Possible? I'm gay and want to be straight. Help!

[TuffGirl]

How about trying hypnotism? It works for people attempting to quit smoking. I didn't read all the comments so please forgive me if it's already been suggested.

However, your sexual preference is such a fundamental element of who you are. Why you'd want to change that is beyond me.

 

[pofwit]

I believe that we all have a choice. I have been called homophobic because my persoanl convictions say that Homosexual relations are unnatural. I have many friends both male and female that were gay and are now straight. E-mail me for more info.

 

[Descartes]

Originally posted by: pofwit
I believe that we all have a choice. I have been called homophobic because my persoanl convictions say that Homosexual relations are unnatural. I have many friends both male and female that were gay and are now straight. E-mail me for more info.

Or, more exactly, they were sick and tired of your homophobic diatribes that they decided to tell you they were straight.

 

[XZeroII]

Ok, I didn't read the whole thread, but I'd like to ask a question.

Are you turned on at all by women? Is there any woman out there you've got the hots for? Any woman at all that you think is sexy? If so, you are halfway to straitville.

 

[db]

shrinertech how would you answer this question: "I'm straight and want to be gay?"
Seriously. How would you counsel this person?



edit for lame spelling

 

[Stark]

Originally posted by: db
shrinertech how would you answer this question: "I'm straight and want to be gay?"
Seriously. How would you counsel this person?



edit for lame spelling

A: move to west hollywood or san francisco, go to gay clubs, have sex with people who are the same sex as you. That would make you pretty gay. Any normal looking guy on this board could go to a gay club and engage in homo-sexual activity, just like any normal looking woman can get some any time they choose, depending on how low they're willing to go.

Deep down they might not be happy, but they'd be "gay."

Maybe a better question is "I'm gay/straight and want to be happy," which is where the answers are harder to come by.

 

[MattyG]

To begin with. I hate to see people agonizing over being gay. I accepted...rather...realized that I was gay several years ago and never hated it. I did have different feelings about being accepted with my classmates and friends, but dealt with those feelings as they came along. There will always be people that dislike you for one reason or another, it is regretably just the way our society exists. As for hating yourself, I don't need to be a psychologist to tell you that you need professional help. No offense intended. I wouldn't suggest seeking advice from a clergy member either as they will be influenced by their own religion. You need to deal with whatever feelings you have and the root of those feelings. There are reasons why you label being gay as the root of your troubles and those need to be faced. I wish you luck in accepting yourself and dealing with the problems you face. We all do it everyday and sometimes it does become such a burden that we think we can't handle it. There are other organisations out there also that would provide a better environment than this for learning about yourself. Good luck.

 

[ppaik]

Move to WE-HO.....I think its hip to be gay here...


Also, you say you never chose to be gay.......it really isn't a choice, but you weren't born with it. I like food. I wish I didn't for health reasons, but i can't just turn off my love for food.....but if you can find a way to make yourself like girls more than guys, kinda like steak more than bread......than your gay illness will disappear. At least thats what I think, but what do I know....I still love food. Good luck...

 

[GeekDrew]

I had a chance to talk to a few people this evening. I had been feeling rather good about myself, but my self esteem went to hell in a handbasket after I talked to them. Maybe I'll give a call to my school guidance counselor... she only lives a mile away from me, is also a co-worker, friend, and good shoulder to lean on. I'll look up her number first thing in the morning. I don't want to wake her tonight, though it probably wouldn't be a bad idea the way I'm feeling.

:disgust::|

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: MattyG
I wouldn't suggest seeking advice from a clergy member either as they will be influenced by their own religion.

I think it's pretty safe to say that the clergy as a whole has no freakin' clue on how to deal with the subject of sexuality, period.

 

[hpkeeper]

I have the proof that being gay is not a choice.... just by saying this....


how can you possibly find love in a mans hairy a$$hole? there is no way in hell that can possibly be a choice...

and if it was... women have a$$holes too...

A higher power definately commanded that love was in a mans A$$hole and not in a womens...


with that said... I'm going back to being my homophobic conservative self because I'm starting to twitch at the thought
of the chocolate starfish...

 

[flexy]

Originally posted by: shrinertech

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
Andrew, being "used to it" can help in situations where you get ridiculed by allowing you to more easily brush it off. But it's sad that you're to the point where you've taken that much ridicule for it.

Oh well. The thing that scares me is that I'm only 18... I'm afraid of what I'm going to be facing in another five years or so. I have my entire life ahead of me

I save my time/pain reading the whole thread...

