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Should I put my ex in jail on Christmas Day? **Update 12-27***

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I think its pretty simple. If she were the father and you were the mother, nearly everyone telling you not to do it would be singing a different tune. Throwing her in jail will not only make you feel like you finally did SOMETHING, but on top of that it will show her that you're not joking around when you tell her that you don't want her involved in your daughters life at all.

If your daughter gets mad about it, that is her perogative and there is nothing that you can do about it. However, you have to remember that your responsibilities as a parent to your child come before your responsibilities as a friend to her. Allowing this woman access to your child is just enabling the same behavior to continue.

Lock her up, and if you can, have her deported. Obviously the UK was more important to her than her daughter, so she should be happy over there.
 
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: ergeorge


Uhmm ... you're comparing speeding and copyright violations to repeated attempts to kidnap a child and remove her from the country?
Somebody needs a dose of perspective
rolleye.gif
Click to expand...

So there are some laws that can be broken and some that can't? As a Christian I thought any stealing was a sin....I never knew God used a sliding scale.

shoo!
Click to expand...

That is true if you're a christian....but we're talking about United States Law and the last time I checked, it doesn't always run parallel to christian ideals........
 
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: ergeorge


Uhmm ... you're comparing speeding and copyright violations to repeated attempts to kidnap a child and remove her from the country?
Somebody needs a dose of perspective
rolleye.gif
Click to expand...

So there are some laws that can be broken and some that can't? As a Christian I thought any stealing was a sin....I never knew God used a sliding scale.

shoo!
Click to expand...

Well, we weren't talking about God's laws here ... AFAIK, he doesn't issue arrest warrents anyway.
But yes, I believe there is a sliding scale ... shoplifting some tic-tacs shouldn't get you the chair or hell, some murders should get you both.

How the hell can you say that speeding is the moral or legal equivalent of kidnapping a child? If that's Christianity, I'll have to reconsider.
 
So, how long is she going to spend in jail? Is this just a weekend thing, or is she looking at an extended stay as a guest of our states wonderful criminal justice system?
 
If I were in PliableMoose's shoes, I would not hesitate to get this woman arrested. It sounds like she has completely lost it and her sole reason for wanting to meet her daughter is to alienate her from Moose (presuming that she has worked out by now that kidnapping will not work). Her past record does not bode well for her. You'd have to be incredibly naive and foolish to think that she just wants to meet the daughter because she misses her. Considering her current mental state, I would not let her near the kid. She is unstable, abusive and unrepentant. Was there ever an honest apology for all the pain and suffering she has caused? Most likely not. From the sounds of it she is one messed-up woman who needs some serious help before she should be allowed to socially interact with ANYONE, let alone her family.

Alkemyst, you really should stop your lame attempts at trolling, it's quite pathetic, especially the way you tried to drag religion into it. You have no reason to suggest Pliablemoose is being untruthful.
 
Originally posted by: alkemyst
I hope you two revel in the long lasting effects your slugfest has on your daughter.

I am more and more thinking your ex may be the innocent one in all this despite your story otherwise.

If the courts believed she was a danger they would have made that so in the divorce that she has no access to the children.

Å
Click to expand...

The courts have said my ex can have visitation, I agreed to flexible visitation in the US. She cannot leave the US with our child without leaving a $5K deposit with my lawyer.

The courts rarely take away parental rights, nor do I necessarily want them taken away, children tend to develop an idealized fantasy about the absent parent and make life very difficult for the step parent (step parent cannot measure up to the fantasy parent).

Daughter & ex have regular phone contact (@ least once a week on Sundays) & I offered & the courts agreed that since she's now prohibited from contacting the child @ school, that she can have virtually unlimited phone contact with her. I also have an international calling plan that only charges 5 cents/minute so our daughter can call her when she desires.

I feel the danger of kidnapping is past @ this point, but the matter of the outstanding warrant is unresolved. Every time I've tried to be nice or look the other way, I've gotten bitch slapped by her, so I've developed a zero tolerance for her BS.

BTW alkemyst, some of the reasons I was awarded custody of my daughter (one of the 1% of men in Texas awarded custody in a disputed case in Texas & I didn't have a high dollar lawyer either, just a good one):

I spent every weekend (pick up on Friday evening, & take back to school on Monday morning to a town 30 miles away) & every Weds (overnight & took to school on Thursday am) for 2 years with her. I'd pick her up in a filthy home with rotting food on the table & counters, paid 20% of my salary in child support, but had to buy clothes for the child nearly every visit, took her to every Dr's appointment.

The one that made me cry, was when her teachers pulled me aside one day (I was trying to do a drop & run, cuz I was always late for work witht he extra driving) & said they were worried about her, that she wasn't getting her homework done, she was on in school suspension for not completing her homework, and they were concerned about how she was dressed & fed @ home. They'd heard about me (through my daughter) and asked me to attempt to gain custody.

