<rant> calling tech support (rants and funny stories)

[djheater]

I already posted this in this thread... but since nobody ever actually reads any whole thread I'll just post again +1


My rules of engagement when dealing with users

1) I give as good as I get. Approach me with anger or conceit and I will make our conversation memorably painful. OTOH, be honest and sincere... follow my direction and I will go out of my way to make the call easier on you.

2) Do not lie to me. I have been doing this long enough that I can sense it... If I confirm that you lied to me, I have no problem calling you on it publicly embarassing you and documenting it so that the next tech you get knows you're a liar.

3) You called me for help. If you think you can fix it that's fine but you shouldn't have called me then. If you start arguing with me about the direction I am giving... you can go fvck yourself.... putting you on hold and waiting for you to exhaust yourself is a nice break for me. When you're ready to follow my instructions let me know.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Yeah, I saw that post. Lets not get this thread locked per a whole load of useless posts, mmmmkay? But still... most people here probably have had atleast a little experience with trying to help someone else with a technical question. Understanding what technical support expects, deserves, and supplies, unfortunately, still isn't widely understood by the customer.

nik

 

[GtPrOjEcTX]

Wow, I'll stick to my tech support job (hospital IS helpdesk)

 

[GrumpyMan]

Yes sir. we will fix that. Now go to your start button and then go to control panel.




But I have already hit the start button, my computer is on right now.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: GrumpyMan
Yes sir. we will fix that. Now go to your start button and then go to control panel. But I have already hit the start button, my computer is on right now.

LOL - never heard that one before

 

[bmacd]

lol

-=bmacd=-

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

LMFAO - I just got a call where some lady was pissed the I couldn't schedule a technician to come out until the 5th. She got pissed and started yelling at me about how I'm going to give her a credit. Becoming more tame on the phone than I was earlier as to not incite more conflict than necessary, I told her that I don't have authority over billing. What next? She wants to talk to my supervisor because she doesn't like the way I'm talking to her.

Her cable modem keeps dropping off line and regaining the connection, as it has for nearly six months. She calls in, gets a technician scheduled to come out to the house, and cancels the trouble call when her cable modem gets a connection again - does she not realize that it's going to keep dropping the connection!? Oh well.

My supervisor is sitting two cubes down and I can hear him from here raising his voice to try regaining call control Saying things like warning her that he's gonna put her on hold for a few minutes for her to calm down and how her ranting and raving instead of answering the technician's questions doesn't get the problem fixed any faster.

...sweet Jesus, this is gratifying to hear.

nik

 

[bmacd]

funny enough, i seem to be having the same problem with my cable...in that the connection with my modem randomly drops. Lately, it's up to 20 times a day. It really hurts on my DLs and it's just plain annoying now. Timewarner suggested that i get a line technician and a PC technician out to my house, and after ruling out my PC problems (or lack thereof), my dad said we weren't going to have a tech go down in our basement, so i'm out of luck and paying $50 a month for something that craps out every hour or so.

-=bmacd=-

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: bmacd
funny enough, i seem to be having the same problem with my cable...in that the connection with my modem randomly drops. Lately, it's up to 20 times a day. It really hurts on my DLs and it's just plain annoying now. Timewarner suggested that i get a line technician and a PC technician out to my house, and after ruling out my PC problems (or lack thereof), my dad said we weren't going to have a tech go down in our basement, so i'm out of luck and paying $50 a month for something that craps out every hour or so. -=bmacd=-

Having the two techs out (well, more importantly the line tech to check the modem and the lines) is the right thing to do. If your dad uses your service but won't let you get it fixed, tell him that you're fed up and going to cancel and that he can pay for it himself or get dialup or something. See how fast he offers coffee and cookies to the techs that you'll get scheduled to come out.

nik

 

[GrumpyMan]

My mom is Italian.

Yeah ma, now just hit any key on the keyboard.


Is that the little n with the squiggle on top that they use in spanish? I don't see one here.

 

[Relayer]

FAQ at my job

"what is my email address"

"how do I get on the Internet"

"I can't find my file"

"I don't have that application installed because it is not on my "main screen" (desktop)"

etc...

 

[Mucman]

Here is my favorite troubleshooting quick tip :

Customer : I can't get my E-mail!
Me : please go to CCN.com and read me the headline.
Customer : I get an error
Me : Sorry, you must call your ISP, you can't receive E-mail without a net connection.
Customer : Why not? I don't need to go on the net right now! I want my E-mail.
Me : *sigh*