Post the best Simpsons quotes

[Mucho]

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[Pacemaker]

Ralph: Miss Hoover my worm jumped into my mouth and I ate him, can I have another one.
Miss Hoover: No Ralph just put your head on your desk and go to sleep while the other children are learning.
Ralph: Yay! Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking.

 

[kinev]

[As Bart and Lisa are going away to Kamp Krusty]
Marge: Lisa, watch out for Poison Ivy. Remember, leaves of three, let it be.
Homer: Leaves of four, eat some more!


Homer: Hey, Flanders! You're the worst coach this team has ever had!
Marge : He's the only coach this team has ever had... and the season hasn't even started yet!
Homer : Yeah, well ... he's wearing that hat like an idiot.
Marge: Homer, it's very easy to criticize.
Homer: fun, too!

 

[Fritzo]

Moe (after rebuilding Flander's house): "...and this is the room with electricity. But it has too much electricity, so...I don't know...wear a hat or something."

 

[Gibsons]

No one's posted this yet?

Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over-'conquered,' if you will-by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthmen or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain; there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."

 

[Lounatik]

Kent Brockman: How canI prove we're live? Penis!

Peace


Lounatik

 

[purbeast0]

This is right as Ralph and his dad are gathering Tomaccos and Ralph takes a bite out of it ...

Ralph: Eeewwwww .... this tastes like grandma!
Wiggum: No it doesn't Ralphie, gimmie that ...

(wiggum reaches and grabs the tommaco from ralph, then takes a bite himself)

Wiggum: (spits out tommaco) OH GOD ... this DOES taste like grandma!

 

[sobriquet]

Bee Guy #1: To the beemobile!
Bee Guy #2: You mean your Chevy?
Bee Guy #1: <hangs head> Yes.

Bee Guy #2: Very clever, Simpson, luring our bees to your sugar pile and then selling them back to us at an inflated price.
Homer: The bees are on the what now?

Homer: In Russia, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

 

[Ipno]

Maybe just once someone will call me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene.'.

 

[SoulAssassin]

Originally posted by: Ipno
Maybe just once someone will call me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene.'.

I have Dancing Santa Homer who says that among other things. Homer singing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' is friggin hilarious.

 

[DaveJ]

Homer: "Here are your messages:

You have thirty minutes to move your car.
You have 10 minutes.
Your car has been impounded.
Your car has been crushed into a cube.
You have 30 minutes to move your cube.

*phone rings* 'Yello, Mr. Burns' office.'"

Burns: Is it about my cube?

---

Krusty: Eh, I could pull a better cartoon outta my ah...(realizes he's on camera)...hehehe, hey, whoa! Wasn't that great, kids?!

 

[KayKay]

Cayman Islands guy: [on phone] I'm sorry, but I cannot divulge information about that customer's secret, illegal account! [hangs up] Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said he was a customer! Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said it was a secret! Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal! [sighs] It's too hot today.

 

[apac]

Originally posted by: KayKay
Cayman Islands guy: [on phone] I'm sorry, but I cannot divulge information about that customer's secret, illegal account! [hangs up] Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said he was a customer! Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said it was a secret! Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal! [sighs] It's too hot today.

one of my favorites :laugh:

 

[djheater]

Moe: I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

 

[Daaavo]

Text

 

[sobriquet]

Homer: I was a political prisoner!
Marge: How were you a political prisoner?!
Homer: I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a diagram?

 

[mpitts]

Barney: Is it okay to come out now, Mr. Gay Man? Sir?
Moe: I'll do anything you say! Anything..

 

[mpitts]

John: Uh oh. Something's gonna die.

Homer: Butt out, Buttinsky. What would you know about hunting?

John: I know this much. I wouldn't wear that hideous hat. Here, take this one. It was worn by Yale Summers in Daktari.

Homer: Hang on to it, Toy-Boy! You might need it when it starts raining naked ladies!

 

[imported_Imp]

Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

:laugh: Hillarious. Cracks me up everytime.

 

[chr6]

The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.

 

[tfinch2]

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel.

 

[Schnieds]

Originally posted by: Pacemaker
Ralph: Miss Hoover my worm jumped into my mouth and I ate him, can I have another one.
Miss Hoover: No Ralph just put your head on your desk and go to sleep while the other children are learning.
Ralph: Yay! Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking.

Best one so far...