Post some cool tricks that you know of

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Feb 6, 2007
16,432
1
81
Originally posted by: mundane
Originally posted by: Atomic Playboy
...

When hunting lions, your best bet is to stay upwind of your target. Lions have a keen sense of smell, and can smell potential prey up to a kilometer away. Their eyesight is among the best of the large cats, so in many cases the lion will see you before you see it. Use a large caliber gun; in many African countries that allow the hunting of lions, it is illegal to use anything smaller than a .375 caliber bullet. Lions are most likely to attack when they are within 30 meters, so maintaining your distance is crucial if you can't line up a good shot.

...

If you're upwind of the lion, it is downwind of you. Given its keen sense of smell, wouldn't the reverse be preferable?

Given that I find hunting lions a detestable act, I try to take every advantage away from potential hunters. So no, I prefer the hunters remain upwind of the lion. And that they hunt them in the dark. With spears. Evens things out a bit.

But that's a good point, I should probably change that.
 

TheSlamma

Diamond Member
Sep 6, 2005
7,625
5
81
Originally posted by: CPA
Originally posted by: MrLee
Whilst getting a blumpkin, put a sombrero on the girls head, pour salsa in the center and tostitos around the brim. Now you can eat chips and salsa while getting a blumpkin! Enjoy!

lol, "blumpkin", I learned a new word today.
One that I would hope any man would never have to use... The only women I could ever see enjoying that work the street and use the line "it's just a rash"
 
Feb 6, 2007
16,432
1
81
Originally posted by: TheSlamma
Originally posted by: CPA
Originally posted by: MrLee
Whilst getting a blumpkin, put a sombrero on the girls head, pour salsa in the center and tostitos around the brim. Now you can eat chips and salsa while getting a blumpkin! Enjoy!

lol, "blumpkin", I learned a new word today.
One that I would hope any man would never have to use... The only women I could ever see enjoying that work the street and use the line "it's just a rash"

You're assuming it's a woman giving the blumpkin... I would think, given that men seem to be infinitely more perverse than women, that most people who give a blumpkin to someone would be male.

I love the pic that accompanies the blumpkin entry on urbandictionary where the word is used in the bot filter pic for Ticketmaster. Ticketmaster is so classy.
 

MyThirdEye

Diamond Member
Dec 29, 2005
3,613
0
76
Originally posted by: CPA
Originally posted by: MrLee
Whilst getting a blumpkin, put a sombrero on the girls head, pour salsa in the center and tostitos around the brim. Now you can eat chips and salsa while getting a blumpkin! Enjoy!

lol, "blumpkin", I learned a new word today.

I had to look on urbandictionary :laugh:
 

chuckywang

Lifer
Jan 12, 2004
20,133
1
0
Originally posted by: MrLee
Originally posted by: purbeast0
Originally posted by: MrLee
Whilst getting a blumpkin, put a sombrero on the girls head, pour salsa in the center and tostitos around the brim. Now you can eat chips and salsa while getting a blumpkin! Enjoy!

LMAO hahahahah!

I just submitted Blumpkin Con Queso to urban dictionary.

That's cheese man, not salsa.
 

adairusmc

Diamond Member
Jul 24, 2006
7,095
78
91
If you ever have to walk on a metal roof when it is wet, and are afraid of slipping - try spraying the bottom of your shoes with automotive belt dressing. Even if there is a little water on the metal roof surface, you will stick to it like glue. To get it off your shoes, just rub them in dirt or something to get the stuff off.
 

trOver

Golden Member
Aug 18, 2006
1,417
0
0
Originally posted by: compman25
Vinegar and baking soda make a good mix

especially when you put the baking soda in losly wrapped saran wrap, pour the vinigar into a pop bottle, throw the baking soda in, cap it, shake it, and throw it as high as you can in the middle of the street.

*run!*
 

chuckywang

Lifer
Jan 12, 2004
20,133
1
0
When disposing of a human body, pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't reommend that disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.

Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub.

If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.
That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.

Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.

Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you're get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don't try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you're not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.
 

ja1484

Platinum Member
Dec 31, 2007
2,438
2
0
If you've paid for a co-worker's lunch, call/email him like three times a day asking him to pay you back, especially if we're talking a sub-$10 loan. Do this daily.

He'll pay you back almost immediately.
 

Anubis

No Lifer
Aug 31, 2001
78,712
427
126
tbqhwy.com
Originally posted by: ja1484

If you've paid for a co-worker's lunch, call/email him like three times a day asking him to pay you back, especially if we're talking a sub-$10 loan.

He'll pay you back almost immediately.

