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Problem with a neighbor

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Now that you made your point consider the following:

Your neighbours are getting old, probably a little senile. It's not their fault.

They have always been nice to you up to this point.

They care VERY much (old lady was in tears according to one of your post) about the look of the fence.

They might be stuck to look at your ugly fence color for the rest of their life.

You have nothing to gain by having the neighbour mad at you.


Why don't you be the nice guy, ask them to buy some paint of the color of their choice and paint their side of the fence for them.

That way everybody is happy and you have the moral high ground.


 
Just wait... they'll build a 10 foot fence, and paint the top of it (above yours) fluorescent orange. 😛
 
Originally posted by: Number1
Now that you made your point consider the following:

Your neighbours are getting old, probably a little senile. It's not their fault.

They have always been nice to you up to this point.

They care VERY much (old lady was in tears according to one of your post) about the look of the fence.

They might be stuck to look at your ugly fence color for the rest of their life.

You have nothing to gain by having the neighbour mad at you.


Why don't you be the nice guy, ask them to buy some paint of the color of their choice and paint their side of the fence for them.

That way everybody is happy and you have the moral high ground.
Click to expand...

The way they were nice and hired a contractor and tried to make me pay for it? The way they were nice and threatened and bullied me? If I caved now they wouldn't have any respect for me. ALL they care about is getting what they want. If they were decent people, they would have apologized for being jerks. But they aren't going to, and therefore, they have the option of building their own fence.
 
Originally posted by: wyvrn
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: Number1
Now that you made your point consider the following:

Your neighbours are getting old, probably a little senile. It's not their fault.

They have always been nice to you up to this point.

They care VERY much (old lady was in tears according to one of your post) about the look of the fence.

They might be stuck to look at your ugly fence color for the rest of their life.

You have nothing to gain by having the neighbour mad at you.


Why don't you be the nice guy, ask them to buy some paint of the color of their choice and paint their side of the fence for them.

That way everybody is happy and you have the moral high ground.


</end quote></div>

The way they were nice and hired a contractor and tried to make me pay for it? The way they were nice and threatened and bullied me? If I caved now they wouldn't have any respect for me. ALL they care about is getting what they want. If they were decent people, they would have apologized for being jerks. But they aren't going to, and therefore, they have the option of building their own fence.
Click to expand...

All you had to do was say no I'm not going to pay for a fence built on your property, but instead you wanted to tell them how a fence on their property should look like. Sounds to me like your the jerk and the bully. And why the hell did you secretly rip out the poles? Or throw the waste in their yard? As far as her kids treating you like crap, congratulations on not taking the high road and acting just like them. I hope I never have to deal with a neighbor like you.
 
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: bigdog1218
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: wyvrn
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: Number1
Now that you made your point consider the following:

Your neighbours are getting old, probably a little senile. It's not their fault.

They have always been nice to you up to this point.

They care VERY much (old lady was in tears according to one of your post) about the look of the fence.

They might be stuck to look at your ugly fence color for the rest of their life.

You have nothing to gain by having the neighbour mad at you.


Why don't you be the nice guy, ask them to buy some paint of the color of their choice and paint their side of the fence for them.

That way everybody is happy and you have the moral high ground.


</end quote></div>

The way they were nice and hired a contractor and tried to make me pay for it? The way they were nice and threatened and bullied me? If I caved now they wouldn't have any respect for me. ALL they care about is getting what they want. If they were decent people, they would have apologized for being jerks. But they aren't going to, and therefore, they have the option of building their own fence.</end quote></div>

All you had to do was say no I'm not going to pay for a fence built on your property, but instead you wanted to tell them how a fence on their property should look like. Sounds to me like your the jerk and the bully. And why the hell did you secretly rip out the poles? Or throw the waste in their yard? As far as her kids treating you like crap, congratulations on not taking the high road and acting just like them. I hope I never have to deal with a neighbor like you.</end quote></div>

I didn't say no to building the fence because it bordered both our yards, and was the nice thing to do. We were both going to get the benefit of it, so why not chip in? I have always either offered to pay half or do the work. Yes I could have said no, but then I would have been a jerk and it didn't solve the problem of the old fence falling down in my yard. I was trying to be the nice guy and help the old couple out. I also wanted the fence for privacy reasons, so this seemed like a way for both of us to get what we wanted.

I didn't tell them how the fence should look like. We agreed on terms on the type of wood, size, length, general cost parameters, etc.. Did you even read the OP at all? We had a conversation in which we agreed in principle on everything imaginable. I didn't bully them, I simply offered an alternative to a contractor job that was going to yield a shoddy product, and THEY AGREED. The problems didn't start until the neighbors' son berated and threatened me on the phone after they hold told me everything was fine.

Lastly, I didn't secretly do anything. I am in full view of their property. Once they rescinded their agreement, I simply moved the poles, in broad daylight, to my property. After all, I had paid for them. Should I have just given them $150 worth of fence poles and the concrete to boot to build their own fence with after they broke their end of the agreement, twice?

I understand you trying to see both sides, but you really need to be able to organize the events chronilogically in your head. You seem not to comprehend what came first and who started the disagreements. Would you not hold them responsible for their behavior if they had treated you this way?
 
Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude
Two wrongs don't make a right. You and your neighbors have successfully acted impulsively.

