Reasons why anyone should get married

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: xSauronx

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I've given you answers to the best of my ability, they're just not the answers you want to hear.

You don't believe my reasons? fine, you think me shallow? gold digging? materalistic ? fine, have it your way, I don't care what you think of me Nik.

I really do hate that you're taking my posts personally. I'm not saying that YOU are shallow. I'm not pointing fingers at YOU specifically at all.

Just like people giving reasons in the beginning of this thread and others saying hey wait a minute that's not a good reason to get married, I'm doing the same.

Just because someone disagrees with you and would like to hash out the logistics of the conversation doesn't mean they're personally attacking you. Sheesh :roll:

You are in fact addressing me, you're not talking to the air here..and I'm finding your tone to be abrasive and confrontational,needlessly so.

i agree, he comes off a little harsh, but i can also see why he might be frustrated. Ive been married, Im divorced, I dont understand anything you *need* the "marriage" vow or piece of paper for from what youve listed. If you feel about someone how you claim to feel about Red, you shouldnt *require* that piece of paper. If your feelings for each other made you want to do that, and you have an awesome relationship, and felt like marriage would be an important part of it, ok, but I think the really great part is that you (claim to) have a wonderful relationship, not that youre married.

Too many people half-ass a relationship or a marriage. Nevermind the 50% divorce rate, there are people who stay married who arent happy together and dont really care about one another and have no business being married.

Really, if I ever got married again, it'd be to someone who wasnt in a hurry to get it done. My uncle has been living with the same woman for about 20 years. Im sure theyve had a fair share of issues, but 20 years together and theyre not married. My cousin has been with his fiance for something like 7 years (and engaged for at least 5 of them). They live together, work together, do all sorts of things together. Theyre not in a hurry to get married, as far as I can tell.

Whereas my parents would get out of their marriage in a heartbeat, except that dad knows nobody would put up with him, and mom knows she couldnt support herself well on her limited income. What a load of crap it is. Id much sooner people be happy together sans marriage than get stuck in a crappy relationship on paper.

I have no quibble with people who decide marriage isn't for them. I do find it interesting though that in a lot of relationships
I've seen where the guy didn't want to get married.. prefered living together, said it was the same thing etc.. that within a year or
so of that relationship ending, the guy was announcing his marriage to the next woman.

I wonder how many live together couples stay together merely out of habit or convience? how many are just treading water
till the bigger,better deal comes along and then end up marrying the next partner? I've seen this happen often enough that
it makes me wonder.

 

[KeithTalent]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
When we got married absolutely nothing changed and my wife agreed. We loved each other exactly the same and felt just as much a family as we did when we were living together. Maybe some people "shack up", but we lived, together, and that's what we continued to do after we were married. This is why I said I do not see the point of getting married anymore, outside of a few legal reasons, which can be taken care of other ways anyway.

KT

Those few legal reasons are pretty important and you'll spend more money and go thru more hoop jumping taking care of them than you would simply by marrying.

Important yes, expensive and difficult, definitely not.

KT

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: vi edit
You feel any different about renting a house vs. actually owning it?

Failed analogy is fail already, but no I wouldn't feel any different.

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I answered the question Nik, you just didn't like the answers I gave and rejected them.

It's not whether I like the answers or don't like them, it's that the things you stated aren't necessary for marriage. This thread was obviously intended to give reasons why a couple would need to get married, not why a couple would want to get married. Hell, I'm going to paint the walls in my house orange because I don't have to take the highway to work every morning. Just because I don't have to take the highway doesn't mean I have to paint my walls orange. Just because you love the man and haven't felt anything like this before doesn't mean you should get married or that marriage will work out just because you feel that way. This thread isn't about your touchy-feelies about your hubby, it's "what exactly does marriage benefit a couple as opposed to not getting married and staying together."

Marriage for me meant giving up my escape route, no cutting and bailing, staying with this person even thru times when I don't like him very much

The love, is always there, the marriage vow is the promise that you will be there on those days when the like isn't there... and there are those days in any relationship.

What's stopping a non-married couple from making the same commitment, though? What makes marriage anything more than an archaic shell of mysogenistic social control?

This man's love changed something deep inside me, there was a shift in my core beliefs, about myself, about relationships. The marriage was a celebration, a merging of two that rendered us both better people.

