Post your favorite SIMPSONS quotes

[xSkyDrAx]

(when saying grace)
H: Good drink...good meat..good god, lets eat!

Homer becomes a food critic
[Homer breaks into song]

I like pizza, I like bagels,
I like hot gods with mustard and beer
I'll eat eggplant,
I could even eat a baby deer
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
Who's that baby deer on the lawn there?

 

[YetioDoom]

Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Ooo, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
Homer: ...
Shopkeeper: That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

 

[Titan]

Military school instructor at graduation: (paraphrase) "the wars of tommorow will not be on land or at sea, but in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In any case, the wars will not be fought by men, but by tiny robots. And from this day forward your jobs should be clear: to build and maintain those robots."

 

[HomerJS]

Homer disguised as Mr. Burns:
"Hello my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a package for me."

Worker:
Hmmm, Mr. Burns, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?

Homer:
I don't know

 

[ItTheCow]

"In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

 

[ScottFern]

"Whats happenin Fish Bulb?" - Bart talking to Homer

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

Homer: Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can get back to killing you with beer

 

[FoBoT]

D'oh!

 

[Kevin1211]

Guy: "I like your name Max Power"
Homer: "Thank you, i got it off a hair dryer"

(or something to that extent)

 

[jak stat]

Sideshow Bob: No children have ever messed with the Republican party and lived to tell about it.

Homer: What are those holes?
Car salesman: Those are speed holes, they make the car go faster.

Homer is imitating Krusty the Clown at Krusty Burger and starts beating up the Hamburglar rip-off in front of a bunch of kids.
Little kid: Stop! Stop! He's already dead.

Lisa: Only two synonyms? Aaagh! I'm losing my perspicacity!
Homer: It's always in the last place you look.

 

[NiteWulf]

Commercial spokesman: Possible side effects may include loss of scalp and penis.
Homer: What did they say about my scalp?!

 

[jfall]

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.



Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!




Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)



Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.



Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.



Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."

 

[Stretchman]

Dad, that's a sports bra!

All I know is I"m finally getting the support I need.

 

[slurmsmackenzie]

a toast to the host that can boast the most roast

i'm familiar with the works of pablo naruta

you there, fill it up with petroleum distilate... and revulcanize my tires, post haste!

frank grimes: if you lived in any other country, you'd have starved to death a long time ago
bart: he's got you there, dad.

marge: the lady in our garbage heap attacked me again today
homer: that's not the way she tells it.

 

[kindest]

look out...here comes old lady simpson. <-- homer reffering to marge

another one i ilke.. not even sure how it goes..
anyone know.. its when homer is talking like 16th century talk.
how dare thre kind shrew.
apoc on thee.

 

[Tom]

"Les enfants. Qu'est-ce que vous diriez d'aller faire un tour à... Blockoland !"

-Homer

 

[meltdown75]

Beep, beep! Out of my way! I am a motorist!

- Montgomery Burns

 

[FoBoT]

Homer: D'oh!

 

[funboy6942]

Homer on phone

Yeah Carl I know what you mean.
I have heard of teams sucking before but the were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. They just plain old sucked.

I think that was how it went. Out of most anything on ever said on the Simpsons that is the one I still remeber (sort of) and always make me chuckle when I think of it.

 

[hjo3]

No one outcrazies Ophelia!

and:

Let the commencement beginulate!

 

[Xylitol]

Originally posted by: YetioDoom
Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Ooo, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
Homer: ...
Shopkeeper: That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

:laugh::thumbsup:

 

[Remy XO]

When Lisa is practicing for the Spelling bee running around springfield she passes Barney on the ground passing out...

Barney: Ughh Relapse
Lisa: Relapse! R.E.L.A.P.S.E!
Barney: [in a joyful manner] and that's what alcohol has done to me! [dances]

 

[LeadMagnet]

Shut-up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip

 

[JMWarren]

You know what I'm talking about S-E-X in front front the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N

Krusty - SEX CALUDRON! I thought they closed that place down years ago

 

[Savarak]

Originally posted by: DPmaster
Bart: Good morning, Father dear! Hope your well.

Lisa: Are we taking the new Lexus to Aunt Patty and Selma's funeral today?

Homer: Hmm...Fabulous house...Well-behaved kids...Sisters-in-law dead...Luxury Sedan...WOOHOO! I hit the jackpot! Marge dear, would you kindly pass me a donut?

Marge: Donut? What's a donut?

Homer: "AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH!"
[Sounds of Homer making a furious time-travel exit, donuts start falling from the sky]

Marge: Oh look, its raining again.

That was one of my favorite scenes ever! Good ep too!