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Please, I need some advice on dealing with a friend on drugs

F

freak-o-a-l

Senior member
Well lets call my friend Bob. I've been friends with Bob for about 2 years now and we are both the same age and everything. We have always been very similar people. Same tastes in music, movies, everything, especially the staying straight laced thing, i.e. no drugs, alchohol, etc. Me as well as Bob have always felt strongly that not doing drugs and drinking was the way to go. Now about 2 weeks ago I went to the school football game to meet Bob there, I didn't see him so I asked someone were he was, they said he had gone out with some friends. So I thought okay, no big deal. Later I saw him and he didn't seem right, not his normal self and he was hanging out with some guys I had never met. I tried talking to him and he seemed like he was really tired, so that's what I assumed. Now on monday I started hearing that there was a party that night and everyone who went was smoking pot. I asked if Bob had been there, and they said yes. I'm thinking to myself, no way, not Bob, no way! So then I figured he had just had a bad night and there was no way that he would go to a party like that. Later that week, I heard that had gone out smoking pot with some other guys again, and I defended him, saying that he would never do something like that. Two days ago, I got a call from my other friend "steve" and he told me that he had just been over Bob's house and it smelled like he had been smoking Pot and that Bob was not himself i.e. glazy eyed and untelligible speaking. Now I am faced with the situation of what to do!? How should I confront him about it? I mean, if he isn't doing it and was just having a rough time at school and stuff, it would really piss him off that I assumed he was smoking. If he is, how can I help him? I don't want to just abandon him because he is my friend and I don't want him getting caught up in that kinda stuff or getting hurt. Please help. (sorry if there is alot of bad grammer and misspelling, I'm really upset)
 
You seem to be a bit in denial.

Anyway as to the problem. Many people do not consider pot a dangerous drug, or at least no more dangerous than alcohol. Yes it is illegal, but a good percentage of the population does use it, and on a frequent basis. Nevertheless, I would suggest you speak with 'Bob', and try and set him straight. Perhaps going to his clergy, family, or other friends. Many times people go the pot route after a tragic event, such as divorce, death in the family or depression. Perhaps it will blow-over by itself.
 
If using drugs something you do not like, tell "Bob" that you will not hang with him anymore, and tell him why. The last thing you need is to get pulled over by the cops with him in your car carrying, or to be over at his house when the cops come by. You don't need the "guilty by association" rap on your head.

After that, back off, dude. If "Bob" still wants to smoke, let him smoke. Nothing you can do about it.
 
Keep in mind, he could just be experimenting, and maybe he will decide it is not for him. It has only been two weeks according to what you said, so this is possible. And some people can smoke socially, and never have it affect their everyday lives. But if you think he has a problem, then the best way to deal with it is to cut him loose. Drug addicts only start to face what they have become when they lose the people important to them. I know, been there done that. It's always hard to turn your back on somebody you care about, but if you are there backing him up, it will only serve to support his decision. At least thats what worked for me, and what helped me to straighten up. I realized when it came down to it, what was really important in my life.
 
well, I say leave Bob alone. He's an adult right? Then he can do his own thing and deal with the consequences himself.

Just don't let the guy take you for a car ride when he's stoned.
 
ohh god now that I actually read your post, and not just responding to the title and first line, JESUS, the dude is just smoking a little weed lay off. Smoke some yourself. For christs sake, be glad he's not an alcoholic which is about 100X worse.

 
Well, providing that he just started. He should be able to stop at a snap of a finger. Probably he felt that he just wanted to be cool with the crew. (peer pressure)
Well, take it easy on him and take it step by step, eventually he'll snap out of it.
 
Thanks for the suggestions and to AaronP, No Thanks, Not for me. I am just worried because I know that Pot can sometimes be the "Gateway Drug" that opens up the doors to more serious drugs. The thing that I forgot to mention is that I heard that he had been doing for awhile now and I was completly obilivious. I had been in a car with him many times and always assumed he was straight because I had no reason to beleive otherwise. Now that I look back, I'm happy we never got pulled over and got caught with it in the car. He has always been a little wierd but so am I. We had always agreed that we would never do it and now he turns his back on me and does it? I'm worried that there is a bigger problem that is causing him to do it.
edit: And BTW, Bob just turned 17, not what I would consider an adult
 


<< , No Thanks, Not for me. I am just worried because I know that Pot can sometimes be the &quot;Gateway Drug&quot; >>


Not really. I use to do it alot, but just got tired of it. Now all my friends do it and I can care less. Just let him use it, he will either get over or a normal user. You can't do anything about it. Latley, alot I know are just selling it, not using it.
 
Pot is NOT a &quot;gateway&quot; drug!:|

People who do crack or coke or smack or huff damn Lysol do that because they are addicted or because they just love the high.😛

I would have thought that alcohol would have been the true &quot;gateway&quot; drug if there ever was gonna be one.

At 7 I started opening my stepdads Schlitz before I took it outside to him and then I started taking big swigs of it well I drank hard till I quit 8/1/86. I'm talking a 1/5 in 45 min. and a 12 pack any given night.

