POLL: would you date someone with a physical disability?

[AreaCode707]

<< Well, I'm certainly not going to drool over any 1 eyed, 6 breasted, 3 legged retarded bitch, but if it's something less minor I might be attracted. >>



Darn it, but my dog's lonely!

 

[eplebnista]

No, I wouldn't.

 

[AreaCode707]

bump

 

[Hammer]

I wouldn't especially if its something hereditary.

 

[Yeeny]

I do have a very much loved first cousin with Down's Syndrome, so it's not like I'm speaking out of disgust or anything.

Oh believe me, I hear you. I know too how hard it is to deal with someone who is handicapped, and even though I hate to admit it, I was horrified of having a mentally retarded child every time I was pregnant. I mean, I would have loved it, but they are so much work, and unlike normal children, they just never grow up. You will always have a child to raise in that case. So I don't think you sound callous at all, just honest.

Brutuskend: Actually, I think in some ways I am luckier than alot of people. My dad was the most awesome father I could have asked for, and even though he couldn't walk without crutches, that never stopped him from playing baseball, volleyball, wrestling, he was just awesome. My brother is the sweetest kindest guy I know, and unlike most of us so called "normal" people, he never has a bad word to say about anyone. So I think its just a matter of how you look at things.

And btw, have you ever read any of my posts? I am wondering, because you said I was OK...

 

[Brutuskend]

Yeah well, I ment in compairson! J/K

 

[Yeeny]

<< Yeah well, I ment in compairson! J/K >>



LOL, ok then, that I can accept.

 

[gotsmack]

once I dated this girl with a severe disability, but I never let a little thing like being dead get in the way of me .... uh... us, have fun.

 

[Nefrodite]

well here's a hard one, what if the disability included no nookie.. forever! that would be a true test.

 

[chrisjor]

Yes!!! One of the most attractive, intelligent, sensuous Ladies I ever met is an amputee!!! She is missing her left leg from below the knee. I have not seen her in a few years, yet I think of her a lot!!!

 

[Angrymarshmello]

It depends on what type. I'd go out with them but I have a hard time focusing on stuff other than that (a couple people have come into work with glass eyes and such, I end up staring at it - not on purpose though) - it makes me feel weird and probably makes them feel weird too

 

[Atlantean]

It would definately depend on how severe it was. If she was missing her arms and legs then I wouldn't cause that would be weird. If she had something minor, then I would consider it.

 

[linuxboy]

would you date someone with a physical disability?

Assuming that the person doesn't gripe, complain, and use their disability as an excuse for anything. Picture the type of person you'd be attracted to and then add in a disability - would you still express interest in them or be willing to date them? What about long-term? How severe would the disability have to be before you'd refuse to date them on those grounds?

Well, seeing as I have mild arthritis from working odd jobs during childhood (can't lift anything over 7 lbs with my hands without wincing in pain), I don't see how I could make an evaluative judgment of the other person (it's unjustified you see, I can empathize with it), let alone classify those characteristics as "date-worthy" or "undate-worthy". I guess my problem is understanding how or why one would even consider those traits/aspect/characteristics when choosing a mate? Unless of course of was a egotist or something similar or only lived for pleasure... Because that may potentially restrict one's range of activites.

I find it too meaningless to even bother with. Every person is a treasure waiting to be discovered. Some things are much more important than all this stuff people think matters.

Cheers !

 

[BoberFett]

linuxboy

You seem to be well respected around here, so I'll tread lightly.

I do have to say however, that you sound a bit egotistical yourself. If I'm interpreting you correctly, you seem to be saying that mental activities, ones which don't require full use of one's body, are more important than physical activities.

Consider the situtation if mental aptitude were the disability. The person is an excellent athlete and could keep up with you in every respect physically, but they're as dumb as a rock and can't hold an interesting conversation.

What is it that really matters if it's not physical ability? That only leaves mental, which in the case I just described would lead to your rejection of said "idiot".

 

[linuxboy]

You seem to be well respected around here, so I'll tread lightly.

The what now? I just post drivel on a forum. Since when is this attributed to any sort of worth of any person I am? Eh well.

I do have to say however, that you sound a bit egotistical yourself. If I'm interpreting you correctly, you seem to be saying that mental activities, ones which don't require full use of one's body, are more important than physical activities.

I never stated that. And I don't know what you mean as mental activities. The mind required neurons to function (I think). That activity is physcial in nature.

Consider the situtation if mental aptitude were the disability. The person is an excellent athlete and could keep up with you in every respect physically, but they're as dumb as a rock and can't hold an interesting conversation.

I really see no point in "interesting conversation". If you see anything I say as vaguely resembling intelligence, I apologize. People cannot be stupid as a rock. People cannot be stupid period. They may fall on a certain range on some sort of IQ scale but when I look at someone like that and smile and see them smile back, that's reason enough for me to enjoy them. Would I consider them as a potential mate? I never claimed I searched for mates or that I am currently unattached.


