Should I give my sperm to a 42 year old lesbian?

[StageLeft]

Originally posted by: Viper GTS
There was a court ruling recently (not in the US, it may have been Canada, but I don't remember for sure...) where a sperm donor was found liable for child support. It was a situation much like this, & the prospect of that is frightening enough to scare me away.

Viper GTS

Um, that's sucky! I wouldn't even try and get papers to counter this, smp. It's just too risky.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: ATLien247
If she can't afford to buy spermsicles from the jizz bank, how can she expect to afford raising a kid?

If she's single, would you knowingly contribute to a kid being raised by a single mom?

This whole situation is just... messed up...

Read the post. He said she'd gone there several times. I don't know what that means, but say she went there 4 times. That's $3200CND. That's no small amount of change. That really starts adding up after a while, and I bet that health insurance doesn't cover a dime of it. All out of pocket.

 

[ATLien247]

Originally posted by: vi_edit

Read the post. He said she'd gone there several times. I don't know what that means, but say she went there 4 times. That's $3200CND. That's no small amount of change. That really starts adding up after a while, and I bet that health insurance doesn't cover a dime of it. All out of pocket.

I did read the post, smartass.

And $3,200CND? What's that... about $50USD?

 

[Blieb]

Originally posted by: Gobadgrs
Hmmm I wouldn't. During Freshman year there was some company paying college kids $150 for sperm. My roommate and I were short on cash, and considered doing it. Getting paid to fäp to a pron magazine sounds like a good deal to a college kid short on cash. Ultimately I decided not to, because I wouldn't want some kid showing up on my doorstep down the road when I have a family, and go, "I'm your son"

There should be plenty of kids for the lesbian to adopt.

Edit: I never considered donating my sperm. But I did fäp a lot my freshman year.

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: glenn1
Don't do it. If she can't afford $800 for in-vitro, she won't be able to afford a child either.

thats true.

almost like having to give up a pet, you don't really want someone who isn't willing to pay an entry fee

 

[glenn1]

That's $3200CND.

That might cover a year's worth of diapers.

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: ATLien247

Originally posted by: vi_edit

And $3,200CND? What's that... about $50USD?

Depends, did Canada raise taxes recently to help pay for the refurbishment of their tank?

Grasshopper

 

[Stark]

pics?

no way.
1. conservative argument: a child should have a mother and father in the home to raise him/her with the highest chance of becoming a productive member of society.

2. middle ground argument: a child should have two committed adults in the home to raise him/her with the hightest chance of becoming an emotionally and mentally fulfilled human being.

 

[Mister T]

PICS?

 

[psychade]

Bringing a child into the world shouldn't be a trip off the beaten trail to make life fun imho. Its your kid whether you admit to it or not.

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

I am female but thought I would input here anyhow!

I personally don't think it is a good idea for all the reasons above. In 18 years time, legal issues aside, this child could show up on your doorstep. Nothing in completely anonymous. NOTHING! Understandably, she wants a child. Well, with all the parentless children out there, I think adoption would be her best bet. There are millions of children out there looking for homes!

AND if sperm banks are not currently working for her, what's to say that yours will? Then you are faced with "Well, did it work?", "Is my unknown child running around?" For some people that would bother them, for others it may not. That is the sort of thing you are faced with!

Just some issues....it is a complicated topic with many many sides.

 

[kranky]

Just to clarify my previous post - what I meant was that even if the mother signs papers from now until Christmas, some court might decide that she doesn't have the power to sign away what the child has a right to - child support. So even though the mother agrees not to request child support, a court could find that the child IS entitled to it regardless.

 

[smp]

Originally posted by: kranky
Just to clarify my previous post - what I meant was that even if the mother signs papers from now until Christmas, some court might decide that she doesn't have the power to sign away what the child has a right to - child support. So even though the mother agrees not to request child support, a court could find that the child IS entitled to it regardless.

Thank you, that's very helpful.

Yes, she has been to the 'jizz bank' many a time and it has added up. Not quite sure how many times but yeah, she's getting on in years and may not be as fertile as she once was, if at all. If I agreed to this, I would be willing to try several times, no big deal, what's the difference between once and a few times.

Bringing a child into the world shouldn't be a trip off the beaten trail to make life fun imho. Its your kid whether you admit to it or not.

Point taken. That's not my sole motivation though, this isn't supposed to make life fun, forget I said that, it came out wrong.

I'd stay away from this situation. There's absolutely no good which can come of it for you.

Profit is not my only motivatoin in life. Be it financial or otherwise. I do believe in helping people 'with nothing to gain' for myself, why not?

