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Realestate people etc, a question

runzwithsizorz

Diamond Member
A new neighbor who has hired a weekly pro lawn service, and a fertilizing/weed abatement company at $ 200+ per month, has threatened to report me to the HOA cuz my lawn isn't as nice as his. He says that sense my lawn isn't as nice as his, I am hurting his property values. Seriously? My lawn may not be perfect, but I maintain it pretty well. The rest of my home is near pristine.
Am I really hurting his property values?
 
Sorry, you signed away all your rights and humanity the moment you joined an HOA. I'd look over my shoulder and whisper, don't anger the salt fairies.
 
Unless your lawn is being completely neglected, he has no case whatsoever. Make sure you don't let it grow higher than 6", which is a typical threshold for getting a notice of some sort from an HOA and/or the city because critters will start to live in it. Beyond that, tell him to shove his nice lawn up his ass and to get off of your lawn. I lived in HOAs for years and I always kept it presentable, but I spent as little as possible on the lawn and I think everyone else should do the same. If a neighbor even hinted at some stupid shit like this, I'd go out of my way to make it worse specifically to make a point about (de)valuing pointless vanity.

In summary, you should not be scared of the HOA at all.
 
A new neighbor who has hired a weekly pro lawn service, and a fertilizing/weed abatement company at $ 200+ per month, has threatened to report me to the HOA cuz my lawn isn't as nice as his. He says that sense my lawn isn't as nice as his, I am hurting his property values. Seriously? My lawn may not be perfect, but I maintain it pretty well. The rest of my home is near pristine.
Am I really hurting his property values?

Stop being a Hobo and be a Good Neighbor!! 🙂
 
A more serious answer is to look at what your HOA agreement says you need to do. That's what you're bound by, not your neighbor's wishes.
 
If your place is OK then that's fine. He may have a perfect lawn and garden, but it sounds like he's just an asshole.

That said, we'd have to see your lawn to judge. I've met people who think their yards are fine, and they have 8" tall weeds and what not all over, and tall grass growing at tree trunks and fence posts because they can't be bothered to get the trimmer out or whatever.
 
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A pic of my lawn taken today, mine on the right, neighbor on left.
 
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Your lawn looks completely fine. Don't dump nitrogen on it just because it isn't perfectly green. That's retarded and so is trying to make grass unnaturally green just because.
 
Looks like he waters his lawn and you don't.
What does HOA say about lawn care?
He is just mad that he has to pay $200 a month and drive past your olive colored grass every day.

And wow, you have to share that driveway, with just that 8" gravel patch between you?
That would suck.
 
A new neighbor who has hired a weekly pro lawn service, and a fertilizing/weed abatement company at $ 200+ per month, has threatened to report me to the HOA cuz my lawn isn't as nice as his. He says that sense my lawn isn't as nice as his, I am hurting his property values.

just say this
SO FUCKING REPORT ME

also drop hints that you are banging his wife
 
Your lawn is fine. He's an asshole.

BTW, you share a wall with him? If so, that would suck.

Looks like he waters his lawn and you don't.
What does HOA say about lawn care?
He is just mad that he has to pay $200 a month and drive past your olive colored grass every day.

And wow, you have to share that driveway, with just that 8" gravel patch between you?
That would suck.

At least they effectively both have their own driveways. Around here in Toronto, people in some neighbourhoods share the same driveway, which is only one car width wide. I know people who share a driveway, but whose neighbour refuse to shovel in the winter. In that scenario it's almost better to not have a driveway and just have a street parking permit.
 
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Tell him that he's welcome to pay the folks to do your lawn too. Mention that you'd rather put the $2400/year towards your mortgage so you can move away from his ass all the quicker.
 
kindly inform him that the nitrates and bullshit he is pumping into his lawn is seeping into the water table and will soon be causing algal blooms and all sorts of horrible shit.

Advise him that he is poisoning his lawn and the water and property of everyone around him, then sue him for damages. Allowing natural plants and grasses and bugs to take over is a healthy lawn, not the abortion of unnatural greenness that he has going on. Just mow it when it gets too high and allow rain to add all the water that will ever be needed to your own lawn.

Also, tell him to fuck the fuck off.
 
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Tell your neighbor that his green lawn and ALL the water that goes along with it is hurting the environment and the planet.
 
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