Poll: Guys, what would you do if a woman was beating the living crap out of you??

[B00ne]

just run

 

[NFS4]

<< actually the charges story were pretty hilarious...

Here's the situation.. I'm in this small teeny room with the juvenile officer... my mother to my right.. my father to my left... sweat pouring down my face... the room is absolutely silent... the officer is reading my account of the situation, and her account of the situation.... all of a sudden the guy coughs a couple times... sits back.... scratches his head... and starts laughing.

He goes something like this &quot;ok... I've read both accounts... and this is probably one of the more ridiculous cases I've handled thus far... You are in no way at fault here... however, I also met with Ms. Bowser's (yes thats right her name was Bowser) mother... and frankly this woman scares the hell out of me... she's not going to settle for anything short of blood... so here's what we're going to do. We'll be placing you on unofficial 30 day probation... which means... well nothing really.. but it'll get Ms Bowser to shut up...&quot; At this point I begin breathing again, and the blood starts reaching my brain.... &quot;t-thank you sir I stammer as I stumble out the door&quot;...
&quot;Oh and son.... way to use your head&quot; and the guy just starts balling with laughter....

-Max >>


That's the funniest thing I've read in ages!!!! Bowser!!! Haha, wasn't their a Captain Bowser in one of the Police Academy movies? You know the one where they put super glue in his shampoo and his hands got stuck to his head

 

[mcveigh]

Actually I did have something similar to this happen to me when I was about 12. I was in gym class (where all the fights happen) and there is one girl who for some reason never liked me, I don't know why but she really wanted to kick my ass. She out weighed me by about 20 pounds but I was sure I could take her.
At the time i was very chivalrous and felt a man should not hit a woman no matter what. so I just avoided her.

here's the funny part: One day she was talking trash to me and I was giving it back to her. Well she starts chasing me and I avoid her easily. Now I had this friend in my class with ONLY ONE LEG, he had a false leg but still used crutches. SHE GRABS ONE HIS CRUTCHES and comes after me swinging!!! IT was the funniest thing, her grabbing a one-legged man's crutch, anyway i was having a hard time staying out of her reach with the cane, and if I was caught fighting I would get suspended, so I ended up throwing a handful of sand in her eyes, got her real good too.

 

[monto]

<< 5) Grab their Boobies >>

agreed, but immediately cover your nuts

 

[OS]

The instant one of them drew blood from me, I would systematically beat the sh!t out of each one, one at a time, until every single one of them was on the floor. Before that, I would probably just take it because of that society brainwashing how women are fragile, gentle creatures.


I've had girls hit me, and usually what happens after they hit me is that they complain that I hurt their hand, hahaha.

 

[StormRider]

]This actually happened to me when I was 14... picture me... I was about 5'9&quot; at the time... she was 6'1&quot;... me sitting in a chair... looking up in horror.... while she went to town on my face with both fists... blood streaming down my face from my bleeding nose and busted lip... finaly I stand up... and say... &quot;hey! stop hitting me&quot;... pretty lame reaction... but it's all I could think of at the time... her response was to blast me twice more in each eye... so I grabbed her face with both hands and head butted her! then I ran humiliated out of the room... hit her but good too... knocked her flat on her back...


Just out of curosity, why did she start wailing on you?

 

[Doboji]

<< Just out of curosity, why did she start wailing on you? >>



It was a really stupid reason.... we were both in Orchestra... both played violin at the time... I forgot my music and asked her if I could share... she said no... so I calmly said... umm no.. and pulled the music a little closer to me so I could read... she snatched it back... then I snatched it, then she snatched it, then I snatched... she stood up..... fast forward to my first post in this thread.

-Max

 

[LordMaul]

I would try and grab her arms and wrists, and if I succeeded, and she didn't/wouldn't calm down, I would squeeze a bit, maybe...But if I didn't do that and/or I couldn't grab her, then I would plant my hand right in the upper-middle of her chest, a little below her neck, and push her firmly onto the softest spot I could aim her at.

All of this, of course, would only happen if she was one big bitch like Chyna or something and actually made me stop laughing.

 

[LordMaul]

<< Take out an ankle. Then walk away. She can't hit you if she can't stand. >>



Heh, yeah and break her ankle and/or make her hurt like hell when she hits the ground, right?

If you are not a pu$$y and can take a few little girlie slaps, then just laugh like you should. If she is aiming to really hurt you, then just grab her, and plant a big wet one right down on her kisser.

 

[Pastore]

i would just start to laugh histerically...

 

[Electric Amish]

Like most here, I'd block/grab their arms/legs until they became serious about it. Then I'd pull out the JUDO CHOP!

If they want to be treated equally.......

amish

 

[Rand]

Grab for their arms/legs to stop them from beating/kicking you. It isnt right to lay a finger on a female in an attempt to hurt her regardless of the reasons, whether she is right or wrong doesnt matter.

 

[bigredguy]

hard to say

 

[Tib]

I'd do #3 first...that prolly wouldn't work though, especially if it was more than 1 girl, and if she was big.


...

If no one was watching....I would do #5 and run like hell.

If someone was watching, I'd just run.

But that's just me.

 

[StageLeft]

I take the stance that its chauvanist not to hit a woman if she attacked you just because she's a woman. With anybody if you can just pin them down its better but if you can't only a goof would take a beating just so that they didn't have to &quot;raise their hand against a woman&quot;. Its called self-defense!

 

[GunNut]

try #3 first if that didnt work try #4 then if that didnt work #5 lock and load

 

[perfectlysane]

this happened at work once, a female coworker expressed her feelings on her abilty to beat me up and i just laughed. she tried, grabbed both of her fists with one hand, and laughed more... end of story.

 

[Dually]

<< I would die because of how pathetic I would be if that was possible.

Really? How big and strong are you? No offense at all, but there are some big and strong girls out there. Go to this page and scroll down until you see this caption:
Jenna Bussard on her way to an unofficial World Record Deadlift of 401lb. No supportive gear! Wow!

I bet she's a nice person, but if she wanted to kick the crap out of me, I doubt I could do much about it.
Yeah I know, I bet she's 4X stronger than most girls, but there are some girls that you wouldn't want to mess with. >>



I am not an asshole so I wouldn't get in that situation but if I ran into a woman that tough, I would resepct her and not get in that situation once again. I think one would have to be dumb to get in a situation like you gave but its very possible. Someone that fights her deserves a darwin award.

 

[Croton]

if i was getting beat down i prbalbly deserved it.
heh

 

[Antoneo]

Hahaha this thread is soo funny, argg my lungs!

 

[Tiger]

When I was a bouncer at the local kiddie bar I was told that fighting was the last resort and only when protecting yourself or another patron. Usually a nasty look worked best. If that doesn't work the female involved is in for the surprise of her life. If it comes down to fighting there is no such thing as a fair fight, only winning and losing.

 

[goodoptics]

7) Time for S&amp;M

 

[Red Dawn]

I'd float like a butterfly and sting like a bee!

 

[Linh]

#5

 

[NFS4]

<< I'd float like a butterfly and sting like a bee! >>


I thought you lost your stinger a long time ago