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Should I put my ex in jail on Christmas Day? **Update 12-27***
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If your wife really cared about your daughter and simply wanted to see her, but the conflict between you two was hampering that - I would say don't throw her in jail. However, it seems more likeyour wife wants your daughter to hurt you, not necessarily because she loves her. She sounds pretty emotionally unstable and messed up - throw her in jail.
Pliablemoose
Lifer
The supervised visitation option comes up now & again, who should supervise? My ex would not allow me to supervise & there isn't anyone else who wants to baby sit a lunatic.
Courts rarely order supervised visitation because it's nearly impossible to make it work.
She'll run so fast afterwards, The law won't be able to catch up with her. I don't have any reason to keep them waiting & I don't think they'll wait around & drink egg nog till the police arrive, & I don't think even I could pull off something that evil🙁
Plus, if it works the way I want it to, our daughter won't be around to witness anything.
Pliablemoose
Lifer
LOL
Address/question your statements point by point:
1) Visitation:
a) Has the court allowed visits? - If yes, you should try to comply to allow her to see the daughter.
b) Are supervised visits called for? - If yes, has the court made any statement on who/how.
Assuming that the lunatic is your ex
2) Are the grandparents your folks.
If so, can they perform the supervision for an hour or so. I think a concern is to ensure that she does not try to take off with the child.
How far away are they.
3) If your ex arrives by auto, the auto should be able to be prevented from leaving by being blocked in.
4) The law seems willing to work with you. Could you perform #3 and call them(let then know) when just before the visitation is over.
My concern is that the child should be allowed to see the mother. But I agree that she does not need to see the results of the law enforcement action.
Pliablemoose
Lifer
If I attempt to modify her attempt @ a visit ie: supervised, it'll get real nasty real quick, we're talking screaming, gnashing of teeth, & me having to shoot someone🙁
There are orders for visitation, however, there are also orders for her arrest, the orders for her arrest trump visitation.
The grandparents are step grandparents, they have enough crap on their plate without thrusting them in the middle of this.
They'll park on the street, difficult to block in & I'm sure there'll be 4 or so people with her (her parents, brother, husband etc) I don't want to put anyone in harm's way with autos (although I did consider it, I'll prob be the only one there @ home, tell them the daughter is on her way & just wait for the police to arrive (& warm up the camera)).
Small town cops are pretty cool usually & I'm sure they'll be on top of things, plus I've already talked with the local Chief of police about co-ordinating things & he's on board.
Given the latest information, you do not have any real choice.
Protect the kid and nail the ex.
With additional people backing her up, any chance for a coordinated effort to allow the child to see the mother in a controlled environment could turn nasty. Not worth it.
Concern would be if the arrive and the child is not there, would they take off the the grandparents to see her or be willing to wait for her to arrive.
The law will need to be ready to respond to either situation based on the response of the ex.
Is the town small enough that if she leaves before the law arrives, she could be located or do you know her exact schedule so the law could be drinking egg-nog (unmakred car) when she shows up
Protect the kid and nail the ex.
With additional people backing her up, any chance for a coordinated effort to allow the child to see the mother in a controlled environment could turn nasty. Not worth it.
Concern would be if the arrive and the child is not there, would they take off the the grandparents to see her or be willing to wait for her to arrive.
The law will need to be ready to respond to either situation based on the response of the ex.
Is the town small enough that if she leaves before the law arrives, she could be located or do you know her exact schedule so the law could be drinking egg-nog (unmakred car) when she shows up
Pliablemoose
Lifer
Last time she was to pick up our child, she was 4 hours late (my current wife, GF @ the time, had to wait @ an airport for her to show, 4 freaking hours late🙁).
They don't know where the grandparents live, so the "Just hang on till they get here, I'll make sure they're on their way" should work, & I'll offer some egg nog while they wait, I suspect they'll decline.
Eggnog could be for the law as a thank-you for them waiting. If you insist on eggnog for the ex - make sure that your seperate out the salmonella batch from the batch that you keep for your self. :evil:
Let her know that the child will be at the grandparents. Request that she contact you from the airport so that you can make arrangements for the child to come home. This way you may be able to get a decent time frame so no one cools their heels to long.
If they are flying in, try to obtain the flight number. This way you can check on the status rather than just waiting for the notification.
Do what you feel is right. I voted yes.
HomeBrewerDude
Lifer
my 2 cents.... probably not worth much but...
Why even consider allowing a meeting on Christmas?
1) take the planned christmas meeting OFF the board. make it non-negotiable... It sounds like she has NO leverage on you. Why let her fvck up christmas?
2) agree to a limited, supervised meeting on a later date. Do not leave your child alone with her.
3) confer with your daughter and a family therapist.
Why even consider allowing a meeting on Christmas?
1) take the planned christmas meeting OFF the board. make it non-negotiable... It sounds like she has NO leverage on you. Why let her fvck up christmas?
2) agree to a limited, supervised meeting on a later date. Do not leave your child alone with her.
3) confer with your daughter and a family therapist.
do it
Pliablemoose
Lifer
I paln to allow a visit after the arrest warrant is honored. First things first. I suspect the ex is planning the Christmas day visit so she won't be arrested...
Originally posted by: alkemyst
So we are all to assume you have never ever ever broken or bent any laws? Speeding, downloading software/music, etc.
Are you the Second Coming for Rapture? If so pick me, pick me!
Å
Uhmm ... you're comparing speeding and copyright violations to repeated attempts to kidnap a child and remove her from the country?
Somebody needs a dose of perspective
alkemyst
No Lifer
Originally posted by: ergeorge
Uhmm ... you're comparing speeding and copyright violations to repeated attempts to kidnap a child and remove her from the country?
Somebody needs a dose of perspective
So there are some laws that can be broken and some that can't? As a Christian I thought any stealing was a sin....I never knew God used a sliding scale.
shoo!
If it wasn't for the screaming, cursing conversation you mentioned towards the end there, I would have said to arrest her after a day with her daughter. As it seems she hasn't changed and is still a 100% grade-A bitch, throw her in the slammer. Add to that the attempted kidnapping in the past... oh yeah, get rid of her.
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