Should I Get Back with My Ex?

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bennylong

Platinum Member
Apr 20, 2006
2,493
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Better to be single and beating off then to be stuck in a lousy relationship! At least you can keep your money when you're single. There's always hookers
 

CPA

Elite Member
Nov 19, 2001
30,322
4
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Originally posted by: Paddington
Originally posted by: Aztech
Originally posted by: Paddington
Don't raise another man's seed. That's against evolution, chump.
What about all the kids that need adopting?

Hrmm... Good question. I'm in favor of adoption. But usually the people who adopt are unable of having their own children. Unable to reproduce biologically, their best bet is to adopt another person's child and make it their own by instilling values, culture, etc.

If you're capable of having kids, don't waste your life raising another man's child.



While I agree AZ should run from this situation, there are plenty of men (myself included) who have married women with young children and have not regretted it. Stop lumping every single mother together.
 

JackBurton

Lifer
Jul 18, 2000
15,993
14
81
Originally posted by: Aztech
Man, you guys are rough. Or, I'm a certified loser. Probably the latter. Allright, I'm gonna have to come out and tell her it's over, tomorrow. Edit: even if it means no fooling around this weekend (which I'm sure it will):(

By the Way, I'm 32 and she's 33. The singles club sounds good, I wonder if there's one around here. I haven't done much of anything since we separated. Just work, watch TV, surf the Net.
Dude, I don't mean to be rough, but seriosuly, getting out and doing things with OTHER chicks is the best thing for you. Once you find another girl, you'll wonder how you even thought about getting back with your ex. You just gotta give it time.
 

Slappy00

Golden Member
Jun 17, 2002
1,820
4
81
Originally posted by: Accipiter22
oh my......dude....she's looking for someone to lean on and support her and her new child. Run. Go read slappy's thread about the 8.5 year relationship. He's taking the right attitude (getting on with life, running...swiftly)

Women are the work of the devil, if we didnt need them for sex, we would be hunting them.

well, she started seeing other people and got pregnant in a one-night stand. Now she has a baby that's like 6 months old. She's moved back in with her mother. Now she wants to get back with me.

That's all i needed to read, desperation at it's finest. Honestly it appears that she has run out of options and (much like what can possibly happen in my case) has decided to settle on you. If you enjoy being "good enough" as well as fathering a child that is not yours then go right ahead. I understand how hard it is to let go... believe me, and like a drug each hit you take (no matter how little) makes you want to hang around for more. YOu need to either find a new drug to get hooked on, or just quit it altogether.

Thre are some good suggestions in my thread on how to pick up ladies, and I'm gonna go drinking with my buds this weekend so I'll see how i fair in the "market" so to speak. The big force(s) to keep me in line are my friends and family, who can and will knock sense into me. You absolutlely need to surround yourself with people who care about your well-being, don't do it alone or you will fall prey to old habits.
 

Stumps

Diamond Member
Jun 18, 2001
7,125
0
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Originally posted by: Aztech
Originally posted by: ubergoober
Sounds to me like you are a needy soul. Also sounds to me like your confidence in yourself is SH*T! ..

you ever hear that saying that the first step is admitting you have a problem?.. well in this case the first step is NOT having sex with her. The fact that you WANT/NEED it from her so bad means she has your ass WRAPPED!.

I may have missed it, but how old are you and her?
If you are :
1) <=25y/o .. go clubbin, hang out at the coffee shop, join a gym.. whatever, just get out.. live life.. travel.. find some things to do you wouldn't do normally and try them. Bungee jump, skydive, oil paint... WHATEVER!! .. you WILL meet girls.
2) 26-35y/o ... go blow some money. New sportscar, motorcycle (any flavor), big house (move!! , new neighborhoods = new tail) .. but have a good time. Join a singles club. They are everywhere and do pretty cool activities all the time.
3) >=35y/o .. get serious now. you won't live forever. but sill have fun. and chase tail in the early 30's. They are hitting their sexual prime.

If she is:
<= 25y/o .. ???? you're considering a serious relationship with her WHY? .. wait until women are 28+. By that time they are starting their 'second life' as I like to call it. You can start to tell if they will hold their looks/figure. Also they (hopefully) are independent and not relying on their parents, meaning you either.
26-35y/o .. try before you buy, but good range to consider life long relationships with.
>= 36y/o .. keep your age in mind. You don't want to be 40 and her 65 (the other way around is perfect ;) ). They will be hitting the big "M" soon and women are scary during that. Some lose their libido. That's risky and you want to enjoy more than a few years.

Now.. not everything is based on sex, but since you seem hung up on ruining youself by having it with the ex this weekend, it's focal.
Man, you guys are rough. Or, I'm a certified loser. Probably the latter. Allright, I'm gonna have to come out and tell her it's over, tomorrow. Edit: even if it means no fooling around this weekend (which I'm sure it will):(

By the Way, I'm 32 and she's 33. The singles club sounds good, I wonder if there's one around here. I haven't done much of anything since we separated. Just work, watch TV, surf the Net.

hmmm hard to say...but I would probably guess you are lonely....that can make you do crazy thing(like get back with your ex, which is a big no no).

but don't give in to temptation...nothing good can come of it.

 

saymyname

Golden Member
Jun 9, 2006
1,213
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You guys are mean. I think he should take care of the kid, adopt it, and then adopt the next one that she has with the mailman.
 

T9D

Diamond Member
Dec 1, 2001
5,320
6
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Originally posted by: saymyname
You guys are mean. I think he should take care of the kid, adopt it, and then adopt the next one that she has with the mailman.

:laugh:
 
S

SlitheryDee

Originally posted by: saymyname
You guys are mean. I think he should take care of the kid, adopt it, and then adopt the next one that she has with the mailman.