But...the **** i have no idea what your problem is actually. Do you know that there are gay people around who are totally fine with what they are and who are totally happy in their lives ?
You say you're 18, cool. Means..you are not too young (no kid anymore)....and not 'too old'..so what's the problem with that ? You have your life ahead of you ? And you are afraid ? Ehrm..... ok...

If you want advice...grow up, get MORE INDPENDENT, and MOVE AWAY from where you are right now (prolly some southern hick town ?????)...because there are plenty of locations around where a gay person can live a normal live and not getting depressions about 'being gay'...that's hilarious........the problem is (probably) not your 'being gay' (SEE THAT!) but the people you're around...so...chose a better/cooler place to live where the people are more laid back...eg. westcoast, bigger city etc.....and noone usually would care about such things like
sexual preference whatsoever....

 

[thraashman]

Shiner. the only way for you to be happy is to accept who you really are. If you are gay, be gay and be accepting of your being gay. Being gay is as natural as being black. It's something you were born to be. Anyone who is not accepting of your being gay, or who thinks that being gay is a "choice" is as bigoted as any member of the KKK. Remember the famous words in Shakespeare's Hamlet "to thine own self be true". Forget what other people say or think and concentrate on being happy.

They have to now have homosexual relationships (increasing the risk to their own health) because they have an inclination towards the same sex?

The only thing that would cause a health risk is that person being promiscous. Homosexual relationships are not a health risk. And FYI STD's are more easily spread via heterosexual intercourse than homosexual.

And as far as I'm concerned, there is only one thing on this planet that is both unnatural and wrong that alot of people choose to do. And that's be a christian. But that's just from my own observation.

 

[mi1stormilst]

Here is my 2 cents:

This life is all about choices, everything we do is a choice, if I get up in the morning I made that choice, if I quit my job I made that choice, if I decide to hob the nob I made that choice (thank goodness I have not done that). Anyway, its true somethings happen in our lives that we have no contol over...my grandmother just died...I had no control or choice in that matter. How I deal with these circumstances is my choice. It is your choice if you WANT to be GAY. It is your choice if you want to be STRAIGHT. Now I will agree that perhaps you find men sexually attractive and you cant help that. You can choose not to act on it. I am sure we have all thought about things we have not done. Sometimes I want to kill my dog and I think about all the bloody ways I can do it...a SHOVEL, a GUN, a board with nails in it! Seriously! My dog urinates everywhere and it pisses me off to no end (no pun intended). However I am not going to do it...because it is my choice. I think of u no less because u are gay...I am sure u are a fine person and I believe you are special to the people that know you. I respect you for placing yourself in a position to recieve feedback from such an unruley group. Do what you want to do because that is what u will do. If you CHOOSE to be straight it will probably be a long and hard battle (no pun intended...lol...long and hard) anyway seriously u will probably mess up and visit your lovers or something...butt (hehe...B U T T) if you really really want to be straight u can be.

I hope this was a serious thread cause I really took some time thinking about this.

 

[GeekDrew]

Originally posted by: mi1stormilst
Here is my 2 cents: This life is all about choices, everything we do is a choice, if I get up in the morning I made that choice, if I quit my job I made that choice, if I decide to hob the nob I made that choice (thank goodness I have not done that). Anyway, its true somethings happen in our lives that we have no contol over...my grandmother just died...I had no control or choice in that matter. How I deal with these circumstances is my choice. It is your choice if you WANT to be GAY. It is your choice if you want to be STRAIGHT. Now I will agree that perhaps you find men sexually attractive and you cant help that. You can choose not to act on it. I am sure we have all thought about things we have not done. Sometimes I want to kill my dog and I think about all the bloody ways I can do it...a SHOVEL, a GUN, a board with nails in it! Seriously! My dog urinates everywhere and it pisses me off to no end (no pun intended). However I am not going to do it...because it is my choice. I think of u no less because u are gay...I am sure u are a fine person and I believe you are special to the people that know you. I respect you for placing yourself in a position to recieve feedback from such an unruley group. Do what you want to do because that is what u will do. If you CHOOSE to be straight it will probably be a long and hard battle (no pun intended...lol...long and hard) anyway seriously u will probably mess up and visit your lovers or something...butt (hehe...B U T T) if you really really want to be straight u can be. I hope this was a serious thread cause I really took some time thinking about this.

Hmmm... Well I think that everything you are referring to are actions... as I can chose to perform a gay act. I use the word as a mental state, as in the fact that I am attracted to men. After talking to a few people, I initially concluded that I would just be gay, be myself, and leave it at that. A day later, I changed my mind because of a couple of events and conversations that I had in real life. At this point, I feel like $hit and don't know what I'm going to do. The only reason that I want to be straight is because of social reasons. I hate being excluded from anything... I know, that is probably selfish. Oh well... I'm just confused. I will probably either just be gay or be non-existant. Hopefully, the former rather than the latter. Maybe I'll change my mind later.

