Post a great quote

[dasherHampton]

“the inability to forget is infinitely more devastating than the inability to remember.”

What quote that is. I need to hang this on my fridge so I see it every day.

I wish I could live by this wisdom.

 

[Kaido]

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” - William Hutchison Murray

I split things into two groups:

1. "Almost" Work
2. Real Work

I do an awful lot of Almost Work. Basically window-shopping instead of actually making progress on things. I've found that committing to doing something really changes the nature of your relationship with the thing, and like the quote says, all kinds of stuff happens that wouldn't have normally happened, because once you're committed, your lens changes & your perspective changes & you start looking at things differently & all of a sudden opportunities pop up in the form of information, help from people, material things, etc. Pushing an idea over the edge from "gee, that's a nice idea" to "I'm committed to this" changes our relationship to the world because it's like putting on a new set of glasses with which to see things.

This has happened every single time I've used this principle, whether it was for deciding to sign up for college & go to school for computers or learning how to cook or anything. I deal with a high degree of anxiety at times, as well as stuff like depression, low-energy, low motivation, and other issues, but latching onto an idea & committing to an outcome has proven to be an effective way for me to mush my way through my problems in order to get results. I think it's partly because until you commit, it's all vaporware, but once you get serious about something, you kind of start looking for ideas & opportunities and looking at things in a new light & putting in effort into researching & doing things and stuff just kind of magically happens!

 

[Kaido]

“the inability to forget is infinitely more devastating than the inability to remember.”

What quote that is. I need to hang this on my fridge so I see it every day.

I wish I could live by this wisdom.

I've had my share of crap happen in my life (I think we all have), and because of my anxiety, a lot of my memories are simply cringe-worthy. What's worked for me hasn't been so much forgetting or glossing over things, but rather changing my relationship with how I remember things. For me, it started with learning personal forgiveness. I'd hang on to things & feel bad about them for a really long time because rather than allowing myself to grow & do better, I'd just mentally curl into the fetal position & not deal with stuff. This is one of my personal mantras these days:

• I didn't know better before, but I do now, and that's okay

The key, of course, is to actually make a change & work on doing better, whether it's dealing with something you did or something that happened to you. Over time, I learned about the value of liking things for their intrinsic value, about giving myself permission to do things (and to let go of things & get over things & forgive myself), and about the value of pursing perfection (or rather, excellence) by focusing on progress & not perfection itself. This approach covers stuff I like to do simply because I like to do it, times when I've goofed up & I'm too hard on myself, terrible events that have happened in my life, etc. Learning how to separate the issues I deal with, both internally & externally, and not define myself by certain events & let my identity be ruled by them, has been pretty huge. Learning how to be happy in the face of a lot of garbage is not an easy thing to do! If you haven't read it yet, Viktor Frankl's book "Man's Search for Meaning" is a pretty good read if you're interested in doing a deep-dive into this topic:

• https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/0807014273

 

[dasherHampton]

Yeah, it's crazy how much of my current life I allow to be defined by things that occurred long, long ago.

Things I should have let go and forgotten about.

 

[dasherHampton]

Goethe has some pretty great quotes.

"There is no single vile thing, no matter how evil, that I haven't thought about doing" (paraphrasing)

Our actions define us. Period. Thoughts are our own domain, a domain in which no one else can judge us.

 

[Kaido]

Yeah, it's crazy how much of my current life I allow to be defined by things that occurred long, long ago.

Things I should have let go and forgotten about.

The weird thing is how a single sentence can change your life entirely. I had a friend who was involved in a serious car wreck in high school & it defined her life for a good 15 years after that. It was always on her mind, always got involved in her conversations, just thought or talked about it every day - very traumatic experience for her. She would even go far as introducing herself with that story in there. Eventually she more or less just gave herself permission to let it go & figure out who she wanted to be. I think the mechanics involved are:

1. Separating out experiences from who we are
2. Realizing that who we are is who we choose to be, not what we did & not what happened to us
3. Realizing that we can give ourselves permission to not only move on, but to choose who we want to be. This means we don't have to be defined by our past actions, by events that happened to us, our what we think that other people think of us.

Best way I know of is to write it down, even if it's just in an email thread to yourself as you get ideas & chip away on making progress on it. I grew up with a fairly domineering older sibling who squashed a lot of my ideas & self-confidence. I always felt like a second-class citizen, a nerd in society before geeks were cool. Eventually we both grew up & have a great relationship now, but that affected me for a loooooong time. And eventually I realized the three steps above - I'm not my past, I am who I choose to be, which can change anytime I want, and I have all of the power in the world to give myself permission to take action to do new things, different things, and be who I choose to be.

