PARENTS: what's better?

[bozack]

Originally posted by: conjur
Some opponents of daycare say that the daycare teachers end up raising your children. BZZZT! Wrong! My ex has worked in daycare for more than a decade and both of my daughters stayed in daycare. Their belief systems, morals, etc. are from what I and their mother have instilled in them.

I honestly don't know how much I would agree with this having known many who were the product of either nannys or daycare...your daughters might be the exception, but to say that all children don't pick up anything from their daycare teachers is pretty ignorant...also how would you truly know if your ideals/philosophies were in line with that of the daycare teachers?...fact is you wouldn't.

Personally I see nothing wrong with daycare, but I would enjoy avoiding that cost when the time comes if possible....good luck in your decision.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude
We have a 2.5 year old. He goes to an in-home provider who is like a gramma to him, and there are 2-3 other children there for him to socialize with. its a good soluction IMO.

Daycare centers run about $1000 -/+ 150 per month here in madison. Our provider charges about 60% of that, but we have to cover when she's sick or takes vacation time. Another major plus is that she lives 9 houses down from us. major convience.

Edit: There is no doubt who is raising my kid. Its me and my wife.

That's exactly what we want. Some sort of a nanny person and maybe 2 other kids, so that there is some social interaction going on.

oh yeah you guys are expecting.... congrats again. :beer: My wife and I have another one on the way too. Not looking forward to the daycare bill of that, but our oldest may start montessori next year anyway. I don't know about where you live, but there is a agency here in Madison that certifies and organizes in-home providers...just a suggestion. You should be looking now too.... cheers!

 

[MoobyTheGoldenCalf]

Originally posted by: bozack

Originally posted by: conjur
Some opponents of daycare say that the daycare teachers end up raising your children. BZZZT! Wrong! My ex has worked in daycare for more than a decade and both of my daughters stayed in daycare. Their belief systems, morals, etc. are from what I and their mother have instilled in them.

I honestly don't know how much I would agree with this having known many who were the product of either nannys or daycare...your daughters might be the exception, but to say that all children don't pick up anything from their daycare teachers is pretty ignorant...also how would you truly know if your ideals/philosophies were in line with that of the daycare teachers?...fact is you wouldn't.

Personally I see nothing wrong with daycare, but I would enjoy avoiding that cost when the time comes if possible....good luck in your decision.

I would have to agree that daycare teachers have at least a little influence on the morals and values of kids. But again, that just points to selecting the right daycare for you. We send our son to a Catholic-run daycare. To us, that's better than sending him to a place where they don't care how he turns out.

 

[Homerboy]

Originally posted by: MoobyTheGoldenCalf

Originally posted by: bozack

Originally posted by: conjur
Some opponents of daycare say that the daycare teachers end up raising your children. BZZZT! Wrong! My ex has worked in daycare for more than a decade and both of my daughters stayed in daycare. Their belief systems, morals, etc. are from what I and their mother have instilled in them.

I honestly don't know how much I would agree with this having known many who were the product of either nannys or daycare...your daughters might be the exception, but to say that all children don't pick up anything from their daycare teachers is pretty ignorant...also how would you truly know if your ideals/philosophies were in line with that of the daycare teachers?...fact is you wouldn't.

Personally I see nothing wrong with daycare, but I would enjoy avoiding that cost when the time comes if possible....good luck in your decision.

I would have to agree that daycare teachers have at least a little influence on the morals and values of kids. But again, that just points to selecting the right daycare for you. We send our son to a Catholic-run daycare. To us, that's better than sending him to a place where they don't care how he turns out.

CATHOLIC!??! Oh jeez Moby why didnt you say that in the other thread?!

 

[MoobyTheGoldenCalf]

I didn't want to bring religion into it.

Actually, that was really just a coincidence. The daycare we picked just happened to be catholic-run. But it is so good, we probably still would have picked it even if it were muslim-run or something.

 

[TheGameIs21]

This is not an attempt to flame or to ridicule...

For those that have both mom and dad working... why? Is it because of debt, overspending, don't want to stay at home?

 

[Homerboy]

Originally posted by: MoobyTheGoldenCalf
I didn't want to bring religion into it.

Actually, that was really just a coincidence. The daycare we picked just happened to be catholic-run. But it is so good, we probably still would have picked it even if it were muslim-run or something.

HAhh I know thats why I prodded more in this thread

Personally Im catholic (flame on!!!) but in reality it wouldnt matter anything to me either... IF I careless enough and sent my kid to day care like a cold hearted bastard!!! JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!

 

[Hoober]

Originally posted by: TheGameIs21
This is not an attempt to flame or to ridicule...

For those that have both mom and dad working... why? Is it because of debt, overspending, don't want to stay at home?

My wife thought about staying home but decided that she might get bored and/or tired of taking care of a baby all day. Can't say as I blame her. My son's a wonderful baby, but sometimes you just need a break.

The bonuses of her going back to work full time outweighed the costs of daycare.

 

[CPA]

As harsh as this may sound, you married your wife, not your daughter.

My guess, and it's only a guess, you and your wife are having some difficulties because you are not spending enough time with each other. I can understand that. What good will it do you daughter if this reason ends up ruining your marriage? If you feel you need to spend more time with your wife to solidify your marriage, then do it. It will ultimately be better for your daughter. Daycare generally does not ruin a marriage, but the lack of personal time, attention, infrequent communication certainly does.

 

[CPA]

damn dp

 

[TheGameIs21]

Originally posted by: CPA
As harsh as this may sound, you married your wife, not your daughter.

My guess, and it's only a guess, you and your wife are having some difficulties because you are not spending enough time with each other. I can understand that. What good will it do you daughter if this reason ends up ruining your marriage? If you feel you need to spend more time with your wife to solidify your marriage, then do it. It will ultimately be better for your daughter. Daycare generally does not ruin a marriage, but the lack of personal time, attention, infrequent communication certainly does.

You married a wife but when a wife has a child then she also becomes a mother and between mother and wife, mother is more important towards the development of the baby. A baby is COMPLETELY reliant on others for everything. It is mom and dad's responsibility to raise that child and be mature enough to know that they are going to have to give up some freedoms for about 5 - 10 years. What happened to pre 80's when the divorce rate was way below 50% and moms stayed home and dads worked as many jobs as needed to provide a roof and food? That was the true definition of a man. Someone who did whatever it took to raise the family because the mom is the one with everything needed to raise the children and the fathers are the ones that provide everything else. Too often marriages end because of the lack of personal time after a baby and that is a selfish reason. Most of the time it is because they didn't have a clue as to what to expect and probably got married and had kids (or skipped the marriage thing alltogether) way too young. They also have these illusions of a TV family or a movie family that everything was perfect and everyone had enough $$ and maybe even a nanny. MARRIAGE IS EASY THE FIRST 3 DAYS AND NIGHTS, after that, you are working at making it work.

I know we are going way off post and damn near hijacking daveymarks thread but moms and dads need to pick up the roles that they have naturally and raise their children to know what to expect from marriage and what to look for in a spouse. Help them decide what they are going to do as an adult if they have kids. Let them know what to expect 5 years after the honeymoon etc... Many parents are leaving that education to the TV.

I didn't read into it that they are having problems so I wont go there.

Now with that off my chest.. I honestly am curious and wont pass judgement on people answering why they are not staying home. I have friends that cover the spectrum of why and I don't hold it against them. I don't agree all the time but I don't hold it against. My above rant is because of his first line rubbing me the wrong way.