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Poll: How would you react if your girlfriend planned to room with another guy for the summer? (need female input)

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Originally posted by: Skyclad1uhm1
Originally posted by: Zakath15
Originally posted by: AnyMal
I agree. In a way, The Guy#2 is doing you a huge favor. If the girl cheats on you, it saves more heartaches in the future. If she stays faithful, should give you a pretty good idea of how she views the relationship. Don't jump the gun yet, give her the benefit of the doubt.

Mmm... might be a good idea.

Not really. Even if she is planning on staying faithful, what if the guy comes home drunk and rapes/sexually assaults her while she is (sleep)drunk?
Would trust the girl more than I'd trust a guy.

What if she is just testing you to see if you are jealous? (Some girls see jealousy as a sign of love, so if you act like you don't care who she lives with she thinks you do not love her)

Say you are not comfortable with the idea, and that you are willing to help her pay for an appartment in a decent neighbourhood if she lives alone, or ask her to move in with you.

well he should express his displeasure...but he should also say he supports and accepts her decision BECAUSE he trusts her.

-Ed
 
Originally posted by: Alphazero
Guy #2 = ex-boyfriend?! No fvcking way!

ok you really think if he lays down the law and says "I FORBID YOU TO ROOM WITH HER!" she's actually going to do that?

-Ed
 
Originally posted by: BruinEd03
Originally posted by: Skyclad1uhm1
Originally posted by: Zakath15
Originally posted by: AnyMal
I agree. In a way, The Guy#2 is doing you a huge favor. If the girl cheats on you, it saves more heartaches in the future. If she stays faithful, should give you a pretty good idea of how she views the relationship. Don't jump the gun yet, give her the benefit of the doubt.

Mmm... might be a good idea.

Not really. Even if she is planning on staying faithful, what if the guy comes home drunk and rapes/sexually assaults her while she is (sleep)drunk?
Would trust the girl more than I'd trust a guy.

What if she is just testing you to see if you are jealous? (Some girls see jealousy as a sign of love, so if you act like you don't care who she lives with she thinks you do not love her)

Say you are not comfortable with the idea, and that you are willing to help her pay for an appartment in a decent neighbourhood if she lives alone, or ask her to move in with you.

well he should express his displeasure...but he should also say he supports and accepts her decision BECAUSE he trusts her.

-Ed

And also specifically mention that you do NOT trust him.
 
Originally posted by: BruinEd03
Originally posted by: Alphazero
Guy #2 = ex-boyfriend?! No fvcking way!

ok you really think if he lays down the law and says "I FORBID YOU TO ROOM WITH HER!" she's actually going to do that?

-Ed

He says "It would make me to uncomfortable to have you rooming with an ex-boyfriend". If she does it anyway then there's bigger problems.

 
Originally posted by: flavio
Originally posted by: BruinEd03
Originally posted by: Alphazero
Guy #2 = ex-boyfriend?! No fvcking way!

ok you really think if he lays down the law and says "I FORBID YOU TO ROOM WITH HER!" she's actually going to do that?

-Ed

He says "It would make me to uncomfortable to have you rooming with an ex-boyfriend". If she does it anyway then there's bigger problems.

uh...ok...say he b!tches and moans and threatens and everything and finally she gives in...she's going to resent him FOREVER.

-Ed
 
uh...ok...say he b!tches and moans and threatens and everything and finally she gives in...she's going to resent him FOREVER.

No bitching and moaning or threatening. He just merely tells her he is not comfortable with it. She shouldn't want to make him uncomfortable so no resentment. If she wants to room with this guy so bad that she will resent it forever if she doesn't get to then ....bigger problems.
 
1. If she isn't going to be too far away, go see her as often as you can. Encourage her to come see you too.
2. Call her at least a couple of times a week.
3. Never, never, never show up without calling first!
 
Guy#2 hits 100% guareenteed. Save face and dump her in a very traumatic way to cause her emotional scarring, then move on soldier!
 
I trust my girlfriend enough to make smart decisions, but this one would be a no go for me. Although I trust her, I sure in hell would not trust Guy #2.
 
I think the main point here isn't that she's moving in with another guy. It's that she's moving so far away for a whole summer....that's what could REALLY damage the relationship. Tell her that it bothers you and then drop it. If you make a big deal about it, it's going to make her think you're the jealous type...and even though we all are deep down, girls don't like to know it most of the time.
 
