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Should men only be with one woman? (ie monogamous marriage)

A

Arkitech

Diamond Member
Before you flame me hear me out


I was thinking about this after reading the post about choosing your child's gender.

OK its a fact that there are more women than it is men, almost twice as many women I think. Is'nt it ironic how many men have problems remaining in monogamous relationships? This is not to say that every man is seeking to be with multiple women, but I've always found it interesting that men are MUCH more likely to seek out multiple partners even though they are already in relationships as opposed to women who for the most part are content with one partner. This obviously is not a hard and fast rule but I don't think it would be hard to prove that men are more likely to cheat as opposed to women.

Could this be some kind of natural instinct among human males? Is it a life preservation type of thing?



Edit: Let me add the disclaimer that I'm faithful to my wife



🙂
 
Originally posted by: Reliant
In nature the males seek out multiple partners but I would like to think that we have risen above that.
Click to expand...

It seems like it should be that way but I'll be damned if I can't count at least 20 guys who skipped out or cheated on their significant other
 
Originally posted by: DeafeningSilence
Originally posted by: Skoorb
OK its a fact that there are more women than it is men, almost twice as many women I think.
Click to expand...
WTF? Worldwide there's something like 52% to 48% or so.
Click to expand...

Even less of a difference... I think it's 51%-49%.

Sorry, but that makes for a pretty poor argument.
Click to expand...



I think thats way off, in China alone the female population outnumbers males by quite a bit
 
Originally posted by: Arkitech
Originally posted by: DeafeningSilence
Originally posted by: Skoorb
OK its a fact that there are more women than it is men, almost twice as many women I think.
Click to expand...
WTF? Worldwide there's something like 52% to 48% or so.
Click to expand...

Even less of a difference... I think it's 51%-49%.

Sorry, but that makes for a pretty poor argument.
Click to expand...



I think thats way off, in China alone the female population outnumbers males by quite a bit
Click to expand...
I think there may be more males in China than females since that's what parents want. I've seen the numbers but if I'm in the wrong direction it's still not much more than a 10% diff!
 
If the guy gets to play around on the side, the woman does too. Fair's fair. 😉

Honestly, if you're (I'm speaking generally....not you specifically Ark) having serious problems remaining faithful to your spouse, you have some issues to work out. It's natural to be notice and be attracted to other women and such, but to actually give in to those impulses is totally unforgiveable IMO. Married is married. You made that commitment for life and to that person only. If you can't live up to that at least annul the marriage before you hop in someone else's bed.

As for why, I guess you could make a case for the male "spread the seed around" thing that every other species does, but honestly I think it's more in line with the men being easily sucked in by the "shiny new thing". New, unknown, different woman = immediately fascinating and desirable.


OT- You're just Mr. Random Questions aren't you? 😉
 
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Originally posted by: Arkitech
Originally posted by: DeafeningSilence
Originally posted by: Skoorb
OK its a fact that there are more women than it is men, almost twice as many women I think.
Click to expand...
WTF? Worldwide there's something like 52% to 48% or so.
Click to expand...

Even less of a difference... I think it's 51%-49%.

Sorry, but that makes for a pretty poor argument.
Click to expand...



I think thats way off, in China alone the female population outnumbers males by quite a bit
Click to expand...
I think there may be more males in China than females since that's what parents want. I've seen the numbers but if I'm in the wrong direction it's still not much more than a 10% diff!
Click to expand...

You are correct. I have heard stories about Chinese men going to other Asian countries to find brides because the pickings are slim.
 
Originally posted by: Arkitech
Originally posted by: Reliant
In nature the males seek out multiple partners but I would like to think that we have risen above that.
Click to expand...

It seems like it should be that way but I'll be damned if I can't count at least 20 guys who skipped out or cheated on their significant other
Click to expand...

It has been my experience that women cheat almost as much as the men.
 
Originally posted by: Fausto1
If the guy gets to play around on the side, the woman does too. Fair's fair. 😉

Honestly, if you're (I'm speaking generally....not you specifically Ark) having serious problems remaining faithful to your spouse, you have some issues to work out. It's natural to be notice and be attracted to other women and such, but to actually give in to those impulses is totally unforgiveable IMO. Married is married. You made that commitment for life and to that person only. If you can't live up to that at least annul the marriage before you hop in someone else's bed.

