Questions about Dating.

[Danman]

<< i always thought it was right dating etiquette to pay for your gf when you go out. but i do agree.. the whole gift thing was a bit odd.. since you dont have a steady income i would talk to her about helping out or doing things that dont require too much money... >>



Yea, and that's why I don't want to ask for her to pay for the stuff.......I am like, kind of embarassed to.

 

[SinNisTeR]

<< Yea, and that's why I don't want to ask for her to pay for the stuff.......I am like, kind of embarassed to. >>



i hear ya on that one.. but you gotta grow balls and do something about it

 

GeeZ! What's with the responses so far? It seems Sinister is the only one who's said the key phrase. I sure as hell expect my man to be paying for all the stuff like a real man. I don't think gentlemanliness is outdated now. Call me old fashioned, but my man's got to do that. If you can't then maybe you aren't prepared for a real relationship. However, at the same time, out of courtesy I offer to pay for things sometimes and often.

I think the change in roles has gradually occurred because of the new roles and rights/close to equality women now possess. Thus, women can work just like men, so the tradition of men paying for all of the expenses is gradually disappearing. Yet, I still expect it of a real man.

At the same time, I know money is something some men use to compensate for their lack of luv. So, Cashman, you might be overdoing it. And when you overdo it, it makes me wonder if it is really luv you have there or it is the feeling of joy and comfort in having someone to call "gf". In other words, it makes one wonder if you aren't in the phase of wanting to belong even if the feeling you have isn't complete. So, you use money to secure your "trophy" so you don't lose what makes you "in" with the "happening" amongst your peers.

In a nut shell, she has no obligation to do much or offer to pay for things. For, I'm afraid you're overdoing it. I don't think she should be paying for your over-decorative style. You should pay that yourself. Learn not to overdo things so your budget doesn't get too bad. I'm sure if you do things out of the goodness of your heart, she'll one day naturally offer to pay or when you go broke she'll piece back the puzzle and start to handle the finance. Of course there are always golddiggers, so make room for that. I doubt this lady is anything like that, though!

Gosh! I hope I made some sense there! Ooops! Cahsman is still a boy, not yet a man! Gosh! I forgot that for a while. LOL!

 

[Danman]

<< GeeZ! What's with the responses so far? It seems Sinister is the only one who's said the key phrase. I sure as hell expect my man to be paying for all the stuff like a real man. I don't think gentlemanliness is outdated now. Call me old fashioned, but my man's got to do that. If you can't then maybe you aren't prepared for a real relationship. However, at the same time, out of courtesy I offer to pay for things sometimes and often.

I think the change in roles has gradually occurred because of the new roles and rights/close to equality women now possess. Thus, women can work just like men, so the tradition of men paying for all of the expenses is gradually disappearing. Yet, I still expect it of a real man.

At the same time, I know money is something some men use to compensate for their lack of luv. So, Cashman, you might be overdoing it. And when you overdo it, it makes me wonder if it is really luv you have there or it is the feeling of joy and comfort in having someone to call "gf". In other words, it makes one wonder if you aren't in the phase of wanting to belong even if the feeling you have isn't complete. So, you use money to secure your "trophy" so you don't lose what makes you "in" with the "happening" amongst your peers.

In a nut shell, she has no obligation to do much or offer to pay for things. For, I'm afraid you're overdoing it. I don't think she should be paying for your over-decorative style. You should pay that yourself. Learn not to overdo things so your budget doesn't get too bad. I'm sure if you do things out of the goodness of your heart, she'll one day naturally offer to pay or when you go broke she'll piece back the puzzle and start to handle the finance. Of course there are always golddiggers, so make room for that. I doubt this lady is anything like that, though!

Gosh! I hope I made some sense there! Ooops! Cahsman is still a boy, not yet a man! Gosh! I forgot that for a while. LOL! >>




Uh, thanks........I am not a boy either.

 

[silverpig]

If you keep paying, she better start putting out.