Yes, but can you have that celebration without getting married? Yes, you can. Can you get married without that celebration? Yes, you can. Why would a couple NEED to get married? What does getting married actually CHANGE about your relationship and WHY does it change?

I NEEDED to get married for deeply held personal reasons, it gave me immense satisfaction Nik.

I am also relieved to know that my husband is covered under my benefits, if I become too ill to speak for myself there will be no ugly
standoff's at my bedside between Red and my adult children. Who gets what of my final assets will also be much clearer and there
will be no possibility of a challenge/ fight in probate court. Also, I have an adult disabled child, he and Red get along well, should I pass before Red
he would be looking out for Matt's interests, his being my legal husband will make that a LOT easier.

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I wonder how many live together couples stay together merely out of habit or convience?
how many are just treading water
till the bigger,better deal comes along and then end up marrying the next partner? I've seen this happen often enough that
it makes me wonder.

Good point, but how many married couples end in divorce? 50-fucking-percent. How many people living together end in divorce? Not nearly as many because it's much more obvious that they want to stay together. There's nothing legally binding them together, so the only reason they wake up next to each other is because they want to and that's something I can respect more than a prenup or a marriage license.

How many women go from husband to husband collecting allimony or marry some asshole they don't really care about just to divorce him later for his money?

Blah blah blah, we can cite "I've seen..." all night but it still doesn't fortify either end of the marriage-versus-single conversation.

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Important yes, expensive and difficult, definitely not.

KT

What legal benefits do couples get that they cannot get without getting married? Keep in mind that things like power of attorney can be filed for and things like that. The only thing I can think of and the only thing I've ever found over the course of reading, listening to, and participating in the whole gay marriage debate is social security. Social security clearly states that your bennies can't be paid to anyone else other than your spouse or your kin.

 

[KeithTalent]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Important yes, expensive and difficult, definitely not.

KT

What legal benefits do couples get that they cannot get without getting married? Keep in mind that things like power of attorney can be filed for and things like that. The only thing I can think of and the only thing I've ever found over the course of reading, listening to, and participating in the whole gay marriage debate is social security. Social security clearly states that your bennies can't be paid to anyone else other than your spouse or your kin.

Exactly.

KT

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I NEEDED to get married for deeply held personal reasons, it gave me immense satisfaction Nik.

Yes. FINALLY we're getting to the answer. Will you tell us WHY?

I am also relieved to know that my husband is covered under my benefits, if I become too ill to speak for myself there will be no ugly standoff's at my bedside between Red and my adult children. Who gets what of my final assets will also be much clearer and there will be no possibility of a challenge/ fight in probate court. Also, I have an adult disabled child, he and Red get along well, should I pass before Red he would be looking out for Matt's interests, his being my legal husband will make that a LOT easier.

You mean, the same stuff you can get by filing power of attorney and your last will and testament?

Apart from the yet-to-be-explained "why" we've been asking the whole fucking time, the last paragraph isn't anything that marriage would be the only solution for, so it can't be a reason to get married or stay married.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I wonder how many live together couples stay together merely out of habit or convience?
how many are just treading water
till the bigger,better deal comes along and then end up marrying the next partner? I've seen this happen often enough that
it makes me wonder.

Good point, but how many married couples end in divorce? 50-fucking-percent. How many people living together end in divorce? Not nearly as many because it's much more obvious that they want to stay together. There's nothing legally binding them together, so the only reason they wake up next to each other is because they want to and that's something I can respect more than a prenup or a marriage license.

How many women go from husband to husband collecting allimony or marry some asshole they don't really care about just to divorce him later for his money?

Blah blah blah, we can cite "I've seen..." all night but it still doesn't fortify either end of the marriage-versus-single conversation.

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Important yes, expensive and difficult, definitely not.

KT

What legal benefits do couples get that they cannot get without getting married? Keep in mind that things like power of attorney can be filed for and things like that. The only thing I can think of and the only thing I've ever found over the course of reading, listening to, and participating in the whole gay marriage debate is social security. Social security clearly states that your bennies can't be paid to anyone else other than your spouse or your kin.