ROTFLMFAO
 

clamum

Lifer
Feb 13, 2003
26,256
406
126
Originally posted by: ja1484
If you've paid for a co-worker's lunch, call/email him like three times a day asking him to pay you back, especially if we're talking a sub-$10 loan. Do this daily.

He'll pay you back almost immediately.
AHAHAHAHA!
 

apac

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2003
6,212
0
71
Originally posted by: chuckywang
When disposing of a human body, pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't reommend that disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.

Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub.

If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.
That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.

Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.

Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you're get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don't try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you're not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.

Mother of god.
 

edro

Lifer
Apr 5, 2002
24,326
68
91
Here are some of my driving ones:

1. When turning left at a traffic light, stay back ~1 car length.
This will engage the impedance detector under the road, giving you a green turn arrow.
You can see the cuts in the asphalt, in the shape of a large rectangle. Sometimes it is 2 car lengths back.
This will save you from waiting for the entire line of traffic that is facing you to pass before you can turn.

2. When driving down a street and the light has been green for a while, look at the crosswalk signs facing you.
These are letting the pedestrians that are traveling the same direction as you know that the traffic light is about to change.
You can take advantage of these as a driver as well.
Most will blink the Stop Hand 8-13 times, depending on the speed limit of the road you are on.
After the 8-13 blinks, they will have a solid Stop Hand signal, at which time the green traffic light will turn Yellow.
Watching the pedestrian signs will warn you of an impending Red light, allowing you to slow down ahead of time.

3. When driving down hilly roads, you can look at the telephone and electrical wires along the sides of the road.
This will let you know which way the road turns on the other side of the hill.
These wires almost always follow right beside the road.

4. When speeding in the left lane of the highway, watch about 1/4mi ahead of you.
If there is a cop, at least one of the cars ahead of you will bump their breaks as a natural reaction to seeing a cop.
This will give you enough time to slow down.

5. When driving through a parking lot, looking for a spot, you can look at the ground in a potential spot.
If there is a shadow, there is a car parked there.
If there is not a shadow, the spot is probably open.
Knowing if the spot is open before you can fully see the spot will prevent you from passing the spot and having to back up.
It also prevent the ass behind you from stealing it.

6. And one last one for those you you who have no comprehension of driving skill...
...to merge at any speed, AT LEAST match the speed of the traffic you are merging with.
You simple cannot safely merge with traffic if you are traveling at half the speed they are.
 
Feb 6, 2007
16,432
1
81
Originally posted by: chuckywang
When disposing of a human body, pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't reommend that disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.

Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub.

If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.
That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.

Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.

Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you're get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.

Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don't try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you're not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.

Are you trying to slow decomposition or accelerate it? I'd argue accelerate it, in which case draining the fluids is an unnecessary and messy step. Then again, when chopping a body into smaller pieces, there's likely to be a fair amount of fluid loss, so it's something of a moot point.

Nature can be your best friend when disposing of a body. When trying to rid yourself of an unwanted corpse, your number one concern is discovery by another person. Really, your goal is to hide the body. The best way to do this is an area not frequented by people. Wilderness, wetlands and large bodies of water are your friends here. If the corpse is in nominal condition, you can even prop it up in the front seat with you so you can take the carpool lane to the wilderness. There's nothing wrong with waiting until you reach your destination to dismember a corpse; the added smell of fresh blood will attract predators.
 
Feb 6, 2007
16,432
1
81
Originally posted by: ja1484
If you've paid for a co-worker's lunch, call/email him like three times a day asking him to pay you back, especially if we're talking a sub-$10 loan. Do this daily.

He'll pay you back almost immediately.

:thumbsup:

Nice sig too :D
 

IceBergSLiM

Lifer
Jul 11, 2000
29,932
3
81
seems like a lot of work when you can just pull the teeth out douse it in gasolin and light it on fire.
 

Anubis

No Lifer
Aug 31, 2001
78,712
427
126
tbqhwy.com
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
seems like a lot of work when you can just pull the teeth out douse it in gasolin and light it on fire.

that works however people tend to notice things when shits on fire
 

ja1484

Platinum Member
Dec 31, 2007
2,438
2
0
Originally posted by: Anubis
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
seems like a lot of work when you can just pull the teeth out douse it in gasolin and light it on fire.

that works however people tend to notice things when shits on fire

Especially things like a human fucking body in your backyard.
 

IceBergSLiM

Lifer
Jul 11, 2000
29,932
3
81
Originally posted by: Anubis
Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
seems like a lot of work when you can just pull the teeth out douse it in gasolin and light it on fire.

that works however people tend to notice things when shits on fire

im not saying do it in a quiet suburb....but in an urban area where a random fire isn't a big deal.