Nice fence though.
Click to expand...

you are right. two wrongs don't make a right.

they shouldnt have talked to a contracter and try to make him pay for half without talking ot him. the son shouldnt have come and threatened him and coplain about stupid stuff.

you do that kind of stuff you piss off people who are trying to work with you and give you a cheaper way for waht they want.

 
OMG LMAO!!! i cant believe you actually had the guts to go through with painting their side all those crazy colors, well, all I can say is you tried to give them every chance you could but they just wouldnt quit, I am sure everyone learned some lesson here.
 
Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude
Two wrongs don't make a right. You and your neighbors have successfully acted impulsively.

Nice fence though.
Click to expand...

I love holier than thou people. OP did something somewhat childish, but I would have done the exact same thing.

He was trying to be a nice guy and was physically threatened at least once. That is absolutely uncalled for and I can't believe most of you ***** idiots can't see that. It really annoys me when people are that stupid (1 post up and a few posts above that for example).
 
Um, why did you put the decorative side of the panels facing them? My neighbor weaseled out of responsibility for a fence between us that fell down in a storm and I put the panels up with the rails and poles on their side.
 
Originally posted by: MrDudeMan
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude
Two wrongs don't make a right. You and your neighbors have successfully acted impulsively.

Nice fence though.</end quote></div>

I love holier than thou people. OP did something somewhat childish, but I would have done the exact same thing.

He was trying to be a nice guy and was physically threatened at least once. That is absolutely uncalled for and I can't believe most of you ***** idiots can't see that. It really annoys me when people are that stupid (1 post up and a few posts above that for example).
Click to expand...

and what post is that? mine?
 
Originally posted by: PricklyPete
Awesome. My neighbors on either side have been great so far (crosses fingers), but you never know when one will turn on you. When I first moved in, one of the neighbors behind us complained about our dog who was barking a lot (only the first day or so as she was adjusting to the new property). I subsequently learned that the neighbor has complained about every single dog on the block at some point or another. I just ignored and the problem went away on its own (dog stopped barking once she settled in).

What really gets me is how infantile the sons were being. Older people can be expected to start getting infantile with age...but their kids should be keeping them in check.
Click to expand...

ah I dont really agree, I have a brother and my mom is pretty teary eyed gets all wound up for no reason. I am sure she called the son crying and saying that the neighbor was trying to ruin the fence for no reason and made up all these assumptions about what the OP was trying to do. You know moms, thats just how they are! I am sure the sons were trying to protect their mom but they should have known their mom was a drama queen by now, oh well whats done is done! Maybe next summer you can repaint their fence after they learned a lesson.
 
Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
Um, why did you put the decorative side of the panels facing them? My neighbor weaseled out of responsibility for a fence between us that fell down in a storm and I put the panels up with the rails and poles on their side.
Click to expand...
Might be city regulations that the 'utility' side of a fence has to face toward the owner's yard.
 
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: ballmode
poison their cat if they got one</end quote></div>

Uhm... this thread is about a FENCE, not about killing animals who have nothing to do with the disagreement. I hope that's a joke, if not you're a sad, sad, person.

Back to the topic....
:thumbsup:I would've done the same thing the OP did.... those people were extremists. They deserve to stare at a lavender and green striped fence. They are lucky the OP's left-over paints didn't include colors like "neon orange" - "lime green" - or - "hot pink"

 
Originally posted by: middlehead
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
Um, why did you put the decorative side of the panels facing them? My neighbor weaseled out of responsibility for a fence between us that fell down in a storm and I put the panels up with the rails and poles on their side.</end quote></div>
Might be city regulations that the 'utility' side of a fence has to face toward the owner's yard.
Click to expand...

I've always understood that the side with the posts is the house that the fence belongs to.


"The normal rule with garden fences, such as palisade fencing, is that the fence belongs to the side on which the fence posts stand. This is because the more attractive side, that has the fence posts hidden, usually faces outwards from the property it encloses. "


But in reality it's probably more of an issue of whose property it is on
 
Originally posted by: StartingLine
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Originally posted by: PricklyPete
Awesome. My neighbors on either side have been great so far (crosses fingers), but you never know when one will turn on you. When I first moved in, one of the neighbors behind us complained about our dog who was barking a lot (only the first day or so as she was adjusting to the new property). I subsequently learned that the neighbor has complained about every single dog on the block at some point or another. I just ignored and the problem went away on its own (dog stopped barking once she settled in).

What really gets me is how infantile the sons were being. Older people can be expected to start getting infantile with age...but their kids should be keeping them in check.</end quote></div>

ah I dont really agree, I have a brother and my mom is pretty teary eyed gets all wound up for no reason. I am sure she called the son crying and saying that the neighbor was trying to ruin the fence for no reason and made up all these assumptions about what the OP was trying to do. You know moms, thats just how they are! I am sure the sons were trying to protect their mom but they should have known their mom was a drama queen by now, oh well whats done is done! Maybe next summer you can repaint their fence after they learned a lesson.
Click to expand...

Yup, but even still the sons sound like they are just as much of a drama queen as the mother. The neighbors were definitely wrong for not being civil about it, but escalating it by doing that may only make her sons really try to hurt you, and will only make things worse. I would have just taken it to court or not agreed to do anything after they decided to back off of the agreement twice. The lady can gripe and moan all she wants. Shoot I would just take the material and store it, and wait for things to settle. If they realize that they were being stupid, then we would talk, but otherwise why bother? Doing the paint thing only made things worse.
 
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