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Poll: How would you react if your girlfriend planned to room with another guy for the summer? (need female input)

R

reitz

Elite Member
The situation:

Guy #1 and Girl (both go to the same college) have been dating for about a year and a half. They're both happy, and have no real problems in their relationship. Girl is taking a summer internship a few hundred miles away, and it will be the first time they've been apart since they started dating. Another guy (Guy #2) from the girl's major happens to land an internship with the same company in the same city. It makes perfect sense to Girl that they look for an apartment to share, both to save money and to have a familiar face at "home" in a city where neither one knows anyone. She is also somewhat comforted by the fact that she would have a strong male roommate in an unfamiliar and--compared to her hometown--unsafe city.

Guy #2 is Girl's ex-boyfriend, and Girl refers to him as such. They never really dated seriously; they'd see each other maybe once a week, and on weekends go to parties together and hook up. Their "relationship" lasted roughly thirteen months. It ended when Girl learned that Guy #2 had a girlfriend back home that he had no intentions of breaking up with. Things were very rocky between the two for a couple of months, but eventually Girl and Guy #2 were able to start a decent platonic friendship (about the same time Girl and Guy #1 began dating).

Girl swears that she no longer has any feelings for Guy #2, and that her reasons for wanting to room with him for the summer are only what's written above. She thinks very highly of him as a friend, but has a real problem with how he "cheats" (no sex) on his girlfriend and makes that very clear to Guy #1. Guy #1 and Guy #2 have never met, and know almost nothing about each other.




Poll question:

Put yourself in Guy #1's shoes. How would you react to the above situation?


Edit: I'll update this again tonight or tomorrow morning, but I'd like to get some input from the female ATers first. Good responses so far, though I'm a little surprised as to how many of you would put your foot down or break it off.
 
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Does the girlfriend & ex-boyfriend drink alcoholic beverages?
Click to expand...
Guy #2 is a frat boy, and drinks probably four nights a week. Girl drinks only on weekends, but not every weekend.
 
I wouldn't allow it. "Platonic" relationship aside, there is chemistry between the girl and Guy #2, and this could easily flare up under forced circumstances. I have had a similar discussion with my ex g/f, and asked her how she would feel in a similar situation if the conditions were reversed (i.e. he had the internship, and was planning to live with "Girl #2"). Her response was that it's not acceptable because guys are guys, and cannot be trusted (but girls can, because they're girls). Admittedly, in my case the specifics were different, but the essense of the question was the same.

As you might guess, that answer was not acceptable to me, and is one of several reasons why she is now my ex g/f.
 
Originally posted by: reitz
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Does the girlfriend & ex-boyfriend drink alcoholic beverages?
Click to expand...
Guy #2 is a frat boy, and drinks probably four nights a week. Girl drinks only on weekends, but not every weekend.
Click to expand...

reitz, I don't know if you're a drinker or not, but I asked because when you mix alcohol and close friends in tight living quarters, the end result could be something you don't want, understand what I'm getting at? If I were you, I'd talk w/ her about your uncomfortable feelings w/ this situation and discuss it some more. What she does at this point should be a good way to judge how serious she takes the relationship. I hope this helps a bit.
 
Originally posted by: Evadman
If you let her do this, you will lose her. No question.
Click to expand...

Definately. If your relationship with her was a priority to her, then she wouldn't be doing that in the first place. Time for a new girlfriend.


🙂
 
Originally posted by: BatmanNate
Originally posted by: Evadman
If you let her do this, you will lose her. No question.
Click to expand...

Definately. If your relationship with her was a priority to her, then she wouldn't be doing that in the first place. Time for a new girlfriend.


🙂
Click to expand...

either that or make her move in with you 😀
 
Originally posted by: Zugzwang152
Originally posted by: BatmanNate
Originally posted by: Evadman
If you let her do this, you will lose her. No question.
Click to expand...

Definately. If your relationship with her was a priority to her, then she wouldn't be doing that in the first place. Time for a new girlfriend.


🙂
Click to expand...

either that or make her move in with you 😀
Click to expand...


Pretty much every time the option 'make her....' comes into the thread, it's long gone.
 
Originally posted by: Zugzwang152
Originally posted by: Evadman
If you let her do this, you will lose her. No question.
Click to expand...

agreed.
Click to expand...

if he loses her...is that such a bad thing? I mean it's like she would've cheated on him anyways then. If you can trust her w/ this situation how can you trust her in future situations? You can call it a test for her.

