Right Or Wrong? (Sexual Ethics)

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Isla

Originally posted by: se7enty7
I kind of stopped reading after 10 or 12 posts...

1) twice a week is way to little.. granted I'm 18; but my GF and I do it at LEAST twice a day, if not more.
2) In our relationship, it would be okay for me to not go all the way (out of respect) but to maybe rub my penis against her vagina.. just to rouse things up a bit.. but actually having sex? no.


3) she said she was tired.. so he let her sleep till 2 (that's my gf's response..)

Imagine your mother and father having sex twice a day and then you've got a better picture of my situation.

<---has a 16 year old

Gulp... what would be wrong with that?

 

[Scarpozzi]

Did the wife appreciate it afterwards? If you're a cunning enough guy, you can make wifey's dreams nice and it might be a pleasant awakening. (I've surprised a few of my partners in the past and they had no objections at 4am when I was doing all the work)

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Isla

Originally posted by: se7enty7
I kind of stopped reading after 10 or 12 posts...

1) twice a week is way to little.. granted I'm 18; but my GF and I do it at LEAST twice a day, if not more.
2) In our relationship, it would be okay for me to not go all the way (out of respect) but to maybe rub my penis against her vagina.. just to rouse things up a bit.. but actually having sex? no.


3) she said she was tired.. so he let her sleep till 2 (that's my gf's response..)

Imagine your mother and father having sex twice a day and then you've got a better picture of my situation.

<---has a 16 year old

Gulp... what would be wrong with that?

LOL!

Hey, there's nothing wrong with enjoying sex. I have better orgasms now than I did when I was younger!

I'm just a wee bit tired after a long day with many things to manage (including 3 children ranging in age from 16-4). If I recall correctly, your kids no longer live under your roof... You even get to walk around naked!

That can make a big difference.

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: glen
I have never been pissed about waking up to a blow job.

 

[dirtboy]

Originally posted by: Jmmsbnd007

Originally posted by: dirtboy
I've woken up to my gf doing that to me at 3-4am. Less than a week later I broke up with her. I will not tolerate being disrespected like that.

She defended herself by saying she thought I wouldn't mind. She figured every guy would like some girl to just help themselves. She also mentioned that if I was to ever do that to her, she would be outraged, because she would feel that I was raping her.

::shakes head::

You're the only guy that I know that would dump a girlfriend because she gave you random sex :Q

It's amazing how all the sex starved people on this board missed the entire point of what I was saying. She didn't give me random sex. I dervided no pleasure. She got on me, satisfied herself, got off and went back to sleep. Of course I was now awake and couldn't go back to sleep.

It's sad to see how much sex drives all of the pathetic men around here. I don't think or live through my penis like the rest of you do.

The point is: RESPECT. If your spouse, significant other, hand, whatever you want to call them can't show you any respect they must go. I can't care if my gf was a nympo...she just had a never ending sex drive. She didn't respect me enough to think about her actions. Any woman (or man, for you females here) that can't show their SO respect aren't worth marrying or dating or what-have-you.

My ex-gf is selfish. She only thinks and does for her, not for those around her.

The "husband" in this thread is the same way. It's his needs above others.

Living life thinking that your needs are above others, especially that of your parnter, is pathetic.

 

[Howard]

Isla has Real Ultimate Power!

 

[PatboyX]

Originally posted by: brunswickite

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo

Originally posted by: vi_edit

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
No = No.....married or not.

amish

Aye. My thoughts exactly.

For those saying that a man being woken up to a woman giving them a blow job not being a bad thing - answer me this -

Would you have the same feeling if a woman was shoving a dildo up your ass?

I doubt it.

Two very different things. A woman is penetrated, and that's a very violating thing if you aren't prepared for it...both physically and emotionaly.