 

[MomAndSkoorbaby]

It would be an undeniably completely selfless act...not something I could do anyhow!

What do your friends and family thing?

 

[jjones]

Bad idea. The woman has options and if those options are not affordable than neither is child-rearing. Besides, you don't want 18 years of a possible court case hanging over your head. You might very well find yourself seeking a lawyer one day because of this.

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: smp

Profit is not my only motivatoin in life. Be it financial or otherwise. I do believe in helping people 'with nothing to gain' for myself, why not?

The stop thinking of the woman and start thinking of the child. What is in the best interest of the unborn child?

Grasshopper

 

[WinkOsmosis]

Originally posted by: Stark
pics?

no way.
1. conservative argument: a child should have a mother and father in the home to raise him/her with the highest chance of becoming a productive member of society.

2. middle ground argument: a child should have two committed adults in the home to raise him/her with the hightest chance of becoming an emotionally and mentally fulfilled human being.

Both of those are wrong. If you grew up in the 50s, when dad brought home the bacon and mom baked cookies, who raised you? The idea of who parents raising a kid and "emotionally and mentally fullfilled human blah blah blah" is very 90s.
Don't base your decision on socially created concepts. I don't know that I'd do it, but you seem to like the idea..

 

[smp]

The stop thinking of the woman and start thinking of the child. What is in the best interest of the unborn child?

I am not god, so I don't know.

Don't base your decision on socially created concepts. I don't know that I'd do it, but you seem to like the idea..

Yes, I do like the idea for some fvcked up reason. This woman is a stranger, to me... but, she is a good friend of someone I work with and respect. My coworker brought it up with me and she says that this woman would be an excellent mother. My coworker happens to be an excellent mom, so I can trust her judgement. Like I said though, I can't really judge anyways (the would-be mother, or the child's best interests).
I am weirded out by the logistics though. If I meet this woman, then I kind of want to get to know her before signing anything. Who knows, maybe I discover that she's a complete b!tch and that there is no way in hell that I would help her out. Still though, some words in this thread are making me decide against it, mostly the legal worries.

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: smp
The stop thinking of the woman and start thinking of the child. What is in the best interest of the unborn child?

I am not god, so I don't know.

Then you shouldn't be making babies... Parents know these things...

If you help here, you're responsible for this child, legal issues aside, you helped bring him/her into the world, what kind of life this kid has is your responsibility.

Grasshopper

 

[ultimatebob]

Originally posted by: smp

Originally posted by: kranky
How can you be sure that you won't be liable for child support down the road? After all, your identity is known to the mother. Even if she agrees not to want it, who knows if a court-appointed lawyer might someday decide to jump in on the child's behalf? What if the child has some genetic ailment and needs family medical history, and shows up at your door one day?

That's the only thing I'm worried about. That's why I'de have her get a lawyer and write up papers for signage.

edit: I also wouldn't give her any personal info that might be trackable, ie, name etc .. maybe just my first name. She really wants to raise the kid herself, she doesn't want the father to have anything to do with it, that's why she's having problems finding a donor.

Let me get this straight... you won't give her a name, but you would be willing to give her a container filled with DNA evidence that can be used to track you down?

 

[heartsurgeon]

do not do it.

there is nothing in it for you

you open yourself up to liability

you are crazy to get involved.

she can go to the sperm back. part of the $800 a pop is to cover their legal exposure

your asking for trouble. it's her word against yours if something happens...you could be on the hook for her medical costs, support for the kid, rape charges..

women are unpredictable (mild form of craziness).

 

[MrPhelps]

DNA
DNA
DNA
DNA

 

[deerslayer]

nope

 

[Cyberian]

Originally posted by: Jellomancer

Originally posted by: Stark
pics?

no way.
1. conservative argument: a child should have a mother and father in the home to raise him/her with the highest chance of becoming a productive member of society.

2. middle ground argument: a child should have two committed adults in the home to raise him/her with the hightest chance of becoming an emotionally and mentally fulfilled human being.

Both of those are wrong. If you grew up in the 50s, when dad brought home the bacon and mom baked cookies, who raised you? The idea of who parents raising a kid and "emotionally and mentally fullfilled human blah blah blah" is very 90s.
Don't base your decision on socially created concepts. I don't know that I'd do it, but you seem to like the idea..

I don't understand that question.
Furthermore, those terms you mentioned may be new but the concepts have been around for at least 50 years.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: grasshopper26
The stop thinking of the woman and start thinking of the child. What is in the best interest of the unborn child?

Obviously, the best interests of the unborn child are to not be born in the first place. (Or, is that correct from the unborn child's point of view? Moonbeam?)