-Ed
 
Originally posted by: reitz
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Does the girlfriend & ex-boyfriend drink alcoholic beverages?
Click to expand...
Guy #2 is a frat boy, and drinks probably four nights a week. Girl drinks only on weekends, but not every weekend.
Click to expand...
I'll bet he tries to stick his tongue in her ear before you get down the stairs to your car....
no way, dump now, or be dumped later....

 
Originally posted by: BruinEd03
Originally posted by: Zugzwang152
Originally posted by: Evadman
If you let her do this, you will lose her. No question.
Click to expand...

agreed.
Click to expand...

if he loses her...is that such a bad thing? I mean it's like she would've cheated on him anyways then. If you can trust her w/ this situation how can you trust her in future situations? You can call it a test for her.

-Ed
Click to expand...

I agree. In a way, The Guy#2 is doing you a huge favor. If the girl cheats on you, it saves more heartaches in the future. If she stays faithful, should give you a pretty good idea of how she views the relationship. Don't jump the gun yet, give her the benefit of the doubt.
 
Originally posted by: AnyMal
Originally posted by: BruinEd03
Originally posted by: Zugzwang152
Originally posted by: Evadman
If you let her do this, you will lose her. No question.
Click to expand...

agreed.
Click to expand...

if he loses her...is that such a bad thing? I mean it's like she would've cheated on him anyways then. If you can trust her w/ this situation how can you trust her in future situations? You can call it a test for her.

-Ed
Click to expand...

I agree. In a way, The Guy#2 is doing you a huge favor. If the girl cheats on you, it saves more heartaches in the future. If she stays faithful, should give you a pretty good idea of how she views the relationship. Don't jump the gun yet, give her the benefit of the doubt.
Click to expand...

Mmm... might be a good idea.
 
Stuff happens between a guy and a girl if they live alone together, unless the guy is gay.

voted for #1

-psianime
 
I voted other, because you either never "had" her, or else she's already gone. Therefore, "other" means forgeddaboud it (sound's like an incorrect chick to me).
 
No way is that acceptable and she should know how this is going to make you feel and get her own place.
 
Originally posted by: flavio
No way is that acceptable and she should know how this is going to make you feel and get her own place.
Click to expand...

dude girls aren't rational creatures...u should know that by now. If you try to cage her you'll just drive her further away from you and into the arms of her ex. Guess who she's gonna talk to about this situation? Yup...her ex. And guess what he's gonna say? "Dude that boy's trippin' why can't he trust you? huh? C'mon...you think anything's gonna happen between us?" Next thing that happens? She moves in with him...you two fight some more....guess who she's gonna cry to? Yup...that guy "Oh...Guy #2...you always understand. Why can't Guy #1 be more like you" oh oh...trouble comes along...they hug...they gaze into each other's eyes...Waw waw waw....you can use your imagination as to what happens next. She's awake at dawn and it's not cuz she's got to get up early for her internship.

On the other hand...you just say "Hey i don't like the idea but i trust you." What happens? Guy #2 tries to make a move on Girl...*SLAP* *SLAP* "My Boyfriend warned me about you...why didn't i believe him?! I'm such a fool! He's so supportive of me and this is how i repay him?! I should've known...GUY #1? Where are you?!" Girl runs to Guy#1 and both get their groove on till the sun comes up.

-Ed
 
Originally posted by: Zakath15
Originally posted by: AnyMal
I agree. In a way, The Guy#2 is doing you a huge favor. If the girl cheats on you, it saves more heartaches in the future. If she stays faithful, should give you a pretty good idea of how she views the relationship. Don't jump the gun yet, give her the benefit of the doubt.
Click to expand...

Mmm... might be a good idea.
Click to expand...

Not really. Even if she is planning on staying faithful, what if the guy comes home drunk and rapes/sexually assaults her while she is (sleep)drunk?
Would trust the girl more than I'd trust a guy.

What if she is just testing you to see if you are jealous? (Some girls see jealousy as a sign of love, so if you act like you don't care who she lives with she thinks you do not love her)

Say you are not comfortable with the idea, and that you are willing to help her pay for an appartment in a decent neighbourhood if she lives alone, or ask her to move in with you.
 
Originally posted by: BatmanNate
Originally posted by: Evadman
If you let her do this, you will lose her. No question.
Click to expand...

Definately. If your relationship with her was a priority to her, then she wouldn't be doing that in the first place. Time for a new girlfriend.


🙂
Click to expand...

Sadly, I must agree. What a way to start the new year.🙁
 
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