I've smoked pot off and on since I was 9 and I've never lost a job over it, it's never affected my ability to pay my bills or care for my family and I've never not known what I was doing or forgot how to talk. 😛
If you find this is happening to anyone you know that is smoking pot then you must have them phone me right away so that I can confront whoever is giving them that phat dope!😎😕

If you don't like being around him when he's high then tell him so and ask that he not do it around you. But if you wanna be his friend then spend the time with him that you can and make the best of it. 😀

Like my sig says
 
I'm with urbantechie, I used it for a couple years, never did any other drugs other than alcohol, and quit all at once for no real reason other than it just lost it's appeal. My friends still do it alot, I'm around it alot, but I just don't do it anymore. Calling pot a &quot;gateway drug&quot; is like calling Tylenol a &quot;gateway drug&quot;.
 
<<Pot is NOT a &quot;gateway&quot; drug!>>

CliffC: Oh yeah, you're the expert after all, forget about the hundreds of studies that have been done to show that pot is indeed a gateway drug, forget all the phychologists that will tell you it's a stepping stone, just go by your expertise. Obviously, all that smoking has indeed affected your brain more than you're aware of.

Incidentally, I don't think smoking pot is as huge a deal as some would make it out to be, but please folks, there's no need to steer someone that is NOT doing it towards it. freak-o-a-l, let him do his thing, stay out of it, and if/when your friend regains his senses, hang out with him again.
 
Actually ANY drug is a gateway drug to those so inclined.

My suggestion freal-o-a-l, is to tell &quot;Bob&quot; you still disapprove of pot smoking and that you don't want to hang around him while he is high (or pressure you to try it).

Listen to him. Then make up your own mind what to do. Evidently you are starting to go different ways; there is nothing you can do - it's his life and his choice.
 
I won't get into if its a gateway drug or not. Personally I'm not into itor alcohol, thats just not me, but I've known plenty of people who have used it. For most of them its just a phrase of experimentation and they outgrow it. Most won't say they were outgrew it, but it was just becoming more mature I'd say. Anyway its going to be a phase he'll outgrow or maybe not, but you can't make someone quit, they have to want to. It might be worth just mentioning to him one night that you heard he had started to smoke and ask if its true.
 
Cliffc, you said

&quot;Pot is NOT a &quot;gateway&quot; drug!&quot;


Yeah? really? tell that to a friend of mine that just failed a treatment center that I spent a small fortune(to me at least) to help her get into to begin with. She's trying to kick heroin but is also using valiums, coke, just about everything. Guess what she started on? POT that oh so harmless thing according to you.

What is it about you pot smokers that you have this itching burning desire to get others to start using too? &quot;smoke some yourself&quot; &quot;it's not a gateway drug&quot; &quot;it's harmless&quot; Why do you idiots constantly spew propaganda FOR pot? So you made a braid dead decision to start, just leave it at that. Don't drag others down with you. If you can use it and not move on to other drugs then goody for you. IT IS NOT THE SAME FOR OTHERS SO QUIT TRYING TO SPREAD POT USE. Since being intoduced to pot (a gateway drug)by idiots like you she has graduated to everything else. Now people like me have to scrape together the resources and time to help her rebuild her life. Do you ever wonder if the world is better off without you?
 
eia430, it sounds like your friend has an &quot;addictive&quot; personality. She could just have easily started on hard drugs from sugar, cigarettes, alcohol or inhalents.

Pot CAN be a gateway drug. It has been said that tobacco smoking is a possible &quot;gateway&quot; to marijuana smoking.
 
The most effective approach is to just tell him that as his friend, you're worried that he might be getting himself into something that he doesn't want to get into, and that you're not interested in being friends with someone who is smoking pot as a habit because it affects your friendship.

And as for those who say that it's not a gateway drug...tagej has got it on the head. Whether you guys have smoked pot since you were 3 or not, it has been proven through scientific tests that in most cases it IS a gateway drug...ESPECIALLY in teen years, which I assume(?) that &quot;Bob&quot; is.
 
apopin, you may be right but is that her fault? Do these idiots doing their best to spread pot use even bother to asses the vulnrabilities of different people before they spew their filth? Before they declare that pot is not a gateway drug so ademantly? I wonder how many people that would otherwise not have gotten into it go down in flames before these idiots figure out that trying to encourage pot use hurts others?
 
Since being intoduced to pot (a gateway drug)by idiots like you she has graduated to everything else.

She's responsible for her own actions. She's the idiot for using heroin.


The whole &quot;gateway drug&quot; thing is stupid. It completely depends on the person.
 
Well, eia430, I am not condoning marijuana use.

I am also not singling out marijuana as the &quot;evil gateway&quot; drug. People with an addictive personality have an especially difficult time avoiding substance abuse. Education is the key - and something stronger than the &quot;just say No&quot; program.

How would you feel if your friend became an alcoholic first and then a heroin abuser? Alcohol is promoted everywhere (movies, ads, peer pressure, etc.). Ultimately, the responsibility lies with your friend; not the irresponsible people promoting their weak lifestyle.

EDIT: To answer your question - YES, it IS her fault.
 
enginenr9 you said...

&quot;She's responsible for her own actions. She's the idiot for using heroin. The whole &quot;gateway drug&quot; thing is stupid. It completely depends on the person.&quot;


This is a terrible thing for me to say, but I really do wish that one day because of other stresses in your life that your drug use increases and you are in the same position that she is now. Then you will understand the idiocy, calusness, and selfishness of what you just said. Then when your whole family and friends turns you away just pray to God that some person like me is willing to give up a whole lot to help you out.

 
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