The weird thing was that this all came about as the ex was preparing to move to England secretly with our child (because of course I should pay child support to help her make ends meet in England) The Chief of Security form the hospital she was working @ found me @ work & gave me the date of her resignation & a tenative flight date (he could have been fired for telling me) & I hired a lawyer, we filed a restraining order, & with my GF (current wife) went for custody.

I had the local police in court & her principal when we had the custody hearing, but it being a small town, they just talked to the judge in chambers about what they saw & the judge let my ex rant on the stand for a while & granted me custody, after being divorced for several years.

Daughter has gone from in school suspension to gifted classes within 30 days of my assuming custody. She has pulled straight A's for years now & has completed 3 gifted summer school sessions (residential programs hundreds of miles from home, that freaking kill me when I send her).

One more side note, my wife married me on the day we went for custody @ 8:00 am on a Thursday. We'd been dating for ~2 years, fantasized about getting married and being awarded custody of my daughter. The minister pulled me aside after the ceremony & asked why we had the service on a Thursday morning @ 8am commenting "I've never done this before." We were in a hurry to get to court & I told him I'd talk with him later & tell him a story, went to court, started the hearing, & noticed he was there. He heard 1/2 a day's worth of testimony, and caught up with me in the hallway @ lunch, (he was there for another case) & walked up & gave new wife & I a big hug & said a prayer with us.

The worst question I got asked in court was "Did you get married today in an attempt to look more stable to the courts?" I answered truthfully, "Yes" and left the lawyer no-where to go, he just stood there like I'd punched him in the stomach, it was priceless. I'd spent to much time, money & been too honest to start lying😀

The only 2 things that heve kept me out of trouble in the courts have been that I've been brutally honest with my lawyers & judges & a zero tolerance for BS from the ex
 
Originally posted by: Dr Smooth
Will throwing her in jail really help your situation?
Click to expand...

I guess not, but it sould make for some good pics...

BTW, here's kiddo's grades as of this am:

Progress Report For Pliablemoose's kid as of 12/19/03

Summary Report

PERIOD 1(A): ALGEBRA I - 8 (Teachers: )
Current Grade: 96 Absences: 0 Tardies: 0
Teacher Comment: Good Student.

PERIOD 1(B): SOCIAL STUDIES - 8 (Teachers: )
Current Grade: 95 Absences: 0 Tardies: 0
Teacher Comment: Good Student.

PERIOD 2(A): HONOR BAND - 8TH (Teachers: )
Current Grade: 99 Absences: 0 Tardies: 0

PERIOD 2(B): SCIENCE - 8 (Teachers: )
Current Grade: 100 Absences: 0 Tardies: 0

PERIOD 3(A): MUSIC/CHOIR-T-SELECT (Teachers: )
Current Grade: 100 Absences: 0 Tardies: 0

PERIOD 3(B): SPANISH I (Teachers: )
Current Grade: 94 Absences: 0 Tardies: 0

PERIOD 4(A): READING - 8 (Teachers: )
Current Grade: 91 Absences: 0 Tardies: 0

PERIOD 4(B): LANGUAGE - 8 (Teachers: )
Current Grade: 91 Absences: 0 Tardies: 0


 
Moose - seems like the kid is better off without the mother's control.

Question I have about the arrest warrant - why? (I may have missed the explaination within the thread).

Is it due to something against you, your daughter or something else. Would the arrest be for revenge or safety?
 
I voted for tossing her ass in the clink, but have a question.

Does your daughter know anything about this? Does she know her "mother" is in the states?
 
Originally posted by: bunker
I voted for tossing her ass in the clink, but have a question.

Does your daughter know anything about this? Does she know her "mother" is in the states?
Click to expand...

Yes, she knows her mom's in the states, I'll arrange for a visit when the arrest warrant is satisified.

 
Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
Originally posted by: bunker
I voted for tossing her ass in the clink, but have a question.

Does your daughter know anything about this? Does she know her "mother" is in the states?
Click to expand...

Yes, she knows her mom's in the states, I'll arrange for a visit when the arrest warrant is satisified.
Click to expand...

:Q If this is what you would do to the mother of your children... Im very scared for the guy who might break your girl's little heart later in life 🙁


/gonna watch out for g/f's who have hairless cats 😛 😉
 
Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
Originally posted by: bunker
I voted for tossing her ass in the clink, but have a question.

Does your daughter know anything about this? Does she know her "mother" is in the states?
Click to expand...

Yes, she knows her mom's in the states, I'll arrange for a visit when the arrest warrant is satisified.
Click to expand...

Moose - be very careful on a mother daughter visit.

