Query: If you were married, would you want to know whether or not your wife was a transsexual?

[gopunk]

im not dissing him, im just saying that there are other doctors out there who tend to disagree with him and his theories. i mean hes a specialist with addiction and drugs and what not, but there are other things he thinks hes a specliast in, but he isnt. i guess he tries to be a well rounded psychologist psychiatrist or gp or whatever he is, but he isnt.

hey i was just joking... it's fine that you disagree. i just like him cuz i think he's right. the theories he works with are just that - theories... i just think they're better than any other theories i've heard.

 

[exp]

<<

<< If you find out your S.O. is a transsexual you are clearly justified in a divorce. You were deceived and are under no obligation to stay with them. It's a similar kind of situation (only worse IMO) to finding out that she has been cheating on you throughout your entire relationship. Is she still the same person? Yes, but now you can see the big picture whereas before you were deluded. You are now better equipped to make an informed decision on whether you want to stay with this person. >>


putting my irrational fears aside, i don't believe it is worse. maybe they just never felt the need to tell you. i mean, there are lots of things husbands and wives don't know about each other, because it just never comes up. cheating is bad because people feel "cheated". they invested their love into this person, and this person has been putting their love elsewhere. this doesn't happen with a transsexual... assuming they dont' cheat, there is no misbalance of love. >>

I can't speak for everyone but when I feel cheated it has nothing to do with a balance of love. It's all about trust. I trusted this person to be faithful and they represented themselves as such. Lying about a major personal trait (i.e. loyalty) is the main issue. Lying about ones gender (a fundamental concept) would be that much worse.


<< presumably you knew your wife quite a while before you two got married. do you really think finding out that she was a man previously, diminishes her qualities? i mean objectively speaking, putting emotion aside... it's like if you bought and drove a car for 15 years and it ran great. then, you found out it was rebuilt from a wreck. does that make it any less of a car? >>

Not "less of a car", but rather a different car altogether. It's more like if I thought I was driving a Ford but discovered later that it was actually a Chevy. That revelation would justify reevaluating the situation in light of the newfound information, and making a change if I felt it was in my best interest. But the analogy does not fit, anyway. I don't ask my car, an inanimate object, to be brutally honest with me at all times (it is non-sentient so that is obviously impossible)...I *do* ask that of my S.O., who has the free will to make the correct choice.

 

[Nocturnal]

i dunno... i mean by the time youre married wouldnt you have poked a few times? i would think you would be able to see the scarring of where the penis once was. also, i would think that my mate looks a little manly. most of the trannies ive ever seen in real life look or have features of males. there are some though that you can almost not tell that they are trannies. but i think most you could...

 

[exp]

<< She had outer female genitalia (if I remember right), but she had testes inside instead of overies and her DNA was that of a male. >>

Yes, those are internalized testes. What a traumatic experience it must be for someone to find that out, especially because parents typically conceal such information from their children until they are much older...even after they are sexually active.


<< Anyone here know the facts about the multiplicity of genders, i.e., that there are not just males and femals (but a variety of hermaphrodites and women that are genetically male but typically don't find out)? >>

Hmm...I just had an interesting discussion related to that the other day. It was the case study of a 40 year-old man who had been happily married for 20 years...he had a very pleasant life. However, he happened to possess ambiguous genitalia and the physician determined during the course of a routine test (initiated for an unrelated reason) that this person was genotypically female. Should the patient be told?

 

[gopunk]

Hmm...I just had an interesting discussion related to that the other day. It was the case study of a 40 year-old man who had been happily married for 20 years...he had a very pleasant life. However, he happened to possess ambiguous genitalia and the physician determined during the course of a routine test (initiated for an unrelated reason) that this person was genotypically female. Should the patient be told?

well that would really depend on the patient's mental state, imo. does this mean he produced female hormones? profound implications in the nature vs. nurture debate, if that is the case. though i personally side with nature in regards to matters like this.

 

[Nefrodite]

woah, trippy question. i'm not sure i'd be good enough to get over something like that. its hard to say what you'd do if it has never happened to you. say your wife is kind of plain or even has slightly masculine traits you always overlooked...maybe from then on they would glare out at you everytime you looked at her. then again maybe she is just sexy hot and very womanly.. that would make the decision even harder. course theres the dishonesty factor.. you should be told from the start not being able to have children is a big big minus in my book though.. esp since polygamy isn't legal

 

[jjones]

I would prefer to be the victim of some tragic and fatal accident before acquiring this knowledge.

 

[SagaLore]

<< It would raise issues, in my mind, about their past, and about their current mental state.

agreed... but suppose they were transsexual? what are you going to do? divorce? that doesn't seem right... you did fall in love with them after all. >>



Gopunk...

One day, you will see a vagina. You'll taste one, feel one, etc. On that day, you'll know the difference between that and a inverted penis skin.


Besides, even if you waited until the honeymoon to get into her/his pants, you would have figured it out after a few months of dating when he/she was never on their period!

:Q

Just wondering... but did you just get done watching Jerry Springer, or is there a special someone in your life? Or maybe you're that special someone?



:Q

 

[SagaLore]

<<

<< Of course I'd want to know. One of the main reasons....I plan on having children someday. If that person is a transsexual, it isn't possible to conceive with him. >>



Yet.

While there's certainly nothing wrong with being (or being with) a transsexual, I would definitely want to go into the situation with my eyes open. (Not that it wouldn't be obvious anyway... (and I say this from experience)) >>



oh my :Q

 

[SagaLore]

<< I watched something the other day on TLC. I'm not exactly sure about it all, but I remember that there was a girl on there. She had outer female genitalia (if I remember right), but she had testes inside instead of overies and her DNA was that of a male. (Or something like that.) >>



Oh I would love to see that. So... if she were a lesbian, she could do some spooning and get the other girl pregnant? :Q

 

[SagaLore]

<<

<< hey, just curious, but do you have a thing for trannies? i think i remember you posting something about transexuals before... whats up with that?

i was listening to a loveline episode. they replayed it today, and so i thought about it again, and made another post no, i have nothing for trannies. it's disgusting, imo, and those who do it are most likely screwed up. however, if you're attracted to a screwed up person enough to marry them... i guess i don't see why the screwedupness would be a problem. that's just the type of person you're attracted to, imo. >>



was this the love line with kelly hu on it?

if so, did you hear the call from the 17 year old girl who said her boyfriend liked her to use her dildo on him? i heard that and i was like wtf? love line is kinda weird sometimes. >>



You mean, "in" him?

 

[SagaLore]

<< i dunno... i mean by the time youre married wouldnt you have poked a few times? i would think you would be able to see the scarring of where the penis once was. also, i would think that my mate looks a little manly. most of the trannies ive ever seen in real life look or have features of males. there are some though that you can almost not tell that they are trannies. but i think most you could... >>



"poked"?

LOL

LOLBUWAHAHAHAHAROFL



:Q