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Parents who get lazy at parenting..

S

Syringer

Lifer
To those with multiple siblings, how's the "standard deviation" among they way they are in life?

My friend is the 2nd oldest in his family of four..and they've all steadily dropped in their rankings..this is rougly how they all turned out:

Oldest brother - Went to Dartmouth, got accepted to pretty much every med school he applied to, now going to med school at Cornell..pretty much the typical overachieving kid
Friend - Recently graduated from UCLA as a geography major, living at home now working..
3rd child, girl - High school graduate, getting associate's degree for nursing
4th child, boy - Getting C's and D's in HS, drinks and parties all the time and is unlikely to graduate high school..pretty much the typical rebelious trouble kid.

Is it normal for siblings to deviate this much from each other? 😕
 
Another family situation:

1st -- Ph.D.works FT
2nd -- H.S. drop out works FT
3rd -- almost H.S. drop out now attending CC (but working really hard so let's hope) and works about 20 hrs.
4th -- in H.S., doing well. Definitely the "brain" of the family but not always a hard worker. We'll see!

but parents were never "supportive" of school and actually made jokes about how "school is evil" 😕

edit: typo
 
Oldest sibling - Computer engineer (studied at U of T) now working for IBM, great work ethic throughout academic career
Middle sibling - Almost CA (Canada equivalent of CPA? - she needs a few more years of work experience to get it - studied at Schulich school at York U), good work ethic
Me - Studying mechanical engineering (though at Ryerson), poor work ethic

Maybe there is a connection.
 
Oldest - Single mother (divorced), working FT
Next - Starts grad school in fall (me)
Next - UCLA undergrad
Youngest - Doing well enough in school, but way into video games (relatively speaking)

Dunno, all turned out decent enough so far. Older sister kinda farked up around age 19, but has gotten her affairs in order and is doing alright.
 
I'm the youngest of 6 and I've turned out fine (I guess), by most standard ratings (jobs, grades, school, etc). But I always yell at my parents for not really pushing me to do activities as a kid. Older siblings had the sports and the piano lessons and stuff like that. By the time they got to me, it was a chore to take me to football practice for the one year I did play. "Can you get someone else to bring you home?" "Do we have to go to your game?" By the time they got to me it's like, "What's the point?"

I've seen plenty of familys with that last "mistake" child who is quite a number of years younger than their next sibling. Those ones turn out the worst!
 
You get a lot of resentment in large families. Plus parents have to divide their time between more and more children, so the kids suffer.
 
Originally posted by: Fritzo
You get a lot of resentment in large families. Plus parents have to divide their time between more and more children, so the kids suffer.
Click to expand...

Yeah that's how it seems to be.
 
Oldest: Rhode Island School of Design (no sloucher there)
2nd(me): Rice Univeristy, MechE with Robotics specialization.
3rd: HS, but way overachiever.
4th: still only 6 y/o, jury is still out. Yeah, this one was a surprise.
 
Oldest brother in my family - went on disability because he never worked and ballonned to over 400 pounds - did not follow any instructions, now does not have legs. Never kept a job more than 2 months in his 40 year life.

2nd oldest - associates degree in business - has always done well for himself managing grocery stores (he loves it for some reason).

Me - Masters in Public Admin - good job (albeit underpaid) brother above makes much better than I. . .



 
My older sister - Good grades in high school, went to college, got an art degree and is currently working in Portland, while saving up to take another trip (went to New Zealand a few months ago).
Me - Good grades in high school, going to college, getting a degree in Chem E, currently working in Seattle part-time at a local high school.

I guess my parents just didn't get lazy 😛
 
My family doesn't match at all

Oldest Brother - Dropped out of college, Joined up, got kicked out, drives a taxi in mississippi, several illegitimate children, 2 divorces. Total loser. (29 y/o)

Next Brother - masters in communication, politicial science, working on Ph.D in comm. FT job, happily married w/2 kids, afraid of the real world, still in college after 12 years. 28 y/o

Sister - dropped out of HS due to partying/drugs/alcohol, married at 18, moved to NY, got beat up by life, divorced twice, finally got a degree, but is still reckless and irresponsible 26y/o

me - outstanding HS (sports & academics) college degree in busineness/IT, own my own business + full time job, looking at buying a house at 22y/o?

We were all raised as Mormons though, which explains everybody going into the extremes of loserdom and academia. I stopped attending in my Junior year of HS, and I think I am the most well adjusted child in the family by far -- normal friends, emotionally stable, financially stable (no one else is, at all), no wild need to "show the world."

randal
 
Parents: Full time school teachers.
Oldest Sister: Dropped out of college, got married, had a baby, stay at home mom.
Oldest Brother: Working on masters degree in poly sci
Older Brother: Autistic (but smart as hell), 3rd year at community college, I have know idea what he will do in life.
Me: 3rd year at community college, dropping out to join the Navy.
 
Older sister: Great marks in HS, liberal arts undergrad, now married and working FT, doing well for herself (24, happily married, 2 dogs, car, own house etc).
Me: Great marks in HS (though always a few points behind sis), still in undergrad CompEng, got an internship recently and I'll be getting slightly more $ than my sis is making 🙂

I'd say we're pretty much tied, except in the relationship department, where she wipes the floor with me. She was just getting married when she was my age 😱
 
Older Bro (27) - Biomedical engineer, working for a top consulting firm as a manager
Me (22) - Electrical engineer, working for a small network consulting company in NYC

my parents did slack with me i think though, they did not pay attention to my grades as much as they did my bros.
 
Well, with my family, my sister and I: (had a half-brother from my dad's previous marriage, but he doesn't count)

Older sibling: Lawyer (studied business at W&M, went to USD for law school), now working for a firm in San Bernadino, great work ethic, has a 1 year old daughter and married.
Me: Aspiring tax lawyer (studying accounting/economics at the UW), getting my Master of Acctg next year, coming back after three/four years of FT work for law school; will take the CPA exam Spring 2006. Single, good work ethic.

We're alike in many ways, we were both h.s. valedictorian, both RAs in the dorms at our respective undergrad, both attended/will attend law school. My mother is a school teacher, Masters degree, 40 years of experience, my father is recently retired, was a PMP for IBM for the last five years of his career and was a PM for Boeing for about twenty-five years before that.
 
Me: No sports talent at all. Financial professional, Magna Cum Laude business school graduate, studying for my CFA. Severely introverted. Never really got in trouble.

Younger sister: Family "jock", played on the state champion softball team when she was in HS (starter). At OSU studying nursing and business, fairly decent chance of graduating Cum Laude. Very extroverted. She's 19 and just got through telling me all about this 6-kegger party they threw Friday night.

Back in HS the teachers never figured out that she and I were related unless one or the other of us told them.

ZV
 
older sister - straight A's up until high school. decided to go to a local college and commute from home. majored in English. graduated in 5 years with a 3.0-ish and is going to another local school to get her Master's.

me - mediocre through high school... high C's, B's, and the occasional A in my good classes (history, english, art). went to Penn State for college. dual-majored in English Lit and Sociology. graduated in 4 years with a 3.8-ish GPA. looking at Columbia, NYU, and NJIT for grad school.

My older sister worked hard all through grammer school and high school, and then got lazy in college.

I was pretty lazy all through grammer school and high school, but turned it around in college and became an academic machine 😀

I think at least on some subconscious level, my laziness in the lower grades might have been some kind of attempt to separate myself from my sister, who my parents always saw as the brains in the family. then when I went away to college 400 miles away from home, that issue no longer really applied and I was able to feel comfortable with being a brain.
 
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