If you woke up to your wife shoving a cucumber up your ass without any lube you'll be whistling a different tune.

apples to oranges. if you ussually like a dildo up your ass as much as a blowjob then yes its the same.

a more valid comparison is if the husband shoved a banana or something in his wife, something they never do and she doesn't like etc.

good point

not really. a more valid comparision would be oral on her.

 

[Jmmsbnd007]

Originally posted by: dirtboy

Originally posted by: Jmmsbnd007

Originally posted by: dirtboy
I've woken up to my gf doing that to me at 3-4am. Less than a week later I broke up with her. I will not tolerate being disrespected like that.

She defended herself by saying she thought I wouldn't mind. She figured every guy would like some girl to just help themselves. She also mentioned that if I was to ever do that to her, she would be outraged, because she would feel that I was raping her.

::shakes head::

You're the only guy that I know that would dump a girlfriend because she gave you random sex :Q

It's amazing how all the sex starved people on this board missed the entire point of what I was saying. She didn't give me random sex. I dervided no pleasure. She got on me, satisfied herself, got off and went back to sleep. Of course I was now awake and couldn't go back to sleep.

It's sad to see how much sex drives all of the pathetic men around here. I don't think or live through my penis like the rest of you do.

The point is: RESPECT. If your spouse, significant other, hand, whatever you want to call them can't show you any respect they must go. I can't care if my gf was a nympo...she just had a never ending sex drive. She didn't respect me enough to think about her actions. Any woman (or man, for you females here) that can't show their SO respect aren't worth marrying or dating or what-have-you.

My ex-gf is selfish. She only thinks and does for her, not for those around her.

The "husband" in this thread is the same way. It's his needs above others.

Living life thinking that your needs are above others, especially that of your parnter, is pathetic.

Good job not telling us all the facts in the first post (Just satisfied herself and went back to bed, never ending sex drive, etc), McCoy.

 

[tranceport]

Originally posted by: glen
I have never been pissed about waking up to a blow job.

 

[Mill]

Originally posted by: dirtboy

Originally posted by: Jmmsbnd007

Originally posted by: dirtboy
I've woken up to my gf doing that to me at 3-4am. Less than a week later I broke up with her. I will not tolerate being disrespected like that.

She defended herself by saying she thought I wouldn't mind. She figured every guy would like some girl to just help themselves. She also mentioned that if I was to ever do that to her, she would be outraged, because she would feel that I was raping her.

::shakes head::

You're the only guy that I know that would dump a girlfriend because she gave you random sex :Q

It's amazing how all the sex starved people on this board missed the entire point of what I was saying. She didn't give me random sex. I dervided no pleasure. She got on me, satisfied herself, got off and went back to sleep. Of course I was now awake and couldn't go back to sleep.

It's sad to see how much sex drives all of the pathetic men around here. I don't think or live through my penis like the rest of you do.

The point is: RESPECT. If your spouse, significant other, hand, whatever you want to call them can't show you any respect they must go. I can't care if my gf was a nympo...she just had a never ending sex drive. She didn't respect me enough to think about her actions. Any woman (or man, for you females here) that can't show their SO respect aren't worth marrying or dating or what-have-you.

My ex-gf is selfish. She only thinks and does for her, not for those around her.

The "husband" in this thread is the same way. It's his needs above others.

Living life thinking that your needs are above others, especially that of your parnter, is pathetic.

You need serious mental help.

 

[tranceport]

Originally posted by: waylman

Originally posted by: Isla

Originally posted by: Spooner

Originally posted by: PatboyX
i think its strange that they "agreed" to have sex a certain amount of times in one week.

yeah, like it's a chore

I take it you do not have children, a mortgage, etc etc.

what does a mortgage have to do with sex? If you think of sex with your husband as a chore, get a divorce.

 

[vi edit]

I still contend that no man can speak on behalf of a woman. Being penetrated is one of the most undesirable things that can happen to a person against their will.

Whether this be needles, splinters, piercings, anal/vaginal penetration, forced sodomy, ect. As a man, I don't feel that unwanted oral sex could ever be as demeaning or devostating as a woman being penetrated in any orifice.