Considering the state of his common-sense meter, I wouldn't count on his sarcasm meter registering this as a joke.


OP the previous joke is a post. There, that should clear things up...
 

saymyname

Golden Member
Jun 9, 2006
1,213
0
0
Originally posted by: SlitheryDee
Originally posted by: saymyname
You guys are mean. I think he should take care of the kid, adopt it, and then adopt the next one that she has with the mailman.


Considering the state of his common-sense meter, I wouldn't count on his sarcasm meter registering this as a joke.


OP the previous joke is a post. There, that should clear things up...

This guy is obviously making all this up. Nobody is stupid enough to even think about talking to-let alone getting back together with- some whore who leaves you, gets knocked up in a gang bang, and then wants you to raise the bastard child.
 

desiplaya4life

Golden Member
Jan 25, 2004
1,449
2
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No.


look i know its tough. but the answer is NO. atleast in mybook.

i been thru same situation. was w. my ex for couple months.. then broke up because i wasnt feeling the same thing as she did. so we had a mutual break up.. then we stopped talking.. 6-7-11months later? we got reunited and i found out she was w/ a 30yr old guy (she is 20) and got her pregnant and had abortion. before us, she was a virgin. so he was the second guy she was w/ after we broke up she just went bizzark i guess..


main point. i still had feelings for her. i cared for her. she is everything a guy could want. (columbian/lebanese/accent/was a model in columbia for diesel jeans) i was thinking of taking her back but after i found out she got abortions or pregnant or even had sex w/ another man. i couldnt accept her anymore. i mean I DONT take advantage of girls or "sex" buddies so i mean when i am in a relationship i need a clean history, or everything has to be clean. well anyways yea it was really tough again because i hanged around w/ her again and all she wanted was sex. she didnt care about being together as long as i was w/ her. she didnt want to have sex w/ anyone else she told me. but i couldnt do that. i cant use her for sex. im not like that. she understood that and i told her that. then she wanted me even more.. but then i had to do what was best. just cut communications again.


so i mean personally i WOULD NOT TAKE HER BACK! thats just me. i mean dude she ****** around and now she is not my problem. sorry. maybe its my standards but again she shouldnt have ****** w/ people.
 

montanafan

Diamond Member
Nov 7, 1999
3,551
2
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OP, in this instance it sounds like you're:
1) horny
2) lonely
3) settling

Now 1 & 2 everyone can relate to and are empathizing with you and trying to give you advice about because they've been there and done that. It can happen to the best of guys.

But settling for someone who's dumped you just for a little fun, who you yourself admit you never really deeply loved, who's got so much baggage, who you know deep in your heart is really just using you because you're a good guy and she's screwed up her life and now and just wants someone, anyone, to make it a little easier for her; hardly anyone can understand that because it is just so wrong.

1 & 2 above, yes they're bad, but you can easily do things to deal with or correct them. #3 means a life of misery; a complicated, hurtful, still lonely, bitter, resentful, and unfulfilling relationship. Don't do it, not now, not ever.

 

Whisper

Diamond Member
Feb 25, 2000
5,394
2
81
Originally posted by: montanafan
OP, in this instance it sounds like you're:
1) horny
2) lonely
3) settling

Now 1 & 2 everyone can relate to and are empathizing with you and trying to give you advice about because they've been there and done that. It can happen to the best of guys.

But settling for someone who's dumped you just for a little fun, who you yourself admit you never really deeply loved, who's got so much baggage, who you know deep in your heart is really just using you because you're a good guy and she's screwed up her life and now and just wants someone, anyone, to make it a little easier for her; hardly anyone can understand that because it is just so wrong.

1 & 2 above, yes they're bad, but you can easily do things to deal with or correct them. #3 means a life of misery; a complicated, hurtful, still lonely, bitter, resentful, and unfulfilling relationship. Don't do it, not now, not ever.

Very, very true. The only piece of relationship advice that I'll ever give is to NEVER settle. Don't ever get into a relationship if your main reason for doing so is to avoid being alone. If you aren't comfortable enough with yourself to be single, you'll never be able to keep a successful relationship going.
 

GasX

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
29,033
6
81
Originally posted by: Aztech
I know she's been with about 3 other guys since we split. Should I care though? We weren't together at that point. I could've done the same thing, but I didn't. I guess if I had the opportunities, I would have.

No you should not care. You should also not go anywhere near her. She is going to ply you with feminine wiles that your posts thus far has implied you are more than succeptible to. You need to break contact and stay away.

No, you don't want to have coffee.
No, you don't want to "just meet the kid"
No, you don't want to get together for old times sake
No, you don't owe here "at least that much"
 

DrPizza

Administrator Elite Member Goat Whisperer
Mar 5, 2001
49,601
167
111
www.slatebrookfarm.com
It's going to hurt you to realize this, but as others have stated, no. Don't go back to her. She's spent a lot of time looking for someone better than you... she's apparently not satisfied with you, but at this point is desperate enough to settle for you. I think that if you got back together, you should truly be concerned about whether or not she was still searching the market for something she finds better than you.
 

PricklyPete

Lifer
Sep 17, 2002
14,582
162
106
1) Run Away
2) You're not pathetic...you're normal. Anyone who has been in a relationship will have lingering feelings to some degree. What would make you pathetic is if you do go back with her. She does not appear to be good for you. You said yourself, you never felt like you were in love. Once you are out of your current problems...start dating again...and these current feelings will subside.
3) Run Away!
 

Phoenix86

Lifer
May 21, 2003
14,644
10
81
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
I would say


NO!!!!!

Don't wanna sound too mean here... but go and get your own life. You don't need her life and her kid.

If she cared about you while you were broken up, she wouldnt have been spreading for someone else.

This is worth repeating. Aztech, stay far-far away from her, don't even see her in person. Heck don't even talk to her.