I think the biggest issue regarding the things you listed are that one group is a minority (who up until very recently did not posess the same rights as the majority).
BET exists to provide a source of black-oriented programming in a sea of channels dominated by what is effectively white-dominated programming (even though BET actually does a tremendous disservice to blacks by promoting stereotypes) Check out
The Boondocks. Aaron MacGruder (who is black) loves to rip on BET for this very reason.
Black History Month exists because most of what is taught in schools is Western Civ.....eg: White History Millenium.
Black pride exists (and is generally acceptable) because it's an affirmation that they are indeed equal citizens to those around them....especially after so many years of not even being considered human. White pride, in theory, is perfectly acceptable (ie- my ancestors are from the UK....we invented some interesting things and had many contributions to modern society). Unfortunately the reality of white pride is "I feel that minorities are encroaching on my previously-untouchable position at the top of the social food chain....this is bad".
That said, I think we're really at a turning point in the status of "race" in the US. An excellent example of this is the much-publicized GA 4th district congressional race (I live and vote in this district BTW). The incumbent (Cynthia McKinney) has employed the "Us vs Them" brand of black politicking which has been prevalent (and effective) here in the south since the civil rights movement. She attempted to employ this same strategy against her most recent opponent (Denise Majette) despite the fact that Majette is both black and a Democrat. She painted her as "effectively a republican" and "effectively white". She also spent a lot of time loudly pointing out that Majette received a lot of money from pro-Jewish/Israeli groups (since blacks and jews have at best a tense relationship).
What happened? McKinney lost.
Why? Because blacks in the US have made so much social and economic progress in the last 20 years (especially in southeast Dekalb county.....lots of black doctors/lawyers/politicians living there) that they no longer identify as strongly with the Al Sharpton-style "FIREY RHETORIC(tm)" that once galvanized the black community. A local columnist (also black) summed this up very neatly:
But the same tactics are less useful, even counterproductive, these days. Because so many black Americans have joined the great mainstream, it is much harder for us to rail against it with any credibility.
It's because of examples like this that I think the way in which both blacks and whites think about racial issues is in a state of flux. I like to think it's for the better.
Fausto