 

[Soybomb]

Originally posted by: vi_edit
I still contend that no man can speak on behalf of a woman. Being penetrated is one of the most undesirable things that can happen to a person against their will.

Whether this be needles, splinters, piercings, anal/vaginal penetration, forced sodomy, ect. As a man, I don't feel that unwanted oral sex could ever be as demeaning or devostating as a woman being penetrated in any orifice.

I'm with you, there is a distinction. In this case I still think he is sooooo far in the wrong. He was told no but he did it anyway. Oral sex to wake someone up still wouldn't be cool if it was unwelcome, but it could be a more tender way of waking someone up, and in doing so you do at least show that you're trying to do something for the other person. With intercourse like this, you're just doing it for your own satisfaction, there's no love, tenderness, etc shown for the other person.

The wife shouldn't doubt herself and needs to follow it though with the counselors and her husband until she's satisfied that there is a mutual understanding. Being married doesn't make a person any less of an individual who has every right to decide when sex with someone is welcome. Not an issue to be taken lightly....take care of yourself most importantly.

 

[PatboyX]

Originally posted by: vi_edit
I still contend that no man can speak on behalf of a woman. Being penetrated is one of the most undesirable things that can happen to a person against their will.

Whether this be needles, splinters, piercings, anal/vaginal penetration, forced sodomy, ect. As a man, I don't feel that unwanted oral sex could ever be as demeaning or devostating as a woman being penetrated in any orifice.

here here!

 

[ThreeLeggedGnome]

Originally posted by: XZeroII
What kind of sick person need sex more than twice a week? If you need it that much, you need help.

Impotent aren't we? I'm 30 years of age and I can have it twice daily year-round (with no health consequence) if it's required of me. Some people are much stronger physiologically than others. It's always funny to me when I hear some sexually debilitated individuals making fun of people that's better physically than they are.

 

[dirtboy]

Originally posted by: Millennium

Originally posted by: dirtboy

Originally posted by: Jmmsbnd007

Originally posted by: dirtboy
I've woken up to my gf doing that to me at 3-4am. Less than a week later I broke up with her. I will not tolerate being disrespected like that.

She defended herself by saying she thought I wouldn't mind. She figured every guy would like some girl to just help themselves. She also mentioned that if I was to ever do that to her, she would be outraged, because she would feel that I was raping her.

::shakes head::

You're the only guy that I know that would dump a girlfriend because she gave you random sex :Q

It's amazing how all the sex starved people on this board missed the entire point of what I was saying. She didn't give me random sex. I dervided no pleasure. She got on me, satisfied herself, got off and went back to sleep. Of course I was now awake and couldn't go back to sleep.

It's sad to see how much sex drives all of the pathetic men around here. I don't think or live through my penis like the rest of you do.

The point is: RESPECT. If your spouse, significant other, hand, whatever you want to call them can't show you any respect they must go. I can't care if my gf was a nympo...she just had a never ending sex drive. She didn't respect me enough to think about her actions. Any woman (or man, for you females here) that can't show their SO respect aren't worth marrying or dating or what-have-you.

My ex-gf is selfish. She only thinks and does for her, not for those around her.

The "husband" in this thread is the same way. It's his needs above others.

Living life thinking that your needs are above others, especially that of your parnter, is pathetic.

You need serious mental help.

This coming from the most mentally unstable member of the board...

 

[yellowperil]

My answer to the poll: definitely wrong. I think it destroys trust the woman has for the man. And it is classified as rape (because the woman did not consent to it), and marital rape has been recognized by the courts in the past 20 years. If the guy thinks masturbation is morally wrong but thinks it's OK to penetrate his wife while she's asleep, he needs his head checked.

 

[Alchemist99]

Well I don't think it's wrong in the sense of being rape or abusive or immoral,
But it's possible it could be construed as rude and obnoxious depending on the individual relationship parameters.