Marriage makes a lot of stuff easier and it makes it a lot more difficult for disgruntled family members to challenge in court.
I work in a hospital, you'd be amazed at the horrible,shitty way a lot of families treat significant others when there's money
and/or property to be had. You can draft wills and trusts and such but if your extended family wants to fight it, they can effectively
tie your assets up for years and leave your SO homeless.

I married because I was ready to make the promise that I would keep waking up next to this person in the morning
even during rough times and that I would do whatever it took to work thru those times, walking away no longer
on the table as an option.

And there is no prenup here, no parachute, my stuff is his stuff.

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Important yes, expensive and difficult, definitely not.

KT

What legal benefits do couples get that they cannot get without getting married? Keep in mind that things like power of attorney can be filed for and things like that. The only thing I can think of and the only thing I've ever found over the course of reading, listening to, and participating in the whole gay marriage debate is social security. Social security clearly states that your bennies can't be paid to anyone else other than your spouse or your kin.

But if you wanted those legal protections, and assuming you were legally capable of being married (aka not gay in a state that prevented it), why wouldn't you just get married?

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I NEEDED to get married for deeply held personal reasons, it gave me immense satisfaction Nik.

Yes. FINALLY we're getting to the answer. Will you tell us WHY?

I am also relieved to know that my husband is covered under my benefits, if I become too ill to speak for myself there will be no ugly standoff's at my bedside between Red and my adult children. Who gets what of my final assets will also be much clearer and there will be no possibility of a challenge/ fight in probate court. Also, I have an adult disabled child, he and Red get along well, should I pass before Red he would be looking out for Matt's interests, his being my legal husband will make that a LOT easier.

You mean, the same stuff you can get by filing power of attorney and your last will and testament?

Apart from the yet-to-be-explained "why" we've been asking the whole fucking time, the last paragraph isn't anything that marriage would be the only solution for, so it can't be a reason to get married or stay married.

Because prior to Red, I was a bitter selfish wise and beautiful woman who thought of nothing but her own needs and pleasure. My husband's love changed something very basic inside me. Marriage has been very good for me in all aspects of my life.
My husband makes me want to strive to be a better person. I imagine that many people marry for deeply held internal reasons.

Does that satisfy you ? I hope so because I can't get anymore direct or honest than that.

Btw, if you have adult children or parents who are still living, those folks can and very often do
challenge wills that leave assets to live in parmours, those challenges can tie up an estate for
years and leave a significant other penniless. That's not a risk I was willing to take.

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Important yes, expensive and difficult, definitely not.

KT

What legal benefits do couples get that they cannot get without getting married? Keep in mind that things like power of attorney can be filed for and things like that. The only thing I can think of and the only thing I've ever found over the course of reading, listening to, and participating in the whole gay marriage debate is social security. Social security clearly states that your bennies can't be paid to anyone else other than your spouse or your kin.

But if you wanted those legal protections, and assuming you were legally capable of being married (aka not gay in a state that prevented it), why wouldn't you just get married?

The last question is a nice little set up P) but it can just as easily be turned the other direction. What's the point of getting married if we can just fill out some paperwork and be done with it?

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Because prior to Red, I was a bitter selfish wise and beautiful woman who thought of nothing but her own needs and pleasure. My husband's love changed something very basic inside me. Marriage has been very good for me in all aspects of my life.
My husband makes me want to strive to be a better person. I imagine that many people marry for deeply held internal reasons.

Does that satisfy you ? I hope so because I can't get anymore direct or honest than that.

Btw, if you have adult children or parents who are still living, those folks can and very often do
challenge wills that leave assets to live in parmours, those challenges can tie up an estate for
years and leave a significant other penniless. That's not a risk I was willing to take.

So you get married to defend giving your stuff to your SO when you die?

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Important yes, expensive and difficult, definitely not.

KT

What legal benefits do couples get that they cannot get without getting married? Keep in mind that things like power of attorney can be filed for and things like that. The only thing I can think of and the only thing I've ever found over the course of reading, listening to, and participating in the whole gay marriage debate is social security. Social security clearly states that your bennies can't be paid to anyone else other than your spouse or your kin.

But if you wanted those legal protections, and assuming you were legally capable of being married (aka not gay in a state that prevented it), why wouldn't you just get married?

