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Okay, first question: if they don't offer more, will you still accept the job?

I mean, you don't want to deliver an ultimatum and have them call your bluff and left standing with nothing.

On the other hand, if you're not able to accept the position unless they offer more, then I see no reason not to (politely) say so directly.
 
I don't have a suggestion for you both both lines sound really cheese, IMO. I would not want to be an employer reading that, especially as a closing line.
 
A. looks ok except i'd maybe change 'a bit more.' it came off as lacking confidence (maybe not to everyone, that's just the first impression i got).

i'd rule out B. altogether as the second part sounds inordinately obtuse. 🙂P)

or you can go with my suggestion:
"thanks, yo"

 
B makes you sound like a jerk. In A, take out "a bit more", and take out "it would do a lot" and replace it with something that sounds more professional, i dont know, look in the thesaurus or something.
 
I don't like either of those.

I think negotiating salary via letter is not the best idea. Better to give the HR person a friendly call and say you were looking to make a little more, and then give them a good reason that explains why you deserve it.

EDIT: Forgot to mention... a good reason you deserve it has be a good reason from the employer's perspective, not yours. An employer isn't going to raise their offer simply because you say you want your kid to go to a better school or you deserve to drive a nicer car (which is essentially what you are saying when you use the term "econimic justification"). Give them a reason that means something to them... like how hard you work or how dedicated your are in solving problems.
 
Originally posted by: theman
B makes you sound like a jerk. In A, take out "a bit more", and take out "it would do a lot" and replace it with something that sounds more professional, i dont know, look in the thesaurus or something.
Click to expand...

agreed 😉

OP, what'd you go with? You went with B, huh?
 
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