<rant> calling tech support (rants and funny stories)

[NikPreviousAcct]

If you know nothing about computers, why THE HELL do you have Windows 2000 Professional installed!?
If you need to reboot, why THE HELL do you expect us to wait while your computer takes SEVEN MINUTES to reboot because you've installed every single program that you own on your PII 350!?

why, god, WHY

</RANT>

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Okay, when I say "click Start, then go up to Run," do not ask "then click on Settings, right?"

When I say "click Start, then settings, then control panel," do not then also say "and type in "cmd" right?"

 

[pyonir]

wait...so you want me to click start. where is start?

 

[Geekbabe]

I hear you... I just got home... I am brain dead

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
Okay, when I say "click Start, then go up to Run," do not ask "then click on Settings, right?"

When I say "click Start, then settings, then control panel," do not then also say "and type in "cmd" right?"

The exact reason why I don't do telephone tech support. I have no patience for morons that can't listen to three easy steps.

 

[CraigRT]

lmao.. i hate retarded tech support calls.. freaking bugs me to death...

i will never forget the guy that kept insisting it was a software problem when his piece of crap computer kept telling him it was not getting a dial tone...

 

[pyonir]

<----still hasn't found that 'start' button....

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: pyonir
<----still hasn't found that 'start' button....

ACK! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!

You're doing that just to annoy me, aren't you, ya little brat! It's okay. I'll just shut off your internet service.

nik

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt

Originally posted by: pyonir
<----still hasn't found that 'start' button....

ACK! I HATE YOU! <STRONG>I HATE YOU!</STRONG>

You're doing that just to annoy me, aren't you, ya little brat! It's okay. I'll just shut off your internet service.

nik

i don't use the ISP you work for. so NEENER NEENER NEENER!

 

[Geekbabe]

Arghhh !!! I spoke too soon, one of the clueless is on speaker phone with me as I type this, please,somebody shoot me !!!!

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: baffled2
Arghhh !!! I spoke too soon, one of the clueless is on speaker phone with me as I type this, please,somebody shoot me !!!!

45 or 9?

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: minendo

Originally posted by: baffled2
Arghhh !!! I spoke too soon, one of the clueless is on speaker phone with me as I type this, please,somebody shoot me !!!!

45 or 9?

whichever gun is most end user friendly please !!!!!

Actually, I think I'll settle for a shot of wine in my glass

 

[Shelly21]

I did desktop support before... It was a pain. Good thing I have 1st & 2nd level techs acting as firewall from the customers now.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Pyonir, I've got connections to all the major cable ISP's, and I've got connections to other connections for most DSL providers. I've even got a few connections to dialup ISP's. I can find you. Trust me, I can find you.

Baff, you work from home? You don't have a place to retreat to away from your subs??? :Q I feel sorry for you

nik

 

[DaiShan]

Oh God you guys are making me rethink this A+ cert crap, maybe I won't find a job and will end up working at publix, less stress

 

[pyonir]

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
Pyonir, I've got connections to all the major cable ISP's, and I've got connections to other connections for most DSL providers. I've even got a few connections to dialup ISP's. I can find you. Trust me, I can find you.

Baff, you work from home? You don't have a place to retreat to away from your subs??? :Q I feel sorry for you

nik

i don't use a major isp.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
Pyonir, I've got connections to all the major cable ISP's, and I've got connections to other connections for most DSL providers. I've even got a few connections to dialup ISP's. I can find you. Trust me, I can find you.

Baff, you work from home? You don't have a place to retreat to away from your subs??? :Q I feel sorry for you

nik

I work days in an office, I handle private clients at home.... nowhere to run, nowhere to hide !!!

 

[kamiam]

how do I get the mouse from the trap onto my computer???

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: Shelly21
I did desktop support before... It was a pain. Good thing I have 1st & 2nd level techs acting as firewall from the customers now.