I'm not a big fan of the whole idea of "finding yourself", because that just gives us permissions to stall because then we're waiting for pending events that may never happen. I've grown to be a much bigger fan of effort & failure, where you try things & maybe you fail, but then you learn what you like & you don't like. For me, part of living with ADHD is having RSD, or what I call having "sticky emotions", where I'll just feel bad about things for a long time for no good reason. I'll sometimes get a random cringe memory from twenty years ago (thanks, brain!). But that goes back to my previous post about one of my personal mantras - I didn't know better before, but I do now, and that's okay. We're here on earth to learn how to grow up, not to get stuck in a rut & feel bad about everything forever, you know? Easier said than done, of course, but at least I have a clear path forward for dealing with that internal nonsense these days!

Ultimately, it boils down to choice. As George Carlin says, "ya gotta wanna". Because if you don't wanna, ya ain't gonna! The most basic foundation of our lives is our ability to make choices, so moving on from the past isn't about dropping blame or responsibility for things, it's about making the choice to (1) recognizing that maybe things weren't perfect or ideal in the past, but (2) it's OK to forgive yourself, keep that as part of your "lessons learned" library, and move on! As long as we wait for some magical event to happen to help us do that, we're stuck in a loop & our minds will keep bringing it up. It starts with the choice to move forward, to accept your past, and to forgive yourself. I know the word forgive is fairly cheesy, but until you decide that you're human, that you make mistakes, that it's okay to make mistakes, and that it's okay to try a different, better route & work on that for the future, it's really easy to just get stuck feeling bad because we're literally choosing not to let things go.

And to be clear, this stuff usually doesn't happen overnight. It starts with choice. This redefines our relationship with the memory in question, because this is reality & that is what happened, but we don't have to beat ourselves up about it forever. We can't change the actions of the past, nor the consequences, but we can choose how we managing the results we have to live with. Here's a good quote that applies to choices, situations, and people:

“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” - Ann Landers

 

[DigDog]

*doublefist punch*

- J. Tiberius Kirk

 

[Kaido]

Goethe has some pretty great quotes.

"There is no single vile thing, no matter how evil, that I haven't thought about doing" (paraphrasing)

Our actions define us. Period. Thoughts are our own domain, a domain in which no one else can judge us.

I don't think only our actions define us, because I do an awful lot of lazy, stupid things, but that isn't the same as who "I am". I think one of the biggest struggles of life on earth is clearing the fog between who want we want be & what we act like. Sometimes we're impulsive, or stick our foot in our mouths, or do or say things out of character for us. or get angry & go down the wrong path. I mean, I blab too much, I spend way too much time on the internet, TV, video games, etc., I let a lot of things slide, I struggle with basic tasks that should be easy to do...but that also doesn't mean I'm a terrible person & that I should solely be judged on my actions. I mean, I have 16 year's worth of post history here, and I've said an insane amount of incorrect & moronic stuff over the years...but I'm still growing as a person, and the more open to change I am, especially in terms of course-correcting my ideas & my attitude, as well as putting effort into stuff, the better results I've gotten & the happier I've been.

Once in awhile I'll browse my old post history just for ha-ha's. One of my early posts was "how do you setup a linksys router & configure the firewall?". Over a decade & a half later, I do IT full-time now & really enjoy it! Allowing yourself to change, as lame as it may sound, is really important, because otherwise we're stuck in stasis & stuck feeling bad & are basically giving ourselves permission to halt all effort towards resolving our situation, because it really just boils down to copping out of dealing with our problems. It starts with choice, which is usually the hardest part of the process (but spoiler alert, is actually really easy to do, once you are determined to make that decision!). So I think intentions have a lot to do with it, as well as the internal changes we're willing to make, which start with choice, and then build-up from there with things like effort & trying new paths!

 

[dasherHampton]

The weird thing is how a single sentence can change your life entirely. I had a friend who was involved in a serious car wreck in high school & it defined her life for a good 15 years after that. It was always on her mind, always got involved in her conversations, just thought or talked about it every day - very traumatic experience for her. She would even go far as introducing herself with that story in there. Eventually she more or less just gave herself permission to let it go & figure out who she wanted to be. I think the mechanics involved are:

1. Separating out experiences from who we are
2. Realizing that who we are is who we choose to be, not what we did & not what happened to us
3. Realizing that we can give ourselves permission to not only move on, but to choose who we want to be. This means we don't have to be defined by our past actions, by events that happened to us, our what we think that other people think of us.

Best way I know of is to write it down, even if it's just in an email thread to yourself as you get ideas & chip away on making progress on it. I grew up with a fairly domineering older sibling who squashed a lot of my ideas & self-confidence. I always felt like a second-class citizen, a nerd in society before geeks were cool. Eventually we both grew up & have a great relationship now, but that affected me for a loooooong time. And eventually I realized the three steps above - I'm not my past, I am who I choose to be, which can change anytime I want, and I have all of the power in the world to give myself permission to take action to do new things, different things, and be who I choose to be.

