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Parents who get lazy at parenting..

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For my family, it goes something like:

oldest - male - overachiever. ivy league schooler.
2nd oldest - male - normal kid, does what it takes to live life, but not an overachiever. getting masters/phd in english.
3rd oldest - female - lazy, no motivation, and "barely trying" to get by in life.
4th oldest - female - in university, pretty smart, works hard. 1st year there.

Typically, from what I've seen it's the middle kids that are always screwed up in a 3 or 4 sibling family.

In a 1 sibling family, the kid is always screwed up.

 
Older brother: Excellent grades in HS despite drinking and drugs, however these got the best of him after that and he only finished university a year and a half ago (I think) after a ten year absence, degree in media planning (?). Now living in Toronto, working a job he doesn't like (cooking) but looking for something better.

Older sister: Always excellent grades, degree in graphic design, was a webby for several years but now does video editing at a production/post-production house. Shares an apartment in Chicago.

Me: Mostly mediocre grades since junior high, took two years off after HS then went to college on a music scholarship. After five years, gave up on finishing degree. Contracted at current IT job since November, but converted to permanent (hired w/ salary) almost three weeks ago. This will be the year I: move out, (maybe) get a car, go for citizenship, and figure out where/how to finish my degree (went to college out of state).

Spider.
 
OLdest, Girl - 26 - Currently a Lawyer for the biggest firm in StL, making 100k+ a year mareied to a soon to be orthopedic surgeon - hes in his last year of med school currently - god i hate her 😛
2nd oldest - Guy - 23 - Has a BS in Physics from a good privite school - currently in photography school - plans on getting his MFA and teaching
3rd oldest - 20 - Guy, currently at a state school, switched majors from CS to English - smokes way to much weed but still has a 3.4 GPA so all is not lost
 
Eldest - Brother - College Dropout / Professional Web Designer
Middle - Sister - High School Salutatorian / Dual Degree from Brown / PhD from UPenn
Youngest - Me - BA from UPenn / MS from NJIT

Due to my father's steady rise up the corporate ladder, by the time I showed up (9 years after my brother) there was a lot more money for things for me to do. I probably had more attention and activities than either sibling.
 
Parents get more lax and accepting of their childrens ability to decide their own lives as time goes on.
 
My sister (33 years old) - GED, never worked a steady job, typical welfare mother
Me (18) - HS 3.5, aiming for MIS degree.
Brother (16) - No goals in life, C's and D's in HS
Neice (my sister's first daughter, raised by my parents, 6th grade) - Whore (I mean that in every sense imaginable, including the ones that you should never have to imagine with a 6th grader)
Nephew (my sister's first son, raised by my parents, 1st grade) - Mentally retarded.

Ignoring my sister as a fluke, yeah, there's definitely a downward slope of achievement.
 
Hm... my sister is about 2 years older than me. She was the typical over-achiever all through HS, AP classes and high GPA and everything.
I, on the other hand, managed to end up with 3.2something or so. I never did homework, so that made my grades look worse, but I always managed to get A or better on tests/exams. I was the rebellious one.
She went to college, ROTC, but after a year or so dropped out of college altogether and got a job at a cafeteria with her illegal immigrant dishwasher boyfriend, and had to pay back the money she got from ROTC. She's had two kids with the guy, they were married for a few years, but now she's single and working at some sort of phone job.
I hung around after HS, until I got kicked out of the house for drinking. Had a string of meaningless jobs, spent a short time being homeless, then joined the military. Now I still have no degree but make $50k/year working in IT.
Our little brother who is now 14 is an unknown quantity. It's almost like being an only child for him now, having such a big age difference.
 
Parenting is a crapshoot. I mean, you can certainly screw it up, but you only have so much control. Good parents can have bad kids. And vice-versa.
 
Originally posted by: Howard
Me - Studying mechanical engineering (though at Ryerson), poor work ethic
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😀

Older sister: Wasted a year or two at York U before switching into the well-respected Graphic Communications Management program at Ryerson, had her pick of jobs immediately after graduation with a bachelor's. Married at 27, both she and her husband own a car each, a very nice condo and share a cat.

Me: Also went to Ryerson but for computer science. Still at home, no car. Always had a more antagonistic relationship with the parental units, out of school for a year while I got my game together mentally to pull up my then-abysmal GPA to a B. Graduating a year late but fairly unworried about the future.
 
Oldest- 3 kids. 2 different fathers, did not graduate HS
2nd oldest - 2 kids married, did not graduate HS
middle- Graduated HS, some college, having a kid in the next 5 months
2nd youngest- one kid, did not graduate HS
me- graduated HS, going to trade school for computers, already lived on his own for a few months, more responsible then all the others

Parents can teach thier kids how to wipe thier butts, but it is up to the child if want to wipe thier butt or not.

To say the parents get lazy I would say no, it just comes to a point in life were a child becomes old enough to do what they want to do. Yeah, it is the parents job to teach the child how to live a good life. But not every child becomes a good person.

 
My kids:

Oldest (11): I get a lot of blank stares from him.
next (8): Phsychological issues. Will probably be arrested several times before he graduates.
next (6): will be successful. Definitely a girly girl. She will be the cheerleader you either hate or lust after.
younges (3): Shows good intelligence and a wit that is remarkeable for a 3 year old. Will probably do the best or will continue to be a momma's boy and live with us until I kick him out of the house at 36.
 
my family:
oldest: drop out of highschool, later on ended up in college as a mature student (29) through work and graduated in some kind of social services
middle: university student almost ready to graduate
youngest: just starting college.
 
Originally posted by: Triumph
I'm the youngest of 6 and I've turned out fine (I guess), by most standard ratings (jobs, grades, school, etc). But I always yell at my parents for not really pushing me to do activities as a kid. Older siblings had the sports and the piano lessons and stuff like that. By the time they got to me, it was a chore to take me to football practice for the one year I did play. "Can you get someone else to bring you home?" "Do we have to go to your game?" By the time they got to me it's like, "What's the point?"
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It was the exact opposite for me. I'm the oldest child, and I never got anything. Like you said it was a chore to get my mom to even let me play sports, which didn't last very long. They didn't care about my grades, never checked, they didn't even help me get into college. I had to find their previous year tax stuff to file my own financial aid and just put the form in their face to sign it.

My youngest brother gets everything. PS2 and games, sports, disciplined if his grades slip - even put into a private school. New clothes, dropped off at friend's house or camping trips, etc. My second brother also got/gets a lot of attention - he got a new acoustic guitar then a bass guitar for his birthday, his first car was bought for him, when he had his own apartment and couldn't pay his bills my mom helped him out with that.

:|

And even though I was a deprived and depressed child in those years, I ended up being the most successful person in my family. I still wish I had better self-organization and management habits, because it took me 6 years to finish my associates degree...

Maybe it's not about how much attention you get or do not get, but it's about your observation of the other siblings. You might not be conciously aware that you're analyzing the parente/sibling relationship, but the older children are more mature to understand the cause/effect of any action of the parents without a first-person bias getting in the way.

My wife is the same way, she is almost the youngest in her large family but she turned out the best.
 
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