The last question is a nice little set up P) but it can just as easily be turned the other direction. What's the point of getting married if we can just fill out some paperwork and be done with it?

Because that paper work is not immune from legal challenge and having your life partner basically left penniless
sitting in the streets because your extended family decided to fight the will in probate isn't pleasant.

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Important yes, expensive and difficult, definitely not.

KT

What legal benefits do couples get that they cannot get without getting married? Keep in mind that things like power of attorney can be filed for and things like that. The only thing I can think of and the only thing I've ever found over the course of reading, listening to, and participating in the whole gay marriage debate is social security. Social security clearly states that your bennies can't be paid to anyone else other than your spouse or your kin.

But if you wanted those legal protections, and assuming you were legally capable of being married (aka not gay in a state that prevented it), why wouldn't you just get married?

The last question is a nice little set up P) but it can just as easily be turned the other direction. What's the point of getting married if we can just fill out some paperwork and be done with it?

Because that paper work is not immune from legal challenge and having your life partner basically left penniless
sitting in the streets because your extended family decided to fight the will in probate isn't pleasant.

So you'd tell a 20-something couple that the #1 reason they should get married is so that their families can't squabble over their stuff if they even make it through 60 years of marriage?

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Because prior to Red, I was a bitter selfish wise and beautiful woman who thought of nothing but her own needs and pleasure. My husband's love changed something very basic inside me. Marriage has been very good for me in all aspects of my life.
My husband makes me want to strive to be a better person. I imagine that many people marry for deeply held internal reasons.

Does that satisfy you ? I hope so because I can't get anymore direct or honest than that.

Btw, if you have adult children or parents who are still living, those folks can and very often do
challenge wills that leave assets to live in parmours, those challenges can tie up an estate for
years and leave a significant other penniless. That's not a risk I was willing to take.

So you get married to defend giving your stuff to your SO when you die?

No, the main reason I married was because my husband challenges me and brings out the best in me. We married because we wanted to, it pleased us to do so.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: vi edit

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: KeithTalent
Important yes, expensive and difficult, definitely not.

KT

What legal benefits do couples get that they cannot get without getting married? Keep in mind that things like power of attorney can be filed for and things like that. The only thing I can think of and the only thing I've ever found over the course of reading, listening to, and participating in the whole gay marriage debate is social security. Social security clearly states that your bennies can't be paid to anyone else other than your spouse or your kin.

But if you wanted those legal protections, and assuming you were legally capable of being married (aka not gay in a state that prevented it), why wouldn't you just get married?

The last question is a nice little set up P) but it can just as easily be turned the other direction. What's the point of getting married if we can just fill out some paperwork and be done with it?

Because that paper work is not immune from legal challenge and having your life partner basically left penniless
sitting in the streets because your extended family decided to fight the will in probate isn't pleasant.

So you'd tell a 20-something couple that the #1 reason they should get married is so that their families can't squabble over their stuff if they even make it through 60 years of marriage?

I wouldn't tell anybody to marry.. or to not marry. What I can say is that for me, it's been a journey of incredible growth, an experience
that continues to shape me into being a better person every day.

The legal stuff, wills, transfer of assets etc, it is icing on the cake in that it provides some certainty, security in knowing
your affairs aren't likely to be over turned.

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Because prior to Red, I was a bitter selfish wise and beautiful woman who thought of nothing but her own needs and pleasure. My husband's love changed something very basic inside me. Marriage has been very good for me in all aspects of my life.
My husband makes me want to strive to be a better person. I imagine that many people marry for deeply held internal reasons.

Does that satisfy you ? I hope so because I can't get anymore direct or honest than that.

Btw, if you have adult children or parents who are still living, those folks can and very often do
challenge wills that leave assets to live in parmours, those challenges can tie up an estate for
years and leave a significant other penniless. That's not a risk I was willing to take.

So you get married to defend giving your stuff to your SO when you die?

No, the main reason I married was because my husband challenges me and brings out the best in me. We married because we wanted to, it pleased us to do so.

...surely, a level of relationship you cannot attain without getting married or something?

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I wouldn't tell anybody to marry.. or to not marry. What I can say is that for me, it's been a journey of incredible growth, an experience
that continues to shape me into being a better person every day.

