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OMG!! My girlfriend got arrested today...

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Originally posted by: TheToOTaLL
Originally posted by: Eli

I just want to figure out how to go about the court stuff. She is willing to do anything if she doesen't have to pay the 380$.
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And to think, if you paid the $22 cab fair, you definately could have spotted her the $10 for the markers 🙁

Doesn't she have any credit cards?? The interest would have been worth more than the embarrassment & fines/fees.
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I know, it boggles the mind. That's what I kept saying to her... "All this for a 10$ pack of markers?!?! Why didn't you just ask me for them!? :Q" She has no credit cards, no.. lol

Is whats weird(to me at least) is that she just did it on her own, she had no friends with her or anything, which would make it a little different(but not OK of ocurse). She always stops at the Fred Meyer when she gets off the bus after school, to go to the bathroom. I guess she really wanted those pens. heh.

Oh well. Life goes on. It will be OK, I'm not really worried about it or anything.. I just wanted to see what you all would say about the possibility of doing community service instead of paying the fine, or something like that.
 
Stick with her and don't hang this over her head. She messed, tell her everything will be alright, and keep on with your life. If this is the worst thing she's done consider yourself lucky.
 
Originally posted by: Eli

Oh well. Life goes on. It will be OK, I'm not really worried about it or anything.. I just wanted to see what you all would say about the possibility of doing community service instead of paying the fine, or something like that.
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You pose a point - It may be good if she did have to pay the fine, as another reminder of what she did and help reinforce that she shouldn't do it again. But if that made her shorter on funds, I'd have for that to be temptation to do it somewhere else :Q
 
Originally posted by: Mutilator
Originally posted by: Eli
Also, about the blacklisting from all Fred Meyer stores.. I wonder if there is anything she can do about that? I really like Fred Meyer stores, and I feel sad that we aren't going to be able to shop there anymore. Do you think she could write a formal letter of appology or anything like that and be able to go there again?

🙁
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We aren't but YOU still can.
"Honey I'm going to Fred Meyer again would you like anything? :evil:"
😉
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Heh.

We spend 99% of our time together, besides when shes at school, though. It was just an idea, I just don't like the thought that Fred Meyer has her blacklisted, I would like her to try to make ammends with them if possible, you know what I mean?

I know it probably doesen't mean much to all of you, but you guys don't know her, and I do.. so I'm the one most qualified to speak about her personality and the like. I really think this is just a fluke. She's never shown any tendancy even remotely like this or anything, so I have no reason to believe it's the inner klepto in her starting to come out.

She's a very sweet, caring and generous person. She has always gotten pretty good grades in school, she was in the NJROTC class when she lived with her Dad in Washington, she's volunteered numerous hours at the Boys and Girls club, etc... If it weren't for this new thing, you would all think she was a very upstanding citizen.

She is taking responsibility for her actions. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to ask for a way to get her out of this.... I just wanted to see if she could trade, so to speak.. community service and probation instead of the fine, or at least a reduced fine, or something......
 
Originally posted by: Redhotjrm

As for the rest of them saying she won't get a job? Ha, that's laughable. First of all, it's a misdemeanor. 8/10 job applications say "Please list any felonies in the past 5 years." The other 2 will ask for misdemeanors and felonies.

I got a Public Intox (misdemeanor) when I was 19 and I have been hired for 3 very nice jobs since then (I'm 21 now). Don't worry about it. Just get a decent attorney and get it taken care of.
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1) the real jobs will ask you about your criminal background, but also do a search...you can be sure if they find something you didn't mention you will not be hired at all.

2) a Public Intoxication ticket is A LOT different than STEALING!

Also about apologizing to the store to be removed from the black list, good luck...most criminals are all sorry and make these promises never to do it again when caught, it's about a 50/50 split those that are being honest and those that are trying to weasel out of penalities.

I'd be more thankful she wasn't in a third world nation that would have lopped off her hand(s).

That said, a lawyer may be able to get it off her permanent record some how whether it's promising 3 years of weekly community service or a larger fine or just the goodness of his little Judge heart 😉

Å
 
Originally posted by: alkemyst
Originally posted by: Redhotjrm

As for the rest of them saying she won't get a job? Ha, that's laughable. First of all, it's a misdemeanor. 8/10 job applications say "Please list any felonies in the past 5 years." The other 2 will ask for misdemeanors and felonies.

I got a Public Intox (misdemeanor) when I was 19 and I have been hired for 3 very nice jobs since then (I'm 21 now). Don't worry about it. Just get a decent attorney and get it taken care of.
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1) the real jobs will ask you about your criminal background, but also do a search...you can be sure if they find something you didn't mention you will not be hired at all.

2) a Public Intoxication ticket is A LOT different than STEALING!

Also about apologizing to the store to be removed from the black list, good luck...most criminals are all sorry and make these promises never to do it again when caught, it's about a 50/50 split those that are being honest and those that are trying to weasel out of penalities.

I'd be more thankful she wasn't in a third world nation that would have lopped off her hand(s).

