PSA: Don't put rocks inside your private parts

[Eug]

Gynecologists felt obliged to tell women not to put rocks in their vaginas, cuz... well... women were putting rocks in their vaginas for the "health benefits", as touted by Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle website, appropriately named Goop.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/27/health/jade-egg-vagina-partner/

 

[John Connor]

Obviously it should be pop rocks instead. LMAO!

 

[allisolm]

Gwyneth Paltrow is a nut job and anyone who follows her ''health" tips has rocks in their head.

 

[IronWing]

With no script, that story gets covered with pics from the "10 reasons to have sex tonight" slideshow. Apparently, CNN does soft pron now.

 

[nakedfrog]

Rock out with your... oh, right.

 

[mistercrabby]

need to rethink the phrase "getting your rocks off"

 

[Eug]

Gwyneth Paltrow is a nut job and anyone who follows her ''health" tips has rocks in their head.

Yes and yes, but unfortunately, these people exist, so unfortunately docs have to warn them not to do it.

 

[PottedMeat]

For example, if you're struggling to reach orgasm, Dr. Streicher advises taking some time to get to know your body through masturbation

whoa whoa whoa, this is devil talk

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Is a gerbil in the ass still okay?

 

[Eug]

Is a gerbil in the ass still okay?

Urban legend. No documented case of this actually exists.

However, a documented case of someone sticking a live eel up an ass does exist. And no, an eel in the ass is not okay.

http://shanghaiist.com/2010/05/01/man_in_sichuan_dies_after_friends_i.php

A man has died after an eel that was inserted into his rectum gnawed away at his bowels, causing agonising injuries which were eventually fatal.

 

[Platypus]

I like to dock rocks in my cock.

 

[Eug]

Urban legend. No documented case of this actually exists.

However, a documented case of someone sticking a live eel up an ass does exist. And no, an eel in the ass is not okay.

http://shanghaiist.com/2010/05/01/man_in_sichuan_dies_after_friends_i.php

A man has died after an eel that was inserted into his rectum gnawed away at his bowels, causing agonising injuries which were eventually fatal.

Hmmm... Apparently this is a thing. Another documented report of a live eel up the ass, this time in New Zealand.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10835890

Perhaps there should be a PSA about this too.

 

[shortylickens]

There was a time, long ago, when I would have defended Gwyneth Paltrow.

That time has passed.

 

[Exterous]

There was a time, long ago, when I would have defended Gwyneth Paltrow.

That time has passed.

Did she replace you with a rock?

 

[IronWing]

Did she replace you with a rock?

He's feeling jaded.

 

[zinfamous]

He's feeling jaded.

I feel that for as long as this thread is allowed to continue, there will be no shortage of rock puns from your end.

 

[momeNt]

Urban legend. No documented case of this actually exists.

However, a documented case of someone sticking a live eel up an ass does exist. And no, an eel in the ass is not okay.

http://shanghaiist.com/2010/05/01/man_in_sichuan_dies_after_friends_i.php

A man has died after an eel that was inserted into his rectum gnawed away at his bowels, causing agonising injuries which were eventually fatal.

Most of my friends have the decency to tape the eel's mouth shut. Never met an eel I trusted enough to go untaped.

 

[shortylickens]

I feel that for as long as this thread is allowed to continue, there will be no shortage of rock puns from your end.

 

[nakedfrog]

I feel that for as long as this thread is allowed to continue, there will be no shortage of rock puns from your end.

Mohs assuredly.

 

[mistercrabby]

shouldn't we be for anythings that gets women to insert things there... i'm mean a rising tide lifts all boats!

 

[bigboxes]

Gynecologists felt obliged to tell women not to put rocks in their vaginas, cuz... well... women were putting rocks in their vaginas for the "health benefits", as touted by Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle website, appropriately named Goop.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/27/health/jade-egg-vagina-partner/

Don't know why I read "geologists" when I first read that.

 

[mindless1]

Yeah, the article points out that those rocks can't be cleaned easily. Definitely go with golf balls instead. Wait, aren't gerbils self-cleaning?

 

[GagHalfrunt]

I feel that for as long as this thread is allowed to continue, there will be no shortage of rock puns from your end.

The puns get boulder every day.

 

[JoeBleed]

Don't know why I read "geologists" when I first read that.

Because rocks and geologists makes sense. Rocks and Gynecologists doesn't make sense. That's what i'm telling myself for reading it the same way.

 

[IronWing]

So what's your birthstone?