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Richard Pryor Quotes

slimrhcp

Senior member
In honor of the late comedian, please post some of your favorite quotes from this legend.

"Who are you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?"

"Drac-ula, what kind of name is that for a nigg@?!?"

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."
 
Mr. Wilson: Tree.

Interviewer: Tree. (nods head, prepares the test papers) Dog.

Mr. Wilson: Tree.

Interviewer: Fast.

Mr. Wilson: Slow.

Interviewer: Rain.

Mr. Wilson: Snow.

Interviewer: White.

Mr. Wilson: Black.

Interviewer: Bean.

Mr. Wilson: Pod.

Interviewer: (casually) Negro.

Mr. Wilson: Whitey.

Interviewer: Tarbaby.

Mr. Wilson: What'd you say?

Interviewer: Tarbaby.

Mr. Wilson: Ofay.

Interviewer: Colored.

Mr. Wilson: Redneck.

Interviewer: Junglebunny.

Mr. Wilson: Peckerwood!

Interviewer: Burrhead.

Mr. Wilson: Cracker!

Interviewer: Spearchucker.

Mr. Wilson: White trash!

Interviewer: Jungle Bunny!

Mr. Wilson: beloved patriot!

Interviewer: Spade!

Mr. Wilson: beloved patriot beloved patriot!

Interviewer: Ni&&3r.

Mr. Wilson: Dead beloved patriot!
 
Grover Muldoon(Pryor): I'm following the plan. Just changed my mind.
George Caldwell(Wilder): Are you crazy? I thought we were gonna take the Chevy in back.
Grover Muldoon: Chevy? That's a jerk-off, man. This here is pure pussy.
George Caldwell: Pure pussy? Tell that to the judge.
Grover Muldoon: Don't worry about no judge, Man, this thing gonna get us to Kansas City on time.
George Caldwell: How about jail? Did you know that the office is right in front of us?


:laugh:
 
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: OdiN
404 Funny Not Found

Indeed. Where's the humor?

Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.
 
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.
 
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.

Exactly.

I mean take this for example:

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."


....How is that remotely funny???
 
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.

Exactly.

I mean take this for example:

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."


....How is that remotely funny???
HAHA, that's funny. 😀

It's funny b/c it true (especially have a few winos in my family)
 
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.

Exactly.

I mean take this for example:

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."


....How is that remotely funny???

umm...in context...
 
Originally posted by: NFS4
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.

Exactly.

I mean take this for example:

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."


....How is that remotely funny???
HAHA, that's funny. 😀

It's funny b/c it true (especially have a few winos in my family)

It seems like more of an observation to me than something that's funny. It's about as funny as saying "Hey...look the grass is green!"
 
Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.

Exactly.

I mean take this for example:

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."


....How is that remotely funny???

umm...in context...

And I'm supposed to just make it up??
 
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: NFS4
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.

Exactly.

I mean take this for example:

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."


....How is that remotely funny???
HAHA, that's funny. 😀

It's funny b/c it true (especially have a few winos in my family)

It seems like more of an observation to me than something that's funny. It's about as funny as saying "Hey...look the grass is green!"

i'm not sure you understand how comedy works.
 
Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: NFS4
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.

Exactly.

I mean take this for example:

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."


....How is that remotely funny???
HAHA, that's funny. 😀

It's funny b/c it true (especially have a few winos in my family)

It seems like more of an observation to me than something that's funny. It's about as funny as saying "Hey...look the grass is green!"

i'm not sure you understand how comedy works.

And I'm quite sure you have absolutely no idea.
 
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.

Exactly.

I mean take this for example:

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."


....How is that remotely funny???

umm...in context...

And I'm supposed to just make it up??

what? no, you're not supposed to get it...now you have two options:

1. go watch/hear some richard pryor and come post here
2. dont go watch/hear some richard pryor and dont come post here


do you understand?
 
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: NFS4
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.

Exactly.

I mean take this for example:

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."


....How is that remotely funny???
HAHA, that's funny. 😀

It's funny b/c it true (especially have a few winos in my family)

It seems like more of an observation to me than something that's funny. It's about as funny as saying "Hey...look the grass is green!"

i'm not sure you understand how comedy works.

And I'm quite sure you have absolutely no idea.

wow, another superb comeback
 
Obviously you've never ventured out of Suburbia. It is the same reason Ezel(however you spell his name) was funny in Friday. He was a crackhead. He acted like a crackhead. THAT'S FUNNY IF YOU KNOW HOW CRACKHEADS ACT. If you spend all your damn time typing on your laptop at Starbucks you would NOT find it funny.

Here's a for instance:

We were downtown one night at what was called the "Nationals" (illegal street races). A bum/crackhead/wino appeared with a concrete block and just randomly threw it at someone. Two guys chased after him, and came back about 2 minutes later. Everyone said: "WTF happened?" They said: "He was a crackhead, couldn't catch him." THAT'S FUNNY. Crackheads *are* fast. They are *are* hard to catch. To you -- you wouldn't understand it -- but to see it was hilariously true.

 
Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.

Exactly.

I mean take this for example:

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."


....How is that remotely funny???

umm...in context...

And I'm supposed to just make it up??

what? no, you're not supposed to get it...now you have two options:

1. go watch/hear some richard pryor and come post here
2. dont go watch/hear some richard pryor and dont come post here


do you understand?

What does watching Pryor have to do with anything?

I simply stated that the quotes posted are not funny at all.

Do you understand or do you need me to connect the dots?
 
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: NFS4
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.

Exactly.

I mean take this for example:

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."


....How is that remotely funny???
HAHA, that's funny. 😀

It's funny b/c it true (especially have a few winos in my family)

It seems like more of an observation to me than something that's funny. It's about as funny as saying "Hey...look the grass is green!"

Well, I guess you don't like Seinfeld either...
 
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: Inspector Jihad
Originally posted by: OdiN
Originally posted by: HamburgerBoy
Originally posted by: KLin
Who said anything about the quotes needing to be funny. The OP wanted favorite quotes. Go thread crap elsewhere please :thumbsdown:.

The fact that these are quotes from a comedian would make me think that they're supposed to be funny.

Exactly.

I mean take this for example:

"You can't scare a wino! Wino's ain't scared of nothin' but runnin' out of wine."


....How is that remotely funny???

umm...in context...

And I'm supposed to just make it up??

what? no, you're not supposed to get it...now you have two options:

1. go watch/hear some richard pryor and come post here
2. dont go watch/hear some richard pryor and dont come post here


do you understand?

What does watching Pryor have to do with anything?

I simply stated that the quotes posted are not funny at all.

Do you understand or do you need me to connect the dots?

STFU, quit ruining the thread.
 
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