Again, because you can't have that if you don't get married?

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Because prior to Red, I was a bitter selfish wise and beautiful woman who thought of nothing but her own needs and pleasure. My husband's love changed something very basic inside me. Marriage has been very good for me in all aspects of my life.
My husband makes me want to strive to be a better person. I imagine that many people marry for deeply held internal reasons.

Does that satisfy you ? I hope so because I can't get anymore direct or honest than that.

Btw, if you have adult children or parents who are still living, those folks can and very often do
challenge wills that leave assets to live in parmours, those challenges can tie up an estate for
years and leave a significant other penniless. That's not a risk I was willing to take.

So you get married to defend giving your stuff to your SO when you die?

No, the main reason I married was because my husband challenges me and brings out the best in me. We married because we wanted to, it pleased us to do so.

...surely, a level of relationship you cannot attain without getting married or something?

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I wouldn't tell anybody to marry.. or to not marry. What I can say is that for me, it's been a journey of incredible growth, an experience
that continues to shape me into being a better person every day.

Again, because you can't have that if you don't get married?

no I could not.. because at the heart of the choice to simply live together is the thought "if he/she pisses me off I can just leave" "I can keep all MY stuff, fsck him or her, I don't owe that biatch squat"

Marriage, IMHO is a formal vow that says we will be eschewing the word "me" in favor of the word "we" and again, imho that cannot possibly happen when the above
underlying thought process is going on in either partner's head.

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
no I could not.. because at the heart of the choice to simply live together is the thought "if he/she pisses me off I can just leave" "I can keep all MY stuff, fsck him or her, I don't owe that biatch squat"

Marriage, IMHO is a formal vow that says we will be eschewing the word "me" in favor of the word "we" and again, imho that cannot possibly happen when the above
underlying thought process is going on in either partner's head.

So a piece of paper changed everything? A ring and a rock changed everything? Him standing up wearing certain clothes and saying certain words changed how you thought about him or what he thought about you? You really believe an unmarried couple cannot experience the level of relationship you're experiencing?

The beauty of it is that you CAN leave. That's what makes STAYING that much more respectable. That much more meaningful.

If you gain anything by marrying, I'd wager to say that your relationship was severely lacking or that one or both of the people in the relationship don't care as much for the other person to their full capacity and, therefore, aren't ready for marriage.

In all your explainations of marriage, you use "my" a LOT.

What I can say is that for me, it's been a journey of incredible growth, an experience
that continues to shape me into being a better person every day.

That's a lot of "me" and not a lot of "we."

No, the main reason I married was because my husband challenges me and brings out the best in me.

That's a lot of "me" and not a lot of "we" too.

I was a bitter selfish wise and beautiful woman who thought of nothing but her own needs and pleasure. My husband's love changed something very basic inside me. Marriage has been very good for me in all aspects of my life. My husband makes me want to strive to be a better person. I imagine that many people marry for deeply held internal reasons.

Where's all this "we" you speak of? All I see is me-me-me.

We married because we wanted to, it pleased us to do so.

ah, finally some "we" talk. It pleases me to be with my significant other, but that's hardly justification for marriage.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Because prior to Red, I was a bitter selfish wise and beautiful woman who thought of nothing but her own needs and pleasure. My husband's love changed something very basic inside me. Marriage has been very good for me in all aspects of my life.
My husband makes me want to strive to be a better person. I imagine that many people marry for deeply held internal reasons.

Does that satisfy you ? I hope so because I can't get anymore direct or honest than that.

Btw, if you have adult children or parents who are still living, those folks can and very often do
challenge wills that leave assets to live in parmours, those challenges can tie up an estate for
years and leave a significant other penniless. That's not a risk I was willing to take.

So you get married to defend giving your stuff to your SO when you die?

No, the main reason I married was because my husband challenges me and brings out the best in me. We married because we wanted to, it pleased us to do so.

...surely, a level of relationship you cannot attain without getting married or something?

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I wouldn't tell anybody to marry.. or to not marry. What I can say is that for me, it's been a journey of incredible growth, an experience
that continues to shape me into being a better person every day.

Again, because you can't have that if you don't get married?

no I could not..