As for why, I guess you could make a case for the male "spread the seed around" thing that every other species does, but honestly I think it's more in line with the men being easily sucked in by the "shiny new thing". New, unknown, different woman = immediately fascinating and desirable.


OT- You're just Mr. Random Questions aren't you? 😉
Click to expand...

heh heh thats me Mr Random


I just find it interesting that men are much more likely to sacrifice a relationship for sex with a different woman, I've heard of women doing it to just not as frequently

 
Originally posted by: Arkitech
Originally posted by: Fausto1
If the guy gets to play around on the side, the woman does too. Fair's fair. 😉

Honestly, if you're (I'm speaking generally....not you specifically Ark) having serious problems remaining faithful to your spouse, you have some issues to work out. It's natural to be notice and be attracted to other women and such, but to actually give in to those impulses is totally unforgiveable IMO. Married is married. You made that commitment for life and to that person only. If you can't live up to that at least annul the marriage before you hop in someone else's bed.

As for why, I guess you could make a case for the male "spread the seed around" thing that every other species does, but honestly I think it's more in line with the men being easily sucked in by the "shiny new thing". New, unknown, different woman = immediately fascinating and desirable.


OT- You're just Mr. Random Questions aren't you? 😉
Click to expand...

heh heh thats me Mr Random


I just find it interesting that men are much more likely to sacrifice a relationship for sex with a different woman, I've heard of women doing it to just not as frequently
Click to expand...
Eakers is right....men are dogs. Most of us are slaves to the tiny brain.

 
FYI, not all animals "spread their seed around"... there are many in the animal kingdom that form lifelong, monogamous bonds


EDIT: damn typos
 
It has been my experience that women cheat almost as much as the men
Click to expand...

Yep. But the two sexes differ greatly in "how they do it."

Men = usually not afraid to "sh1t where they eat" i.e. cheat with woman that lives in same neighborhood, or at work...someone "close to home" at anytime

Women = much more slick about it. Will wait to go on a business trip and pick someone up at the convention, or wait until man is out of town (I live/work in a tourist/convention town and industry and see this all the time.)
 
The real argument isnt based on there being more women then men.

It's based on the fact that men can impregnate multiple women on any given day, while once a women is knocked up, she's off the market for 9 months.

From a biological standpoint, it makes sense for many to try and sleep with as many women as possible.

From other standpoints, it doesnt make as much sense....... especially my fiancee's standpoint🙂
 
Originally posted by: ILikeStuff
FYI, not all animals "spread their seed around"... there are many in the animal kingdom that for lifelong, monogamous bonds
Click to expand...

True...I was just kind of making a general reference for the sake of the "that's why guys do what they do" argument. Especially since our nearest cousins, chimps, boink each other like bunnies. No monogomy happening there.
 
Given that both monogamy and marriage are cultural institutions, the answer to the question depends on your cultural imprinting. If the nuclear family is the accepted means of raising children, then monogamy is likely the appropriate means for encouraging the stability of family relationships. If, however, our culture fostered and encouraged the communal upbringing of children, then the free exchange of sexual partners could easily become the cultural norm, and we'd be having this discussion from an entirely different point of view.
 
Originally posted by: Saltin
The real argument isnt based on there being more women then men.

It's based on the fact that men can impregnate multiple women on any given day, while once a women is knocked up, she's off the market for 9 months.

From a biological standpoint, it makes sense for many to try and sleep with as many women as possible.

From other standpoints, it doesnt make as much sense....... especially my fiancee's standpoint🙂
Click to expand...

And from a financial standpoint, it doesn't make sense once you are married...especially if you have a child. Between paying out money for the wife to keep her 'standard of living' and for all the child support, you'll be living in a one room apartment and driving a Yugo if you're lucky.
 
Originally posted by: Queasy
Originally posted by: Saltin
The real argument isnt based on there being more women then men.

It's based on the fact that men can impregnate multiple women on any given day, while once a women is knocked up, she's off the market for 9 months.

From a biological standpoint, it makes sense for many to try and sleep with as many women as possible.

From other standpoints, it doesnt make as much sense....... especially my fiancee's standpoint🙂
Click to expand...

And from a financial standpoint, it doesn't make sense once you are married...especially if you have a child. Between paying out money for the wife to keep her 'standard of living' and for all the child support, you'll be living in a one room apartment and driving a Yugo if you're lucky.
Click to expand...

Or working two jobs....*whistles*
 
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