That said, a lawyer may be able to get it off her permanent record some how whether it's promising 3 years of weekly community service or a larger fine or just the goodness of his little Judge heart 😉

Å
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He is correct, REAL jobs do FULL background checks on peopel they hire. If you apply for a job that may have you drive on company time, you better not have a lot of speeding tickets. Stealing = dishonest, who wants a convicted theif handling their companies items? etc....

So yea it CAN come back to haunt her, or any one else here. Maybe not if you want to work at a grocery store, but for a real out of college job, they look.
 
Originally posted by: Eli
Originally posted by: Mutilator
Originally posted by: Eli
Also, about the blacklisting from all Fred Meyer stores.. I wonder if there is anything she can do about that? I really like Fred Meyer stores, and I feel sad that we aren't going to be able to shop there anymore. Do you think she could write a formal letter of appology or anything like that and be able to go there again?

🙁
Click to expand...
We aren't but YOU still can.
"Honey I'm going to Fred Meyer again would you like anything? :evil:"
😉
Click to expand...
Heh.

We spend 99% of our time together, besides when shes at school, though. It was just an idea, I just don't like the thought that Fred Meyer has her blacklisted, I would like her to try to make ammends with them if possible, you know what I mean?

I know it probably doesen't mean much to all of you, but you guys don't know her, and I do.. so I'm the one most qualified to speak about her personality and the like. I really think this is just a fluke. She's never shown any tendancy even remotely like this or anything, so I have no reason to believe it's the inner klepto in her starting to come out.

She's a very sweet, caring and generous person. She has always gotten pretty good grades in school, she was in the NJROTC class when she lived with her Dad in Washington, she's volunteered numerous hours at the Boys and Girls club, etc... If it weren't for this new thing, you would all think she was a very upstanding citizen.

She is taking responsibility for her actions. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to ask for a way to get her out of this.... I just wanted to see if she could trade, so to speak.. community service and probation instead of the fine, or at least a reduced fine, or something......
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No ones saying she's an evil thief or that we know her better. But you have to realize that this probably isn't her first time. Too many times I've seen people who think they know somebody only to realize later that they didn't.
 
dump her. A person like this is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and be the mother of your kids, so stop wasting your time on her.
 
OMG how absolutely brutal! I know that sometimes it can be tempting to wonder if you can pull it off. It's not that she wanted to save the $10 probably but it just seems _so easy_ sometimes to steal from a store. However, morals aside, there's always that voice in my head going "Am I missing something here? Is there a camera I can't see? What does the security know that I don't?" Then, when you realize that being an adult picked up for shoplifting with a permanent record will haunt you forever, if you're sane you go to the cashier and plop some cash down.
If she did it this time, she's done it before too, at least statisically speaking. I think there's an aspect of her you really don't know about my friend. I'd dig deeper on this aspect of her.
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I wonder that too. Unless she's really bad at this chances are she's done it before, since so few shopliftings are actually detected. Has she done it in the past? Does she pretend she hasn't? There is a good chance she has.
 
Originally posted by: bleeb
Is this the Fred meyer on Beavercreek Way??? Slap HER SILLY dawg!
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No, it's the Johnson Creek FM. She was in Oregon City because thats where she was let out of jail. 😛
 
Ok, let me tell you that they say you are blacklisted, but stores do not have a distributed blacklist. You can't obviously go back to that one store as the loss prevention officer will recognize her, but you can go to other stores. I wouldn't recommend going to stores in the surrounding area for awhile in case the loss prevention officer is working another store.

With that being said, I'm assuming she will not shoplift from the same store, because if she gets caught again they will see she was busted before and will possibly charge her with other things like criminal tresspass. I do think though, she is banned for a long while from the store she lifted from (ie years).

One other point is people usually lift hundreds of times before they get caught, you obviously know your gfriend better than any of us, but more than likely this wasn't the first time, but hopefully it will be the last. Sometimes it takes getting busted once for a person to stop, but other times they will eventually start lifting again and could go years without getting busted but will eventually.
 
OH schnacks.... I've been to that Fred Meyer many times.... What in the world would make her steal such a thing at this day and age? You must definitely SLAP HER SILLY.
 
Originally posted by: Jadow
dump her. A person like this is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and be the mother of your kids, so stop wasting your time on her.
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Thank you for your wonderfully honest, open and incredibly helpful comments.

Christ. All you know is what I have told you in this thread. Do you think it tells even 1/100th of her life story? Do you think it would be easy for me to convey her personality to you all in text? Why do people make such incredibly stupid blanket statements like this?

As far as I know it's her first and will be her only offense of this nature. I'm not going to dwell on it. You all have to understand that she isn't some fugitive that lives life on the edge.. LOL... the thought is laughable.

Maybe I don't know her as well as I thought. But you're all way over the line for even suggesting that I should break up with her or anything along those lines because of this. Absolutely ridiculous. Let me make that decision, OK? :|

Regardless, it's certainly not something we cannot work through. Being in a long distance relationship for the first 6 months we were together was more of an ordeal than this will be.

Morons.

As for those of you that have posted helpful comments, thank you.
 
