So what was a real RPG? You levelled up, you upgraded gear.
A real Role Playing game is one where you play a role I would assume. One where there aren't many restrictions. "On-rails" games don't really fall into this category for me, but I find them fun and don't care if they aren't a "true" RPG. Games like Final Fantasy, and Never Winter Nights fall in this category. They are mostly this way due to the limitations of the platform, although they haven't really advanced even to the point of pencil and paper RPG's even though the technology has advanced enough that this should be possible. It is likely because the legacy computer/console RPG's were popular and fun, and were designed with those limitations.
Probably the most open Computer RPG's I have played are EVE, and Mount and Blade: Warband. Both are good about letting you play out whatever role you choose in the method you want to play it.