To do so while the ex is in the big house could generate an emotional trama for your duaghter. Expecially if the ex accuses you (as she surely will) of putting her there (no matter what the reason). This is from experience with a nephew/neice regarding white collar incident.

It would be best to not let the daughter see the mother time in the slammer unless the sentence will be a long. I suspect that she would be held until a proper hearing is handled. Key is why the warrant and the circumstances of it.

What is the girls reaction to the fact that the mother is in the states? Is she aware that the mother would like to visit her?
 
she's got a warrant out for her arrest? wouldn't it be obstruction of the law if you didn't have her arrested??
it seems you have no choice... besides, 70%+ voted for you have her arrested... you KNOW ATOT can't be that far off...😉

edit:btw, congrats on having a smart kid.. those are some outstanding grades... must make a parent proud...
 
QUOTE]Couldn't let this one go by without a response.

My ex is the devil incarnate & attempted to kidnap our child 2X after she moved to the UK:

Little things like:

Showing up in the states, calling @ the regular time, asking a 9 year old what time school gets out tomorrow while still in posession of the child's passport. Heard the child's end of the conversation & looked @ the caller ID to determine it was a local, not an overseas call.

Sending a friend of our child's & her mom over to ask if she could do an overnight (unannounced from 30 miles away) I wouldnt let her go, then get a call from my lawyer the next day, asking me if I knew my ex was in the states. Then 2 years later, looking @ pictures from the UK, we notice my ex's older son in a picture and asked how he got to the UK, turns out they had an extra ticket & let him use it.

Being hauled up in front of a judge on 13 seperate counts of contempt, all bogus and having them all dismissed.

Being forced to ask the courts, State Dept, The Home Office in the UK to: Force the ex to surrender the passport or go to jail, put our daughter on a "Do Not Issue a replacement Passport list", and have the UK agree to not issue a passport for the child if the mother requested one.

Spending thousands of dollars every freaking time I have to go to court (the equivalent of a college education 2X over) Because I'm drug back into court for some BS.

She'd pay child support in British Pounds by check so I couldn't cash the freaking check without a 45 minute wait for the bank to ensure what the exchange rate was & make sure it didn't bounce.

I've offered the bitch everything & sat with the judge this year negotiating a visitation schedule that would allow the child contact with our daughter, yet protect the child @ the same time. We had to put in a limit to calling the child @ school, cause she'd call the child @ school, have her pulled out of class into the guidance counsellor's office after she lied to the woman & said she had no contact with the child by phone for months, and feed the child full of BS.

She currently has unlimited phone access to the child, but refuses to call her on a cell phone when we're not @ home, because it's "inconvenient" for her.

I've called for 2 days trying to tell her our child was sick & I had to take her to the Dr. (I am obligated to do so by the court) to only be hung up on 10 freaking times after they (she or her new husband scream @ me).

My insurance co pay is $15, regular mail is ignored, registered mail costs $9, so even if the bitch pays 50% of the co-pay, I lose $ to even ask her to pay what she owes. Christ almighty, it could be as simple as a free email to keep things straight.

I've offered to forgo child support, and been told to go to hell, so frankly, I use it as leverage to keep the bitch in line.

I've come to court with a stack of returned registered letters with bills in them and had her deny refusing them.

I've been stuck in an unbelievably stressful situation for years, and respectfully retain the right to protect myself & my child with any legal means necessary.

Rant mode off...[/QUOTE]


And that's one side of the story. It sounds to me that you try to be a good and responsible parent and that your child doesn't want for anything...except a mother. Clearly, you and your ex despise one another, and I have no doubt that if she were on this message board to defend herself she could make you sound like someone who is using your daughter to punish her out of spitefulness.

My point is, I've taught hundreds of kids in the same sort of situation that your daughter is in and believe me, it hurts them deeply. She's 14 years old and that's old enough to tell the bullshit from the truth. If she talks to her mother on the phone, then why are you trying to deny the mother access to her face-to-face because of any crap she might try to tell her? Couldn't she just tell her that on the phone? Isn't your daughter not only capable of deciding what kind of a relationship she has with her mother, but isn't she entitled to the opportunity to make that decision? In all those complaints you made about her, not once did you say that your daughter did not want to see her.

I can't believe you're getting kudos from people around here for threatening to have her mother arrested on Christmas Day! Can any of you honestly say that wouldn't have shaken you up badly when you were 14?
 
Originally posted by: montanafan
QUOTE]Couldn't let this one go by without a response.

My ex is the devil incarnate & attempted to kidnap our child 2X after she moved to the UK:
Click to expand...

Exactly....no matter how much the anti-christ, criminal, whore their mother is, kid's will always love their mothers, often much more than their dad's even if they are a better parent (if a son, girls do tend to favor the father, however this seems very age dependant)...

