Post your favorite SIMPSONS quotes

[Tea Bag]

"Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: amdhunter
doh

see sig

 

[Stumps]

I tried to scream, except I had a mouthful of flab

 

[nick1985]

the simpsons have sucked for the last 5 years and should have been canceled to save it some dignity?

 

[yobarman]

"May god bless this rocket house and all who dwell within the rockect house!"

I think the funniest line EVER was when home was doing the commercial for the nuclear power plant.
(Homer forgets his lines)
Director Burns: (whisper)"...nuclear power.."
Homer: (bends over and squints eyes) "..nuclear power."

 

[FoBoT]

Originally posted by: amdhunter
doh

D'oh!

 

[PawNtheSandman]

Lisa: Dad don't you have anything healthy to eat like fruit?
Homer: Here Lisa, this dount has purple inside. Purple is a fruit.

 

[Juno]

Originally posted by: MoPHo
Bart: APRIL FO--*EXPLOSION*

when bart shakes homer's beer can for like 8 days straight and even puts it in a paint can shaker.

great episode!

the quote i could ever think of is, "mmm...donut!"

 

[DurocShark]

<nelson> Ha Ha! </nelson>


(though it was spelled "Haw Haw" in one episode where it's printed as a newspaper headline.)

 

[thesurge]

Homer, Burns and Smithers are going to buy an island (trillion-million dollar bill episode)

Burns: "Look Smithers, that island has freedom written all over it
Smithers: "That's Cuba, sir"

 

[Fritzo]

Homer (during argument with Marge): "Well, I seem to recall you ASKING me to get this fat!!!"

 

[edro]

"My cat's breath smells like catfood."

 

[Codegen]

Marge at the koi pond Homer bought for her birthday:

Marge: Oh, I now have a place to recoil my thoughts (something like that)
Marge (thinking): "How much money did he piss away on this?"

 

[Kevin1211]

when homer drops lisa off to some meeting and lisa asks something along the lines of "dad what are you gonna do in the meantime".. to which homer replies "i'll think of something".. the next scene he is doing donuts around the parking lot and saying "mmmm donuts"....

 

[Aftermath]

Oh! Look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man, from happy land! With a gumdrop house on lollipop laa-aaa-aaane.
/slame the door
/coms back in
If you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic!
/slams the door

Marge: I can't believe you bought that plow. We can't afford it!
Homer: If you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things!
Marge: Good!
Homer: Fine! I'll never, ever, ever do another stupid thing. Good night!
/angrily turns to leave and walks face-first into the open door of the truck
Marge: Oh, Homey. Didn't that hurt?
Homer: No.

 

[Gibsons]

Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over- 'conquered' if you will- by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthman or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

 

[anxi80]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: anxi80

Originally posted by: aidanjm
"You are Lisa Simpson".

Does anyone here remember what episode this came from?

episode title: lisa's substitute
episode name: 7F19 (season 2, 19th episode of the season out of 22)

did you google on that, or did you remember it cos you loved the episode?

i remember the title and the season, but not the production code or what number in the season it was. went to http://www.snpp.com for that info

 

[anxi80]

Originally posted by: aidanjm

Originally posted by: anxi80

Originally posted by: Koenigsegg
There's another one too, the one where Maggie is thought to be smart and Simon Cowell is on the show.

i remember that episode, but i refuse to acknowledge any episodes after the show "jumped the shark". but ill still buy them when they eventually come out on dvd. damn the completest in me. stupid matrix sequels taking up valuable dvd shelf real estate.

when did the show "jump the shark", in your opinion?

around 97-98 when a few of the better writers left the show. granted, the show does still have its occasional funny moments and good episodes, but when they started traveling to everywhere and anywhere and doing even more clip shows and homer just got progressively stupider to the point that it felt like a long running gag to see how much worse he can get is when i thought it to jump the shark. perhaps im just old school and wish for the days when phil hartman would make a guest appearance and show up to court as lionel hutz with no pants or fidget with his tie to convince a store owner that he was not wearing a tie in the first place.

 

[DPmaster]

Bart: Good morning, Father dear! Hope your well.

Lisa: Are we taking the new Lexus to Aunt Patty and Selma's funeral today?

Homer: Hmm...Fabulous house...Well-behaved kids...Sisters-in-law dead...Luxury Sedan...WOOHOO! I hit the jackpot! Marge dear, would you kindly pass me a donut?

Marge: Donut? What's a donut?

Homer: "AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH!"
[Sounds of Homer making a furious time-travel exit, donuts start falling from the sky]

Marge: Oh look, its raining again.

 

[OdiN]

Homer mmmm's:

mmmmmm......donut

mmmmmm......beer

mmmmmm........nothing


Homer: Stupid TV....BE MORE FUNNY!


And favorite episode ever...the Halloween special with Y2K killing the power plant, etc. I laughed SO hard when the planes fell out of the sky....straight down.

 

[venk]

I can't believe this one hasn't been posted yet:

NO BEER AND NO TV MAKE HOMER Something Something....

Go Crazy?

Don't Mind if I do!!

 

[corpseofworms]

Grampa: My son is NOT a communist! He may be a liar, a cheat, a communist, but he is NOT a porn star!
Grampa: B|tch, B|tch, B|tch!

Hi, I'm Troy McLure, and you may remember me from such ecology films as "Man versus nature, the road to victory!"

Ralph: When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine University!
Ralph: It's fun to obey the machine!

I'll probably think of more later. These may not be exact, I'm doing this of the top of my head.

 

[shilala]

Homer: Syrup is better than jelly.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

My personal favorite:

Homer - "To alcohol, the solution to, and cause of, all of life's problems"

The quote that should be adopted as the official phrase of most ATOT-ers:

Ralph - "Me fail English? That's unpossible"

 

[joe360]

Homer: Boy, you have alot to learn about women, when they say nothing's wrong everything is wrong. When they say everything's wrong EVERYTHING is wrong. And when they say nothings funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!