What is it that really matters if it's not physical ability? That only leaves mental, which in the case I just described would lead to your rejection of said "idiot".

No. I must respectfully disagree knowing your position. Mental activity, as you imply, seems to be defined in terms of "an intelligent conversation". That is not what mental activity is to me. That is not what I even consider, if anything, when "evaluating" a mate, assuming I were to do so. In the case of your proposed "idiot", where a lack of physical ability, or a disregard for it, leaves solely "mental" abilities, I must reinterate earlier sentiments that it still doesn't matter for reasons aforementioned. Do not assume I evaluate. This is a hypothetical, and I replied since I like conversing with HC and sharing random ideas here as it helps me understand what my own views on a subject are.

You may be right though, I probably am pretty egotistical myself and a good motivation for posting this rebuttal may be that I seek to impress or have some sort of twisted need to affirm my own self on a forum like this, where many people can put down my seemingly transparent self, as I think you just did.

Thank you.


Cheers !

 

[dukdukgoos]

There's a wonderful Japanese TV drama series called "Beautiful Life" that involves a relationship between a wheelchair-bound woman and a able-bodied man. It's amazingly well done and might change the minds of some of the people who responded negatively...

 

[CKDragon]

I would love to think that if anything happened to my girlfriend I would be a big enough person to stay with her. And honestly I think I would.

It would bother me if it was all of a sudden the 'center of attention' and often became the reason that we couldn't do things, however. I come from a fairly 'tough' family where we don't take sick days and we work through pain. When I hear that she's opting to stay home from classes for minor illnesses it irks me a bit. I would imagine that 'griping' that would result from any serious handicap might be quite a bit for me to put up with.

I would also hope that I wouldn't stay with her out of guilt. If something would ever happen, I would want to stay with her because I still love her and enjoy her presence. I would NOT feel good about staying with her purely out of guilt and I don't think anyone else should have to do that, either. I can't imagine wanting to leave her ever, but if I ever should want to, I wouldn't want the idea of it being 'because of the handicap' come into play.

Hope posting here wasn't bad luck...

CK

 

[BoberFett]

Perhaps I don't understand what you're trying to say.

<< I guess my problem is understanding how or why one would even consider those traits/aspect/characteristics when choosing a mate? >>

If you don't use physical prowess or appearance, and from your second post don't seem to use mental accuity in searching for a mate, what exactly is it that you look for? A pulse?

<< Unless of course of was a egotist or something similar or only lived for pleasure... Because that may potentially restrict one's range of activites. >>

I guess I'm not quite sure what to make of this. Is searching for a person with a physical ability equal to one's own egotistical? Or does preferring that a potential mate be able to join you in your physical activities mean you only seek pleasure?

<< I find it too meaningless to even bother with. >>

Selecting a mate or having preferences for what one wants in a mate?

<< Every person is a treasure waiting to be discovered. >>

I agree for the most part.

<< Some things are much more important than all this stuff people think matters. >>

So this brings us back to my question, what does matter?

 

[luv2chill]

baffled2 and linuxboy already stated my views better than I could.

We're all disabled in some way or another...

l2c

 

[Bleep]

My first wife who is dead now was a non sighted person, she was born that way. Why would anyone not date a "handicaped" person, are they not worthy of the same consideration as any other person. I read one person use the word UGLY, a disgusting term that should never be used to describe another human being. Placing limits on ones self as to who they associate with leads to so many problems in this world that cause so much grief to others is in my opinion WRONG. So much comes from this kind of attitude. Raceism,, Religous intolerance and other dastardly things.
Bleep

 

[Stiler]

If i fell in love with someone and it was true love, i don't care what the hell kind of disability she got i would stick by her no matter what, even if it was the worst disability anyone ever got, some of you people are so shallow.

 

[Jfur]

Yes, I would. I would base the decision on other things.

 

[fataIerror]

I can totally relate to this thread.

My current girlfriend had her right leg amputated below the knee from an accident. I wouldn't even think about leaving her because of that. Her mindframe hasn't changed a bit and she doesn't let it get in the way of her life (she gets her prosthetic on Tuesday!).

So my answer naturally would be yes.

 

[y2kc]

<< Let's turn the tables - if you were in a relationship with someone and you developed a physical disability, what would you do? >>



I've had this discussion with my wife and I told her that if I were to become disabled in a way that seriously affected her quality of life, I would urge her to move on. I just would not want to burden her with my misfortune in that way. I would not leave her if the tables were turned regardless of the severity of the disability, but I would not expect her to feel the same way. The reason I would urge her to move on is because I don't think I would be a very happy camper under those circumstances and to burden her with the emotional fallout of said disability as well would be totally unfair to her in my opinion.

 

[Muadib]

If my current gf got into an accident and became disabled, I don't think I would dump her because of it. But, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't if they were someone new.