I say be the better person and keep the kid safe, but don't actively seek retribution.

If you want retribution do that and be done with it forever and may God have mercy on your soul.

Å
 
LockadaBeetchUpa

She's an unfit parent and will screw up your daughter if she's allowed to come into contact with her. See if you can get her deported
 
You should ask the court to hold her in jail until she can come up with the funds to pay you all the back child support she owes you.
 
Originally posted by: rahvin
You should ask the court to hold her in jail until she can come up with the funds to pay you all the back child support she owes you.
Click to expand...

Problem with that option is that unless she has other assets beyond a salary, it can not happen.

 
Originally posted by: montanafan
QUOTE]Couldn't let this one go by without a response.

My ex is the devil incarnate & attempted to kidnap our child 2X after she moved to the UK:

Little things like:

Showing up in the states, calling @ the regular time, asking a 9 year old what time school gets out tomorrow while still in posession of the child's passport. Heard the child's end of the conversation & looked @ the caller ID to determine it was a local, not an overseas call.

Sending a friend of our child's & her mom over to ask if she could do an overnight (unannounced from 30 miles away) I wouldnt let her go, then get a call from my lawyer the next day, asking me if I knew my ex was in the states. Then 2 years later, looking @ pictures from the UK, we notice my ex's older son in a picture and asked how he got to the UK, turns out they had an extra ticket & let him use it.

Being hauled up in front of a judge on 13 seperate counts of contempt, all bogus and having them all dismissed.

Being forced to ask the courts, State Dept, The Home Office in the UK to: Force the ex to surrender the passport or go to jail, put our daughter on a "Do Not Issue a replacement Passport list", and have the UK agree to not issue a passport for the child if the mother requested one.

Spending thousands of dollars every freaking time I have to go to court (the equivalent of a college education 2X over) Because I'm drug back into court for some BS.

She'd pay child support in British Pounds by check so I couldn't cash the freaking check without a 45 minute wait for the bank to ensure what the exchange rate was & make sure it didn't bounce.

I've offered the bitch everything & sat with the judge this year negotiating a visitation schedule that would allow the child contact with our daughter, yet protect the child @ the same time. We had to put in a limit to calling the child @ school, cause she'd call the child @ school, have her pulled out of class into the guidance counsellor's office after she lied to the woman & said she had no contact with the child by phone for months, and feed the child full of BS.

She currently has unlimited phone access to the child, but refuses to call her on a cell phone when we're not @ home, because it's "inconvenient" for her.

I've called for 2 days trying to tell her our child was sick & I had to take her to the Dr. (I am obligated to do so by the court) to only be hung up on 10 freaking times after they (she or her new husband scream @ me).

My insurance co pay is $15, regular mail is ignored, registered mail costs $9, so even if the bitch pays 50% of the co-pay, I lose $ to even ask her to pay what she owes. Christ almighty, it could be as simple as a free email to keep things straight.

I've offered to forgo child support, and been told to go to hell, so frankly, I use it as leverage to keep the bitch in line.

I've come to court with a stack of returned registered letters with bills in them and had her deny refusing them.

I've been stuck in an unbelievably stressful situation for years, and respectfully retain the right to protect myself & my child with any legal means necessary.

Rant mode off...
Click to expand...


And that's one side of the story. It sounds to me that you try to be a good and responsible parent and that your child doesn't want for anything...except a mother. Clearly, you and your ex despise one another, and I have no doubt that if she were on this message board to defend herself she could make you sound like someone who is using your daughter to punish her out of spitefulness.

My point is, I've taught hundreds of kids in the same sort of situation that your daughter is in and believe me, it hurts them deeply. She's 14 years old and that's old enough to tell the bullshit from the truth. If she talks to her mother on the phone, then why are you trying to deny the mother access to her face-to-face because of any crap she might try to tell her? Couldn't she just tell her that on the phone? Isn't your daughter not only capable of deciding what kind of a relationship she has with her mother, but isn't she entitled to the opportunity to make that decision? In all those complaints you made about her, not once did you say that your daughter did not want to see her.

I can't believe you're getting kudos from people around here for threatening to have her mother arrested on Christmas Day! Can any of you honestly say that wouldn't have shaken you up badly when you were 14?[/quote]

Nope my mom divorced the loser when I was 3, he died from a drug related disease a few years later on the west coast. He never really payed any child support either, just stopped in to beat on my mom occasionally...I am better off for not having known him, although I am grateful for having known his parents and sister whom I still visit and spent my childhood summers with.

Your kid's mom is a loser and separating the loser from the kid's life is the best decision he can make. She still needs a female parental/role model though. My suggestion is to find a woman and have her legally adopt her. when your daughter is more mature then she can be told about her mom and even introduced. She would probably be thankful that you saved her from having her in her life.
 
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