At the same time it could be, as pointed out, be deemed as playful and spontaneous.
Quite frankly the thought of it is pretty funny, and I want to know if this act invoked any dreams.
If you were dreaming of making love in an enjoyable way and woke up to your hubby then no harm no foul. But if you started having a nightmare then you might be upset.

Marriage is a balancing act right? Sounds like said couple needs to keep trying to find an arraignment that better meets their needs, although this could be a one time deal and hubby was just curious as to what might happen.

But if a woman is married to a man and they have a healthy active sex life and this happened and she felt violated then I would say that they have some serious issues. Imo

 

[StuckMojo]

Funny? DEFINATELY!

 

[alocurto]

He should have known what he was getting into. Some people just don't like sex all the time... not me

 

[EXman]

You Said PORKED :Q

 

[schizoid]

Two things:

1. I wouldn't say it's "wrong" in a moral sense, but it's not something anyone (husband or otherwise) should do unless it's VERY clear that it's the sort of thing both people would enjoy. I think "right" and "wrong" is a little harsh, but still..you get the idea. IT's the type of thing that can happen once, and then if the guy doesn't get the hint, then it becomes wrong.

2. Women's attitudes towards sex (and the corresponding "I'm a retardo guy who wants to get laid so I'll agree with women" men's views) never seem to make much sense. Well, I shouldn't say "never", but the overriding sentiment seems to be that the guy should zip it back up, and count his lucky stars he has something poke at all, regardless of how often he'd like it.

Well women, how would you feel if your husband told you you were pretty twice a week? Or if he made some meaningful conection with you twice a week? Or even bothered to acknowledge your existence twice a week?

Now, I full well recognize that twice a week for a couple with kids and jobs and crap isn't that bad (so hold your tongues...I'm 25, and I fsck pretty much constantly, but I recognize that that doesn't go on forever, so spare me the "when you're that age" stuff). I'm just saying the sentiment...homeboy has a need. It's a need his wife is "supposed" to fulfill. Because it's sex, it's somehow viewed as baser or less important need.

Not to thread-jack, but a similair thing happens when you tell a group of girls that you'd never date a girl who didn't believe in premarital sex (believe me, this pertains, even moreso when you're my age -- although thankfully with each passing day this becomes less of an issue). So, whenever you say something like that, you're immediately met with gasps ("so you care more about sex than love yada yada yada"). The reality is that sex is important, and it's up to me to prioritize sex in the heirachy of what I think is important in a relationship.

Anyway, I don't really care one way or the other, I just don't like the attitude a lot of women have when it comes to men's sexual appetite.

So there you go.

Back to being an asshat of a nef on ATOT!

 

[TheVrolok]

Not even remotely close to right.

 

[ThaGrandCow]

<grunt>
<grunt>
<pant>
<wife opens eyes>
W: "Honey! What are you doing???"
H: "For better or for worse, biatch!!!"
H: "PS: PWNED!"
<grunt>
<grunt>
<pant>

Please don't think I would actually do this.

 

[AnyMal]

Isla - I have made it a point to read all your comments to get the full picture and the first thing I must say is that you're one brave gal. My hat is off to you, ma'am It also shows that you truly care for your hubby and that's got to worth something in this day and age. Back to your questions:

1. It is not up to this or any other community to decide what's "moral" and what is not. This is something you and your husband will have to agree to. Make sure to be completely open and honest (and I am sure you are) about your feelings and encourage your husband to do the same. Which brings me to the next point.

2. Even before I read further into this post it was pretty obvious that your husband was either a victim of or a witness to some sort of sexual abuse. There is no better way to handle this then getting professional help which I understand you already do.

3. No two human beings have exact same sexual needs. Continue encouraging your husband to explore self-pleasure. Offer to participate at some level (you know what I mean) and tell him it really excites you and you want him to do it as often as he wants.

4. Last but not least, continue with professional counseling and offer him as much help and encouragement as you can.

Good luck!