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
I think the main point here isn't that she's moving in with another guy. It's that she's moving so far away for a whole summer....that's what could REALLY damage the relationship. Tell her that it bothers you and then drop it. If you make a big deal about it, it's going to make her think you're the jealous type...and even though we all are deep down, girls don't like to know it most of the time.

So you'd rather have your girlfriend in the house next door, drunk, between a few hundred horny ATOTers, than alone in her own appartment miles away? Distance is less of a problem than that guy.
 
I voted 'Other'. Combine options 1 and 4 and you have my answer. A long distance relationship is one thing, a long distance relationship where the girl lives with another guy is another. Regardless of the situation, I would say that a girl that moves in with an old boyfriend is grounds for terminating the relationship with the current boyfriend. If she doesn't see a problem with it she's just being naive, and if you are the current boyfriend and agree to it then so are you.
 
If you let her do this, you will lose her. No question

you've already "lost" her. she is playing you .

just reverse the circumstances - how do you feel she would react if you were sharing an apartment with your ex-girlfriend for the summer in a different city...

she KNOWS how bad this looks, and she knows its a slap in your face...if you put up with this.....

i'd start lookng around for someone else
 
Originally posted by: Evadman
If you let her do this, you will lose her. No question.

Agreed. The chances of a drunken hook up are pretty high in that situation. Look for alternatives.

 
You know, even if nothing ever happened with Guy #2. You'd always have that feeling... like... what if something did happen and you just never found out / etc. I was trying to picture circumstances where I'd feel okay in that situation, but I really couldn't think of any. Like say if the guy was my best friend, I'd still be wigged out.

If you don't care about losing her, you could let her go for it just to see what happens. But if you really care for her, I'd have trouble with the arrangements. It isn't about trusting her on her own, it is about trusting her and trusting the guy she is living with (which I think many have stated, but is pretty important to why anyone would feel uncomfortable).
 
Move on buddy. I do not get a good vibe from this sitution at all. Part of the problem is that Guy#2 is an ex. Ask her how she would feel if she was in your sitution. I highly doubt the answer will be "I feel fine." Just by asking this question of you is an insult to your intelligence. Get a new g/f.
 
Sh!tcan the idea of her rooming with her ex-BF; that's a no go and she should know better. Here's a suggestion, why don't you try to help her find a place where she's going that she can room with another girl or two. That takes care of the economics and offers appropriate companionship in a strange city; it also shows her that you're there to support her and help her by doing this with her.

Edit: She probably finds the idea of rooming with her ex-BF to be completely innocent, a naive outlook true, but above all it's convenient resolution to her problem of lving in a strange city. You need to get involved and help her find a better solution, not just suggest she do something else. You need to act, not just speak.
 
you've already "lost" her. she is playing you .

just reverse the circumstances - how do you feel she would react if you were sharing an apartment with your ex-girlfriend for the summer in a different city...

she KNOWS how bad this looks, and she knows its a slap in your face...if you put up with this.....

i'd start lookng around for someone else

So would I.
 
Originally posted by: Evadman
If you let her do this, you will lose her. No question.
If you put your foot down and forbid it, you will lose her.

I think it's doomed anyway since it seems that you can't trust her enough to let her make her own decisions. Do you really want to be with someone whom you don't trust and of whom you are suspiscious?

ZV
 
I think you let her do it (there is no real way to stop her) and expect to be dating someone else soon. If she happens to be able to pull it off without cheating, then you have a nice surprise and maybe a keeper.
 
Originally posted by: Corn
you've already "lost" her. she is playing you .

just reverse the circumstances - how do you feel she would react if you were sharing an apartment with your ex-girlfriend for the summer in a different city...

she KNOWS how bad this looks, and she knows its a slap in your face...if you put up with this.....

i'd start lookng around for someone else

So would I.

I have to agree with Corn, Evadman, heartsurgeon and all the others on this reitz. She knows what you would think of this situation and she obviously doesn't really care. You would have to be a lunatic to even be ok with the idea of her doing this(which I don't think you are because you posted here). Anyone who says this is a trust issue is either a girl or a moron.

Talk to her and try to work things out. If that doesn't work then sadly I think you must move on.
 
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