I'm not a big fan of the whole idea of "finding yourself", because that just gives us permissions to stall because then we're waiting for pending events that may never happen. I've grown to be a much bigger fan of effort & failure, where you try things & maybe you fail, but then you learn what you like & you don't like. For me, part of living with ADHD is having RSD, or what I call having "sticky emotions", where I'll just feel bad about things for a long time for no good reason. I'll sometimes get a random cringe memory from twenty years ago (thanks, brain!). But that goes back to my previous post about one of my personal mantras - I didn't know better before, but I do now, and that's okay. We're here on earth to learn how to grow up, not to get stuck in a rut & feel bad about everything forever, you know? Easier said than done, of course, but at least I have a clear path forward for dealing with that internal nonsense these days!

Ultimately, it boils down to choice. As George Carlin says, "ya gotta wanna". Because if you don't wanna, ya ain't gonna! The most basic foundation of our lives is our ability to make choices, so moving on from the past isn't about dropping blame or responsibility for things, it's about making the choice to (1) recognizing that maybe things weren't perfect or ideal in the past, but (2) it's OK to forgive yourself, keep that as part of your "lessons learned" library, and move on! As long as we wait for some magical event to happen to help us do that, we're stuck in a loop & our minds will keep bringing it up. It starts with the choice to move forward, to accept your past, and to forgive yourself. I know the word forgive is fairly cheesy, but until you decide that you're human, that you make mistakes, that it's okay to make mistakes, and that it's okay to try a different, better route & work on that for the future, it's really easy to just get stuck feeling bad because we're literally choosing not to let things go.

And to be clear, this stuff usually doesn't happen overnight. It starts with choice. This redefines our relationship with the memory in question, because this is reality & that is what happened, but we don't have to beat ourselves up about it forever. We can't change the actions of the past, nor the consequences, but we can choose how we managing the results we have to live with. Here's a good quote that applies to choices, situations, and people:

“Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” - Ann Landers

I owe you $120 for therapy.

Seriously though - it helps to read someone else's perspective at times.

 

[H T C]

Paraphrasing slightly:

"When do you think people die?
When they are shot through the heart by a bullet?
No.
When they are ravaged by an incurable disease?
No.
When they drink poison?
No.
It's when ... they are forgotten."

Eichiro Oda, in One Piece.

One of the best quotes in the whole manga.

 

[dasherHampton]

Paraphrasing slightly:

"When do you think people die?
When they are shot through the heart by a bullet?
No.
When they are ravaged by an incurable disease?
No.
When they drink poison?
No.
It's when ... they are forgotten."

Eichiro Oda, in One Piece.

One of the best quotes in the whole manga.

The essence of that is very familiar.

 

[Red Squirrel]

"The internet while full of information also has misinformation, and don't believe everything you read."

-Christopher Columbus, Circa 1500 while captain on the first transatlantic fibre laying ship.

 

[dasherHampton]

We all have a bag of private wretched troubles.

Given the chance - would you trade your bag for anyone else's, not knowing the contents?

 

[sdifox]

Eris pads her chest. - Aqua

 

[BurnItDwn]

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas

 

[IronWing]

"If you can't solve a problem, enlarge it" - Eisenhower

 

[brianmanahan]

"if we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

~ dan quayle

 

[deustroop]

I am William Wallace. And I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny. You have come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What would you do without freedom? Will you fight? Veteran soldier: Fight? Against that? No, we will run; and we will live. Wallace: Aye, fight and you may die. Run and you'll live -- at least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!!!

 

[JM Aggie08]

“She would have been a good woman, if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life.”

Taken a bit out of context from A Good Man is Hard to Find, by Flannery O'Connor. Most people are shitty, but have the capacity of being decent.

 

[BurnItDwn]

“There are two different types of people in the world, those who want to know, and those who want to believe.”

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

 

[Muse]

I have literally hundreds of quotations I can throw at you, I collect them. Just look at my signature for link to a great collection well worth checking out. I have a routine that picks one of my saved quotations randomly. I'll run it now...

Who is the wisest man? He who neither knows or wishes for anything else than what happens. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

[Muse]

Paraphrasing slightly:

"When do you think people die?
When they are shot through the heart by a bullet?
No.
When they are ravaged by an incurable disease?
No.
When they drink poison?
No.
It's when ... they are forgotten."

Eichiro Oda, in One Piece.

One of the best quotes in the whole manga.

The person who thinks and lives an eternal truth never dies, therefore.

 

[JeepinEd]

“It may be that our role on this planet
is not to worship God--but to create him.”
-Arthur C. Clarke

 

[Muse]

“It may be that our role on this planet
is not to worship God--but to create him.”
-Arthur C. Clarke

You guys are feeding my quote machine! Munch munch! That's a winner.

 

[HomerJS]

"Hit the one in the middle"

This...