services 😀

rofl. that was great, but true.

 

[Queasy]

Originally posted by: SuperSix
I don't think monogamy is in our genes, it is a culture-imposed limitation. THat being said, I prefer a monogamous relationship - there's too much wierd crap (and scary women) out there, and I couldn't hurt my wife like that..

Just to play Devil's Advocate:

If monogamy is not in our genes, explain jealousy over partners...that is something that is as old as time and has nothing to do with culturally imposed limitations.

 

[yowolabi]

Originally posted by: Queasy

Originally posted by: SuperSix
I don't think monogamy is in our genes, it is a culture-imposed limitation. THat being said, I prefer a monogamous relationship - there's too much wierd crap (and scary women) out there, and I couldn't hurt my wife like that..

Just to play Devil's Advocate:

If monogamy is not in our genes, explain jealousy over partners...that is something that is as old as time and has nothing to do with culturally imposed limitations.

I mentioned some African cultures, and completely forgot about the Mormons as examples of polygamy in practice.

I would disagree that this has nothing to do with culturally imposed limitations.

In the cultures where polygamy is practiced, women are often not jealous of each other. When women grow up expecting to be in a polygamous relationship, their relationship with other wives is often a friendly one. In one culture I know of, being the first wife gives you a higher status and more power in the household. If an unmarried guy is seeing multiple women, then there will be jealousy, but it's more about power than jealousy over having to share.

 

[giguana]

Originally posted by: yowolabi

Originally posted by: Queasy

Originally posted by: SuperSix
I don't think monogamy is in our genes, it is a culture-imposed limitation. THat being said, I prefer a monogamous relationship - there's too much wierd crap (and scary women) out there, and I couldn't hurt my wife like that..

Just to play Devil's Advocate:

If monogamy is not in our genes, explain jealousy over partners...that is something that is as old as time and has nothing to do with culturally imposed limitations.

I mentioned some African cultures, and completely forgot about the Mormons as examples of polygamy in practice.

I would disagree that this has nothing to do with culturally imposed limitations.

In the cultures where polygamy is practiced, women are often not jealous of each other. When women grow up expecting to be in a polygamous relationship, their relationship with other wives is often a friendly one. In one culture I know of, being the first wife gives you a higher status and more power in the household. If an unmarried guy is seeing multiple women, then there will be jealousy, but it's more about power than jealousy over having to share.

to cut the flames off at the pass, mormon polygamy wasn't about having the most wives, or having multiple partners to sleep with. 90% of mormon polygamists(back when it was practiced) were there for financial support. there were many men killed in the midwest, while the mormon pioneers were trecking accross the nation, which made a lot of women and children without a means of financial support. so the men that could afford to provide for those widows and children would take them in and keep them fed and sheltered. it had nothing to do with having a different wife to sleep with for each day of the week.

 

[0roo0roo]

sure we have multiple partners. we have chains of relationships and divorces

 

[Geekbabe]

I just wish that when men decided to cheat that they'd take their dirty laundry and bills along with them for the other woman to deal with.

 

[Skel]

Originally posted by: jcwagers
Monogamous is DEFINITELY the way to go. 😀

Same here, I believe that it's part of respect that you show your mate....

 

[Alphazero]

Real men truly love one woman.

 

[WinkOsmosis]

The answer to this is quite simple... if you don't want a monogamous relationship, don't marry a woman who wants a monogamous relationship.

Monogamy/pologamy/whatever are NOT biological. What is biological is sex drive, nothing as complicated as psychological/cultural need to have lots of partners.

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: eakers
EDIT: I MEAN YES.
ONE WOMAN PER MAN.

men are dogs dammit.

Bad experience recently?

Anyway, more on topic: I firmly believe in monogamy. First of all, it's hard enough maintaining a relationship with one woman. I don't even want to think about what multiple women would entail. Secondly, in a good realtionship, there's nothing left to be given to a second woman; everything you are is already given to the woman with whom you're in a relationship. On at least some level a relationship is about falling into one another, and you simply cannot fall into two people at once.

ZV