Just ditch her once in a while for the guys, and go out and have fun. This'll save on your expenses with her, and it'll make her realize you've got other things to spend your money on. A relationship is a two way street. It's not something girls get into in order to get money out of. I had a g/f who didn't want to pay for much, and we eventually broke up 'cause we stopped going out and having fun. I only wish I'd kept more of that money for myself, and now I'd be able to buy the bike I want, but alas, I gotta save.

 

[silverpig]

No offense luvly, but I'm glad I ain't goin out with you. If she wants the relationship to be a one way street, she's got something else coming. And don't say that only a real man would pay for everything. Some real men have school, car payments, booze, and tickets to pay for, and that doesn't leave much room for a couple hundred bucks a month to spend on a chick.

 

[Novgrod]

If she doesn't protest when you're trying to pay, then you're her sugar daddy This isn't necessarily a bad thing: many (awful) relationships are based on exchange of money for company/booty. It's not for me, and it's not so grand a thing, but never forget that there are always women out there who'll take you for every dime.

In response to luvly, a gentleman ought to be willing to pay for everything, but not if she's not a lady. A lady is someone who treats you with respect and thanks you for your gentlemanly behavior. The explanations are:

1) a gentleman should never be expected to buy something more than once for someone who isn't a lady
2) the common theory: a guy is supposed to buy for a girl because of the social economy wherein he's trading money(read: protection/security) for her company et al
3) alias the american revolution theory (there have been a number of attempts to prove that the american revolution was all rich white men trying to dodge taxes. they've all been proven (conclusively) wrong.) Similarly, a gentlman buys for a lady because of nobility of spirit/niceness.
4) The evolutionary theroy: a guy is traditionally the provider. He also has the best genetic benefit (spreads his genes more easily) with more partners.
4a) he fakes being a provider to get the woman in the sack.
4b) he's trying to prove that he's a good provider and will be a good provider ad infinitum.
4c) he's really sorry that he's going to love her and leave her, so to speak, and buying stuff is a form of apologizing
5) he's trying to avoid a social debt or create a debt. See explanation 2.

If anybody is interested, I have much more written about this

Anyway, beware women who're trying to use you for money. Paradox: if she wants you to pay, she's not a lady and you shouldn't pay. If she doesn't want you to pay, she's perhaps a lady and you should pay

 

[lawaris]

<<

She should be offering to pay for some things, and you should sometimes accept it. My bf and I split things up pretty evenly, if one pays once, the other pays the next time. This excepts special dates, like if I invite him out specifically to do something then I pay for it all. But sounds like you may have found yourself a leech, check her background and find out if she attaches herself to guys like this on a regular basis and makes it a pattern. >>



BTDT .....I agree !!!!

 

[gopunk]

GeeZ! What's with the responses so far? It seems Sinister is the only one who's said the key phrase. I sure as hell expect my man to be paying for all the stuff like a real man. I don't think gentlemanliness is outdated now. Call me old fashioned, but my man's got to do that. If you can't then maybe you aren't prepared for a real relationship.

congratulations, would you like your right to vote to be taken away as well? women's suffage is bad, i mean, you don't to suffer do you?

 

[silverpig]

Someone has been watching the man show

 

[ys]

Don't take your daddy's hard-earned money to feed a girl.

 

[gopunk]

<< Someone has been watching the man show >>



best show on television!

seriously though, i wouldn't go out with a girl that talked like that... all this crap about what she expects from me. screw that, i just want to have fun.

 

[silverpig]

Damn straight gopunk.

I had a g/f for 3 years in hs and it sucked. I got bled dry, didn't go out with the guys and was a total pushover. Now I don't give a f*ck what anyone thinks, have enough cash for myself to go out and get completely sloshed whenever I want, and am saving up for a motorcycle for ME. None of this expectation bullsh*t for me. I've had some very casual things with friends and that's about all I want for now. I date the occasional girl here and there, but nothing steady. It's all about fun for me right now.