So a piece of paper changed everything? A ring and a rock changed everything? Him standing up wearing certain clothes and saying certain words changed how you thought about him or what he thought about you? You really believe an unmarried couple cannot experience the level of relationship you're experiencing?

Again, the underlying thought process of those who prefer living together is the thought that if things aren't to
their liking they can just pack up camp and leave and suffer zero fiscal,social or emotional penalties in the process. You handle situations differently
when the relationship is built on that premise.The "me, me, me" thinking remains there. When you decide to marry
and also decide that the word divorce will not be allowed to be said in fights, your mindset becomes very,very different.

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Again, the underlying thought process of those who prefer living together is the thought that if things aren't to
their liking they can just pack up camp and leave. The "me, me, me" thinking remains there. When you decide to marry
and also decide that the word divorce will not be allowed to be said in fights, your mindset becomes very,very different.

See my previous post, edited after your quoted post was edited. You talk a LOT about me-me-me. Every one of your reasons save "because we wanted to" which is ... well, anyway, all of your reasons have been me-me-me. Doesn't sound very "we" or "us" to me.

What does it matter if you get married or not if leaving is all you're thinking about? Married couples can be together and miserable and not want anything to do with each other. The simple fact that 50% of marriages in the states end in divorce is a flaming neon sign calling bullshit on the whole "force us to work shit out" bullshit angle.

Next?

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
Again, the underlying thought process of those who prefer living together is the thought that if things aren't to
their liking they can just pack up camp and leave. The "me, me, me" thinking remains there. When you decide to marry
and also decide that the word divorce will not be allowed to be said in fights, your mindset becomes very,very different.

See my previous post, edited after your quoted post was edited. You talk a LOT about me-me-me. Every one of your reasons save "because we wanted to" which is ... well, anyway, all of your reasons have been me-me-me. Doesn't sound very "we" or "us" to me.

What does it matter if you get married or not if leaving is all you're thinking about? Married couples can be together and miserable and not want anything to do with each other. The simple fact that 50% of marriages in the states end in divorce is a flaming neon sign calling bullshit on the whole "force us to work shit out" bullshit angle.

Next?

I gave MY reasons, my husband is more than capable of listing his own reasons and I daresay had I spoken for him you'd have found a way to twist
my words against me there as well.

If you don't believe in marriage Nik, then don't get married, it is not a life situation for everyone and I've never claimed that it was.

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I gave MY reasons, my husband is more than capable of listing his own reasons and I daresay had I spoken for him you'd have found a way to twist
my words against me there as well.

If you don't believe in marriage Nik, then don't get married, it is not a life situation for everyone and I've never claimed that it was.

When you join an ongoing conversation actively looking for valid reasons to get married where pages and pages of posts already exist shotgunning reasons that get torn to shreds in a giant meat-grinder-of-logic, be prepared to defend your reasons if you have the stones to post them.

As far as your words, they're your words. You spoke them. I don't have to twist anything.

Basically after several pages of posts and hearty debate on both sides of the issue, we've come down to this: "There is no reason other than taxes, children, and the 1% chance that your family are all cunts who will whine and bitch and fight over your stuff to prevent your SO from getting anything after you die."

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I gave MY reasons, my husband is more than capable of listing his own reasons and I daresay had I spoken for him you'd have found a way to twist
my words against me there as well.

If you don't believe in marriage Nik, then don't get married, it is not a life situation for everyone and I've never claimed that it was.

When you join an ongoing conversation actively looking for valid reasons to get married, be prepared to defend your reasons if you have the stones to post them.

As far as your words, they're your words. You spoke them. I don't have to twist anything.

Basically after several pages of posts and hearty debate on both sides of the issue, we've come down to this: "There is no reason other than taxes, children, and the 1% chance that your family are all cunts who will whine and bitch and fight over your stuff to prevent your SO from getting anything after you die."

Ok Nik, you win, happy now?

 

[Nik]

If that's the attitude you're going to have, then I guess I do and I guess I am.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Nik
If that's the attitude you're going to have, then I guess I do and I guess I am.

You have basically decided that your reasoning is the ONLY valid reasoning, I would never presume to tell another couple that they should marry.. or that they should not.

Your reasoning about marriage is valid when you're applying it to your life, not to the lives of other people who might think and believe differently.