Originally posted by: Eli
Originally posted by: Rogue
If she did it this time, she's done it before too, at least statisically speaking. I think there's an aspect of her you really don't know about my friend. I'd dig deeper on this aspect of her.
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That's just the thing. She's always been mrs. goody twoshoes, all the way up until I met her.. 😛 I mean sure she's stolen things before, but only when she was like 6 and didn't really know better.

I know what you mean though. It does make me feel like I don't know her as well as I thought, because it was just so out of the blue... 😕

I'm not going to dwell on it, she was pretty tramatized by the whole thing. The handcuffs left marks on her wrists. 😛 I honestly don't think she will do it again.

I don't really want to dwell on the fact that she shoplifted, I'm pretty sure whatever punishment she has comming and has already gotten will be enough. I just want to figure out how to go about the court stuff. She is willing to do anything if she doesen't have to pay the 380$.

It can be expunged from her record after a certain ammount of time. Of course, it will still be there, but it is sealed, and a normal background check won't pull it up. They could if they wanted to, though.
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not likely. Its going to adult court and thus will be on her PERMANENT record. The only things that are really removed from those are status offenses, which are lower than misdermeanors (think speeding tickets and the like). Your girlfriend now has a criminal record for the rest of her life.
 
She needs a lawyer ASAP.A background check will kill her chances of landing a good job with that on her record.A good lawyer might be able to get this matter discontinued without a finding and/or her record sealed due to her youth and the fact that she has no priors.
 
my my is she a little angel 😉

its her first offence and its minor.. don't get to worried about it.
To bad she got caught lol.

*edit* shes over 18... hmm... hopefully you have a nice judge 🙂
 
Originally posted by: Eli
Originally posted by: Jadow
dump her. A person like this is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and be the mother of your kids, so stop wasting your time on her.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your wonderfully honest, open and incredibly helpful comments.

Christ. All you know is what I have told you in this thread. Do you think it tells even 1/100th of her life story? Do you think it would be easy for me to convey her personality to you all in text? Why do people make such incredibly stupid blanket statements like this?

As far as I know it's her first and will be her only offense of this nature. I'm not going to dwell on it. You all have to understand that she isn't some fugitive that lives life on the edge.. LOL... the thought is laughable.

Maybe I don't know her as well as I thought. But you're all way over the line for even suggesting that I should break up with her or anything along those lines because of this. Absolutely ridiculous. Let me make that decision, OK? :|

Regardless, it's certainly not something we cannot work through. Being in a long distance relationship for the first 6 months we were together was more of an ordeal than this will be.

Morons.

As for those of you that have posted helpful comments, thank you.
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We're just calling it like we see it. A thief is a thief, no matter how pretty you try to paint the picture. Are you going to tell your parents she got caught stealing? What do you think they'll think?

KK
 
She's certainly never been caught shoplifting before, if she has done it.

I met her when she was just turning 17, we've been together 2 years. That is a significant chunk of life when you're this young.

Like I said, she was Mrs. Goodytwoshoes when we first met. She had never drank, done drugs, been in trouble with the law, or anything like that. She volunteered at the B&G club, was in ROTC classes at her school, etc. She has changed a lot in the last 2 years, mostly becomming more mature.

I knew her mom for a year before I met her, so her mom and I have known eachother for 3 years now. I've certainly never heard of any behavior anywhere near these lines.

Her brother is and always has been a problem child, always introuble with the law, on probation, and has spent many a month in juvie. She's very familiar with all that. She always looked down on him in a way because of that.

I bet she was not thinking that she is an adult now and she will be going to JAIL if she gets caught.. She was genuinely traumatized by the whole thing, for what my words are worth to you, I do not think she will do it again. I'm telling you, she just isn't like that.........

That's why the whole thing is so bizzare.
 
Originally posted by: KK
Originally posted by: Eli
Originally posted by: Jadow
dump her. A person like this is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and be the mother of your kids, so stop wasting your time on her.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your wonderfully honest, open and incredibly helpful comments.

Christ. All you know is what I have told you in this thread. Do you think it tells even 1/100th of her life story? Do you think it would be easy for me to convey her personality to you all in text? Why do people make such incredibly stupid blanket statements like this?

As far as I know it's her first and will be her only offense of this nature. I'm not going to dwell on it. You all have to understand that she isn't some fugitive that lives life on the edge.. LOL... the thought is laughable.

Maybe I don't know her as well as I thought. But you're all way over the line for even suggesting that I should break up with her or anything along those lines because of this. Absolutely ridiculous. Let me make that decision, OK? :|

Regardless, it's certainly not something we cannot work through. Being in a long distance relationship for the first 6 months we were together was more of an ordeal than this will be.

Morons.

As for those of you that have posted helpful comments, thank you.
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We're just calling it like we see it. A thief is a thief, no matter how pretty you try to paint the picture. Are you going to tell your parents she got caught stealing? What do you think they'll think?

KK
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I know, thats why I wish you guys actually knew something about her, us and our relationship, because since you do not.. you're validated in comming up with off the wall statements like that. 😛

Of course everybody will find out. I am pretty sure her mom will have the exact same reaction as me.

Dunno what her dad will think, but it will probably reflect bad on me.. since she has never been in this kind of trouble before. 🙁
 
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