And that man show r0x! Ever see the clip of the boy selling beer? ROFLMAO. The only one that tops that one is the suffrage one.


And now to end this post, we give you girls jumping on trampolines.

 

[gopunk]

I had a g/f for 3 years in hs and it sucked. I got bled dry, didn't go out with the guys and was a total pushover. Now I don't give a f*ck what anyone thinks, have enough cash for myself to go out and get completely sloshed whenever I want, and am saving up for a motorcycle for ME. None of this expectation bullsh*t for me. I've had some very casual things with friends and that's about all I want for now. I date the occasional girl here and there, but nothing steady. It's all about fun for me right now.

right on bro... i've never had the misfortune of dating anybody like that... they've all either been cool with cheap dates or rich... i had one that would just offer me money whenever i said i was broke

And that man show r0x! Ever see the clip of the boy selling beer? ROFLMAO. The only one that tops that one is the suffrage one.

is that the man show boy? i haven't seen that one... but i saw the one where he went and bought booze with a fake id. that was hilarious "you're really a doctor? what kind?" "urologist"

And now to end this post, we give you girls jumping on trampolines.

adam has the biggest grin when he says that!

 

[silverpig]

If you have Morpheus/Kazaa just search for "man show" videos. You'll get a few.

In the beer one he's just selling it on the street in a lemonade stand like thing. This one lady goes off on him telling him that he can't sell beer cause he's not 21 and stuff. His response: "Hey listen Hitler, we don't sell any German beer here, so why don't you just get lost?" lol

and then he tells these two 70 year old women: "C'mon it's ladies' night. B*tches drink free."

 

[pdo]

If she's Asian than that explains it. Women wants equal rights nowaday so you should let her pay her share. If you keep paying for everything she'll think that she's the prize.

 

[cchen]

Here's an idea - right before the next time you go out, tell her you're broke, and see if she'll offer to pay or cancel on you

 

[silverpig]

Or just tell her that the next thing you're gonna be payin for is the motel room

 

[gopunk]

<< Here's an idea - right before the next time you go out, tell her you're broke, and see if she'll offer to pay or cancel on you >>



yea and if she cancels, run, and run fast.

 

[weezergirl]

<< Here's an idea - right before the next time you go out, tell her you're broke, and see if she'll offer to pay or cancel on you >>



hey that's a good idea. just the next time you go out, either say that you're too broke to go out or if she suggests say going to a movie instead say "well...i'm a little short on money right now could we possibly rent a video instead?" that way you're not straight up asking her to pay (that can be pretty awkward) but you are hinting to her. any sensible girl would offer to pay after that!

and i agree with the above post, about the whole genteman/lady thing hehe.

<--asian. and pays or tries to pay half of the stuff that she and her bf do.

 

[spaceman]

share share share.sometimes i pay,sometimes she pays.

its about time spent together and not money.

 

[6TNINE]

all the girls i know do not have any cash, they work all the fricken time, 40 hours/week and full time students, all they do is buy clothes and stuff, their parents pay for their schooling, just bad money management i guess.

 

[rahvin]

<<GeeZ! What's with the responses so far? It seems Sinister is the only one who's said the key phrase. I sure as hell expect my man to be paying for all the stuff like a real man. I don't think gentlemanliness is outdated now. Call me old fashioned, but my man's got to do that. If you can't then maybe you aren't prepared for a real relationship. However, at the same time, out of courtesy I offer to pay for things sometimes and often.>>

Wow, I'm glad your outdated ideas of gender roles are fading away. I wonder, do you also think you should be barefoot and pregnant after you get married? Your idea and that idea go hand in hand.

 

[EagleKeeper]

pushing over $200,000 over the last 25+ years.

Still treat her like a lady. She is a equal (or more)

 

[Danman]

<< pushing over $200,000 over the last 25+ years.

Still treat her like a lady. She is a equal (or more) >>



damn! :Q