And yes, this is a serious thread. Furthermore, I apologize for the lack of sense this post probably makes. I'm not completely here right now.

Andrew Shriner

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

You could probably force yourself to behave in a 'straight' manner, but you would probaly be stressed in doing so.

If you think you want to do it though, you might run it by a counselor or someone with more experience.

 

[silverpig]

Originally posted by: ffmcobalt

Originally posted by: Pepsi90919

Originally posted by: BillGates
Being gay is a choice....

nope, no it's not

Prove it.

Okay. Choose to be gay for the next 5 minutes. I mean, really choose it. Go whack off to some gay pr0n, and then change back. If you can get it up, do your thing, enjoy it for those 5 minutes without thinking about a chick, and then can voluntarily switch back, you'll have convinced yourself it's a choice.

 

[GeekDrew]

Originally posted by: Yo_Ma-Ma
You could probably force yourself to behave in a 'straight' manner, but you would probaly be stressed in doing so. If you think you want to do it though, you might run it by a counselor or someone with more experience.

I already behave in a straight manner in every way except sex. I think I'll discuss it w/ a counselor.

Andrew

 

[Descartes]

For all the ignoramus' in this thread:

If you are a man and you're attracted to men, you are gay. Whether you act on it or not makes absolutely no difference whatsoever.

I loved the poorly drawn parallel between homosexuality and one's love for food as well.

 

[apoppin]

Originally posted by: shrinertech

Originally posted by: DoNotDisturb
well, don't go engaging in homosexual activities if you already haven't. the problem that lies here is some people that do end up doing that either end up liking it and stay homosexual, or they become shocked they even engaged in such an act that they decide to change. HOWEVER, you DO NOT need to take that path. Just start looking at women or something, actually become aroused when looking at them, get a gf later and everything should be fine.

Although I see your point of view, I have a different point of view. If I'm happy with it, then I may want to 'remain' gay. I don't know what might happen. I've tried looking at women, but I don't become aroused at all . I don't know what to do. To be gay? To try to change and be straight? I confuse myself. There have been quite a few girls ask me out on dates, but I have declined all of them because I wasn't at all sexually interested in girls. I like personalities and such, and that's what is really important to me. I think that sexuality takes a backseat to personality.

God. Maybe I should become asexual.

Let's see . . . there are the straight guys that only sleep with women called heterosexual; guys that like both are bi-sexual; guys that prefer only guys are homosexual . . . and guys that don't have ANY more sex are called . . .




NoMoSexual.




EDIT: Sorry for the pun, Andrew. I hope your confusion clears up and you can find a measure of happiness. You won't likely get much useful advice from this board . . .

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

I suggest you go talk to a shrink who has experience in relevant areas of counseling.

 

[GeekDrew]

Originally posted by: apoppin . . . and guys that don't have ANY more sex are called . . . NoMoSexual. EDIT: Sorry for the pun, Andrew. I hope your confusion clears up and you can find a measure of happiness. You won't likely get much useful advice from this board . . .

Yeah, I'll be a NoMoSexual I hope that my confusion clears up quickly. I hope to talk to my older brother for a while tomorrow. My that will help.
From the board, though... I've received a surprising amount of helpful advice (not necessarily in this thread), but a lot was crap. My apologies to those that actually helped

Andrew

 

[mi1stormilst]

Andrew...by the way...it is just my opinion...right or wrong is not important...you are an individual...you are important...what u decided to do and how you come to that choice is your battle...I wish u the best. I hope no matter what the choice that you find some peace. Sorry about the sarcasim I really mean well. Good luck and don't let life get you down...


(-:

 

[Clocker]

I think it would be hard to change unless you were not gay but bi

 

[GeekDrew]

OK... I have no idea why... but now I feel as though I am definitely bi or straight instead of completely gay. What gives? When I figure it out, I'll let you know. Maybe it's the desire to conform, maybe the desire for a female partner, I don't know.

Last night I was surfin around a warez site and up popped several porn ads. No big surprise there. What did surprise me is that I wasn't as interested in the males as the females. Something has definitely done a 180. Maybe it's my medication. I don't have a stinking clue. This is going against and defying everything I have ever thought or believed. I don't really know what's going ok.

Kinda scary... but at the same time, I like it. Now to see if it will last.

Andrew