REVENGE!!!! How to get back at my tormenters. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

[Windogg]

Last night I was pretty depressed about things and was thinking about quitting my job. Then I realized that I would only be giving in and admitting defeat. As an "hate to lose" sonofabitch, I can't do that. I must find a way to get some satisfaction a la Homer Simpson. Unplugging their patch cable would only bring them to my door and they might get suspicious if they can get a connection in another port. I can slow them down but messing with the switches to make them 10mbps/half duplex means a lot of micromanaging (plus it NOT slow enough).

While cleaning out my desk I found some old equipment. Then I checked IT policy and it sounds mighty close to my cable modem agreement. "Speeds not guaranteed. Availability might be limited at peak times." Hmmmmmm...... * EVIL GRIN * BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..............

Time to implement some Alcatraz meets Turkish Prison tactics....

I present...


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THE PUNISHMENT HUB!!!!!

Equipment:
1 x 8 Port 10BaseT Hub
4 x 5" CAT3 Flat Cables (Old, ratty, looks like they had a tough life)
3 x 5" CAT5 Round Cable
1 x Open Port on Cisco Switches
2 x Pentium 75, 16MB EDO, 1GB HDD, 2MB S3 Trio, 10BaseT

The Plan:
1) Telnet in Cisco Switch and turn selected port to 10Mbps/Half Duplex
2) Plug 10BaseT hub into switch
3) Take patch cable of tormenter and replace into hub with questionable quality CAT3
4) Plug two old Pentium systems into the hub with good CAT5
5) Open 20 DOS windows on each PC and have them PING each other with 65K packets in an endless loop
6) Watch constantly lit "COLLISION" light on hub
7) Enjoy they screams of pain coming from the cubicle farm.

Rumor has it there is a 16 port 10BaseT hub lying around. Right now 5 users can be "thrown into the hole" but 13 would be sweet.

Any thoughts on this?

Windogg

BTW: I would like to thank everyone that contributed to the thread. It made me feel a lot better.

 

[BigSmooth]

If one of your supervisors found out about this, wouldn't they be kind of upset?

 

[Ulfwald]

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


Cool idea, let's see how the self professed techies like that.

Just make sure you keep your connection at maximum throughput.

Thing about supervisors, They pay people like him to know more than they do. heh heh!

Most would not know the difference.

 

[Windogg]

bigsmooth: I'm top of the IT food chain in the office. My immediate boss is the office manager and he is pretty hands off. The next person I report to is 2000 miles away.

Windogg

 

[Electric Amish]

Change their keyboard to DVORAK in software..

Set a porno site as their home page.

Remove a stick of their ram (if multiple sticks)

Change their virtual memory to zero.

amish

 

[KidViciou$]

hahahaha

 

[denali]

Sounds good, I would suggest alternating the speed of their connection, sometimes fast sometimes slow so they will just think it is random. Also how about filtering out a percentage of their packets this might be easier.

 

[rahvin]

Set all their password protected screen savers to 30 secs (if they don't have that enabled it, enable it). Nothing like having to type your password in 50 times a day to make you hate computers...

 

[BigSmooth]

I would say that this will hurt the productivity in your office, but the way you describe most of your coworkers, their productivity can't get much worse!

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

:Q I officially withdraw my previous advice to look elsewhere, this revenge stuff is too good to pass up now. Proceed with caution

 

[Adul]

buahahahahhhaha


oh the evil one can do

 

[cxim]

Windogg,

I really thought you were better than this...

Random faults is the only way to go. Of course thay will not be quite random.... duh!!!

There are several considerations:

Never consider things which will generate more work for you or that will make the system look bad.

Never do things that take a lot of technical know how ! this gets narrowed down quickly.

Faulty grounds have a place...

Electromagnets close to Cat5 patch cables with a remote control on/off are a nice consideration.

In a pinch, cable routed near a portable flourscent light fixture can reap satisfaction.

Mods should fit in with the workplace decor & not be obvious.

 

[IBhacknU]

when they complain, tell the everything is SWAMPED with election stuff. Been that way ever since last night!

Damnest Thing

 

[Windogg]

I'll tell it's AOL's fault.

cxim: Hmmm... the idea sounded good at the time. Guess that's why I always run things by the people here. The hub (rackmount) will seem a little out of place since the switches are a turquoise blue. On the other hand there is all sort of telco eqipment (routers, phone equipment, misc stuff), UPSes, etc... There are so many patch cables of various colors running around, no one can figure out the mess.

Near it are various servers, dead computers, computers running dianostics, and other stuff. The only person that goes there is me and the room is strictly off limites to all regular employees.

The plan still needs to be refined. Let's see any spare flourescent light ballasts around?

Windogg

 

[Demon-Xanth]

New idea: try out internet filtering software on thier systems.

...if that doesn't work install every anti-virus software known to man. Nothing bogs a system like anti-virus and you can explain that "you didn't know they already had an antivirus program installed"

 

[Adul]

Pin holes in in cat5 cable...
corroded connections
DoS on their PCs

 

[Windogg]

Adul, I like the zombie idea. Shame "Winnuke" doesn't work with 95 OSR2 and above.

Windogg

 

[Demon-Xanth]

Replace all the fans in thier computer with sleeve bearing fans
Every night turn down the horizontal width on thier monitor and turn up the verticle hight
If thier computer has an ATX power supply put a 4 hour timer in paralell with thier power switch that when power is applied will close the contacts for a second EDIT: If it's AT put it on the reset switch:/EDIT (which would reset the timer)
Put knicked ribbon cables in thier computers

 

[Demon-Xanth]

Ooh ooh, easy one: break off the tabs that hold the CAT-5 cable in that goes between his computer and the wall. That way the smallest tug from anything (wandering feet) will pop it out

 

[nateholtrop]

reghost all the computers with pcanywhere..and take random control of different machines from yours and have em go to naughtly sites when the boss walks by and play sounds you know the "sounds" AHAHAAH

hehe

Nate

 

[IBhacknU]

how about using the BSOD as a screen saver?

 

[etech]

Set MS office find fast to the shortest possible cycle on their computer.

 

[DAM]

windogg: cant you just constantly ping those ppl that suck and have their computers slow down to a crawl every so often, that way they will not notice it. that is ofcourse if they dont have dynamicly set ips.


what i do here, its i just quit their connections from the server and they have to restart since everything runs of the server. :--)







dam()

 

[Demon-Xanth]

I've been messing around with a bunch of joke programs (on my own computers at home). Including one that will run programs at a pre-determined time. You should try it out

 

[Pepsi90919]

Man this is way too BOFH-esque.