I do ISP support... I'm a second level tech, but the Tier1 techs NEVER do what they're supposed to because the company set their required call times to less than FIVE MINUTES. So they get off the phone by transfering them to us all the time

...without troubleshooting the problem
...without power cycling the modem
...without going through the standard questions for the tickets like what OS, disabling firewalls, verifying no hubs/routers, when they last connected, if they made changes, etc.

It's annoying as hell, but pretty decent job security

 

[Rio Rebel]

I worked in tech support (still do, to some extent), but you know what? I get far more frustrated with tech support than I do with customers. At least I expect a lack of understanding with customers. Other than the occassional know-it-all who is difficult to work with, most customers let me give them instructions and appreciate my help.

On the other hand, WELL OVER 50% of the times I call tech support myself, I get some clown who is just reading me instructions off a screen, and is wasting my time. Even so, I almost always faithfully follow their instructions (because it's easier than trying to explain that I've already done this and if it were that easy I'd have fixed it by now), and I go through this 3 or 4 times until it's obvious that they can't solve it and want to get me off the line as quickly as possible.

Frankly, I find it FAR more frequent that I don't get help as a customer, than for me to get difficult customers as a technician.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Time to go read more stories from the Bastard Operator From Hell story archives

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Rio Rebel
I worked in tech support (still do, to some extent), but you know what? I get far more frustrated with tech support than I do with customers. At least I expect a lack of understanding with customers. Other than the occassional know-it-all who is difficult to work with, most customers let me give them instructions and appreciate my help.

On the other hand, WELL OVER 50% of the times I call tech support myself, I get some clown who is just reading me instructions off a screen, and is wasting my time. Even so, I almost always faithfully follow their instructions (because it's easier than trying to explain that I've already done this and if it were that easy I'd have fixed it by now), and I go through this 3 or 4 times until it's obvious that they can't solve it and want to get me off the line as quickly as possible.

Frankly, I find it FAR more frequent that I don't get help as a customer, than for me to get difficult customers as a technician.

Ha !! call me, I'll "help " you, muwhahahaha !!!! lol, that's it for the day here, unless it's clients on emergency contracts, my brain is going to explode I swear

 

[MrBond]

I did tech support for a long time, good thing I did too. Made me hate dealing with people/computers so much I didn't go into CS.

I had some bad calls though. Worst was Windows 3.1 internet setup. If you've only been doing tech support since Windows 95 came out, you honestly have it easy. Win3.1 blew...we'd just have people bring their computers in 9 times out of 10.

Windows 95 wasn't idiot proof though. Once I had a guy trying to start internet explorer by clicking on the internet explorer icon, then clicking on "start". Had one guy call me up once, and I was walking him through DUN installation on Win95, when for some reason I asked him what he was seeing on his computer screen. Turns out he wasn't AT his computer, and was in fact, writing down everything I was saying. From that point on, I asked if they were at their computers :/

 

[GrumpyMan]

When I turn off my computer why doesn't the little light go out on the monitor? It just keeps blinking at me!

 

[WombatWoman]

Originally posted by: Rio Rebel
I worked in tech support (still do, to some extent), but you know what? I get far more frustrated with tech support than I do with customers. At least I expect a lack of understanding with customers. Other than the occassional know-it-all who is difficult to work with, most customers let me give them instructions and appreciate my help.

On the other hand, WELL OVER 50% of the times I call tech support myself, I get some clown who is just reading me instructions off a screen, and is wasting my time. Even so, I almost always faithfully follow their instructions (because it's easier than trying to explain that I've already done this and if it were that easy I'd have fixed it by now), and I go through this 3 or 4 times until it's obvious that they can't solve it and want to get me off the line as quickly as possible.

Frankly, I find it FAR more frequent that I don't get help as a customer, than for me to get difficult customers as a technician.

Beautifully expressed. I agree wholeheartedly.

Ignorant, rude customers are to be expected (and, indeed, many of the people here would be out of a job without them.) An ignorant, rude customer support tech is a horse's ass of a different color.